Finding Home - A Post Apocalyptic Novel (The Ravaged Land Series Book 2) (9 page)

“Guess so,” Penn said gesturing towards the bathroom, “you can go first if you want.”

I shook my head. My body wasn’t ready to get up just yet. I wasn’t going to be able to fall back asleep, but I didn’t want to start moving just yet either. It had been mentally unpleasant to wake up in the place I least wanted to be. HOME that is, not Penn’s bed.

After Penn and I had gotten ready, we went in search of classroom B. We found it without much trouble by following the signs posted everywhere. We didn’t know how long it would take for us to find it so we left ourselves plenty of getting lost time. Too much in fact, because we were the first ones there. I sat down in one of the cold, hard, metal folding chairs that was pushed up against the faux wooden table. Penn was moving around me. I could hear each footstep he made and knew exactly where he was in relation to me. It felt like he was a lion walking back and forth protecting me from a predator.

“You can sit down,” I said resting my head on my closed fists. I hated being so tired because it made me feel very vulnerable. Exhaustion was definitely affecting my alertness, and that likely wasn’t a good thing to let happen in this place. I should have just been thankful that Penn seemed wide awake and was picking up the slack.

He shook his head and only stopped when the Johnson’s walked in. They sat down at the table across from mine and their daughter, Claire, climbed up on her mom’s lap. She clung to her mom while her dad looked like he didn’t know what to do with his hands. I smiled at them. The mother and daughter tentatively smiled back. But the dad just ignored me.

“Where are you from?” I asked looking at the mother. She didn’t look anything like my mother but reminded me of her nonetheless. It was likely how much she appeared to love, care for and protect her daughter that made me think of my mom. I missed her, but I tried not to think about it too often. All paralyzing thoughts had to be stuffed deep down inside me for the sake of my survival.

“California,” she said apprehensively, “you?”

I was just about to tell her I came from North Dakota when Penn answered for me, “We’re from Anchorage.”

“Yeah, Anchorage,” I said just as Deezil walked into the classroom and marched her way up to the front of the room. As far as I could tell she hadn’t heard us talking. She set down several binders on the table next to her podium and then waved at someone in the doorway. I turned around to see a girl who looked a little like Sienna from behind, although with shorter hair, walking out of the room. I was about to stand up and go after her when I felt Penn’s hand grip my shoulder.

Deezil had us all sit while she droned on and on about the facilities. What we could do, what we couldn’t do, what was expected of us, but ending every other sentence with some nonsense about how safe we were here. How the dangers of the new world couldn’t touch us in here, or so she claimed. She told us we were in the safest place in the whole world. Then she added that we were lucky to be here and before we knew it we’d see why. I had to cough to cover up my near laugh. Thankfully no one, except maybe Penn, had noticed.

She informed us that since HOME worked like a well-oiled machine we’d all have to do our part to help out. We’d be assigned jobs and receive training, but not Claire. She would start attending the school with the other kids her age. Deezil told her how much fun it would be with a big forced grin on her face. She would get to play games and make all kinds of new friends. But Claire grabbed onto her mother even harder while her dad bounced his leg up and down rapidly. I didn’t know how they’d be able to let the little girl out of their sight. And if you asked me, they shouldn’t.

We had sat and listened to her for nearly three and half hours before she said we could break for lunch. Our first task would be to find the cafeteria on our own and that our trainers would come for us sometime tomorrow. Then something happened and her tone changed. Everything sounded even more forced and rehearsed. She went on for another ten minutes about how much freedom we had here. Just to show how free we were, we could take the rest of the day to do whatever we wanted. Get acquainted with the place. We could even go outside if we desired as long as we stayed in the designated safe zones.

After she dismissed us, I stared at her, waiting to see if she’d break character. If she’d let something slip, but she didn’t. She made a small wave with her hand as if she was shooing me away and then she sat down to go over her papers. Penn gave me a gentle nudge, and I led the way out of the room.

