Finding Forever (36 page)

She had already completed the first six hours of her daily “rejuvenation regimen.” She had woken, eaten her egg whites with avocado, and washed down her pack of vitamins and herbal pills with freshly squeezed orange juice from the grove on the Kensington grounds. She had applied her sunscreen before doing yoga, meditation, and breathing exercises. After an hour-long Delete Session with Helper Lily (in which Lily encouraged Taylor to “delete” the trauma of her father's death from her mind), she had gone to the study room to read twenty pages of her Program assignment,
Peter Pan
. However, Taylor hardly considered a childish fairy tale about a bunch of kids who didn't want to grow up the stuff of rejuvenation and recovery world-changing power.

Pebbles rustled on the garden path behind her. Taylor spun around to see a stunningly handsome guy walking toward her, with broad shoulders that tapered down to a narrow waist.

“Evan!” she squealed, running up to him and hugging him tightly.

She hadn't seen Evan Ryan in almost a month, when they had both attended a marketing meeting for the movie they had shot earlier in the year. He had appeared far more reserved than normal, and there had not been a smile to be seen on his normally grinning face. His publicist did most of the talking that day, with Evan speaking only a few times in what was almost a robotic mumble.

“How'd you find me?” she asked.

Evan gripped her shoulders. “Dr. Kensington invited me. He said he had a plan for us.”

She leaned closer. “So you've met Peter?”

He looked nervously over his shoulder. “Yeah, Taylor. I know him well. He's my doctor.”

“So what's his deal? Is he a legit doctor?”

“He's trying to help you. Like he helped me. And many others like us.”

“So
this
is where you went away to rehab.”

“Yes, but as you've probably come to realize, it's more like a school for living a healthy life than rehab. Honestly, Taylor, Dr. Kensington has not only saved my life, he is prolonging it.”

Taylor studied Evan's face, noticing that as his mouth moved, the muscles around it stayed still, rendering him virtually expressionless. He seemed like a shell of the guy she had worked with. His entire demeanor resembled that of George and the other Kensington staffers.

“I don't understand, Evan. You seemed perfectly fine before you came here. No offense, but you've changed and you seem like you're stoned. Or brainwashed.”

“I'm an actor, you must remember,” he replied. “And trust me, I was hiding a lot—not just from you, but from a lot of people, including myself. This is who I am, this is my human potential realized. The person you knew before the Program
was destined for a short, unhappy life. Dr. Kensington has unlocked the secret.”

Taylor shook him by the shoulders. “Evan. What the hell are you talking about?”

“Secrets. I kept dark secrets. Even from myself. And I learned that these secrets can kill you if you don't deal with them—if you don't share them.”

“Evan, everyone keeps secrets. As a matter of fact, Dr. Kensington insists that I can't tell anyone I've been treated here. You call that treatment? I call that hypocrisy—and lunacy.”

“Some secrets are dark. They eat at you a little bit, a day at a time. They create stress, anxiety, fears. All this pressure can take years off your life. The Program gives you a safe place to share everything, to bring you into the moment and onto the Path. Our practice is a secret worth keeping.”

Taylor stared into his vacant eyes. She wanted to knock some sense of reality into him. But the rehearsed way he talked made her worry that he no longer was on her side. Convincing him to change his mind was futile.

Just act.

“You called it a path,” she said. “To where?”

“The path to Forever Land.”

“Huh?”

“He hasn't told you about Forever Land?”

“No. What are you talking about, Ev?”

“Here's the deal,” he whispered. “If you successfully complete the Program, then he lets you into Forever Land.”

“So is that where you have been?”

Evan laughed. “It's not a place; it's a state of being.”

“OK, fine. So have you been there?”

“Not yet. I have just one more project to complete. Some video project. But I'm the first recruit.” He lifted his left pant leg and revealed a black tattoo on his back ankle:

∞

1

He rubbed his fingers over it. “Infinity. Forever.”

“And I'm the second?” She turned to show him her matching infinity tattoo:

∞

2

“Yes, and when we pass all our tests, we get into Forever Land for life.”

Taylor reached up to tug at her hair in frustration. When her fingertips slid off her bare head, she remembered none existed.

“So tell me, what happens in this place that is not an actual place?” she asked. “What can you do there that you can't do anywhere else?”

“From what I've been told by everyone here, it's a place where you never have to grow up, where you never get old, where things like disease and death are the exception rather than the rule. It's a place where you can stay forever fifteen.”

“Sounds like someone has a
Peter Pan
obsession and has taken it way too far.”

“It's more than that.”

“C'mon, why would someone want to stay fifteen forever? There's the acne, for starters. And maybe it's not a problem for you, but my hormones can make me act like a crazy person. I'm fine with leaving fifteen behind.” Taylor fashioned finger quotes, adding, “Forever.”

“I don't think he means you literally stay fifteen, but rather you retain all the benefits of being young,” Evan said.

Taylor shook her head. “Sorry. I
want
to grow up. I'm looking forward to growing old and wrinkly and wise. I want to have my body change, my hips grow wider, the lines in my face deepen. I want to feel the aches of being old because that means I've lived, that I have experienced things that other
people, younger people, have not. Aging is part of nature. Things grow old and die; new things are then born and go through the whole cycle again. We learned all about this basic biology stuff in third grade, Evan. I don't think it's smart to mess with nature. People once thought fossil fuels were totally awesome and harmless, but now they're destroying our planet.”

“That's different,” Evan shot back. “Those fifteen rules are actually good for you. They're not going to kill you.”

“Yeah? Do you even know what's in those IV bags they're pumping into us?”

“Yeah. Vitamins, nutrients.”

“That's what they claim, but you don't really know, do you?”

Evan shook his head.

“And those injections, Evan. They
can
kill you.”

“Well, I've never felt more energized, clean, and pure. And by the way, Vitamin B-12 can't kill you, Taylor.”

“Those aren't vitamins in those vials.”

“How do you know that?”

“It's human growth hormone,” Taylor said quietly. “I saw it was HGH on one of the nurse's bottles. I've heard this stuff can give people tumors, heart problems, stuff like that. It's dangerous. Peter has lied to us. God knows what other lies he's telling us that we haven't found out yet.”

Evan's eyes narrowed. Taylor sensed for the first time that she had possibly broken through his brainwashed barrier.

“Peter talks about this all being a fountain of youth,” she continued. “But there's no such thing. Do you remember learning about Ponce de León?”

“Of course. The explorer?”

“Yeah, he sailed from Europe to Florida in search of the so-called ‘Fountain of Youth.' The Native Americans had told him about a magical fountain where people could have their youth restored after drinking or bathing in its waters. But you know
what? He never found it! No one did back then—or ever since. That's because there is
no such thing
as the Fountain of Youth. And I highly doubt if there was one, it would be found here in the middle of the bum-sucking desert!”

“Dr. Kensington is just trying to help us. He cares. He warned me you have been resisting the Program, that you were still carrying around traumas and in denial about your issues. Now I can see for myself that this is the case.”

Taylor grabbed Evan by the arm. “You're not going to tell him anything I just said, are you?”

Evan shoved her hand back at her. “Rule number eight: ‘I will delete my traumas with Staff and never lie to Staff.'”