Finding Home (9 page)
Authors: Leighton Rose
“I GOT THE JOB!” he exclaimed loudly, not caring who could hear him.
Adam’s eyes grew huge, as did his smile, and he hugged Dillon tight in celebration. “That’s fantastic!” he replied excitedly and let Dillon go. “What color of these sheets do you like best?” Adam wondered aloud.
“The black ones,” Dillon answered quickly, not thinking. He knew Adam loved black.
“Well, then it looks like those will be the new sheets on your bed in the guest room,” Adam announced as he grabbed them from the shelf.
“What?” Dillon asked in disbelief. “No, Adam, you don’t have to do that. The sheets that are already on the bed will be just fine for me.”
Adam shot him a look that told him not to argue. “These are celebratory sheets, and I think I’d feel better if you weren’t sleeping on sheets that were as old as my grandmother.”
Dillon didn’t know what to say. It was Adam’s house so technically he could buy whatever he wanted for it. “Okay, whatever you say.” Dillon wasn’t about to let an argument over sheets bring his mood down. He had a freaking job!
They left the store after Adam paid for the sheets. The awkwardness from earlier had dissipated, and everything seemed normal again. “Shall we go get your stuff from the motel so you don’t have to pay for another night?” Adam asked him. “Grams will refund you what you over paid for the week. Then we can go to the house and get you settled in before I have to head to the shop”
Dillon’s grin was ear-to-ear still. He couldn’t believe his crazy change in luck, or the fact that he was about to move out of a motel, especially since he’d only been there for a few days, and into the guest room of his first real friend. It was absolutely insane to him, but he wouldn’t change it for anything.
Adam drove them back across town to the motel. He’d rolled the windows down, blared the radio, and sang at the top of his lungs. Adam didn’t think his mood could possibly get any better, and Dillon was practically giddy. The sun was shining and it was warm outside. How much better could it get?
When they pulled up in front of the office, Adam instructed Dillon to go get his things and meet him in the office while he went in to talk to Grams.
“Adam!” Doris greeted him as he walked in the door by bustling around the counter and throwing her arms around his neck. “I am really enjoying Dillon staying here. I haven’t had this many surprise visits from you in one week ever!” Her smile was so warm, and he knew she was teasing him.
“Well, I’m sorry to be the one to disappoint you, Grams, but Dillon won’t be staying here any longer,” he informed her. “He’s moving into the guest room at the house.”
“Adam…” she started with her lecture voice but Adam cut her off. “No, Grams. It’s not like that. He got a job about half a mile from the house and the commute from here would be too much. He’s trying to ration the money he has saved, and it just made sense for him to room with me. I was hoping you’d do me a favor and refund him what he overpaid you. I know you don’t normally do that, but it would mean a lot to me.”
Adam gave her his best puppy dog eyes and even puffed out his bottom lip for added effect. Grams didn’t stand a chance against Adam’s pleading. She merely nodded her head in approval, and Adam practically bounced with glee in his spot. He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. “Thanks, Grams! You’re the best!”
“Oh, Adam, just be careful with this one, okay? You’ve never asked anyone to move in with you before, and you’ve only known Dillon for a couple days. Don’t get his hopes up if you can’t provide real stability for him,” she warned him.
“Grams, he’s not moving in with me to be my boyfriend; he’s moving in as a roommate. I want him to thrive as much as you do. So let’s keep this favor just between us, okay?” Adam winked at her and she agreed.
Just a few moments later, Dillon was walking through the door with all of his stuff in his bags. “I hear you’re leaving me already,” Doris teased him as he walked up to the counter with his key.
“Yes, ma’am,” he replied before quickly correcting himself. “I mean… Doris.” He gave her an awkward smile. It still felt disrespectful for him not to call her ma’am.
Doris’ eyes were kind and inviting and crinkled at the edge when she grinned so wide at him. “You make sure my grandson treats you well as his guest, and if you ever need a place to stay again, you are welcome back here anytime.” Dillon was getting better at interacting with people. He even managed to joke a little with her. “Thank you, Doris. I’ll definitely keep that in mind if Adam turns out to be a psycho or a serial killer.”
“Dillon! Grams!” Adam cried, pretending to be shocked by their words. “How dare you insult me like that?” he huffed.
