Finding Eden (22 page)

“This isn’t how it was supposed to happen,” Danny said sullenly. “It feels unfair. Why can’t he be normal?”

Danny knew it was the wrong thing to say because he saw the way Jason stiffened in insult. He opened his mouth to apologize, but nothing came out.

“Do Paul a favor, give him to someone who appreciates him,” Jason snapped, his entire body tense in anger. “I’ve spent a year being jealous as hell of him because he can get any Domme he wants, but for some reason he’s stuck on
you
, a spoiled, selfish brat who’s too busy judging him to stop and realize he wouldn’t have him at all if he were
normal
.

“I’m telling you that I’ll introduce you to one of the most influential Dommes in the country. I’m willing to speak for you, to beg for you to have a chance to train with her, and you don’t want to do it because you’re too proud, because it’s too hard, because you’ve got some sort of issue with dominant women? Here’s a tip, Danny, life isn’t easy. Be a man, stop crying about what should have been. Appreciate what you have and take care of what’s yours. If you’re not willing to do that then you don’t deserve him.”

Danny stared at Jason, not knowing quite how to respond to that, so he finally admitted, “I’m not good at asking for help. It’s just not in me.”

“When you figure out Paul’s more important than your pride,” Jason said as he flicked his cigarette into the lake, “you call me and I’ll help you. Until then, try not to kill him.”

Danny stood on the dock, watching Jason stomp off. He wanted to call out to him, to apologize, to explain himself better, to say something to stop the sinking feeling of disappointment that settled in his stomach. But he didn’t say anything. He just stared at the headlights from Jason’s car until they drifted down the street and then disappeared from sight.

Still feeling defeated, Danny flicked his cigarette into the lake as Jason had. He was just getting up the energy to go back inside and face everyone when the front door opened.

“I told the girls they could sleep in your bed,” Paul said, leaning against the screen door. “You could sleep with them. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“Nah.” Danny shook his head at that idea as he lifted his eyes to Paul, admiring the way he looked in the moonlight. “I don’t wanna sleep with them. I wanna sleep with you.”

“You’ve only got the one bed. We don’t even have sleeping bags to lay out in one of the other bedrooms,” Paul said, seeming to consider the problem. “I suppose you could sleep on the couch and I could sleep on the floor.”

Danny rolled his eyes. “You’re not sleeping on the floor.”

“I don’t mind.” Paul grinned, his eyes alight with mischief. “Sorta sexy.”

Danny laughed, not finding the truth in Paul’s words nearly as shocking as he should. “Come here.”

Paul hesitated by the door, looking back inside the house. “They
just
went to bed. They’re not asleep.”

“I said, come here,” Danny snapped, his eyes narrowed at Paul, who pushed away from the door and walked to Danny without argument. When he was close enough, Danny reached out, fisting a hand in Paul’s football jersey and jerking him forward. “I don’t like asking for things twice.”

“I’m sorry,” Paul rasped, his voice already soft. His eyes closed as he took a steadying breath. “I didn’t know we were playing. We need to work out a warning, a clue for me.”

“Assume we’re always playing.” Danny caressed his face, lifting Paul’s chin when he lowered his gaze as if programmed to do so whenever they were together like this. When Paul opened his eyes, Danny said, “Do you trust me to protect you?”

“Yes,” Paul said quickly. “Always.”

Danny wasn’t sure how well-placed that trust was. He was warmed by it nonetheless as he let his hand run down the line of Paul’s neck, loving the way his body tensed, his breathing falling shallow in excitement.

“They already know, so stop worrying about what Denise and Melissa see.”

Paul winced, temporarily snapping out of his sexual spell. “God, I’m so stupid. It just slipped out.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Danny went on, his hand sliding to the back of Paul’s neck. “They aren’t gonna rat you out. Denise is probably doing the same thing I’m about to be doing.”

“What’s that?”

Danny leaned down until they were sharing the same air and breathed against Paul’s lips. “Fucking my best friend.”

The kiss was hard, claiming, and they were both lost to it. Danny swallowed Paul’s groan, thrusting his tongue into his mouth as his fingers tightened in coarse, honey-blond hair. He felt himself falling, imagining this was what a drug addict felt like. Wrong or not, the high was so fucking good he didn’t even try to resist when it was within his grasp. He reached down with his other hand, cupping Paul’s hard cock through his jeans. He palmed it, loving how Paul shuddered, and then found his balls, squeezing them in a way that would send another man to his knees.

