Finding Justice (21 page)

“Since your dad?”

“Since Dad.”

“Right.”

Silence. Cat pursed her lips together. Nothing else needed to
be said. He knew addiction. He knew the grip of its long-stretching fingers,
knew its gradual and destructive path. He had lived in the midst of its
all-consuming hunger for both for the victim and anyone they held dear. The
emotional strain of what he’d done and what he wanted to make better showed in
every line on his face, every beat of his heart.

He coughed. “You want an end to it? Is that what you’re
saying?”

Shame consumed her day after day even though Cat knew it was
irrational and unsubstantiated. She’d told on her mum. Told on her to a boy who
only knew her as one of the most glamorous mums in the world.

Tears burned her eyes. “Yes.”

“Does Julia?”

“I don’t know.”

“Then there’s nothing you can do right now.”

“Sometimes she does, but then hours later she’s drunk and any
hope I had is lying at the bottom of an empty bottle.”

“She has to want this for herself, Cat.”

“I know, and I want you to help me show her.”

His gaze drifted over her face. He nodded. “Okay.”

Blowing out her held breath, Cat returned his smile and
tightened her fingers around his.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

J
AY
STOOD
ON
THE
PAVEMENT
and stared up at the
three-bedroom end terrace house as though it were Dracula’s castle. Evening was
falling and the facade of the once-white painted house looked grayer and uglier
than he’d dared to remember. Filthy nicotine-stained net curtains hung
haphazardly at the windows, the small front garden was strewn with wind-whipped
sheets of newspaper, tin cans and beer bottles. A tiny window hung open
downstairs and the smell of cannabis drifted along the evening breeze, tainting
the prewar housing estate with its invisible evil.

Cat inhaled a shaky breath beside him but Jay didn’t turn. He
didn’t want to see the look in her eyes.

“You ready?”

Jay exhaled. “As I’ll ever be.”

“Jay, look at me.”

He turned and met her beautiful green eyes. She looked somehow
lighter, happier, more determined.

She made to touch him and then dropped her hand to her side as
though remembering where they were. The skin at her neck shifted. “We’re in this
together, okay? You know my stuff. I know yours. When we go inside there, I
won’t be looking at anything and imagining how you were. I’ll be inside that
dump as a cop and a cop only, okay?”

Tension rippled along his shoulders, making his neck ache and
his hands curl into fists at his sides. “Okay.”

She turned back to the house. “It’s imperative nobody gets the
slightest idea there might be something personal between us. If they do, they
have the perfect weakness to attack.”

He followed her gaze as fury for the past and present burned
inside his veins. “I’m not going to let anyone in there touch either of us.
They’ll have to kill me first.”

“That’s exactly what worries me.”

Jay drew in a long breath and exhaled. Whatever happened behind
the chipped and peeling front door, he was supposed to pretend Cat was nothing
more than a cop investigating a murder. Not the love of his life, not the woman
he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

The heat of her stare burned at his temple. “I’m carrying Mace
and that’s the first thing I use if anything gets nasty, okay? If you don’t let
me take the first step, you could find yourself in front of a judge. Jay?”

He couldn’t drag his gaze from the house.

“Jay, answer me or we get back in the car and leave. If you
can’t promise me you’ll let me lead this, I can’t promise I won’t come back here
on my own.”

His suppressed anger heightened. She had him by the balls and
damn well knew it.

“Fine. I promise.”

She blew out a breath. “Right. Then let’s do this.”

They moved forward and when they reached the door, Jay rapped
his knuckles on it in a succinct and rapid motion. The mail slot at waist level
flipped outward and Jay leaned down, his hands splayed on his knees.

“Hey, it’s me.”

“Bloody hell. Jay?”

“Open the door, Captain. Got someone with me.”

The mail slot opened higher, trembled and clanked shut again.
Jay sent up a silent prayer for God’s help as the sound of three locks being
shunted back echoed against the door. He turned and met Cat’s eyes. She stared
back at him, her green gaze softening for an imperceptible second as though
reassuring him before they turned ice-cold once more.

Nothing would happen to her. Nothing.

The door slowly opened and the smell wafting from the small
open window blasted Jay’s face in a cloud of unwelcome remembrance. Resisting
the urge to reach back and take Cat’s hand, he stepped over the threshold. She
followed him inside. Seconds later the door slammed shut behind them. Jay fought
the memories that rushed into his brain and sped his heart. This was for Sarah.
For Cat. For him.

