Finding June (24 page)

Walking through the carnival was a surreal
experience after having spent so much time dressed up in
old-fashioned vaudeville clothing. The plum and cranberry colored
striped tents surrounding us were all bursting with such an array
of noises and smells that my senses were going crazy. Orange paper
lanterns were strung between the tall oak trees above us, casting
jittery shadows on the grass underfoot. All around there were
bubble machines, making the air thick with shiny, soapy bubbles
looking like glass orbs drifting on the wind.

“This is perfect,” I said happily.

“I’m glad you like it,” Joseph replied, his
face glowing with pride at his discovery.

We didn’t talk about the whole "Lukas" issue
once as we went on the Ferris wheel, ran through the fun house, and
did everything you were supposed to do at a proper carnival. I
picked at a large globe of pink cotton candy as we walked through
the rows of booths selling garlands for your hair and other things
you’d think were a good idea at a carnival but would get home and
never wear again.

“Do you hear that?” Joseph asked as we neared
the end of the booths and came to a darker area in the park, thick
with oak trees. I strained my ears for a moment.

“The music?” I asked. I could hear the
distinct sound of organ music traveling on the wind. It had been
faint at first, but now that I recognized what it was, it somehow
seemed more obvious.

“I think it’s getting louder,” Joseph
remarked, his eyes focused on nothing in particular in front of
him, as if he could sense where the music was coming from without
seeing the source. “Must be an organ grinder walking around,” he
concluded, coming out of his daze to look at me. We were leaning
against a massive oak tree, separate from the rest of the chaos of
the carnival, but still watching it like an old favorite movie.

“Thanks for bringing me here,” I said. “Today
was kind of hectic and scary . . . it’s nice to do something normal
with a friend and not worry about if I’m messing it up or costing
the studio a bunch of money or anything like that.”

“I’m glad you still want to do this kind of
stuff with me,” he answered, sliding down the tree trunk so that he
was sitting on the soft grass. I joined him on the ground, letting
our shoulders touch as we leaned against each other. “School has
been horrible without you. I think Xani’s becoming more aggressive
without you to scare her off.”

I covered my mouth with the huge ball of
cotton candy to hide my laugh. “I’m so sorry,” I said with a
giggle. “How many times has she made you rehearse your kissing
scenes?”

Joseph shuddered next to me at the question.
“Oh my gosh, June, you have no idea. It’s been like running across
the 405 during rush hour and trying not to get hit! She follows me
everywhere,” he exclaimed, his eyes wide and his smile bright. This
was the Joseph I loved so much—the fun Joseph who could talk to me
about anything and turn it into a joke.

I grabbed his face and turned it toward me,
making his lips pucker out like a fish as I squeezed his cheeks.
“Hmmm, your lips
are
looking a bit chapped,” I joked,
releasing his face and turning back to watch a pair of clowns walk
past us toward their cast trailer.

“It’s my burden to bear,” he said with mock
sadness, shaking his head slowly. “I have such a hard time keeping
women from falling in love with me.”

“Well, if it gets to be too much to handle,
I’ll come rough her up for you.”

“Yeah, because I could see you ‘roughing’
someone up. What are you going to do? Lillian Gish her to death?”
he asked with a laugh.

“Something like that,” I replied, hitting him
lightly on the head with my cotton candy.

“Well, if that’s how you intend to fight,
you’ll need all the blessings you can get. Let’s get you home so
you don’t sleep through church tomorrow.”

“Yes sir,” I said with a mock salute. “And
Joseph just think—in three weeks, the play will be over and Xani
won’t have a good excuse to attack you anymore . . . though I’m not
sure that’ll stop her.”

“Thank you for those comforting words, June,”
Joseph replied, helping me to my feet so that he could take me
home.

CHAPTER 20

It was an entire week before I finally saw
Lukas again, but that didn't stop me from thinking about him and
all of his perfection twenty-four/seven. The rest of the cast
continued to film scenes throughout the week, but I had finished up
my last scene for that episode on Saturday, and therefore had more
than a week until I started working on the next episode.