We walked side by side to the cafeteria in silence. The layout of the place was rather simple, and there were signs posted everywhere with directions. Each sign had all the main areas, such as the cafeteria, printed on it with arrows pointing which way to go. I figured that all of the places HOME didn’t want people to get into weren’t in this building anyway. Which gave people the illusion of freedom.

Inside the cafeteria, light orchestral music was playing over a loudspeaker while people milled about. My ears were sensitive to all the crackles from the speakers, mixed with the hushed voices of people talking to one another. It felt too noisy. Too busy. It was as if somewhere someone had set up an old boom-box next to a microphone and turned it on. It was awful, especially after having been surrounded by near silence for as long as I had been.

The people moved around going this way or that, carrying their trays full of food or over to dump whatever was left on their tray into the trash bins. Although anyone not finishing their meal had to be completely insane. Was food that plentiful in here that it could just go to waste? Hopefully it wasn’t a recycling bin. I almost gagged at the thought.

It surprised me how unfriendly everyone seemed to be. No one really looked up at one another, and no one even bothered to say ‘hi’ or welcome us. I wondered if maybe everyone felt like they were in some kind of prison, or if it was just me. Penn didn’t seem to act any differently here than he had back at my cabin. He was on his guard at all times because of my warnings about HOME, but he didn’t seem to think we were in any real danger.

Penn stepped up to the line and grabbed a tray. I followed him as the people working behind the counter ladled food or placed things on the trays. I felt like I was back in high school. Only much, much different. One person put a bowl of some kind of soup on my tray, another added two crackers from an already opened package, and a third scooped on what appeared to be canned peas. It was a small meal, but it was a meal.

“How do they not run out of food? There are so many people here,” I whispered to Penn as we walked towards the tables.

“Maybe they will.” Penn shrugged his shoulders.

“If more and more people keep coming they’ll run out even faster.” But HOME probably had it all figured out. While they were feeding everyone, the serving size was still small. They were rationing, but even still I didn’t see how they wouldn’t run out eventually. They had to be getting their supplies from somewhere. Maybe they had a garden outside, or a greenhouse. Maybe they knew how to make crackers. I was sure they had a plan, I just didn’t know what it was. And apparently they didn’t feel they needed to tell any of the people living at HOME. At least not those still on probation.

I sat down across from Penn and cautiously tasted the soup as if it might be noticeably poisoned. It didn’t even come close to tasting as good as the things I could put together back at my cabin. I had no idea what kind of soup it was it was so watered down. I crushed my crackers and sprinkled them in hoping it would help, but it didn’t. But it was food, so I ate it. This wasn’t a time for being picky. Even if things didn’t taste good you ate them… because you had to.

While Penn spooned the soup hungrily into his mouth, I scanned the room for my friends. I was just about to give up and return to my water soup when I saw him. I blinked frantically wanting to make sure my vision was clear… that it was really him and that my eyes weren’t deceiving me. My hand fell down against the table as if it suddenly weighed a thousand pounds. I hit the edge of my tray and it clunked against the table. Some of the soup splashed out and onto my hand. Penn’s face stayed down towards his soup but his eyes shifted up towards me.

At the back of the kitchen area, Dean was lazily swishing a broom side to side with his head down. He definitely didn’t look excited to be sweeping.

“Oh!” I said unable to stop my smile. “It’s Dean!” I dropped my spoon, and it hit my tray loudly. If people noticed they didn’t look at me, but Penn was already staring at me.

I felt tears form at the corner of my eyes, but when I saw Penn’s expression it smothered any bit of excitement I had away.

“Pull it together,” he demanded through his teeth, his tone slathered with urgency.

