Finding Justice (6 page)

Cat squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn’t tell him; it was too
hard. Shame wavered inside her. Shame for her mum and herself that their lives
had changed so completely upon the demise of just one man—her father. Jay was
clearly braver than she would ever be. She respected him all the more for
it.

Twenty minutes later, with her hair wrapped in one towel and
her body in another, Cat padded barefoot into the bedroom. She sat down on the
bed and pulled her tote bag toward her, fumbling inside for her cell phone.
Finding it, she dialed home.

Chris picked up. “Hi, Sis. How’s it going?”

Ignoring his question, Cat drew in a breath. “How’s Mum?”

Silence.

Cat frowned, annoyance prickling at her nerves. “Chris?”

“She’s okay. She’s had a drink and gone to bed.”

“In what kind of state?”

“Coherent, laughing, wondering if you’ll have sex with Jay
Garrett again.”

Cat’s eyes widened. “What? She said that?”

He laughed. “Yep, kind of wondering the same thing myself.”

Feeling as though she was in a parallel universe where she was
the only one not finding their mum’s alcoholism amusing, Cat glared into the
empty room. “Looking after Mum isn’t a game, Chris. She’ll try to lull you into
a false sense of security. You don’t know what it’s like—”

“Listen, I’ve thought about everything you said...or shouted
last week. You’re needed at the Cove. I can take care of Mum until you get
back...but when you do, things are going to change.”

Cat rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right. Didn’t you say you and
Melinda have set a wedding date? What are you going to do, ask Melinda if it’s
all right to move Mum into your new marital home for a while? You really think
one night of dealing with Mum and you know what’s what?”

“No, but Melinda is on board with this and no one is moving in
with anyone. Mum is moving out.”

Cat swallowed and pressed her hand to her stomach.
Rehabilitation. “What are you talking about?”

“Just concentrate on what you have to do there and leave Mum to
me, okay?” He blew out a breath. When he spoke again, his voice was softer.
“You’re there to find your friend’s killer. I can’t do that. Only you can.
Please. Just let me do the bit I can help with because there’s absolutely
nothing I can do to help Sarah.”

“Don’t try to distract me, Chris. You want to put Mum in rehab,
don’t you?”

“Yes.”

Cat fisted her hair back from her face as the habitual feeling
of helplessness stole over her, the same as it did every time she heard the word
rehab.
She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t fight
the feeling if she put her mum in rehab, she was turning her back on the woman
who did everything for her children until the day her husband died.

For twenty-two years, Julia Forrester loved her children, cared
for them and held them. What did they know about losing the love of their lives?
Chris loved Melinda and would, by God’s grace, have her for the rest of his
life, and Cat...Cat hoped to have her own love one day, too.

“Cat, I know what you’re thinking.” Chris’s voice cut through
her worry.

“No, you don’t. Do you think I haven’t tried that route?”

“I don’t know, have you?”

“Yes. Nowhere will take her until she admits there’s a problem,
and she won’t do that. You can’t just drive by and kick her out of the car in
the hope a kindly doctor will pick her up, brush her off and deliver her back to
you once she’s clean.”

“I know that.”

“Do you? Do you know what it’s like to beg the woman who
brought you up to admit she needs alcohol like most people need water?”

“Cat, stop.”

“No. I won’t stop until you start taking this seriously.”

“I am. I feel like shit for leaving you so long, okay? Let me
sort this out.”

Cat said nothing as fear of the unknown washed over her,
twisting her self-confidence into a ball and kicking it through the window. She
stood and paced the room. Her heart raced and panic seeped into her veins. She
needed to leave. To go home and be with her mum. It had been the pair of them
alone for so long...

“Cat? You still there?”

Tears spilled over her lids as she nodded. “Yes.”

“It’s my turn. I love you. Now get off this phone and find the
bastard who killed Sarah.”

“But—”

“I mean it. Go find him.”

The line went dead. Cat snapped the phone closed and tossed it
behind her onto the bed. She swiped at her cheeks. She wanted to believe Chris
could find a place where their mother would be well looked after and treated
with as much respect as Cat gave her, but he didn’t have the slightest clue what
he was talking about.

