Finding Forgiveness (Finding Series, Book 4) (6 page)

Roman got into his car and followed him. The house Hunter pulled up to was a stately white colonial with a white picket fence surrounding the large property. It looked very out of place on the quiet street that was lined with older ranch and cape cod style homes. Hunter left his car parked in the driveway and disappeared into a side door. By the time Roman got inside, he didn’t see any sign of Hunter and a quick search of the house showed that Hunter’s parents weren’t at home. He found what he could only assume was Hunter’s room if the trophies lined up on the dresser and the academic award certificates covering one wall were anything to go by. There was a twin bed in the center of the small room and a desk pushed up against the only window. Nothing about the room gave any additional insight into Hunter because there were no pictures or posters or knickknacks that he would have expected to find in someone’s childhood space.

Roman went to what he assumed was an attached bathroom and tried the door only to find it locked. He knocked and called Hunter’s name but there was no answer. A tremor of fear went through him as he knocked again.

“Hunter, can you open up please? I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

Silence.

Roman pounded on the door hard enough to make it rattle but Hunter didn’t respond in any way. So there was absolutely no hesitation on Roman’s part when he stepped back just enough so he could put his shoulder forward and throw his weight against the door. It gave on the first try and just as it flew open, he heard a rattle as something hit the floor and his eyes immediately went to a spoon laying on the tile floor between Hunter’s feet. Hunter was sitting on the edge of the bathtub and was busily jerking his shirt sleeve down as he tried to palm the lighter that was in his left hand.

Rage tore through Roman as he yanked Hunter to his feet and pushed him against the wall by the door.

“Where is it?”

Hunter opened his mouth to say something but when nothing came out, Roman lost it and began searching the bathroom. He snatched the spoon off the floor and then ripped the lighter that Hunter was still trying to hide from his hand.

“What is it? Meth? Heroin? You think that shit is going to fix you? To make you not want dick anymore?” Roman snarled as he flung the spoon and lighter into the sink. “You think shooting up’s going to make whatever the hell just happened out there go away?”

“I’m not an addict,” Hunter whispered feebly.

Roman knew he was just as close to losing it at as the cop who’d lashed out at Hunter. Grabbing Hunter’s left arm, he yanked it forward and reached for the sleeve.

“No!” Hunter suddenly screamed and began fighting him.

“Not an addict, huh?” Roman snapped as he pinned Hunter with his body and forced the sleeve up.

“No, Roman, don’t! Please don’t!”

But Roman ignored Hunter’s desperate pleas and the tears that were now flowing freely down his face and pushed the sleeve up past the elbow. His eyes began searching for the track marks he knew were there but he froze at what he found instead. Round red marks, at least a dozen of them, littered the inside of Hunter’s forearm. Some of the injuries looked fresher than the others and from the different severity levels of the scarring, some were older and had likely been severe at some point.

“What is this?” Roman asked in confusion as he turned Hunter’s arm over and saw even more scars on his outer arm.

When he looked up, he saw that Hunter had closed his eyes at some point but tears were still streaking down his skin. Hoarse, choking sobs were rattling deep in his throat.

Roman turned to examine the injuries again and then felt a chill go through him as he started to see the shape of each wound. He shook his head in disbelief as he finally began to understand what he was looking at. It was so unbelievable that he found himself searching out the discarded spoon. The fact that the metal was still warm to the touch should have been answer enough but he took the spoon and held it just above the freshest looking injury that was just now starting to blister. Horror went through him as the outline of the spoon matched up to the injury and in his shock, he dropped the spoon.

“Oh God,” he whispered and as soon as he did, a mournful cry left Hunter’s lips and he pulled his arm free of Roman’s now lax grip and then slowly sank to the floor. Hunter crossed his arms over the top of his head, his forearms hiding his face from view. His sleeve was still pushed up and Roman fleetingly wondered if Hunter had inflicted the same kind of injuries on his other arm.

Roman backed up until he hit the sink. “Why?” he stuttered as took in the sight of Hunter folded in on himself. “Why would you do this?”

Hunter didn’t answer him, didn’t even look at him. Instead he lurched to his feet and rushed out of the bathroom. Roman hurried after him and managed to catch up to him just as Hunter was opening his car door. Sobs were still erupting from his throat and he began fighting Roman the second he touched him.

“Don’t!” Hunter screamed. “Don’t touch me!”