I was afraid to look away. Afraid to blink. Because if I did, he might disappear. He didn’t look up from his sweeping. If Dean was here, that meant Sienna was too, and probably Owen as well. I didn’t think Dean would ever let himself get separated from his sister, except in death. I wondered if Ryan was here. It took everything I had not to stand up, march over to Dean and hug him. Who was I kidding, I wanted to stand up screaming and waving my arms until he came running over. I had so many questions for him. As soon as I got the chance I knew I would bombard him with a barrage of questions about what had happened after we’d been separated. But I couldn’t, at least not yet.

He put his broom away and walked out to the front of the cafeteria where he crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. I couldn’t watch him without it being horribly obvious what I was doing since I’d have to twist my neck to look at him. I asked Penn every ten seconds or so for an update on what he was doing and if he was still there.

“He’s talking to some guy and a girl,” Penn said glancing up as he scooped up a spoonful of the sloppy peas.

I casually turned to see who he was talking to and my heart fluttered. It was Owen and Sienna. Seeing them all together made me want to cry out to them. It wasn’t fair they were together, and I was all alone. No offense to Penn. But I had spent the better time away from them having been all alone. At least they got to have each other. I wondered if they had missed me as much as I had missed them? Would they be happy to see me? It made me a little nervous that they hadn’t recognized me. Did I really look that different? Then again, maybe they just hadn’t noticed me. They didn’t seem to spend much time looking around. Like everyone else here, they mostly kept their heads down and kept to themselves.

They walked up to the line and got their trays of food and sat down at a bench close enough that I could watch them without looking suspicious. At least I had hoped that was the case. Dean’s hair was longer. He swooped it off to the side to keep it out of his eyes. Sienna looked older. She was thinner, but then again who wasn’t. It was surprising to me, however, that her face looked as though she had aged several years. Her hair was shorter and she could have definitely been the girl walking away from orientation. Owen looked as though he had bulked up some, as if he had been lifting weights. His hair had been cut short, and he didn’t look happy. None of them did. But they didn’t look scared or anything either. Just neutral. Like everyone else seemed to be.

I knew once they had lifted their spoons and started eating that Ryan wouldn’t be joining them. If he had been coming, they would have waited for him. Ryan wasn’t here. They barely spoke to one another as they ate.

“No Ryan,” I whispered to Penn.

“Would you please stop staring,” Penn ordered. We had both finished eating, but I didn’t want to leave. Not yet. Once they left and I couldn’t see them any more, then I could leave. But now, while I could still keep my eyes on them, I knew they existed. After they’d leave it would feel as though they had disappeared or had just been in my imagination, and I wasn’t ready for that. “You are new here. You can’t just go up and talk to them. Not yet.”

I knew he was right. Not talking to them was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. It would have been much easier for me to run up to them and beg them to leave with me. But that wouldn’t have been safe and, without Ryan, I didn’t really want that either. I had to be smart. I had to do this the right way and that included finding out where Ryan was.

After a few minutes someone clanked a tray down on the other side of Sienna. I had been so busy pretending not to be watching that I didn’t see who had walked up to the table. They all nodded at one another but I couldn’t see who it was because Sienna’s head was blocking my view.

A few seconds later she leaned forward to slurp some soup, and I saw him. I gasped and nearly choked. I turned away quickly before I drew too much attention to myself. Penn was reaching his hand over to me, but shaking his head at me at the same time.

The guy sitting at the table with them, eating his lunch with them, was Slade. He had somehow managed to befriend them. They didn’t know that he had been there at the beginning of all of this. And that because I didn’t say anything, or do anything, he had been left behind to fend for himself after we had run off. I was positive they didn’t know he had been the one to send me away from HOME, and away from them. Although they had all known he was at the door when that happened. There was a good chance they didn’t remember because they didn’t know him. But I remembered. They never really saw what had happened to me, so they probably wouldn’t have thought Slade was to blame even though he was the reason I was sent away. I felt anger rising inside me, and it filled my cheeks with its burning heat. If only I could get up, walk over there and smack him in the face. But I didn’t even know if that would make me feel better about what had happened.