Finding Eden (15 page)

I don't want to cause him
pain. In fact, I want to take it away, along with everything else. I
want to take away his pride, his anger, happiness, joy, love,
sadness, everything. I want him empty; devoid.

I walk to him, my long
dress trailing behind me. The color fades around the room slowly with
each step until I'm right in front of him.

“
You will say
you're sorry, now.”

“
No.”

My anger flares and I
watch as I strip him of his aura. The colors fading away until he's
empty. Dorian falls to his knees in front of me.

“
You do not want to
anger me any further,” I say, “or else I may not give
them back.”

I look down at him, the
smug look wiped from his face, his soul empty.

“
Do not test me,
you do not know what I am capable of. Now you
will
apologize for what you
said about my mother. You will never breathe a word of it again.
Understand?”

He blinks and doesn't
answer.

“
Understand?!”

“
Y‒yes,
milady,” he stumbles over himself, “I‒I'm sorry. I
will never say them again.”

“
Good,” I
say.

I turn my back to him,
not caring to watch him flee as I return his emotions to him. I start
to walk back to where Sahariel is standing when it feels like my
knees are about to give out. My vision starts to fade and I stop
walking. Before my vision fades completely, I find Sahariel and hope
he can read the expression on my face. As I faint I feel myself
falling. I feel the ground nearing me, like I'm falling in slow
motion, and there's nothing I can do. I can't catch myself.

I pair of arms are under
me then, catching me, keeping me safe from hitting the ground. I can
hear voices around me. They're worried, but all I concentrate on is
the feeling of the arms holding me. I wish I could tell them I was
fine, but my voice won't respond.

My eyes eventually open
and my view is crowded by many worried faces, but I only look at one.
I only look for one; Sahariel's.

His face is lined with
anxiety. He notices that my eyes are open, that I'm looking at him,
and the relief is plain on his face.

“
Are you okay?”
He asks, then more quietly, “Your heart?”

“
Yes,” I say,
“I'm fine. It's fine.”

I try to sit up and I get
a head rush. I fall back into his open arms.

“
Okay,” I
say, “maybe a little tired.”

“
Milady,” a
man comes up to me, and introduces himself as the court physician,
Damien, “I believe it would be best if you went to bed and
rested.”

Sahariel helps me sit up,
then stand up for make an announcement, “The queen is not
feeling well at the moment. I shall escort her to her chambers.”

He leans down and asks,
“Can you stand?”

“
I believe so,”
I say, “but I will need help getting there.”

Sahariel smiles and wraps
his arms around my waist. He stands up slowly, and stronger than any
human male, he pulls me up with him. He smiles at me as my feet touch
the ground.

“
Don't let go,”
I say.

“
I won't.”

“
Promise?”

“
Promise.”

Sahariel keeps his arm
securely wrapped around me and walks me out of the room, supporting
all of my weight.

“
What was that?”
I ask Sahariel after he's sufficiently tucked my into my new bed.

“
That,” he
says, “was you using your powers. You're strong, but you over
did it for your first time.”

He sits down next to me
and looks at me with sad eyes.

“
What were you
thinking?” He asks me.

“
I don't know,”
I look at my hands, “I guess I was mad. He was saying all of
those things about my mom, and I couldn't stand it. I was so angry
with him. I didn't know what else to do.”

“
Well, at least we
have one thing straightened out.”

“
What's that?”

“
There's no doubt
about your lineage.”

“
I don't get it.”

“
Only those with
royal blood can do what you just did.”

“
I don't know why
anyone else would want to, I feel totally drained.”

“
It's to be
expected.”

“
So will this
happen again?”

“
Not unless you do
it again.”

I playfully swat his arm,
the action making me more aware of how tired I am, and Sahariel can
tell. He grabs my hand before it can hit the bed and cradles it in
his own. I hadn't realized how cold my fingers are until now.

“
You're freezing,”
He says.

“
Only my hands,”
I say.

He picks up my other hand
and holds them both in his. He rubs his hands over mine to warm them.

“
Promise me you'll
be more careful next time.”

I look at him as he
places his lips to the tips of my fingers.

“
I just,” he
says, “I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you.”

He says the words with
such conviction that I can almost feel my heart break along with his.

“
Sahariel,” I
say.

He looks up at me.

“
I'm not going
anywhere anytime soon.”

“
Please,” he
says, “promise me?”

I sigh as I look at him.
One of his hands leaves mine and he traces the pale line of skin over
my heart.

“
Just promise me,
Eden.”

“
I promise.”

“
Thank you.”

“
Well,” I
say, “I don't know why you wanted me to. You're not rid of me
yet.”

He laughs softly and puts
my hands down now that they're warm.

“
Anyway,” he
says, “I should go and let you get some rest.”