The young man’s pain was so palpable that Roman felt tears filling his own eyes.

“Hunter, please,” he whispered brokenly as he wrapped his arms around the younger man. He could feel Hunter frantically trying to push him away but after several long seconds, Hunter’s whole body gave out and he buried his face against Roman’s neck. Roman could feel hot tears sliding down his throat.

“I’ve got you,” he murmured against Hunter’s head. “I’m here, okay?”

Hunter didn’t answer him but he did feel Hunter’s arms finally close around him. He had no idea how long they stood there for but when Hunter’s crying finally slowed, Roman leaned down and put his lips against Hunter’s ear.

“Come with me, okay?”

Hunter nodded against his chest and wiped at his face when he finally pulled back. The young man was a complete mess and blood continued to drip from the wound on his cheek. Hunter pulled his sleeve down to cover the burns and then swiped his arm over his face again, smearing the blood in the process. Roman took his hand and led him to his rental and got him settled in the passenger seat. As he walked around the car to the driver’s side, his mind began firing through his options. The clear solution was to take Hunter to a hospital where they’d have experts who could help him deal with his obviously scarred psyche but even the thought of Hunter locked away in some psych ward had him mentally shaking his head. No way. He just couldn’t do it.

Roman settled into the driver’s seat and cast a look at Hunter who sat quietly in the passenger seat. He reached out and gently turned Hunter’s face so he could see his eyes. The pain was gone and so was Hunter. All that was left was the same shell of a young man he’d seen being brutalized on that fucking pool table less than forty-eight hours ago. And in that instant, Roman knew exactly what he needed to do.

Chapter Five

“Roman?”

Roman watched his brother’s face go from shocked to thrilled in the space of two seconds and then he was being dragged into Gray’s arms. Under any other circumstances, he would have extricated himself from his brother’s hold as quickly as possible but for some reason he didn’t want to think too much about, he wrapped his arms around Gray and held on as tightly as he could. He felt Gray stiffen slightly and then he was fiercely returning the embrace.

“I need your help,” Roman whispered.

Gray must have heard something in his voice because he put just enough distance between them to make sure their eyes met. “Anything,” he answered.

Relief flooded Roman as he nodded and then stepped back. Hunter was standing quietly at the bottom of the porch stairs, ignoring the large German Shepherd that had darted outside as soon as Gray had opened the door and was now eagerly sniffing Hunter’s lax hands. Roman went down the stairs and took Hunter’s hand. The contact seemed to snap Hunter out of his daze because his hand tightened around Roman’s when he looked up and saw Gray watching them both with concern.

Roman didn’t bother with introductions as he led Hunter inside.

“Everything okay?”

Roman looked up and saw Gray’s boyfriend, Luke Monroe, watching them from the entrance to the kitchen. His eyes swept over Hunter and then shot to Gray. He didn’t say anything as he disappeared towards the back hallway.

“Here,” Gray said as he motioned to the living room couch. By the time Roman got Hunter settled, Luke was back with a small black bag that looked like a shaving kit. He sat down on the coffee table so he was facing Hunter.

“Can I take a look?” Luke said gently to Hunter as he motioned to his face.

“Luke’s training to be a paramedic,” Gray said quietly.

Hunter nodded stiffly. His grip on Roman’s hand hadn’t eased at all and when Luke began cleaning the injury with some kind of antiseptic wipe, he flinched but remained quiet. Luke’s movements were quick and efficient as he added a couple of butterfly bandages to close the small gash.

As Luke started to clean up his supplies, Roman put out his hand to stop him and then forced Hunter to look at him. “We need to show him,” he said gently.

Agony filled Hunter’s eyes. “No, Roman, please…”

Roman ignored Luke and his brother and put his palm over Hunter’s uninjured cheek to hold him steady as he pinned him with his eyes. “You can trust them, I swear it. They won’t judge you.”

Hunter stared at him for a long time and then finally closed his eyes and gave a little nod. But when he made no move to pull up the sleeve on his left arm, Roman released his hand long enough so he could do it himself. To both Gray and Luke’s credit, neither man made a sound as the burn wounds were exposed. Luke took Hunter’s arm in his hands so he could get a closer look and then said to Gray, “Can you get me a washcloth – run it under cool water?”

Gray nodded and left the room. He was back within a minute. Luke took the washcloth and pressed it over the freshest wound. Roman could tell that the blister had broken at some point, likely during his tussle with Hunter.

