Finding Forever (29 page)

“No you don’t. Just say what’s on your mind, you don’t need a minute for that.”

“But, I—”

He shook his head. “But
nothing.
Just tell me the truth, right now. You don’t have to rehearse it, it doesn’t have to be eloquent… I want the damned
truth
. Can you give me that?”

No. I couldn’t. My brain wouldn’t work, and my mouth wouldn’t work, because he was mad at me, and I’d done exactly what I didn’t want to do, which was hurt him, and I… I couldn’t think. Therefore, I couldn’t respond, and no, I
couldn’t just tell him the truth.

Avery’s eyes were cold when he dropped my chin, looking away from me with what was, to me, barely constrained contempt. He didn’t say another word as he stalked back out with the same quiet anger he’d worn when he came in.

No.

I was after him, as fast as my feet would take me, through the door, across the porch, down the steps, and then… on the ground, after sliding in my bare feet in the pouring rain.

Gotta get up, gotta—

I hadn’t made the first step toward picking myself when I felt Avery’s arms under my shoulders, pulling me upright, and then at my back and behind my knees to pick me up, cradling me against his chest to carry inside. He sat me down on the island in my kitchen, then retrieved the towel I had thrown at him earlier, running it over my face and hair before draping it around me.

“Where’s your band-aids and stuff?”

Still voice-less, I pointed toward the last box I’d packed before going to bed, and he pulled out the first aid kit, placing it on the counter beside me as he went to work on my knee. I couldn’t muster enough shame to be embarrassed by how I must look, with my soggy tee shirt sticking to my body, and my hair plastered to my head, but I could
certainly
find the lechery to be turned on by the sight of Avery with
his
soaked tee shirt clinging to the ridges of his abs as he carefully cleaned and bandaged my scraped knee.

“Why the hell did you come running outside like that without any shoes on? You’re lucky this was just your knee, you could have broken a wrist or something with the way you fell.”

I shrugged. “I didn’t want you to leave like that.”

“Well, until you came sprinting into the rain like a crazy person, you could have fooled me.” He secured the bandage with one last piece of tape, then sighed as if he was relieved to be done.

“Thank you,” I said, looking up to try to meet his eyes. It came out of nowhere, and certainly didn’t seem like enough, even though only a complete asshole would have left me outside. But he could have left, just deposited me back at my doorstep and gotten the hell away, so maybe
that’s
what I was thanking him for. For not leaving me.

He shrugged it off though. “It’s just a scrape.”

I shook my head. “It’s not
just a scrape
.”

“Tori, it’s—”

“
Listen
to me. It’s
not.
”

How did I get him to understand — without seeming like a complete lunatic— that it wasn’t about my knee, and what he was fixing for me was more than
just a scrape
?

Tentatively, I cupped Avery’s chin. He shied away at first, looking annoyed, but I insisted, scooted forward on the counter until my body was pressed right up against his. He wouldn’t look at me, but I kissed him anyway. Softly at first, barely brushing my lips against his as I wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him closer, then pressing harder, until
finally
he responded in kind.

“I’m supposed to be pissed at you,” he said against my neck as he nipped my skin. “What are you doing to me?”

“Trying to show you what I feel.” Then, I was pulling the dripping tee shirt over his head, and attacking the buckles, and buttons, and zippers, and whatever else was keeping him from being inside of me. I lifted my hips so he could pull my panties down over my legs, then closed my eyes, nestling my head against his neck as he entered me. When he remained still, I opened my eyes and looked up, meeting his.

“You still haven’t answered my question.”

I raised an eyebrow, whimpering as he moved, to thrust deeper. “Question?”

He lowered his mouth to kiss me, hooking his elbow under my knee for more open access as he began to stroke, long, slow,
deep
strokes that made me gasp at the end of each one. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you? About wha— Ah!” My eyes rolled back as he buried himself completely. I squirmed against the fullness and pressure, but he held me tight, covering my mouth with another hungry kiss.

He gently suckled my bottom lip, nipping it between his teeth before he looked me right in my eyes, and said “Science and algorithms.”

Oh. Yeah.

Between quick, panting breaths, I managed to blurt out “Self preservation.”

Avery stared at me for a long moment, without moving, and then he was stroking me again, a faster rhythm that had me digging my nails into his back as our skin slapped together. Without breaking his rhythm, he peeled my shirt over my head and tossed it away. He lowered my leg so he could get closer to me, kissing me, and wrapping me in his arms as he kept pushing me higher, and higher, and
higher
and deeper, and further, and then higher again, until my legs were trembling so hard he had to hold them up for me, and
still
he kept going.

And I gave it back. As much as I could, I met him stroke for stroke, rolling my hips, clenching around him, whatever I could to let him know that as present as he was, I was there too. Just as good as it was for him, it was for me too. Just as much as he…
whatever
ed me, I
whatever
ed him too. He pushed me away, telling me to lie back on the counter, and I did, because he asked, and suddenly,
somehow
, he was deeper, and I couldn’t think, or breathe, or tell him I couldn’t think or breathe. Somehow, he knew I needed to be in his arms, so he pulled me up, holding me tight as I just… dissolved. I felt his body go tense with release a few moments later, and we stay there on the counter, connected to each other until we regained the use of our limbs.