Paul bowed into Danny, breaking the kiss to gasp, “God, please.”

“Please what?” Danny asked, his hold on Paul’s hair and balls still steely and unforgiving. “Tell me what you’re begging for, you worthless slut. Lemme hear it.”

Paul actually went weak in his arms, clinging to Danny’s shoulders as he pleaded, “Hurt me. Please hurt me, Danny Boy, I need it.”

Danny didn’t even stop to consider the ramifications, just tugged at Paul’s jersey, pulling it over his head. He tossed it on the dock carelessly, admiring Paul’s powerful chest and arms, feeling himself fall deeper. “Take off your pants.”

Paul pulled away, nearly breaking the button on his jeans with how fast he pulled it open. “Do my back?” He pushed his jeans and underwear past his hips, having obviously gotten over his fear of being discovered as he stood wearing only moonlight on the dock. He kicked the jeans aside. “Please.”

“I wanna let your back heal more.” Danny smiled to himself, thinking Jason was wrong. He could handle this. He undid his belt, pulling it out of his jeans slowly. “You know where I’m gonna hurt you, Paul Guy.”

Paul took a shuddering breath, watching Danny with hungry eyes, his chest rising and falling with excitement. When Danny had it free from his jeans, Paul finally looked away, a flush coloring his cheeks. “Can we do it somewhere else?”

“You don’t like it there?” Danny asked, his voice taunting as he ran the belt though his hand. “You feel degraded?”

Paul lowered his head, the war of emotions obvious as he whispered a soft, “Yes.”

“I’m sorry if you think you get to have an opinion,” Danny said, taking a step closer to Paul, savoring the way he tensed. “But I kinda like the idea of you being degraded. I like the idea of you leaning over that railing, getting your ass whipped and worrying about one of the girls coming out and finding out you’re a slut.”

Paul lifted his eyes to stare at Danny, the glaze of submission and stunned lust was obvious. “I kinda like that idea too,” he admitted, as if it were a great secret.

“I know who you are.” Danny reached out, cupping the back of Paul’s neck, forcing him to keep their gazes locked. “I know you’re a dirty slut and it’s okay. Ask me why it’s okay.”

Paul took a shuddering breath, his entire body tense with sexual tension. “W-Why is it okay?”

“’Cause you’re
my
slut,” Danny said, gesturing to the railing. “Now if I tell you I want you bent over that railing,
you do it
, and you be fucking happy about it because it’s what I want.”

God, Danny would never admit it to anyone, but the rush was phenomenal. He felt powerful. The adrenaline sizzled through every cell in his body as he watched Paul do as he was told, leaning over the railing.

Paul rested his forehead against his biceps, his breathing still harsh as he widened his stance. Danny eyed his ass, bruised and welted, sporting several wounds just working on healing, because this wasn’t the first time they’d done this. Danny had hurt him every night since that day in the shower when he’d discovered just how hot the pain trip could be. He tried not to look at his back, and tried even harder not to notice Paul’s ass and thighs were starting to match it. If he put the connection together, in this mindset, it’d make his back open season. There was a part of him that wanted to rip it open, to destroy the reminder of what happened by leaving his own mark.

“Did you feel me all day?” Danny asked, knowing he was in his own headspace, one that was dark, dangerous and spectacular because of it. “Every time you sat, were you reminded of how good it feels to hurt for me? To be open and bare and humiliated because you deserve it.”

“God, yes.” Paul’s hips thrust forward as he fucked the air. He fisted a hand in his own hair, pushing his forehead harder against his arm as he groaned. “Fuck, I think I’m gonna come before we even start.”

“You do that and you do
not
wanna know what will happen,” Danny promised, lashing out with his belt, loving the snap of it connecting with Paul’s muscular ass. “When are you allowed to come?”

“Only when you tell me!” Paul cried out, then bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. When Danny hit him again, a sob of pleasure burst out of him. “I’ll only come when you tell me,” he repeated, making it obvious he was reminding himself. Danny hit him again, using the buckle end of the belt, cutting into him, and Paul’s hips jerked forward. “Fuck!”

