Finding Jordie: Things aren't always what they seem. (The Love Lies Bleeding Series Book 1) (36 page)

RACHEL CANCELED HER TRIP
with Tyler for that upcoming weekend so she could dress shop with me and Emma. She also worked that weekend since I was informed I was no longer permitted to be on my feet long hours per Nathan’s request—well, demand. We were all going to Vancouver on the sixth and on the morning of the ninth we were going to fly to Vegas. Nathan’s parents, Kelly, and the kids were going to meet us out there on the ninth as well. His parents were so thrilled when we told them the news of the wedding. Just as I expected his mother knew immediately why we were opting for a Vegas wedding so quickly. She gushed about how she had dreamed of having grandbabies and now she would have two. She included Emma in that category, which just made me adore her more. For whatever reason, I had been blessed to be surrounded by the most loving people I’d ever met.

The alarm clock was going off in my ear and I groggily wondered why Nathan hadn’t turned it off yet. I reached over and smacked my hand around until it went silent. I looked around for Nathan. The suitcases weren’t by the bedroom door any longer so I guessed he was all ready to go and had taken them downstairs. I smiled, knowing he was just as eager to marry me as I was him. I could see my dress hanging in its bag over the door. My smile hurt my cheeks as I happily hopped out of bed and called downstairs.

“Nathan, can you get Emma up, please, if she isn’t already? I’ll be right down. Going to take a quick shower since I’m sure there is like zero hot water left,” I called down to him lightheartedly.

“All right.” He sounded distracted.

Hmmm, that’s not like him...

“Babe, are you okay? You don’t have cold feet or something, do you?” I teased.

“I’m fine, on the phone for work is all. Go shower. There’s plenty of hot water—I haven’t showered yet.” He didn’t sound quite like himself but I shrugged it off. It was early and he was talking work so he had his game face on. A six A.M. work call had to be important. I didn’t give it a second thought as I walked into the bathroom.

“Look at you.” I stood in front of my bathroom mirror and stared at my reflection. After the trip I would be Mrs. Jordan Marie Harper. I had barely recognized myself with the gigantic smile that had taken over my face. I slipped out of Nathan’s boxers and T-shirt—my regular pajamas now—and turned on the water.

While I showered, I daydreamed about my dress and how Nathan would look in his tux. I envisioned the room we were going to have the ceremony and dinner in. I stood there with my hands against the wall completely consumed by my thoughts as the hot water cascaded over my body. I heard the door click and felt the cooler air mix with the warm. I smiled.

“Off the phone? Better hurry up if you want to get a hot shower, I’m hogging it all up for revenge.”

Nathan didn’t answer me though. He just put his hands on my waist.

“Everything okay?” My back was still turned to him as I grabbed his hands and pulled him close to me. I immediately felt him against my behind.

A pit in my stomach bubbled up the second our bodies touched. He pulled me in tighter and closer to him. It took me less than a second to realize that the touch was terrifyingly not Nathan’s and disturbingly, oddly familiar.

“What the fu—” I screamed but my mouth was covered by a man’s hand as he shoved me against the wall and pressed his naked body hard against mine.

“Shut your fucking mouth, you despicable whore,” he hissed angrily in my ear.

My body immediately went numb.

It’s him, it’s that voice.

The combination of his hand covering my mouth and my right cheek pressed so hard against the tile made it difficult to breathe. I looked as far left as my eyes could reach, attempting to see his face, but I couldn’t because his chin rested on my right shoulder.

“Emma!” I attempted to scream, but it was muffled.

“Scream again and I’ll kill them both, Jordan. Do you understand what I’m saying?” He spoke calmly in my ear that time.

She’s alive. So is Nathan. So he says. How did this happen? Why is this strangely familiar to me? Déjà vu?

I started to shiver, partly because the water had turned frigid but mostly because I was beyond frightened.

“I’m going to remove my hand from your mouth now, Jordan. If you scream, I’ll kill them both while you watch. I promise you that,” he whispered in a rough voice.

I nodded frantically as I tried to silence my sobs.

“But seeing you like this...” His voice was no longer rough, it was dark and scary. He pressed against me harder as he ran his free hand up the inside of my thigh. When he reached my sex he stopped. “Seeing you like this, well, you can feel for yourself what it does to me, Jordan.”

My muffled frantic sobs were useless. He was by far overpowering me. I felt him rub himself against my behind and I cried louder.

“Shut it. I have no interest in used goods such as yourself.” He pushed himself off me. He turned the water off and removed his hand from my mouth.

I didn’t dare breathe a word.

“Good girl.” He sounded satisfied.

He grabbed a fistful of my hair and forcefully turned my head straight as he tugged on it hard, leading me out of the shower. I let out a small whimper and he shushed me.

“You want to act like an unfaithful whore? You’re going to be treated like one.” He shoved a towel at me.

Unfaithful whore? Me? He has the wrong...oh my god, no, no, no, this wasn’t possible.

Like a tidal wave, the pit rose from my belly again, it all coming together at once. I was in total denial but at the same time I finally understood
why
it had all been so familiar to me.

“No. This can’t be happening,” I wailed and my sobs turned into a flood of tears through my screams. He jostled my head around hard, tightening his grip on my hair, and threw me on the bed face down.

“Jordan! Jordan! Mommy! Jordan!” I heard Nathan and Emma downstairs. An unfamiliar voice told them to shut up, followed by what I guessed was someone getting punched.

“No, leave him alone!” Emma cried.

“Emma, no. Be quiet, please baby!” I called out to her but his hand quickly muffled my attempt.