Dillon just laughed as he handed over the key and signed off on the check-out paperwork. Doris handed him an envelope with his refund in it and walked around the counter to stand in front of Dillon. “It was really wonderful to meet you, Dillon. I’m so glad you’ve made such good friends with my Adam, and I hope to see you around more often,” she told him, pulling him in for a hug.
He stiffened automatically, not sure what to do. Adam raised an eyebrow at him, and Dillon felt badly, so he wrapped his arms around Doris and squeezed her back. “Thank you for taking a chance on me when you had no reason to believe in me,” Dillon responded seriously. “I can’t thank you enough. I will come visit, I promise.”
Doris pulled back but held on to his shoulders as she looked him in the eye. “Good luck with your new job. You’ll do great; I’m sure of it.” Her words were sincere and as close to praise as Dillon had ever gotten from an adult in his life.
She turned to face Adam. “I’ll see you tomorrow for Sunday dinner, yes?”
“Of course, Grams. You know I wouldn’t miss it.”
“Good, and Dillon will come too. I’m sure Amy would like to see him again.” Dillon’s eyes widened. He wasn’t expecting an invitation to family dinner, but he got more than that. He got a command from Doris, and he wouldn’t dream of turning her down.
“Um, yeah, I guess I could come if you are sure I won’t be a bother,” Dillon responded shyly.
“Nonsense, it’s settled. We’ll see you boys tomorrow afternoon.” And with that, they were basically dismissed.
*****
Once they arrived back at Adam’s house, Dillon carried his stuff into what was now his room. That was a crazy thought to him. Adam helped him change out the old sheets with the new ones, quickly showed him how to work the washer and dryer so that he could do laundry while he went to work, and taught him how to work the television in the living room.
Parker was ecstatic to have his belly rub buddy back, and once Adam left for the day, Parker never left Dillon’s side. It felt awkward to be roaming around Adam’s house while he wasn’t there. Several times Dillon had to force himself to remember that he now lived there, too, but that still didn’t help with the awkwardness of it all.
When boredom and exhaustion finally came crashing down on him, he decided a nap was in order. He settled into his new bed with Parker at his feet and fell asleep with a smile on his face.
Dillon startled awake, but as he peered around the darkened room, he didn’t know where he was. Fear invaded his body as his lungs tightened and his heart raced. “MOMMY!” he tried to scream but it came out more as a gasp than anything. He couldn’t get enough air into his lungs, and he tried desperately to move but his entire body seemed to be paralyzed. “Help me…” he wheezed as loudly as he could, his entire body going from numb to tingling all over.
Adam was walking by Dillon’s bedroom on his way to let Parker out when he heard Dillon’s faint cry for help. He rushed in to see what the hell was going on. Dillon was lying flat on his back, his face scrunched up. He seemed to be hyperventilating, and Adam’s heart began to thunder in his chest.
“Dillon,” he shouted, trying to bring him back from whatever dark place he’d gone to. He reached the bed, crawled into the middle, and pulled Dillon into a sitting position, wrapping his arms around him tightly, rubbing his back in a soothing manner. “It’s okay, Dillon,” he whispered in his ear. “I’m here and you’re safe. Come back to me.” Dillon’s skin was cool to the touch and sweaty. Adam didn’t know what to do, so he just held Dillon and continued to whisper reassurances into his ear.
Dillon’s head was fuzzy and light, and his vision was spotty. He was still pulling in short breaths, and he felt like he was dying. Something was constricting his upper body, and he tried to fight it. All he could see was the big, scary man holding him down and he tried to shout, “No!” but he couldn’t seem to find his voice any longer, and that terrified him more.
Adam held on to Dillon tighter as he began to thrash around in his arms and kept whispering in his ear that he was safe and that Adam wasn’t going anywhere. Dillon’s body was soon exhausted from trying to fight and he gave up. He was ready to just let it happen so he could get it over with. No one was going to save him, just like the last time.
Adam felt it as soon as Dillon’s body gave up the fight, he just went limp in Adam’s arms. Dillon kept waiting for something to happen, anything, but nothing did. Within a few minutes, the panic began to subside, and his head began to clear up. He heard Adam’s voice through the fog in his head telling him he was going to be okay. Dillon latched onto that, focusing on the tone of his voice, breathing when he was told to. The moment he could move his body again, he latched onto Adam, buried his face in Adam’s neck, and just cried.
He’d been so terrified that he was going to have to relive that experience again. It felt so real. “Dillon, talk to me.” Adam breathed in deep. He really didn’t know what else to do. “Are you okay? What happened?”
