Finally (Mature Men, #3) (4 page)

Granddad had always tried to instill in my brothers and me the fact that a mature man shouldn't judge a prospective mate on physical beauty alone. Growing up we had all privately thought he was nuts. We'd all married for beauty and all ended up divorced. Both my marriages had been short-lived and ended badly.

After each divorce, I'd been thankful no kids were involved. However, watching my older brother John with his son and daughter, I knew I was missing a wonderful experience. At forty, I didn't have much time to waste if I was going to be a father. But my desire for fatherhood warred with my determination not to marry again in the near future.

Still, seeing John fall for the very plain but sweet woman he was now eagerly looking forward to marrying, I'd finally decided that just maybe it was time to consider Granddad's wisdom. After all, he'd been married to and adoring our very average looking grandmother for roughly seventy years.

I thought of Sherlyn. She had sparked my interest the moment our gazes met when she looked across the lobby at me that morning. I wasn't sure if I would have done anything to seek her out, but I'd certainly been pleased when I looked up to see her walking towards me.

I frowned. Sherlyn and Janine. Though I'd never met either one of them, I had a feeling both were friends of John's fiancée Amber. If my date with Sherlyn went as well as I hoped it would, I'd call John and get the lo-down on them both.

I spent the rest of the day looking forward to a date that I didn't expect to end with us hopping into the sack. Despite my sexual flirting, I wasn't sure I wanted to sleep with her, but there was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to get to know her and that I had no interest in her friend.

As intriguing as I found Sherlyn, I knew she wasn't going to be able to change my mind about her friend. Of course I wasn't about to admit that on our first date or there probably wouldn't be a second one. As it was, I'd have to tread carefully and do a better job of concealing my interest in her than I'd done in the food court.

S
herlyn

The rest of my workday was almost a wash as I spent most of it thinking about Shane and resisting the temptation to leave work early to prepare for that night. I guess I tried to make myself feel better about going out with him by refusing to call it a date. Even so, I knew he viewed it as a date and God help me, so did I.

When I got home, I found Janine waiting in my apartment building lobby. "What's happened? What's wrong?" I asked as we headed to the elevator together.

"Nothing. I'm coming with you."

"You're coming up to my apartment? Sure. Come on."

"No, Sher. I mean I'm coming with you tonight."

But you're not invited. He wants to see me tonight
. "You are?"

She nodded. "Of course."

We alighted from the elevator on my floor and walked down the hall to my apartment. My thoughts were swirling and I felt guilty and annoyed at the same time. "If you're coming, why don't you just go with him when he arrives and I'll stay home," I suggested, hoping she wouldn't agree.

"How can I when he's prejudiced against pretty women?"

She sounded as annoyed as I felt. I really had to work on not pointing out that it wasn't my fault he'd rather see me than her. Snapping at her because I wanted him for myself was a no-no.

"I'm feeling hot and sticky. Make yourself a drink while I take a quick shower," I said and left her alone in my bedroom.

For the first time in weeks as I stood with water cascading over my body, memories of the sexy showers I'd enjoyed with Darkwater overwhelmed me. Even with my eyes open I imagined I could hear his off-key baritone singing that I was the remedy for anything that could possibly go wrong in his life.

Recalling what a heady feeling knowing he felt that way had given me, I sighed. Damn, I missed our physical relationship. Unable to stop myself, I allowed memories of sex with him to overwhelm my senses.

Closing my eyes and leaning back against the tiled wall, I recalled how wonderful shower sex with him was...his big, wet hands caressing and massage my ass while his insistent lips rained warm, almost feverish kisses on my neck and breasts...

How could I ever forget the wonderful sensation of feeling the knot of need in my belly sending heat and electric shivers to all my nerve endings warning of maximum pleasure to come just seconds before he sucked my right nipple between his lips and then eagerly pushed his hard, thick cock inside me?