Cat hauled her suitcase off the floor and onto the bed. Fine.
If he thought he could do it, let him. Unzipping her suitcase, she forced her
mind once more to Jay’s past addiction. It wasn’t the fear her broad shoulders
couldn’t take anymore, but rather the more he told her about himself, the more
obligated she felt to tell him about the mess of her own life. That wasn’t why
she came. She was there for Sarah...and to think about what to do next at home.
Not to cry on the shoulder of a man she’d once loved.

Inspector Harris had agreed to four weeks’ leave of absence.
Would it be enough time to find Sarah’s killer? Either way, it had to be enough
for Cat to make a decision about her mum. She sometimes felt her life slipping
through her fingers, a life just as precious as the one so brutally taken from
her friend.

She wouldn’t waste it. Not anymore. She and Jay had some
serious work to do.

Minutes later, she headed downstairs. When she reached the
bottom step, she halted and stared around in wonder. The open-plan lower floor
of the cabin was enormous. She had walked through it in a dreamlike state when
they arrived, Jay’s revelation of his drug abuse had blocked out the sight and
sound of everything.

The massive space was breathtaking. A crisscross network of
beams and posts added strength and character, as did the russet-and-gold
oversize couches and cushions. Cases and cases of books and a plethora of
candles, framed photographs and paraphernalia added an abundance of color and
comfort.

It was a man’s place, but also one where any woman would
happily lie on the settee in Jay’s arms. Cat’s face heated and she hastily
looked around to check Jay wasn’t silently watching her as he so often had since
the train. She released her held breath. She was alone. Wandering farther into
the space, she headed for the living area and stood in front of the huge black
wood burner and stone fireplace. It was the focal point of the entire bottom
floor.

Smoothing her hand over the hammered metal surface, she smiled
with pride at what Jay had achieved. In spite of his problems, Jay Garrett had
survived and then some. Her stomach clenched and a strange tingle swept across
her skin as the sensation of his thighs clamped between hers on that single
night rushed through her.

She snapped her gaze to the staircase. What the hell was she
thinking? She struggled in vain to shift her mind to the only reason she was
there. To find Sarah’s killer. She knew enough about victim psychology to know
her association with Jay and the feelings it caused in her had nothing to do
with attraction—and everything to do with the need to go back to a time when she
was so happy.

A time when her dad was alive and her mum drank nothing more
than the occasional glass of wine with dinner.

Cat shook her head. Jay’s sobriety, lifestyle and access to
money couldn’t be further away from her life of alcohol dependency and its
effects. Regret washed over her. He called her successful. Beautiful. A cop with
a blossoming career, yet she felt like none of that. All her time and
self-confidence was wrapped up in that five-feet-five-inch package known as
Mum.
Her mind rarely strayed from working out
how to find her mum the help she desperately needed before the woman she loved
with every inch of her heart ended up dead.

“Cat?”

She jumped at the sound of his voice and when she spun around,
her breath caught. He’d showered, too. His damp hair was swept back, dark and
unruly...and impossibly sexy, dressed in black shoes, black jeans and a crisp,
pale blue shirt. Cat swallowed the ball of attraction that tugged at her
chest.

“Hey.” She smiled, hoping the tremor in her bottom lip wasn’t
visible from across the room.

“Are you okay? You look great, by the way.” He walked toward
her, lighting candles with a long-stemmed flint as he came closer.

“Thanks. You, too.” Cat tried and failed not to stare
openmouthed at the sight of his pretty impressive pecs beneath the shirt, and
the incredibly grabbable ass as he leaned up and down, reaching the shelves
holding votives and pillar lights. Her anger at him for not telling her a week
before about his addiction wavered.

He abruptly straightened and turned. Her face burned as if he’d
turned the flint on it. She was ogling him like a teenager in heat. He winked
before continuing with his walk around the room. Years had passed since she gave
Jay her virginity on the sands of Cowden Beach, but as she watched the light
dance and flicker over his face, Cat knew he’d been the right man to take it. He
was a good man then and a good man now—and God only knew she’d had enough
experience personally and professionally of the bad ones.