Dillon couldn’t form any sort of coherent sentences yet, so he just shook his head and let Adam soothe him while he cried. He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, but Adam never moved or tried to leave him. He just surrounded him with something familiar and kept him feeling safe and secure. “I’m sorry,” Dillon whispered finally, when he was sure he could speak without breaking down again.
“What happened?” Adam asked again. He needed to know, for his own peace of mind, and he wanted to know what to do to help Dillon.
“I’m not sure,” Dillon admitted, his head still resting in the crook of Adam’s neck. “I woke up in a panic the other morning in your living room because I didn’t know where I was, but Parker brought me out of my panic easily, reminding me of where I was. This has never happened to me before.”
Adam tightened his grip on Dillon. “Tell me what happened this morning.”
Dillon thought back through what he could remember. “I was having a bad dream, and when I woke up I didn’t know where I was. I was terrified. I used to wake up in strange places all the time, having no clue where my parents were or if they were going to wake up at all. But the last time…” Dillon’s voice cracked and a sob broke through.
“Shhh,” Adam cooed. “It’s okay; you don’t have to talk about it.”
Dillon shook his head. He needed to tell someone finally, and Adam was his safe place. “The last time I woke up to some big, sweaty guy on top of me who smelled like a horrible mixture of beer and body odor. I was ten, I think, and he was grunting and rutting against me. I kept trying to push him off of me, but he was too big. I could feel his penis, it was hard against mine, and I hated it. He kept telling me to keep my fag mouth shut as I tried to scream for help. When I didn’t stop, he used his big, dirty hand to cover my mouth and nose. I couldn’t breathe.” Tears were streaming down Dillon’s face as he confessed all of this for the first time. “I didn’t know what to do, so I just gave up and let him finish getting himself off on me. It was only a few minutes, but I was gasping for air, and when he finally released, he did it all over my pants.”
Adam was appalled and disgusted by what he was hearing. Dillon was telling him that he’d been sexually assaulted as a child, and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do. His voice wavered, full of emotion, as he told Dillon how sorry he was. He knew it sounded lame, but what else was he supposed to say? That sort of shit wasn’t supposed to happen to a child, but knowing it happened to his Dillon, that was horrifying.
“I felt repulsive. He told me how great I was and asked if I wanted to come back to his house again sometime. I couldn’t respond to that, so I just sat there, curled in a ball and trembling in fear, until my parents stumbled into the room and found me. They took me home, and I showered for an hour trying to get the dirty feeling off of me, but I still felt unclean. I refused to go with them anywhere ever again, but they decided they didn’t care. It was just one less thing they had to worry about when they were out partying. My room was always my safe place, and I never slept anywhere strange again until Wednesday night.” Dillon was emotionally exhausted after acknowledging all of that.
“Dillon,” Adam sighed. “I don’t know what to say, but I want you to know you are safe here. Did this happen to you at the motel?”
Dillon realized that it hadn’t happened at the motel and wondered why. “Well, I didn’t wake up on my own either of the days I stayed there. You woke me up Thursday morning, and yesterday… well, you know.” Dillon was embarrassed again by what had happened and started to wonder if he’d made Adam feel like he felt when that guy forced himself on him. Dillon’s face fell.
“Stop,” Adam warned. “Don’t go to that place, okay? I told you I was perfectly okay with what happened. Dillon, you didn’t do anything wrong yesterday, I promise.”
Dillon swallowed loudly and didn’t have it in him to argue, so he just nodded in agreement. “I need a shower,” he announced.
Adam was reluctant to let him go, and he felt a sense of loss when Dillon moved out of his embrace. He wanted nothing more than to protect Dillon from anymore hurt in his life, and Adam was going to do everything he could to make Dillon feel safe and stable, and if that meant he could only be Dillon’s friend, well, then Adam would just have to make that sacrifice.
Dillon rummaged through his bags and grabbed some clothes. “What time do we have to be at your grandparents’?”
“Are you sure you’re up for that?” Adam asked. “We could stay home if you don’t feel like going.”
“No,” Dillon disagreed, shaking his head. “I want to go. We promised we’d be there, and I don’t want to disappoint Doris. She was so nice to me.”
“Okay, then we need to leave in about an hour,” Adam answered. “I’ll go take a shower in my room after you’re done.”
