Finding Haven (33 page)

“Can I tell you why I came to Perry Island?” It was a story he had always wanted to
share with her. He waited for her to answer.

She nodded.

“Because I wanted normal. I wanted my life back. Emmy and I were dating.” He noticed
her eyes flared at the mention of his ex. “And she went to Hawaii to shoot another
film. Anyway, she hooked up with some guy and it made headlines.”

“I remember that story,” she whispered.

“I wasn’t heartbroken. Don’t get me wrong. She and I were done before that ever happened.
But I was so tired of my love life being splashed across every magazine and making
the entertainment channels. It was humiliating to see another one of my failures on
display for everyone to see. So, I woke up, bought a Jeep, and started driving. I
drove as far as I could, and when the road ran out, I hopped this ferry and rode that
until I ended up on Perry Island.”

“You just ditched your Hollywood life to live in a camper all summer?” she questioned.

“I didn’t have a plan or even a reservation. I slept in the campground because the
hotels were closed when I drove in. Harry suggested Silver Belle, and she was perfect.
Something I didn’t even know I needed.”

“But you told everyone you were here as a writer, or did you just start that lie with
me?”

He knew that the writer cover hit her hard. It was a connection she thought they shared.
“I made it up as I went along. I didn’t know who I could trust, who would sell me
out, who would take pictures of me on the beach or drinking a beer. As far as I knew,
everyone was a photographer in tourist’s clothing.”

He tried to smile. He wanted her to understand. But from the outside he knew it sounded
ungrateful and selfish to thwart the hand that helped build his fame and fortune.
At one time, those captured pictures of him were the thing that made him popular.

“I don’t get it, though. Why did you take the job at the store? You didn’t need to
do that.”

“Because of you.” He kept his voice low. If she would just let him hold her, he knew
he could fix it. “You looked so miserable and I couldn’t stand to see a pretty girl
like you with that look on your face. God, Haven, you are the most beautiful and amazing
woman I have ever known.”

“But you didn’t even know me.” She sniffed. “Why would you stock boxes and waste your
time in a stupid kayak stand?”

He had done a lot of things to impress girls before, but truly, a summer as a clerk
had to be at the top of the list. He wished she could grasp the significance.

He smiled at her. “Come on. You know me. I like to make you smile.”

“I don’t know if I
do
know you.”

“But you do, Haven. I swear, you know the real me that none of those people out there
do.” He pointed to the door. “I was me when I was with you. I know you don’t believe
it. I don’t deserve for you to believe it, but I was
me
with you.”

Other than the hum from the ferry, the room was quiet. She was too quiet. He could
only hope it meant she was thinking through his words.

“Evan.” She said it calmly.

“Yes, it’s Evan.” He searched her eyes for any clue as to what she was feeling. He
felt lost and desperate, knowing the time was ticking on the ride.

“Evan Carlson.” The name whispered over her lips slowly, as if she was saying them
for the first time.

Patience wasn’t his strong suit. If she made him sit here one more second without
telling him how she felt, he knew his heart would break free from his chest.

“Haven, please look at me.” Her eyes drifted to his. “I will do anything and everything
for another chance with you. I am so sorry.”

She stared, her eyes tearing at his soul. “Did you make me fall in love with you as
part of the charade?”

It was as if she had pushed all of the air from his body. “God, no.” How could she
think that? He couldn’t take it anymore. He reached for her neck, his hands tangling
in her hair, and he crushed his mouth against hers.

She pushed against his chest and her warm lips fought the kiss, but he wrapped his
arm around her tighter and felt her relax into his hold. The pain in his chest eased
as he inhaled her scent and took her mouth with deeper, more urgent kisses.

She climbed into his lap, her hands tugging on him in all directions. Nothing had
ever felt like this. His hand slid along her back. Their arms twisted and franticly
grasped at any part of each other they could touch. He never wanted her this badly.

Haven sat up, breaking the kiss and pushing against his chest. No, he didn’t want
her to stop. He needed those lips. They felt so much better when they were touching
and reaching for each other.

“I-I— We can’t. We do this too quickly. It’s too easy to start making out like everything’s
normal. When I know it’s not normal. You are a movie star. This is
not
normal.” She pulled her leg from around his waist, and braced herself on his shoulder
to stand. “You can’t seduce me back to you.”

Evan’s chest heaved and his stomach tightened. He stood to catch her before she made
it to the door. This wasn’t over.

“You don’t think that’s what this is, do you? We have something that goes way beyond
sex.”

She leaned against the door. “I thought we did.”

“How about the poem I wrote for you? Or the beach glass I saved from the hurricane?
And seriously, I wore the ugliest apron on the planet for you. I wouldn’t have done
any of those things for a summer hook up. You mean more than that.”

He watched her biting her bottom lip, and he saw her resolve slipping. But she turned
for the door.

“Haven, stop.”

She twirled on her heels. “You don’t have that control over me now.” Her eyes burned
into his.

“But you do.” He reached for her wrist.

“What?” Her eyes darted back and forth.

“I am only on this damn ferry because I thought it was what you wanted. I don’t want
to leave, but I will do anything to make you happy again. If that means leaving or
if that means staying.” He tucked her hair behind her ear. “You, Haven, are the one
in control.” He left his hand on her neck, caressing the side of her throat.