Oh, God, nothing had ever felt more heavenly than having him fill my pussy with the sweet heat of his cock and my heart with the intoxicating allure of falling deeper in love him with every hard, delicious thrust. He tunneled so deep into my pussy, that I felt as if each movement consumed me and bound me to him in a way no other man ever had. That included my darling Don. There was something so natural and right about loving Darkwater again that had obliterated my commonsense.

Loving him again? Oh, God. I opened my eyes and sucked in a deep, aching breath. Would it never end? Would I always be subject to these unexpected and unwelcome moments of despair when all I could think about was how sweet our six-week fling was and how much I regretted its abrupt ending?

I leaned by forehead against the tiles and closed my eyes. And the memories of love with him rushed over me again, surrounding and drowning me in bittersweet feelings best left buried.

The ache of the memory of making love in the shower with him pressed in on me again. The delight of hearing him whisper that my sweet sensuality excited his passion and desires as no other woman ever had. The absolute magic of feeling his big, warm hands pinching, cupping and adoring my breasts while he eased in and out of me, sending pleasure cascading all over me.

Each wonderful stroke erased some of the pain of having loved him for so long in vain. Each enchanting movement built on the next until my entire world centered around my pussy and his hard cock and the complete joy of knowing I was soon going to make him come.

Making him orgasm had always thrilled me because I secretly felt that each time I did, I somehow managed to claim a tiny piece of his heart. And despite everything, even now, there was a part of me that wanted his heart and his cock. His thick shaft filled my pussy as if it was designed for the sole purpose of giving me extreme pleasure.

I sucked in a breath and reached down a hand to rub my pussy and clit. With my eyes closed, I could pretend it was his hand stroking me instead of my own. But it wasn't and probably never would be again. Depressed by that certainty and the knowledge that I always thought of him when I was horny rather than Don, I shook my head, reached out to turn off the hot water, and allowed the shock of the cold water to cascade over my heated body and quickly cool my ardor.

Stepping out of the shower, I walked over to the mirror and stared at my reflection.
You are not falling for him again. He couldn't even be bothered to ask why you didn't show up to spend that last weekend with him because he didn’t care. He probably happily spent the night in the arms of yet another of his skinny blondes. He's poison and you'd better not forget that.

You have to get another lover ASAP or risk falling back in love with him.
Despite my best intentions, I thought of Shane and wondered what he looked like naked.
Get another lover, but not Janine's crush. Not him.

When I returned to my bedroom, I stood in front of my closet trying to decide what to wear. It was then that I checked myself. Only a ghetto rat, even considered kicking a good friend to the curb over a man whose last name she didn't even know.

"You're not wearing that. Are you?"

I turned from my mirror to find Janine staring at the simple black dress I'd slipped on in disapproval. The dress in question was one of the few that Darkwater had personally picked out and bought for me. "Why not?"

"Because you look really good in it," she said, sounding as exasperated as I felt.

I suppressed a smile recalling that Darkwater had certainly thought so. "And?"

"One look at you in that dress and I won't have a hope of getting his attention away from you."

I stiffened. Did she know I had his attention or was she speaking in general? "What do you suggest I wear instead?"

"Something more frumpy so his attention won't be on you but on what you're saying about me."

This from a woman who had changed every damned thing about herself because she was tired of being 'frumpy, fat, and unattractive.'? I shook my head. "It's not like I'm Miss American, Janine. I'm wearing this dress." Wearing it for another man would be a sign to myself that it was time I moved on with my life and dismissed any remaining unacknowledged desire I felt for Darkwater. "If you have a problem with me wearing it, then when he arrives, I'll introduce you and step aside."

"You know I'm not ready for that," she said, sounding angry.

"And I'm not ready for you to tell me I need to look frumpy," I said coolly.

"Why do you want or need to look good for him, Sher?"

Her question hit home and reminded me how close I was to a line I knew I shouldn't cross. But it also pissed me off. "You're a beautiful woman that any man would be happy to have on his arm. So why do you want or need me to look frumpy, Janine?"