I was still holding on to him when he placed a finger under my chin to lift my head so he could kiss me. “Tori… I—”

“Uh-uh.” I shook my head to stop him. “Me too, but don’t…”

He chuckled a little at me, but gave me a slight nod of his head to show me he understood before he carried me into my bedroom, where we rediscovered each other, wordlessly, a few more times.

A while later, as the first rays of sun began peeking through the windows, I untangled myself from his arms so I could turn to face him on the bed. “We’re gonna end up with a baby if we keep at it like this,” I joked, kissing him on the forehead as he pretended to sleep.

With his eyes still closed, he palmed my butt. “Is that what I have to do to keep you from running away from me again? Get you pregnant? Cause if so, I’m cool with a few babies.”

I laughed for a moment, then sobered as I remembered that there were… certain complications to that. “So… I guess I
am
a home wrecker,” I said aloud, running my fingers along his bicep.

Looks like we both conveniently forgot about that.

He drug an eyelid open to look at me. “What are you talking about?” he mumbled.

“Maya,” I said, dropping my eyes to the sheets as I traced a pattern with my fingers. I don’t think your girlfriend would appreciate this.”

He shrugged, then opened his other eye. “I don’t have a girlfriend.”

Huh?

I jerked my head up to meet his eyes as he sat up. “What do you mean you don’t have a girlfriend?”

“I mean exactly what I said,” he replied, his abs rippling as he stretched. I wasn’t surprised this time when my nipples hardened in reaction to him. “Maya and I… are no more.”

“What happened?”

“Well it was already heading downhill, but she overheard me and Nick talking about you, and decided to turn it into worst case scenario.”

I lifted an eyebrow. “So she
did
think you were cheating. Mel and I saw her one day, and she told me she thought you were giving her gifts and things to cover up.”

“I
wasn’t
. I was just… trying to be good to her. Then when I
did
do something — kissing you— I found out she was sleeping with one of her employees, and it was … it was done.” He shook his head, then raised his fingers to massage his temples.

My heart pounded so hard in my chest I was certain it was about to burst out. What happened next? What should I do, now that this was actually happening? Even now that my mind was clearer, and the only emotions I was managing were my own, I was still scared. I was still
scarred
, and that was something I couldn’t rationalize away… but then again, neither was the flame of passion and emotion I’d felt when Avery walked through my door, nor the terror I’d felt when he walked
out.

We watched each other, not saying anything, and I wondered if he was feeling the same thing I was — scared and confused, but happy.

“What are you smiling about over there?” he asked, suddenly pushing me onto my back and covering my body with his.

I turned my smile on
him
, gazing up into his eyes. “This,” I said truthfully. “Whatever it is. I like how I feel when I’m around you.”

“You tryna make me blush?”

“No,” I giggled. “I’m serious. I’m also seriously scared, if that helps keeps you from blushing.”

“Okay, so talk to me about it. What’s going on?”

“I don’t know… I guess I’m wondering where we go from here. I mean, I’m willing to give it a chance, but still. I’m… afraid.”

“That’s why you didn’t tell me we were a match? Cause you were scared?”

I looked up at him as I nodded. “I told you about the last time I matched myself with a client. That was
awful
, and I was scared it would happen again. Especially when I felt
so
strongly about you. I didn’t want to take a risk of trying it again, only to have it still not work. Hell, I’ve got that same fear now.”

“Tori, slow down,” Avery said, placing a kiss against my temple. “It’s ok to focus on the moment, at least for now.” He flipped us over, so that he was on his back with me straddling his lap. “Tori, I’m crazy about you. It’s okay to be scared, you think I’m not? But what I’m not gonna do is let it paralyze me, and you shouldn’t either.”

I closed my eyes as I lowered my mouth to kiss him. “So what do you think we should do? What
are
we doing?”

“We don’t have to make any big declarations about anything right now. I’m not trying to force you to be ready for something that you’re not, so let’s just … take it slow. What I
can
do is you give you my best, one day at a time. It’s probably not gonna always be perfect, but if we can turn a day at a time into a week at a time, then two weeks, then a month, then six, then a year… who knows what could happen?”

“Where the hell did you come from? Why are you so perfect?” I asked, cupping his face in my hands.

“I’m not,” he laughed. “Far from it. But
you
, on the other hand…”

I grinned, shaking my head. “Oh please. I’m way too irrational to be perfect. Chasing you outside half naked in the rain, remember?”

“Don’t remind me. You scared the shit out of me. I thought you were really hurt.”

“I
was
.”

Avery stared at me for a moment, then extended his arms, gesturing toward me. “Come here.” I lowered myself into his arms, snuggling against his chest. “I still can’t say it?” I felt the laughter building in his chest as I shook my head. “But you
know
it, right?”

I lifted my head to smile at him. “I do. And like I said, me too… I just think we should give it a little time first before we
say
it. No pressure, okay? Let’s just be Avery and Tori.”

Neither of us had the answers, not really, but I couldn’t choose a better companion for the journey of finding forever. We could figure out the rest along the way.

— the end —

—
A word from the author –

I hope you enjoyed Tori and Avery’s story.

I would love you know what you thought! You can share with me by leaving a review, visiting me at my website
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Other Titles By Christina Jones:

Love and Other Things

Strictly Professional

Unfinished Business

The Trouble With Love

Coming Soon:

Catch Me if You Can

&

The sequel to
Love and Other Things
:
Nothing But Love