Captain, an emancipated man/boy of nineteen, worked as the door
lookout in exchange for his drug of choice. The boy’s life was as wasted as
anyone’s ever could be. Jay’s hands curled into fists. One by one, he wanted to
save them all. The decision to do something, anything poured into his blood on a
wave of angry revulsion. He had run from his demons for too long, and now he
wanted nothing more than to strike them down and bury them alive.

Once Sarah’s killer was found, he would come back here. He’d
come back and get this place shut down.

Once he threw the bolts back into place, Captain turned his
weary-eyed stare on Cat. His eyes traveled over her from hair to shoes and back
again. Although Cat was dressed in jeans and a vest top, Captain leered at her
as though she were naked and bitter anger shot into Jay’s throat.

“Oi, Captain, look at me. Not her.”

The boy turned. “Who’s your friend?” He swiped his scabbed
forearm over his mouth. “She want turning?”

Jay’s anger burned hotter and he stepped toward Captain, barely
controlling the need to clench the boy’s chin in his fingers. Aware of Cat’s
gaze on him, Jay fought the memory the smell coming from Captain evoked, the sad
truth there had been a time when Jay lingered in the same rancid cloud of
self-hate.

A storm of emotion churned inside him as Jay glared into the
boy’s eyes. “This is Detective Sergeant—”

“You brought a cop here?” Panic showed in Captain’s gaze as it
shot to Cat over Jay’s shoulder. “Have you got a death wish?”

Jay grabbed his arm and dragged the boy through the hallway and
into the back room where he knew the most people would be. He didn’t need to
turn around to know Cat was right behind him. He’d never been more aware of
another person in his life. Impatience and desperation to get her out of there
burned like lit paraffin through his blood. He should be alone with these
people, not exposing her to a life that filled him with self-hatred and shame.
Everything wafted over him and seeped into his pores, he would do something to
change this if it took his last breath. No more.

He lingered in the doorway, squinting his eyes, willing them to
adjust before someone who might be lucid jumped him. After a moment, he pushed
Captain forward and stepped toward the black sheet hanging at the window. He
yanked it down and twilight spilled across the room in a hazy white spear.

Jay froze as memories immobilized him. Three men and two women
in different states of undress lay in varying levels of consciousness against
each other. One or two of them lifted their hands above their eyes, shielding
them against the unexpected brightness.

Captain stared. “What’s this about? What’s a cop doing
here?”

“Jay.”

Cat’s voice was abrupt behind him. Jay whirled around. His
heart leaped into his throat. Renowned dealer and all-round underground boss,
Kyle Jordon, stood a head-height above her...smiling like all his damn
Christmases had come at once.

Jay’s eyes locked with his as blood roared in his ears.
“Kyle.”

The older man’s smile grew to a grin. “Jay, my man. Look at
you. Never thought I’d see the day you’d step back in here.” He ran his gaze
over Cat’s hair. “And with a damn sexy cop, no less.”

Stepping closer, Jay met Kyle’s eyes as adrenaline ripped
through his veins and with it, the growing knowledge he’d knock Kyle out if he
so much as laid a single finger on Cat. This was his fault. His fault this
beautiful woman was in such a godforsaken hole. His eyes shifted to hers and she
stared back confidently, her hand already poised on the Mace she concealed at
her waist.

“Can you spare us a few minutes for a chat?” Jay shifted his
gaze to Kyle.

Kyle grinned and gestured toward the doorway, indicating they
leave the partially comatose party and head into the equally filthy and squalid
kitchen.

Cat cleared her throat and stepped away from him. “Why don’t
you lead the way? I’d hate to get lost in here.”

He smiled. “Now, we wouldn’t want that...although, I wouldn’t
mind a quick game of hide-and-seek with you, pretty lady.”

Jay clenched his fists as Cat kept her gaze level with Kyle’s,
her entire demeanor screaming control. She smiled. “A pretty lady who could
quite easily lift her knee and ram it in your gonads before you had time to draw
a breath.”

He laughed. “Yum. She’s as fiery as hell, too.”

Cat brushed past him. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll find my own way
because if I have to stand here smelling your breath much longer, I’ll throw
up.”

Biting back a smile as pride filled his chest, Jay watched Kyle
eye Cat’s retreating backside and slowly walked toward him. At six foot two,
Kyle wasn’t small, and when Jay stood in front of him, their gazes were
level.

“She’s here investigating a murder, not your drug pushing. So
back off and just answer her questions, okay?”

Kyle arched an eyebrow. “Are you telling me what to do in my
house?”