“I’m going to put some antibiotic cream on this and wrap it for now so it doesn’t get infected but you’ll want to let the air get at it a little later, okay?”

Hunter managed a nod.

Roman looked up to find Gray and saw his brother watching him with concern. “Do you have a place he can lay down for a bit?”

“Yeah, sure.”

As soon as Luke was done bandaging Hunter’s arm, Roman helped Hunter to his feet and led him to the guest room that Gray showed them to. Gray left them alone as Roman pulled back the covers and sat Hunter down on the bed and removed his shoes. “Just get some rest, okay?”

Hunter didn’t respond. He just rolled onto his side so that his back was to Roman. Roman covered him with the blanket and then started for the door. But he slowed his step and then went to the bathroom instead. He was glad when he came back out and saw that Hunter was still turned away from him because no way in hell did he want Hunter to see the things he was carrying in his arms.

***

He knew. Roman fucking knew.

Humiliation coursed through Hunter as he heard the bedroom door click shut. His body felt too hot so he pushed the blanket off and sat up. God, how had he let this happen? He’d always been so careful in the past but today it was like everything around him had been put on pause the second he’d recognized Finn Stewart. And as the man who’d been with Finn had descended on him, all Hunter could think was that he was finally going to get what he deserved…what he’d earned when he’d ruined Finn’s life eighteen months ago. But one punch hadn’t been enough – sure, it had hurt like hell but he’d wanted…needed more. Because the punishment he’d inflicted upon himself hadn’t been enough.

The whole thing had ended before it had really begun and instead of getting on his knees to beg Finn to forgive him or find a way to get the punishment he deserved, he’d run…again. Like the fucking coward he was. The darkness had begun to consume him before he even reached his car and it was only the familiar feel of his spoon and lighter in his pocket that made it possible for him to even get home. Relief, no matter how temporary it was, had been only minutes away as he entered his thankfully empty house. His whole body had danced with energy and need as he waited for the lighter to do its job and he held it in place longer than he usually did because he knew he was too far gone for anything but a major hit. There’d been no pleasure when he pressed the scalding metal to his skin…there never was. Pain had shot through his entire body a split second later and it wiped away every other emotion as if they’d never existed. It was like someone had hit reset on his life and for that brief moment he was the old Hunter Greene…the one whose cowardice had only ever hurt himself.

His moment of clarity had also allowed him to finally hear the pounding on the bathroom door but before he could even respond, it was crashing open and all the relief he’d felt shattered and his world imploded as he realized his most shameful secret had been found out…and by the one man he would have done anything to keep it from.

Hunter could already feel the anxiety building again. He couldn’t deal with this. Not now…not ever. But he could go back to the way things were. Get good grades, pretend he liked girls, do what he was told. He’d been doing it long before Roman came into his life and he could easily go back to it. After all, he’d had a lifetime to practice. He just needed to get away…that simple.

Hunter put his shoes on and climbed to his feet. Between the pain in his arm and his face, he felt off balance so he took his time heading towards the bedroom door. He had no clue how the hell he was going to get past Roman or his friends but he’d figure something out. Something that didn’t involve ever having to hear that mix of pity and disgust in Roman’s voice ever again.

***

Roman was glad when Gray and Luke didn’t say anything as he piled the few items he’d taken from the bathroom in the guest room on the kitchen table. He suspected he was overreacting by removing the two bottles of cleaning supplies, razor and bottle of aspirin but he wasn’t taking any chances. He knew from experience what happened when you underestimated the pain someone was in.

“Sit,” his brother said as he pulled out one of the kitchen chairs and placed a cup of coffee on the table.

Since his body felt shaky and weak, Roman did as he was told and settled into the chair. Gray sat next to him and Luke took the third chair across from him. He didn’t miss the way Gray’s hand immediately sought out Luke’s. The affectionate gesture had something breaking apart in Roman and he dropped his eyes to study the coffee.

The dog appeared and pushed her nose against his leg. “What’s her name again?” he asked as he settled his hand on the big dog’s head.

“Ripley,” Gray answered.

Roman smiled. “I love those movies,” he said softly. His eyes shifted to Luke. “Since Gray was never big on movies, I can only assume you gave her the name?”

Luke chuckled and nodded.

Roman felt Gray’s hand settle briefly on his shoulder. “What happened, Roman? Who is he?”

