Finding Chase (Chasing Nikki) (18 page)

Brett groaned. “Please tell me when you say the word “do”, you mean football and homework . . . 
not
my sister.”

I laughed loud, caught off guard.

His eyes narrowed. “What? No comment?”

The crowd cheered wildly as ASU intercepted the ball.

“Sorry, bro. No time to answer. Gotta go back to work.” I headed onto the field leaving Brett grumbling under his breath behind me. It was time to finish this game.

“You were amazing tonight,” Brittney said as we cuddled together on my bed.

“How’s that possible? I haven’t started yet.”

She tried to shove me away, but I clenched her tighter. “In the game, silly.”

I chuckled. “Oh, that. Yeah, I guess I did okay. The line did a good job of protecting me.”

“Quit pushing the glory off on to others. You rocked, and you know it.”

“If I was any good, it’s because I knew you were watching. I can’t put on a bad show for my girl, now can I?”

“You’d have been amazing whether or not I was in attendance. Chase Walker never does anything half way.”

“Is that so? When did you become such an expert on me?” I kissed the side of her mouth.

“I’ve been studying . . . a lot, or haven’t you noticed?” She kissed me back.

“Please continue your studying. I quite enjoy it—or perhaps I should be the one studying.” I rolled her over so she was underneath me.

“You mean you haven’t been?” Her white-blonde hair was spread over my pillow.

“No—not studying—memorizing.” I lowered my mouth to hers, dipping my tongue between her plump lips, enjoying the intimate taste of her.

She wrapped her arms around my neck, followed by hooking her legs around my waist, and I groaned against her as she pulled away slightly.

“You’re my prisoner,” she whispered. “Now you can’t escape.”

“I was already your prisoner, and I never want to escape.” I kissed her again, slow, languid, and deep. She sighed heavily.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“Nothing. I like the way you kiss. Keep doing it.”

I did as she asked.

“Where did you learn to kiss like this?”

“God given talent,” I muttered against her skin as I slid down her neck.

She slapped my shoulder. “I’m serious.”

I locked eyes with her. “Do you really want to know? I’m not sure you do.”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to know.”

I sighed, seeing how this conversation could turn bad in a hurry. “I’ve made out with lots and lots of girls.” I watched her closely for her reaction.

“And what makes me different from those girls?” She looked nervous.

“I’m in love with you. These kisses mean something . . . they’re not simply for gratification.”

“How many others were you in love with?”

I sighed, moving off her to sit up. “Only one, and you know all about her. Why the sudden questions?”

She shrugged and sat up next to me. “I’m not sure, but I honestly want to know.” She fiddled with her shorts before running her hand over the blanket.

“Is something wrong?” I asked.

She shook her head. “No. Not really.”

“Britt, talk to me. I can’t read your mind. You have to tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”

She glanced toward Nikki’s picture, silent for several moments, and I waited for her to speak.

“I feel kinda like I won you by default sometimes. I mean, I know you love me, but if Nikki were here, let’s face it—you and I would’ve never happened. I would’ve broken up with Matt, and then what? Been lonely? Would I have watched you and Nikki together and been jealous? I feel like the second choice. I don’t want to feel that way, but I do. If she were to reappear right now, you’d go right back to her, wouldn’t you?”

Damn, damn, damn.
I really did not need this right now. I didn’t have a clue how to answer her. I ran my hand over my head. “Britt, I don’t know why things happen the way they do, but I can promise you—you were never my second choice.”

She wrinkled her brow in confusion. “What do you mean? I don’t understand.”

“I mean you were the first girl who caught my attention when I moved to Silver Creek. You sat there in class giving me these shy smiles. I thought you were hot, and I would’ve hit on you, but Matt was hanging all over you—clearly marking you as his territory. I was new and didn’t want to push it. I figured there were other fish in the sea. Then I saw Nikki, and she was beautiful too—it progressed from there. Who knows why things happen the way they do? If you hadn’t been with Matt, it might have been you I went after. We could’ve dated and then Nikki wouldn’t have been coming to meet me at all. Maybe she would still be alive.”

“Oh, Chase . . . ,” she began, resting her hand on my arm.

“No. Stop, okay? If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that what you said is true—playing the “what if” game won’t get you anywhere. It only creates more hurt. Can I say what I’d do if Nikki walked in here right this moment? No. I can’t. Why? Because even though I’d be thrilled to see her, I’d be devastated too. I’d be in love with two amazing girls and know I’d end up hurting one of them by choosing the other. So, let’s do this instead. Let the past lie, Britt, there’s no possibility of a future for it. I don’t know why fate let things play out the way they did, but you’re my here and now. It’s all that matters to me. Yes, tragedy brought us together, but I can’t imagine my life without you. Don’t ever think you’re here by default. I love you.”

Her chin trembled as she fought back tears. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be weird about things. It’s been weighing heavily on my mind. I think deep down I’m . . . jealous of her. I don’t want to be because I love her too. She was one of my best friends. But I can’t help thinking if she were still alive, it would be her here in my place, and you’d be super happy. It’s hard for me to get over.”

“I understand what you’re saying, but I’m telling you it doesn’t matter. You’re my future. You and I will do stuff together I only dreamed about with Nikki. You—you’re the one those things will happen with. You’re the reality. Don’t doubt my feelings for you. Nikki—she was there for me when I needed her the most. She helped to shape and change me into the guy who’d fall in love with you. I’m better because of it, and you’re getting a better me because of it too.” I was frustrated. I didn’t know how to properly express what I was feeling—I only knew I was desperate for her to know I loved her—I mean really, truly loved her.