“Emma, please sweetie, I’m okay. Please, honey, please just stay quiet. You’ll be okay. I promise you.” I heard Nathan try to soothe her, and I was pretty sure he was hit again. Emma was sobbing but she didn’t say a word.

Good girl, honey. Just do what Nathan says.

“You know I won’t hurt her, Jordan. Him on the other hand, Mister Hollywood down there...” He trailed off as he picked up his clothing off the bed. I still couldn’t see his face. When he was finished getting dressed he pulled me up by my hair.

“Are you ready to behave yourself?” He was sardonic and his voice was almost recognizable by that point. I still couldn’t believe that it was all happening. I nodded in compliance and he loosened his grip, freeing his hand from my throbbing scalp.

I was ready to face him. I was ready to see with my own eyes what I never thought I’d see again, what I never dreamed would ever be possible. I turned my body slowly, preparing myself. As I stared at the floor, I could barely speak the words, but somehow I found the will. It was all sinking in. I lifted my head up straight but my eyes were still shut tight. I finished wrapping the towel around me and took a deep breath.

“Why, Jason?” I breathed in a whisper, slowly opening my eyes.

There before me stood my deceased husband Jason, alive. I gasped and sat on the edge of the bed. “I... I don’t understand? How? How is this possible? You died! You’re dead! We buried you!” I was sobbing, out of control.

“Shut up,” he yelled belligerently as the back of his hand smacked my face hard. I cried out in pain and Nathan yelled for me, begging Jason to just leave me alone.

“Come beat on me, not her. Come beat on me, you sorry piece of shit!”

“Ohhh, don’t worry that pretty face of yours. I’m coming for you next.”

“No, please Jason,
please
don’t do this. He didn’t know, I didn’t know! They told me you died.” I frantically shook my head back and forth while I explained and begged at the same time, but he slapped me and went straight for my hair once again.

I see some things will never change.
“Nathan is the first relationship I’ve had since...”

“I’m not interested, Jordan. Get dressed,” he demanded as he shoved me onto the floor. I landed right next to my wedding dress. I glanced at it for a split second and began to sob all over again. This was supposed to be the day I left to become the wife of the greatest man I’d ever known. Instead I sat beaten and bruised on the floor, staring at my dress. Jason must have caught my quick glance.

“Put it on, now.” He gestured with his head to my gown.

“What?” I sniffled. That got me out of my pity party pretty quick. “No. Fuck that. Fuck you. I’ll be damned before I waste that gorgeous dress on you.” I spit at him. He lunged towards me and I scrambled backwards to the bathroom but he caught me.

“Fuck! Why, Jason? Why? Why?” I shrieked as he smacked me, splitting my lip open. I curled up in a ball and cried in pain.

You are stronger than this. You don’t deserve this. You need to get up. Fight. Fight for your lives.

“Please stop hurting her!” Emma screamed through her tears and Jason stopped mid strike, releasing my head and shoving me backwards.

“Get dressed, I said.” He tossed me Nathan’s boxers and t-shirt. As I dressed myself my mind raced for a solution, a way out.

My gun. I need to get to my gun.

“Can I grab my sweater from the closet?” I asked in a small voice as I stared Jason right in the eyes.

“Go on.”

I got to my feet and wobbled a bit. I felt so weak as I walked to the closet.

Get it together, Jordan. They need you. You need to be strong for your family.

“I don’t think so, Jordan. We both know your clothing isn’t in that closet. Besides, I’m quite certain I have what you’re looking for.” His lip quirked up sarcastically as he removed something from the back of his pants.

My gun. Shit, shit, shit. Think of something, fast.

“It’s a habit, after my home was invaded and ransacked.” I side-eyed him as I took my hand off the doorknob. “Things were rearranged.”

“You’re still a shitty liar.” He smiled and for a moment I saw my husband, not the monster he had become. I walked toward him as he picked up the picture of Nathan and me off of the dresser. His smile faded and my Jason was once again dead. I took a deep breath and swallowed hard. If I was going to get us out of this situation, I was going to have to play my cards right.

Suck it up, Jordan. You can do this.

“Jason, what happened? I... I don’t understand.” I made sure my tone screamed empathy as I took a few more steps towards him slowly. I used every fiber of my being to appear concerned and interested, when in reality all I wanted to do was claw his heart out with my bare hands for all the shit he’d put us through. For all the horrible things he’d done in the past, during our marriage and, even more so, for the horrific things he was doing right then.

“It’s actually a funny story...” he began lightheartedly but his face turned stone sober. “Actually, it’s not, so I’ll spare you the details and give you the short version.” He sneered. “Husband is off at war. Husband is captured by insurgents. Husband fights and struggles to stay alive to make it home to his wife and daughter. Wife takes daughter and leaves their home to start a new life because she can’t be bothered waiting around for captured husband. I had nothing left to live for so I stayed with the ones that did give a shit about me. You know that old saying, Jordie. C’mon now, when in Rome? And there you have it, that about sums it up, wouldn’t you say?”

“What are you talking about? I couldn’t be bothered to wait for you? I was told you were dead, you crazy son of a bitch. I sat by the phone for four months, Jason. I made a thousand phone calls a day trying to find out what happened to you, if you were all right. I died every single day I didn’t hear from you. The general came to the house and told me you were dead. I buried you.
We
buried you. I had no choice but to move off post. What is wrong with you? Did you honestly believe I walked away? After all the shit I put up with from you from that fucked up head of yours, do you think I’d just walk away?” I stood in his face and screamed.