Incredibly, Roman felt more tears threatening to fall. He forced them back and said, “His name is Hunter. His father is the realtor handling the sale of some property I was looking at. Hunter’s been showing me the land for the past couple days.”

Roman was glad when Gray didn’t jump on the fact that he’d come to town without telling Gray.

“He was showing me around town and we ran into these two guys. I guess Hunter knew one of them. The other guy went crazy and started calling Hunter names and then he fucking hit him. Asked him if he had any idea what he’d done. Another cop showed up-”

“Wait, the guy who hit Hunter was a cop?” Luke interjected.

“Yeah…he was wearing a uniform. The second cop called him Rhys I think. The younger man’s name was Finn.”

Luke and Gray looked at each other.

“What?” Roman asked. “Do you know them?”

It was Gray who answered. “Rhys is Luke’s foster brother. They grew up together in Chicago. He’s the reason Luke came to Montana a few months ago.”

Roman didn’t know all the details of Luke’s past other than the few he’d gained from news stories. At some point Luke had been framed for murder by one of his Commanding Officers in the army and after several attempts on his life, Luke had arrived in Montana where he’d ended up meeting Gray by pure chance.

“So wait, do you know what Rhys was talking about?”

Luke and Gray shared another look and he could tell by the expression on their faces that neither wanted to be the bearer of bad news. Like it could get any fucking worse at this point.

“Rhys told me the story of how he and Finn and Callan met,” Luke finally said.

“Callan?”

“Callan Bale. He’s the owner of the CB Bar Ranch. Finn has worked for him for years but they didn’t get together until Rhys arrived in town earlier this summer.”

“So what, they’re together? The three of them?”

Luke nodded. “Callan was in the closet but Finn was out.”

“What does any of that have to do with Hunter?”

“Hunter outed him, Roman,” Gray said softly.

Roman couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He began shaking his head but couldn’t find any words.

“Hunter and Finn were in school together. Apparently there was some kind of party at Hunter’s house on the day they graduated. He and Finn were caught making out by Hunter’s father.”

A sick feeling twisted inside of Roman.

“Hunter told his father that Finn assaulted him.”

“No,” Roman whispered.

Luke took over the story. “Hunter’s father had Finn arrested for assault. Callan managed to get the charges against Finn dismissed but Hunter’s father made sure the story got out. Nearly the entire town turned against Finn.”

Roman felt like he was going to be sick. He couldn’t reconcile the act with the Hunter he knew.

“It gets worse,” Gray said.

How the hell could it get worse?

“Finn’s father beat him so badly that night when he got home that he ended up in the hospital. Callan kicked his father off the ranch and Finn hasn’t seen or spoken to him since.”

“Did Hunter…did he know what happened to Finn?”

“According to Rhys, Hunter left town the next day,” Luke explained.

“It has to be some kind of mistake,” Roman said.

Gray and Luke remained silent at that.

“Is that it? Or is there more?”

“Roman, Dare isn’t exactly a mecca of gay-friendly people,” Gray said. “I mean, it’s getting better but back then the majority of people just saw Finn as some kind of deviant and with Hunter’s father fanning the flames…well, they didn’t make it easy for Finn, or for Callan for that matter.”

“What happened?”

“It started small…the stores would refuse Finn service, people called him names, that sort of thing. Then they started going after Callan because he refused to fire Finn. He couldn’t get fair prices for his cattle, he and Finn had to go to other towns to buy supplies.” Gray glanced at Luke before continuing. “At one point, a couple of guys poisoned the water supply on Callan’s land. It killed half his stock. They also kept cutting the fences and a few months ago they burned down his barn. Finn got shot in the process.”

Roman pushed back his chair and stood. “Jesus,” he muttered as he began pacing back and forth in the small kitchen. His first instinct was to go into the bedroom and make Hunter explain what he’d been thinking when he’d spouted that terrible lie. And why the hell hadn’t he come forward and told the truth?

And then an image of Hunter bent over that pool table flashed in his mind and his anger gave way to pity. Hunter may have made a foolish, unthinking choice but he hadn’t walked away completely unscathed. Roman returned to the chair and dropped his head into his hands.

“He’s punishing himself for it,” he said quietly.

“His arm?” Luke asked.

Roman nodded. “That and other stuff,” he said, unwilling to share the details of what the bikers had done to Hunter…what he’d allowed them to do in some sick attempt to make sure he’d paid for what he’d done to Finn.