“I liked you from the first moment, Chase. I’m glad Nikki helped you with stuff, but I thought you were pretty awesome to begin with.”

“You did?”

“I did. I watched how you went after her. You did the most romantic things—and you respected her too. Matt was never that way with me. He’d blame me for things he did wrong, like when he got pulled over for speeding one day. He said it was my fault for distracting him. If he didn’t like someone, then he didn’t want me to talk to them either. He hated when I was around you.” She sighed heavily. “I wasted so much time with him—time that could’ve been spent with you if I’d been brave enough to walk away.”

“Well, guess what? You’re not with that jerk anymore, and I’m always willing to shower you with romantic things.” I smiled, placing my hand over hers.

“I know. You have been already. I guess I’m only wishing I’d been lucky enough to find you sooner.”

“Better late than never, right?”

She looked up, and a soft smile played on her lips. “Better late than never. Now kiss me, Walker,” she ordered, so I did.

Chapter Twenty

I tried not to do the jello-neck-head-bob during my required Sociology class, but it was proving dang near impossible. Who thought up these stupid curriculums anyway? There was a cute brunette sitting to my left who kept trying to catch my attention during the lecture, and I was doing my best to avoid eye contact with her.

My mom had been right. Being the quarterback at a big university made the girls come crawling out of the woodwork. I remembered the days when I used to be nervous about asking girls on a date, and it made me chuckle. I had to practically beat them off with a stick now. The old me would’ve loved hanging and partying it up with a different girl every night, but that was before Nikki, and now Brittney. I was crazy about her, and no one else could compare.

Not that I was getting to spend any time with her. I was in these dumb classes all day, practice until after dark, then games on the weekends—which were away a lot, so I was traveling too. The only time we ever got to spend together was nights and Sundays. We fell asleep together almost every evening, piled under a mountain of homework we were trying to finish. I’d often come home from trips to find her curled up on my couch or bed with textbooks all over her. I’d carefully remove them so I wouldn’t wake her before lying down and wrapping my arms around her. I missed her.

There didn’t seem to be an end in sight, either. It was only October, and the season would run through January. We needed a break soon, and I’d begun to formulate a plan to surprise her with on Sunday.

I didn’t realize I’d dozed off until I heard the teacher call my name, and a bunch of the students snickered around me. I noticed the stern expression on her face as she stared at me over the top of her glasses.

“If you want to continue playing football, Mr. Walker, I suggest you start paying attention in class.” This was the second part of the problem—being the quarterback also meant all the teachers knew who I was too. They might not know who ninety-nine percent of the student body was, but people tended to remember the name of the kid whose face was on television and in the sports section of the newspaper frequently.

“Sorry Mrs. Miller,” I said politely, staring down at her from where I sat several rows up in the amphitheater styled seating. “It’s been a long week.”

“Well, it’s time to pull your priorities together.”

My priorities don’t include your class,
I thought. “Yes, ma’am.” I said what she wanted to hear so she’d get off my case.

“You don’t want to get behind anymore than you are. Otherwise you won’t be eligible to play. You might want to consider getting a tutor if you can’t keep up with things.” She returned her attention to the blackboard, and I had to bite my tongue to keep from blurting that my grade in her class was several points above eligibility range, despite the one assignment I’d neglected to turn in. I was pissed she’d singled me out to reprimand in front of the whole class.

“I’d be happy to help tutor you,” the brunette to my left whispered, and I had to acknowledge her.

“Thanks,” I said, smiling nicely. “I already have a tutor, though.”

“Oh.” She looked disappointed before she stopped to scribble something on a piece of paper and hand it to me. “Well, if it doesn’t work out, here’s my number. Feel free to give a call anytime.” She smiled widely, and I took it, reading what she’d written.

“Thanks again . . . Lexie,” I replied, glancing at her name. “Oh, I see you put your dorm room number here too.” Talk about obvious. I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes.

“Yeah.” She tossed her hair behind her shoulder, as she cast a seductive glance over me. “In case you want to . . . study at my place.”

“Super. You’re awesome. I’ll be sure to have my girlfriend file this for me.” I stared pointedly at her, and she had the decency to keep her mouth shut and turn away. The class time was up, saving me from any further awkward conversations, so I gathered my books and headed toward the door, depositing Lexie’s number in the wastepaper basket on the way past.

I checked my phone and saw I had a message from Brittney. I dialed my voicemail and listened.

“Hey,” Brett said joining me from his class down the hall. “Ready for lunch?”

“Yeah. We need to run to the store for Britt, though. She’s stuck at work and can’t take a break.”

“Let’s go then. We can pick up whatever she needs on the way.”

While I was thrilled to have a girlfriend who felt like she could talk to me about anything, I found myself very frustrated and amazed. I was confident no one would think I was standing in this section of the store for my own benefit, but I honestly would’ve given my right arm to be anywhere else in the world than here.

“Grab a box and let’s go,” Brett said, looking around nervously.

“Which one? There’s like a thousand of them.”

“I don’t know. Aren’t they all the same? Did she ask for something specific when she called?”

“No. She just said tampons. You’re her brother, dammit. Didn’t you pay attention to these kinds of things?”

“Oh, hell no. I’d rather pluck my own eyeballs out than be around a woman on her period.”

“What kind does Tana use?”

“Did you not hear my last statement?”

A woman pushed her cart between us and the massive wall of feminine hygiene products. She grabbed a box and placed it in her cart.

“Are those the good kind?” Brett blurted, and I elbowed him in the ribs, mortified.