I was slightly shocked when he actually
texted me a week before, asking if I would spend the next Saturday
with him. It took me all of two seconds to reply with an adamant
yes. Now, as I clung to his strong form while he drove his
motorcycle through the city, I replayed my week’s worth of Lukas
Leighton fantasies.

Since Lukas had picked me up at noon, we had
already eaten lunch, done some shopping, and strolled through the
park. I wasn’t sure what else he would want to do, or how long it
would be before he got bored with me, but he seemed perfectly
content to continue driving me around the city just to walk around
and talk. I did my best to remember all of the bad things Joseph,
Candice and Benjamin had said about Lukas, but no matter how
rational I tried to be, that image of Lukas didn’t match up with
how he’d treated me. He didn’t stand to gain much from being nice
or spending so much time with me, and yet he went out of his way to
do both. It didn’t seem like the actions of a person who was really
a scumbag.

Lukas pulled up to a little sidewalk café and
helped me off his motorcycle, not letting go of my hand as we took
a seat at a small table. I was vaguely aware of the fact that
everyone was watching us (or Lukas, at least) but I was so caught
up in his bright blue eyes that I hardly noticed the stares.

“So, when do you start filming the next
episode? I’ve hated not having you on set this week,” Lukas said,
holding my hand over the small round table. I rested my free hand
on my chin and kept my eyes locked on his, attempting to not be so
obviously infatuated. (And failing miserably, I might add.)

“I think I shoot my first scene on Monday,” I
answered, glad that I’d get to see Lukas soon no matter what. Who
said dating people you work with is a bad idea? It just meant that
even when Lukas and I were too busy with work to make plans outside
of shoots, we’d still be able to see each other.

“That’s good. At least now I won’t have to
make excuses to see you,” he said with a winning smile, still
holding my hand and turning me into a puddle with every word he
said. The sun was setting now, and I was surprised by how late it
had gotten. I could have sworn Lukas had just picked me up a few
hours ago.

As the waiter came to our table and took our
order, I could feel my phone buzzing in my purse. I glanced down at
it but didn’t pick it up to see who was calling, not wanting Lukas
to think I was being rude.

“So June, what do you think you’ll do after
you’re done on the show? Are you going to keep auditioning for TV,
or do you think you’ll try to move toward movies?” he asked,
sounding almost like a reporter for a newspaper.

My phone buzzed twice, indicating that I had
a new voicemail.

“I don’t know. Honestly, I think I’ll
audition for any part I can get. I’m not too picky. Although I’d
love to be in a movie,” I answered dreamily. I didn’t know for sure
(obviously, since I’d never been in a movie) but it seemed like
movie sets were much more glamorous than TV sets. But then again,
what did I know? Until I’d been on
Forensic Faculty
, I
hadn’t known they had stand-ins just to test the lighting. “What
about you? Do you have any big movie plans coming up?”

Lukas’s face broke into an easy smile at my
question, the light from the candle on our table casting an orange
glow over his skin. The sun had now completely set, leaving us
surrounded by the blue night, broken up only by the orange globe of
light cast by our candle. I felt my phone buzz again—another call
coming through—and I considered checking to see who it was. That
is, until Lukas squeezed my hand and reminded me exactly why I was
there.

“I’ve only done a few films, but I’m trying
to move away from TV,” he said with a shrug, as if this would be
the easiest thing in the world. I guess when you’re Lukas Leighton,
life just works itself out for you.

“Do you have any auditions lined up?” I
asked, genuinely interested in what his plans were for the future.
A small part of my mind was trying to work out who would be calling
me so many times in a row. I could feel a small nagging at the back
of my mind, as if I had forgotten something obvious and important,
but I couldn’t quite place what it was. Something told me it had to
do with my phone, which was now buzzing again.

“I’ve got one for an epic action movie that
should be fun,” he said offhandedly. “
They
asked
me
to audition, so I’m not too worried about it.”

“Uh-huh,” I answered, now completely
distracted by the fourth phone call I was receiving.

“Are you okay?” Lukas asked, obviously taking
note of my lack of interest in his story.