Dillon waited in the living room with Parker until Adam was finished getting ready. He walked into the room, and Dillon had to stop his jaw from dropping. He was wearing a royal blue polo and a pair of tight, dark wash jeans. His shoes were blue to match the shirt and he looked stunning. Dillon felt severely under-dressed in his t-shirt and ratty old jeans.
“Ready?” he asked.
“Yeah, let’s go,” Dillon replied.
“C’mon, Parker,” Adam called. “Let’s go see Grams!”
*****
Dillon watched in awe as they pulled up a long driveway and parked in front of a large house in a quiet suburb of Omaha. They walked up to the house, and Dillon was looking up wide-eyed, mouth open. “This is incredible,” he told Adam.
Adam kinda shrugged. “It’s just a house.”
“My house was one story. Two bedrooms, one bathroom, and not a lot of room to move. It was a tiny little dump in a crappy neighborhood. Again, this is incredible,” Dillon stated before he realized the information he’d just given Adam.
Adam hated that Dillon had lived like that and found that he wanted to hunt down Dillon’s parents and make them pay for the way they’d treated Dillon during his crucial emotional development years. Yeah, his grandparents’ house was nice, but it wasn’t spectacular or anything, and that just showed how little Dillon really ever had.
“You ready?” he asked Dillon, who nodded at him, when they got to the door. Adam just walked in, ushering Dillon in with him. “We’re here!” he hollered out loudly as he slipped his shoes off. Parker barked several times to make his presence known when Grams came rushing around the corner into the hallway. “Hello, boys, glad you could make it.” She stopped and hugged Adam quickly before pulling Dillon into an embrace as well. Dillon was still wary of human contact but was starting to feel comfortable around Doris, so he returned her squeeze.
“It’s good to see you again, Doris,” Dillon greeted her. “Thanks for inviting me.”
“Oh, you’re welcome here anytime, dear.” She brushed off his thanks like it was nothing to have another person for dinner, although it meant quite a bit to Dillon. Doris bent down to scratch Parker’s head, and he arched into her touch. “Hello, baby,” she cooed at him. “I’ve got a treat for you in the kitchen. C’mon, Parker.”
Adam and Dillon followed her into the living room while Parker continued on her heels into the kitchen. “Hey, Gramps.” Adam walked over to the recliner where his grandpa was sitting. He reached out and shook hands with the man, who looked to be about as tall as Adam. When he turned his head to the side and Dillon got a good look at his face, he could instantly see an older Adam sitting there. He was a handsome man, with a few wrinkles around his eyes and grey starting to show through his otherwise dark brown hair. Adam gestured for Dillon to join him. “Gramps, this is my new friend, Dillon. Dillon, this is Gramps.”
Dillon extended his arm to be polite. “William Banks,” Gramps offered his name as he shook Dillon’s hand firmly. “Dillon Turner,” he replied back.
“Nice to meet you, Dillon. Doris has told me all about you.” That made Dillon blush. No one ever cared enough to talk about him, or at least to say nice things about him, and he couldn’t imagine Doris had anything mean to say about him.
“You too, sir,” Dillon replied, scooting a little closer to Adam, who still seemed to serve as his safe place. He felt more comfortable the closer he stood to Adam. Adam sensed Dillon’s discomfort and placed his hand on the small of Dillon’s back.
“You boys can sit down and watch the game with me if you want,” Gramps offered. “Beer’s in the fridge, Adam.”
“Do you want something to drink, Dillon?” Adam asked before heading toward the kitchen. Dillon nodded and Adam left the room. ,
“He’s a good man,” William told Dillon as soon as Adam was gone. “He’s never brought anyone to family dinner before, so I assume you two are something of an item?” His voice was gruff and gritty, as if he’d been smoking for a few too many years, and it commanded attention.
“No, sir,” Dillon answered him softly. “We’re just friends.”
“If you don’t mind me butting in, you won’t be just friends for long, I suspect.” He took a long drink of his beer. “I can see the way he looks at you from the short time you were together in here. You mean something to him; it doesn’t matter if you haven’t known each other long. Adam doesn’t form emotional connections to people easily, I’m sure he won’t tell you that himself, but it’s true. Now, I’m sorry to lay this out on you so soon after meeting you, son, but I’m not sure we’ll have another chance later. Take care of him, okay?”
“I’ll do my best,” Dillon promised. His heart soared at the thought of actually meaning something to Adam, but he still had to sort through a lot of stuff he was discovering about himself. He tried to stamp down his internal excitement.