He stands and walks to
the door. “A servant will come by every now and then to check
on you. If you need me, well, you know how to reach me.”

He looks back at me as he
opens the door and I smile. He smiles back then walks out of the
door, closing the door quietly behind himself. Even though it isn't
late, I close my eyes and fall asleep.

A loud clang noise
outside of my door wakes me the next day. I gather myself up and, my
curiosity getting the better of me, pad across the room and open the
door.

“
Oh, milady,”
a servant girl jumps back from the doorway, “I'm so sorry. I
hope I didn't disturb you.”

I just look at the girl
and see the candelabra at her feet. She looks really worried.

“
Don't worry about
it,” I say, “I shouldn't have slept so long anyway. It's
a good thing someone bothered to make some sort of noise or else I
would have been in bed for eternity.”

I smile at her and her
nervousness quickly melts away. She smiles back at me.

“
Thank you, your
highness,” she bows.

“
May I ask what
your name is?”

“
My name? It's
Lelaine, your majesty.”

“
It's nice to meet
you Lelaine.”

“
It was nice
meeting you as well, your majesty; I must get back to my duties. It
has been a pleasure.”

She smiles and bows to
me. I smile back. I walk to the door and pick up the candelabra and
hand it to her.

“
I hope we can talk
again. I enjoyed speaking with you.”

“
Thank you, your
majesty,” she says.

A few minutes after
Lelaine leaves, there's a light knock on my door. The pull tells me
it's Sahariel. I open the door and let him in.

“
Hey,” I say.

“
How are you
feeling today?”

“
Better now that
I've been able to rest.” I say, “What's on the agenda for
today? No more power hungry great-uncles I hope.”

“
No. We just have
to go to the library and look up correct protocol and your duties for
events and public activities.”

“
That sounds
extremely boring.”

“
Yeah, well,”
he says, “sometimes you have to do what you don't want to.”

“
Alright,” I
say, “let me go wash up and get dressed. I will be out in a
bit.”

“
I will wait for
you.”

I turn and walk into the
washroom and quickly undress. I try to wash as quickly as possible. I
feel like I lost the whole day. I feel like a bum. I jump out of the
tub, dry off and dress in the first thing that I can find. I walk
quickly to the door, passing a mirror on the way and finally see what
I put on. It's a simple pale gold and cream colored dress. I smile
with satisfaction, glad that I didn't put on some ungodly fancy
dress.

I walk out of the room
and Sahariel is waiting in the hallway.

“
You're forgetting
something.” He says.

“
I am?”

He holds up a finger as
if asking for a second. He walks into my room and then a few seconds
later comes back out. He has the crown in his hands.

“
I have to wear
that?” I ask, “Like, all the time?”

“
Well, you don't
have to, but it is encouraged.”

“
Fine, fine,”
I say, “at least my clothes aren't on backward or something
this time. That would be bad.”

“
And probably very
uncomfortable.”

“
Most likely.”

I take the crown from him
and place it gently on my head. I had forgotten how it felt to wear
it, even though I had worn the crown, my crown, only the day before.
It feels heavy.

“
Are you ready?”
Sahariel asks. I nod, “Alright, follow me.”

Sahariel and I walk to
the library together, and on the way people I have never met bow to
me, acknowledging me. I smile and nod at them in response. But I'm
not watching my feet, and despite my rise to queen-dom, my klutziness
still has the better of me and I find myself about to take a face
first dive into the floor.

“
Whoops,”
Sahariel catches me, “are you okay?”

He's caught my hand in
his and his arms are almost wrapped around me in protection.

“
I'm alright,”
I say. I regain my footing and I look up at him.

I had never really
noticed it before, but Sahariel and I touch a lot. Casual touches
here and there, and as I hold onto his hand I can't help but notice
how intimate the touch is.

He looks into my eyes and
doesn't move or let go of my hand. I can feel my sensitivity to him
grow stronger. I can smell him; a careful mix of musk and something
that can only be described as the forest. I can feel his heartbeat as
it quickens and I watch as his pupils dilate and his eyes widen in a
mixture of awe and another emotion I can't quite figure out. Fire
burns through my mind fields, energizing the soil, and the brain lady
begins sewing hope. But as quickly as it happens, though, Sahariel
lets go of my hand, breaking part of the strong connection.

Sahariel looks around, as
if trying to look everywhere except at me. He sees a door at the end
of the hallway and motions for me to follow him.

“
Ladies first,”
he says.

We walk into the library
and I'm relieved to find it deserted. Not even the bookkeeper is
there to see me. I take a deep breath and we walk into the depths of
the library.

Strongly aware of his
presence, Sahariel and I thumb over books trying to find something
that looks like a basic code of conduct book. Looking over a shelf, I
find an old leather bound book.