Please, God, let him be
innocent...

Cat looked to the floorboards, afraid to face him lest the
sudden urge to kiss him break free. “If I didn’t know you better, Jay Garrett,
I’d swear you bought this cabin just to torment me.”

“How so?”

Cat warmed hearing the smile in his voice. She met his eyes.
“You know damn well how many times I said I’d buy it when I won the lottery and
moved out here.”

His eyes gleamed brighter than they had since she arrived. “I
always knew one day you’d see sense and come back to live with me.”

Cat’s heart kicked.

A long moment of silence followed and she prayed he said
nothing else. Left the subject of them well alone, in the past, where it had to
stay no matter how tempting the urge to relive it. He was a suspect in a murder
investigation—and even if he wasn’t, there was no way she would drag his newly
successful and happy life into the mire of hers.

He took a step toward her and she resisted the impulse to step
back.

“Are you glad it’s mine, though?” he asked, his gaze wandering
over her face. “I bought it as soon as I could so nobody had the chance to take
it from me.”

“I can’t think of anyone better living here. Except me, of
course.”

He laughed. “It makes me happy to hear you say that. I didn’t
want to make another mistake.”

She frowned. “Another mistake? What do you mean?”

“From now on things are going to change.”

Cat stiffened. Was he talking about Sarah? “You said something
like that on the train. Do you want to tell me about it?”

He glanced away toward the French doors leading outside. “I
lost touch, Cat. Got so embroiled in the business, I lost touch with what
matters.”

“Like what?”

“Like Sarah, my family...you.” He faced her.

His pain was palpable. Not sure she had enough strength to
soothe him, Cat moved to create some space between them. “Sarah’s death has
shocked you, catapulted you back to a time when we were all safe and happy. You
can’t dwell on what-ifs and maybes. We all have to face what life throws at us
or it will win and we’ll lose.”

Images of her mum lying on the bathroom floor with her cheek in
a pool of her own vomit filled Cat’s mind. Another of Cat manhandling a vodka
bottle from her hand and hurling it out the back door into the garden. The
noises, the anger, the chaos whirled inside her mind. She swallowed the lump in
her throat.

“You don’t have to tell me about mistakes, Jay. Stuff happens.
It’s what we do about it that matters.” She exhaled, forcing the rare resentment
toward her mum from her body. She only became the bitter person she was so
ashamed of when she thought of the Cove or Jay. That was why she never made
contact with him. What was the point of fixating on the possibilities that could
have occurred in her life had her father lived?

His gaze lingered on her mouth before grazing over her hair. “I
guess you have things to tell me and I have things to tell you.”

Trepidation skittered along the surface of Cat’s forearms. Did
he know? Did he know just by looking at her that she was hurting? Of course he
did. As she did him.

“This isn’t about us. This is about Sarah.”

“That means we can’t get to know each other again?” He shook
his head. “While you’re here, I want you back. All of you.”

The implication, the verve of his tone hitched Cat’s heart. The
look in his eyes was open and hungry. Her skin tingled as need and entirely
selfish desire rushed through her veins. She couldn’t let him get too close. She
stepped back again, afraid she’d succumb to the simmering need to fling her arms
around him and hold on, begging him to never let her go home and face
reality.

She was a bona fide coward with a secret and it pained her just
to look at him. “You’re tense, I’m tense. The sooner we get things moving with
this investigation, the better.”

He closed his eyes. “I should’ve been there for Sarah, I
wasn’t. The fear I’ll make the same mistake with you scares the hell out of me.
Don’t shut me out of this, okay? Don’t shut me away from you.”

She released her held breath. “I won’t. Of course I won’t.”

He smiled. “That’s all I need to hear. We need to talk, but
let’s eat first. Once I tell you what I’ve been up to your appetite might
disappear.”

“Jay—”

His smile faltered. “Please, Cat. Let me feed you, then we’ll
talk.”

The sadness in his gaze and the stiffness of his shoulders
weakened her resolve to get the ugly out of the way as soon as possible. She
nodded, forced a small smile. “Okay.”