Danny started hurting him in earnest then, wanting to cut into him, desperate to leave his mark. He hit Paul until he bled. His fingers itched to work on his back too, but he laid into his thighs instead. Paul fell silent, but his breathing was still raspy, his hips jerking forward with every biting strike, looking for something to relieve the sexual tension.

The two of them found a strange place between heaven and hell, one that scared the shit out of Danny most of the time. If he was by himself it would be easy to deny, but for Paul, he found himself not only willing but desperate to embrace the forbidden. Danny had surrendered, embracing the odd freedom of defeat. Rather than fight it, he now fed the fire until he was so blinded he wouldn’t have to think about repercussions. All he wanted to do right then was feel. He savored the rush, clinging to it longer than he should.

Paul tilted his face, his cheek now resting softly on his arm. He went from pulling his own hair to running his fingers through it softly in an odd self-soothing technique that spoke of someone who, deep down, wanted to know what it felt like not to flinch away from a gentle touch. When Danny tilted his head to look, he saw Paul’s features had become calm and serene with a high that was the exact opposite of Danny’s and compelling because of it. The signs were there that Danny was going too far, but none of them were the catalyst that had him discarding his belt. It was Danny’s cock that stopped him, the rush that pulsed and throbbed until it was impossible to deny.

He wanted to fuck.

Danny went to Paul, pushing his hand aside to do the petting, running his fingers gently through Paul’s sweaty hair. Danny pressed against him, careless of Paul’s back and injured ass, just enjoying being close to his best friend. This pushed Danny more than the high, the discovery that pain killed the demons of Paul’s past long enough for Danny to be able to really love him.

“Thank you,” Paul said softly, tilting his head to look up at Danny. “I love you.”

With fingers still soft in Paul’s hair, Danny leaned down, whispering against the curve of his neck. “I love you too.”

His other hand ran over the ridges of Paul’s stomach muscles, savoring the way they clenched under his fingers. Danny wanted to drown in him, the feel of Paul’s body against his, the smell of sweat and soap, the sound of his low voice as Paul pleaded, “Please.”

Danny unzipped his jeans, pulling out his dick, and then remembered what he forgot most of the time when it came to Paul. He reached into his back pocket for his wallet then fished for a condom. He tore it open, tossing not only the wrapper to the deck, but his wallet as well. Right then, he couldn’t have cared less if it slipped through the cracks and ended up food for the fishes.

He saw only Paul and fell to his knees behind him. When Paul made a move to turn around, Danny grabbed his hip, holding him in place. “Stay.”

Paul did as told, leaning against the railing as Danny fell back on his haunches and rolled the condom on with only moonlight for guidance. Once he got it on, he pulled at the tip, testing it.

“Please, Danny Boy,” Paul pleaded once more. “I’m dying.”

“Well, we don’t want that.” Danny reached out, running a hand over one bruised and swollen ass cheek. Then he touched a nasty cut on Paul’s upper thigh, one of many Danny had caused. He had literally surrendered his humanity to get to this place where his best friend belonged to him, body and soul. He needed to say it again, for himself more than Paul. “I really do love you.”

“Mmm,” Paul hummed in response, pushing his ass into Danny’s hands, making it obvious he wanted more.

Danny gave him what he was searching for, spreading his damaged cheeks to lean forward and lick at his hole. Paul rocked back against him as low, growling sounds of pleasure burst out of him.

“Fuck me,” Paul gasped. “Please.”

“I don’t have lube out here,” Danny whispered against him. “Just be patient. Give me a little bit to prepare you.”

“I’m sorry,” Paul groaned, leaning heavily against the railing. “I just need you.”

Danny ignored him, going to town on his ass, pushing his tongue into his hole between licks to help loosen it. He waited until Paul opened to him, spreading his legs to get more of what Danny was giving. Only then did he suck on two of his fingers, being sure to get them wet with spit.

He worked one, then two fingers in while Paul panted, leaning farther over the railing, pushing his ass back against the thrust of Danny’s fingers. Obviously impatient with Danny’s determination to be a responsible top, Paul reached down and stroked his dick, as if desperate for relief.

“Not yet.” Danny reached around to grab Paul’s wrist and remind him. “We’re gonna do it together.”

Paul hung his head. “I’m sorry.”

Danny spit on his fingers then fucked Paul with them, deliberately working them over his prostate.