Jay leaned closer to him and huffed out a quiet laugh. “Your
house? You’re about as likely to spend a night in this place as you are of
sharing another ounce of breathing space with Sergeant Forrester.”

The older man laughed, his wide grin revealing teeth that must
have cost him a good chunk of his illegal fortune. “Well, well, well. I think
somebody’s got a soft spot for the sergeant. Interesting.”

“Just answer our questions and we’ll leave.” Jay hated that his
feelings for Cat were so damn transparent he might as well have had an “I love
Cat” placard hanging around his neck. “Neither of us wants any trouble, so let’s
get this done and then we’ll be on our way...unless I decide to make it my
personal mission to save the people screwing up their lives like I could have
mine.”

“Aww, you want to help them?” Kyle’s smile dissolved and his
eyes flashed dangerously.

Anger burned in Jay’s gut, making his heart race and his head
pound. “Nothing you do scares me, Kyle. I’m sober and I’m ready for you.”

“Have you two finished?”

Cat’s voice barely penetrated the veil of suppressed rage
beating around Jay’s body. She stepped in between them and splayed a hand on
each of their chests. His gaze remained locked on Kyle’s as Jay trembled with
fury.

“I want the pair of you to move into the kitchen right now
before I call for backup,” Cat said quietly. “None of us wants that. Not me, not
Jay and especially not you, Kyle. Now, will the pair of you drop the
testosterone face-off and get into the room that I assume once resembled a
kitchen?”

Cat walked out. Kyle was the first to break eye contact and
follow her.

Knowing he was in serious danger of blowing sky-high any chance
of either of them obtaining vital information, Jay focused on controlling the
guilt, shame and sadness coursing through him. He drew in a long breath through
flared nostrils and followed the man he once thought was his savior. The
knowledge stuck like a rock in his throat.

* * *

C
AT
’
S
HEART
BEAT
LIKE
a drum and her hands were
clammy. She leaned against the counter, then thought again and stepped away,
hoping nothing unrecognizable was stuck to her backside. The place reeked of
stale food, drugs and sweat. She swallowed, not wanting to inhale. The low hum
of Jay’s and Kyle’s voices stopped and she crossed her arms to stare hard at the
doorway as she waited for them to appear.

Kyle came first. His scowl turned to a grin.

“Why didn’t you sit down?” he asked. “There ain’t nothing on
those seats that wouldn’t come out in a sixty-degree wash.” He laughed at his
own wit.

Cat sniffed. “Sixty degrees? The water will have to be past
boiling to tackle the smell on my clothes when I leave here, let alone anything
else.” She uncrossed her arms and slid her hands into her jeans pockets. “Why
don’t you sit down so we can have a little chat?”

He walked farther into the room and Jay came in behind him, his
expression a telltale picture of how hard being back in the crack house was for
him. His brow was deeply furrowed, his jaw tight. Cat sent up a silent prayer to
God asking Him to give Jay the strength to get through the next fifteen minutes
or however long it took for her to get what she wanted from Kyle. She briefly
met his eyes over Kyle’s shoulder.

They were stone cold, looking through her rather than at her.
He was gone, lost in his own soul-destroying memories. Cat’s nerves hitched a
little higher. Jay needed to hold on to whatever sorrow whirled around inside
him. Anything less could ruin the only chance they had of gaining cooperation
from a massive player in the drug scene. Cat had a feeling no one would talk to
them if Kyle said so, and if anyone did, he would order their legs gone and
possibly their lives.

“You going to stand there staring at my boy Jay all day,
Sergeant, or is there something you wanted to ask me?”

Cat turned. Kyle pulled a cigarette box from his inside pocket
and shot one into his mouth. “Got things to do, places to be.” The cigarette
bounced on each word as he pulled a silver lighter from his pocket. He stared at
Cat above the flame, the smoke rising between them.

She took a step closer and Kyle grinned like a maniac. “Is
there something funny, Kyle?”

He laughed. “If you and my man aren’t bouncing the bed springs,
my radar is way off.”

Heat pinched Cat’s cheeks. “Why don’t you shut up and sit
down?”

He held his hands up in mock surrender but made no move toward
the chair behind him. “Didn’t mean nothing by it. I think it’s sweet a junkie
can end up shagging a cop of your caliber.”

Every part of her trembled with suppressed annoyance that he’d
picked up on something between her and Jay. Cat forced a soft smile. “What would
you know about a woman’s caliber? Judging by the haunted look on the women’s
faces in that other room, you don’t differentiate between man, woman and child
when you’re dealing. As long as you get your money, huh, Kyle?”