Her eyes were closed, and he didn’t know if she was fighting off the feeling or taking
it all in. What else could he say? What else could he do to prove that he had messed
up, and if she would let him, he would make it up in every way possible. He had given
her the control and the power to do what would make her happy. Regardless of the outcome,
he was going to have to live with her decision.

He was about to try to kiss her again, when her long lashes fluttered open. He saw
the fire in her blue eyes. The fire that kept him up at night, the one that distracted
him when he least expected it.

Her hands reached behind his neck, and she drew him toward her, bringing his mouth
on hers. He groaned as her tongue played with his. It was urgent and primal, the way
she clung to him as if she couldn’t taste enough of his mouth.

“Wait. Wait.” He couldn’t believe he was actually prying her off him, but she had
to know he hadn’t brought her up here for this. Even though, it was a hell of a way
for things to turn around.

“I missed
you
.” He held her face between his hands.

“I know.” She fisted her hands in his hair, sighing against his cheek. “Me too.”

He growled, burying his head in her shoulder. He had missed everything about this
part of her body—the way it felt on his lips and how her shampoo smelled as he nuzzled
into the warmth of her neck. She was like the sun. His own summer surrender.

“Tell me.” She moaned.

“What?” He kissed her ear. He thought he had said it all.

She pressed her palms against his chest and rubbed the rigid muscles. “I’m not going
to do anything you don’t want me to do. But you have to tell me.” She grinned wickedly,
and for a second, Evan thought he might pass out.

He looked at the clock over the door, the closed blinds, and the chair under the door.

He pulled her against him and leaned down to whisper in her ear, “Take me.”

Inching his T-shirt up, she ran her fingertips along his stomach. “Right here? Right
now?” she teased.

He nodded. His eyes urged her to do what she wanted with him. He was hers.

She shook her head. “Uh-uh. You have to tell me,” she purred as she dipped her hand
below his waistband.

He sucked in sharply. She always had this effect on him—taking him to the edge with
the things she could do. “Haven, you can take me now, here, wherever you want.” He
rocked his head back. “Just take me.” He had never given control up like that. Power
and anxiousness coiled together as he realized how vulnerable he felt asking her for
what he wanted. He was baring it all for her.

As he felt his body come alive under her command, he knew there was something else
he had to tell her. He had waited until it was too late before, and he wasn’t going
to make that mistake a second time. He would never risk losing her again. Maybe she
hadn’t completely forgiven him, but he knew this was her way of saying there was still
something there—it wasn’t over. He needed to take the next leap. He had to tell her.

“Haven?” He tried to focus. The burning in his belly was intense and her hands were
all over him.

“Mmm-hmm?” She gripped his hands against her waist, shimming her skirt up around her
waist. Her shoulders flattened against the wall, and he watched her breasts rise as
her breath quickened.

His eyes met hers. He didn’t whisper; he didn’t make her guess. “I am in love with
you.”

The light he loved so much, the one he was afraid he had dimmed with his idiotic stubbornness,
glowed and radiated when she smiled. “Evan.” His mouth descended on hers and everything
else faded away.

“A
ND WHY
are we taking a private plane again? I had an airline ticket.” I tried to relax into
the leather seat as a flight attendant handed me a glass of champagne. I had missed
my scheduled flight.

“Because, I don’t want to put you on a plane alone, and I think you’ll like this much
better.” Evan winked as he buckled in across from me.

One thing on a private jet is that there aren’t rows of seats. This one was set up
like a living room. He was directly in front of me, where I could keep my eye on his
perfect face. I couldn’t argue with him that the plane was beautiful. I’m sure it
was a struggle for him to squeeze into regular airline seats. He looked comfortable
on his mini-couch.

He raised his glass. “To first trips.”

“To first trips.” I tasted the bubbly. It was cold and smooth. “So, when we land in
Austin, what are we going to do?” My meeting with Blue Steel Records was tomorrow
afternoon, and except for that one, all of my other plans had gone right out the window
the minute I let Evan kiss me again.

“We are driving to the ranch. I want you to see where I live. It’s no island, but
I think you’ll like it.” He looked excited.

“Do they serve cowboy steak there?” I teased. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a
fire pit. He loved building a fire with the driftwood he collected. I wondered what
kind of wood they used on the ranch.

“Lenny will make anything you want.”

“Lenny?”

“Yeah, ranch chef.” He said it like it was well-known fact.

Of course he would have a ranch chef. That’s what famous rich people had, right? I
didn’t have any idea how many people worked for Evan or how big his umbrella was.
What I had learned about his famous life took place over the week we spent apart.
It was my crash course into Hollywood gossip. I searched for articles, pictures, and
anything with his name on it. It wasn’t my best decision. I learned more than I wanted
to about his bachelor status, and about the girls before me.

Today was a whirlwind. Evan had left his Jeep with one of the ferry attendants, paying
him to drive it back to my house. Then he hopped behind the wheel of my car and drove
us all the way north on Highway 12. True, there was a bit of a commotion when we emerged
from the lounge, but we had to hope it wasn’t enough to make a blip on the social
media radar.