“What? Yeah, sorry it’s just . . . I’m really
sorry. I don’t mean to be rude, but I just need to check my phone
really fast,” I said.

“That’s fine,” Lukas said, though I could see
in his face that he was slightly annoyed that I wasn’t enraptured
by his story.

As I slid my phone open, the screen read
four missed calls
. All four of my calls were from Joseph,
which gave me a sick feeling in my stomach. I had definitely
forgotten something important, but it just wasn’t coming to me for
some reason. Joseph had also left me two voicemails and four text
messages. Not wanting to be completely rude to Lukas, I opted for
reading the texts rather than listening to the voicemails. As I
read my four missed messages, a feeling of horrible guilt engulfed
me.

8:04 PM:
June, I’m at your house all
dressed up and ready to go. You’d better not be getting your hair
done or something ridiculous like that.

8:07 PM:
Would it be cheesy if I bought
you a corsage for Homecoming? Not that I did. Because I’m not
cheesy at all . . . I swear.

8:10 PM:
Annette just said she thought you
were out with Lukas. You’re not still out with him are you?

8:20 PM:
June, did you forget about
me?

Reading Joseph’s last message to me, I could
feel the blood draining from my face.

I had forgotten about him.

I hadn’t just forgotten about him—I had
completely stood him up. He had made such a big deal about buying
my Homecoming ticket and making sure everything would be perfect,
and I hadn’t even had the decency to show up.

“Are you okay?” Lukas asked, pulling me from
my mental crisis. “You don’t look so good."

“I need to get home. As fast as you can
possibly get me there,” I said urgently, throwing my phone into my
bag and jumping up from the table.

“So, no dinner, then?” Lukas asked, following
quickly behind me as I tore through the café toward his
motorcycle.

*****

It felt like it took hours to get back to
Simi Valley from Los Angeles, and I was helpless to make the trip
go faster. I tried to think of something to tell Joseph when I got
there, but there wasn’t anything I could say. I had completely
forgotten about him and there was no way around it. I was a
horrible friend to the boy who’d been my best friend since before I
could crawl. My phone buzzed a few more times as Lukas drove not
nearly fast enough on the freeway toward my house, and I could only
imagine what these new texts from Joseph said.

When we finally pulled onto Pullman Avenue, I
couldn’t decide if I was relieved or terrified by the fact that
Joseph’s green VW Bug was still parked outside of my house. The
whole ride home had convinced me how little I could say to Joseph
to apologize for what I’d done, and I’d half hoped that I could
take the coward’s way out and not have to face him just yet. But as
Lukas pulled into the driveway, I could see Joseph sitting in the
front seat of his car. I couldn’t see his face clearly enough to
read his expression, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out what
it probably looked like.

“I really have to go talk to him. Thanks for
today though,” I said absent-mindedly to Lukas over my shoulder.
Lukas said something in return that I didn’t quite catch and rode
off down the street in mere seconds.

I had walked quickly to Joseph’s car, wanting
to get to him as fast as possible to explain myself, but as I
reached him, I stopped outside, not opening the door or making any
move to enter the passenger seat. If I was being honest, I was
scared out of my mind. If I had been in the right and could explain
myself to Joseph, I wouldn’t have hesitated letting him know
exactly what had happened. But as it was, my only excuse was, "I
forgot about you."

Joseph looked at me through his dirty
windshield for a moment, his face holding only resignation and not
the anger I expected to see there. He slowly opened his door and
got out of the car, walking over to where I stood on the sidewalk.
He was dressed up in an old-fashioned brown suit and tie with his
wild hair tamed and gelled into place. He held a see-through
plastic box with a white flower in it.

“Did you forget?”

He didn't say anything else. He didn't have
to. Those three words caused the heat to rise up in my cheeks and
tears to threaten in the corners of my eyes.

“I didn’t mean to. I just . . . didn’t think
about it,” I said slowly. Joseph brought his gaze up to mine, his
eyes sad and serious.

“I think that might hurt more than if you had
just decided you didn’t want to go with me,” he muttered. “I wasn’t
even worth remembering.”