She inhaled quickly and shook her head. "You know I'm still me inside, Sher. You know that."

What I knew was that I'd apparently encountered one of the few men capable of and willing to look below the surface to see the woman I was. And she wanted me to make myself as unattractive as possible for him
. Why shouldn't you cooperate? If she hadn't pointed him out to you, you would never have even known he existed. Yes, it's exciting to meet an attractive man who wants to know you instead of her. And yes, you could use an emotional boost after the way things ended with Darkwater.

But do you want or need it at the possible cost of your friendship? Don fell in love with you and for awhile, Darkwater was obsessed with you. There's no reason why you can't find love again. It might take a while but don't look for it at her expense.

Before I could change my mind, I pulled the black dress over my head and tossed it onto the bed. "What do you think I should wear?"

She bit her lip and then sighed. "I'm sorry, Sher. I just want to get to know him so badly I'm not thinking straight." She picked the dress up and handed it to me. "This is fine."

"Are you sure?"

Although she nodded, I knew she wasn't sure. I had a sinking feeling she didn't quite trust me with him.
Given your feelings and desires, she's right not to trust you.

"I think I'd better leave things in your capable hands. Call me when you get back and let me know how things went."

"You're leaving?"

She nodded. "Yes. I'd only be in the way and if he thinks I'm stalking him before we even meet, I won't have a hope in hell of getting him interested."

Left alone with my thoughts, I stood staring at my reflection at my vanity table. The very average face that looked back at me could never compete with Janine's. It was only a breath away from being plain. But despite the years I'd spent in love with Darkwater, I'd had one or two pleasant romantic interludes with other men besides Don.

I thought of Shane and sighed. I'd managed to garner the attention of three attractive men if only for a short while. I would not betray Janine's trust in me for the sake of a man whose interest might not last any longer than Darkwater's had.

Darkwater. Damn him for showering me with jewelry as a smoke screen to mask his lack of real interest in me. Damn him for not doing a single thing to keep our relationship going. After a brief moment of indecision, I walked over my vanity table. On it was a large box filled with jewelry he'd given me. I chose a gold choker and matching earrings. 

Instead of the black dress Darkwater had admired, I choose a green one with a scoop neck and a skirt that fell mid-calf. I didn't look as good as I would have in the black one, but I felt confident I looked well enough.

Feeling I'd wrestled my desire for Shane back under manageable control, I finished dressing and then nervously waited for him to arrive. While I did, I fought the urge to close my eyes and think of the damned Darkwater.

* * *

S
hane

John called as I was about to leave work that night. "Am's having a girls' night out with her sisters," he said of his fiancé. "Want to join Gabe, Lee and me for a brothers' night out?"

"I'm happy to say I can't because I have a date."

"With anyone I know?"

"Probably. Her name is Sherlyn."

"Sherlyn? Sher? Average looking and plump? Dark skin?"

"Yes. And she has a needy friend named Janine."

"Damn, Shane. They're both Am's friends. They were at the last dinner she gave when you were out of town on business."

"What can you tell me about her?"

"Which one? Sher or Janine?"

"I have zero interest in Janine," I said.

"Sher is a nice person, but she has some issues."

"What kind of issues?"

"Romantic ones. She and Darkwater dated for a few weeks."

"Dated as in they're no longer dating?"

"Yes, but I think you should know that Am told me he was her first love and you know women and their first loves. I'm not convinced she's really over him."

I shrugged. "Maybe I can help accomplish that."

"I'm not convinced he's over her either."

"Why do you say that?"

"He was nasty to her in public but the look in his eyes told a different story. At the very least, he still has the hots for her. So just be careful not to get emotionally involved with her until you're sure she's over him otherwise you'll wind up in the middle of an ugly mess."

"I'll keep that in mind," I promised. "But honestly the thought of ticking him off holds definite appeal."

"I'd love to see him ticked off if not for two things," John said.

"And they are?"

"I don't want to see it at your expense and if the hypocritical bastard ended up hurt, it will hurt Am."