Read Finding Laila: Some Changes are Necessary Online
Authors: T.K. Rapp
Finding Laila: Some Changes are Necessary (17 page)
If you will allow me, I’d
like to give you some advice:
~Be kind to your parents.
They love you more than anything and they will make mistakes. Forgive them.
~Strength is a virtue, but so
is vulnerability. Be open to the possibilities in life. If you are closed off,
you’ll miss so much.
~Know yourself and respect
yourself. If you do, then others will treat you accordingly.
~Fall in love—Deeply,
insanely in love, but don’t let it consume you.
~Be your own person. Be
independent and smart and never let people make you feel like you are less.
There is so much more, but
I know that your parents are doing an amazing job. Even though you don’t know
me, I’m on your side, cheering you on and hoping that you achieve everything
you have ever dreamed of.
Despite what you may think
of me, I love you more than I have ever loved another living soul and I pray
for you Laila.
All my love,
Andie Jude
I
can’t believe I share her name.
“Yeah,
I figured he would be.” I shrug. “He’ll be forgiving when I tell him what’s
going on.”
I
turn to the trees when I hear the guys coming through the woods laughing and
carrying on, and I find myself nervous all over again. He cocks his head to the
side and kisses my cheek to soften the blow.
Cole
and Braxton are the first ones I see, and it’s clear they have no idea what’s
gone on today. Joey emerges after them wearing an angry scowl that I try to
ignore, and I’m surprised to see Bailey trailing behind, holding his hand.
“The
runaway’s been found,” Cole shouts with his cheeky grin. “I’m so proud.”
“Shut
up, Cole.” I swat at his arm as he passes.
“Hey.”
Bailey walks over and gives me a hug, catching me off guard. “How does your
first official day as an adult feel?”
“Sucks
ass,” I groan. I watch the scowl fade from Joey’s face, yet he remains silent.
“Eighteen
is great.” Braxton says as he sits on a rock and rests his elbows on his knees.
“Legally, you can do anything you want. But we know you won’t.”
“So
what happened to you today? Taking off isn’t really your thing,” Cole observes.
Joey
watches me and finally softens as he walks toward me. He kisses Bailey on the
cheek, but continues past her to sit next to me in his usual spot. I like her
more and more, because she joins us as if it’s something she’s done forever.
“It’s
been a really long day,” I start.
“Care
to share with the class?” Braxton teases, but sobers when he sees the
seriousness in my face. “Everything okay?”
“I
found out something today and I’ve been trying to work through it.” The
vagueness in my story is aggravating, even to me, so I finally throw it out
there. “My parents told me that I was adopted.”
Silence.
Not
a single bit of noise sounds, yet the guys look at me with such shock that I
feel like they are screaming it at me.
“Apparently,
my parents weren’t able to have kids on their own, so they sought out
adoption,” I confess. My tears have finally dried up and I’m not as angry as I
was this morning.
Confused?
Yes
.
Sad?
Yes
.
Angry?
No, that dissipated with the letter and
more conversation with my parents.
“But
what about Luka?” Joey asks, finally joining the conversation. “I remember your
mom being pregnant.”
“Did
she fake it?” Cole feigns shock at the notion and I finally laugh.
“No.
Nothing like that.
They tried to conceive for years, but
when the doctor said it would be nearly impossible for them to have a child of
their own, they adopted me. I guess it was one of those things where they had
me and the pressure for kids was off, then they got pregnant with Luka. Funny,
I’ve always joked she was an accident when really it’s a miracle she came along
at all.”
“What
made them tell you today, of all days?” Haden asks. We haven’t talked since he
dropped me off, and he’s hearing much of this for the first time.
“They
said they wanted to tell me when I was younger, but didn’t want to confuse me,
so they waited. Years went by and I guess time got away from them and with my
eighteenth, they figured it was finally time.” I play with a speck on my jeans
and shrug. “Still, would have been nice if they waited a day or so,” I finish
sulkily.
Joey
stands up and pulls me to my feet, gives me a big hug and whispers in my ear,
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything earlier.”
I
pull back and look at my best friend, who looks disappointed in
himself
.
“Joey
Parker the third,” I announce and make him laugh, “you were being a good friend
and I love you for it. I’m sorry I hung up on you, I was—clearly—in
a bad place.”
“I
can see why,” he agrees. “And now?”
“I’m
working on it.”
“So
this is why you called us out here?” Braxton asks.
“Actually,
that was my idea,” Haden says. “She was going to meet me here, but I thought
she’d like having all of us around.”
“Do
you know anything about your birth parents?” Bailey asks.
“Not
about him, but today, my parents told me about her. Her name is Andie,” I say
quietly, “and I look a lot like her.”
“So
you’re saying she’s hot,” Cole barks out. “You know I like older
women—where can I find her?”
“Why
is he here?” I ask Haden through a laugh.
Haden
points to my smile and winks. “That’s why.”
“So
you’ve seen her and you know her name?” Joey asks for confirmation.
“Yeah,
my parents had some pictures and she wrote me a letter to tell me about herself
and that she asked my parents to stop sending updates on me.”
Everyone
sits quiet, taking everything in, and for once I don’t like the silence. Not
when I know that I’m the reason for it.
“Last
night you guys said we’re going on a road trip.” I was so excited about the
idea last night, but today it means so much more.
“Yeah.”
Braxton hops to his feet. “You still want to go, right?”
“For
sure!”
“When
are we doing this thing? I mean, midsummer, right? Come August, I think we’ll
all be too busy packing and getting ready to leave for school.” I laugh at
Joey, our ever-present mature thinker.
“I
was thinking about this trip.” I pause for dramatic effect and watch their eyes
pop open, prompting me to finish. “What if we each select a place to
go—stop along the way, no
schedule.
We just go
and have fun.”
“I
like that idea.” Haden smiles. “I think I already have a place in mind.”
“Count
me in,” Cole agrees. “I’m thinking beach. I’ll let you know which one when I
figure out where the hottest girls are.”
“Great,”
I groan before laughing.
“What’s
wrong with that?” he protests. “Where do you want to go?”
I
bite my lip and remain quiet. It’s been one day, but the questions in my head,
and the shock haven’t stopped.
“Nowhere,”
I lie, and Braxton narrows his eyes at me.
“Nowhere
my ass. Clearly you have someplace in mind, so might as well tell us.” He
points at me.
“I
haven’t talked about this with my parents or anything, and it’s just an idea.”
I rub my hand nervously up and down my leg. “I was thinking about finding
Andie.”
Bailey’s
mouth drops open and the guys are silent. They actually look at me like I must
be playing a joke.
“Guys,
I just found out that there is a woman out there who gave me up for adoption. I
love my mom and dad, you know I do, but if you saw her, you’d understand. I
just have to see her. I need to do this, ya know?”
“But
Lai,” Bailey clears her throat, “she told your parents she didn’t want
updates—maybe that was her way of saying she wanted to disappear for
good.”
I
shake my head, disagreeing with her, but the guys seem to feel the same way.
“None
of you know what it’s like,” I argue. “I just found out that my parents, the
people who raised me, aren’t my real parents.”
“Hold
up.” Joey throws his hands up but I stop him.
“Not
like that. I love them and they
are
my parents. But to know that someone is walking around out there in this world,
and I share something with them, but I’ve never met them—wouldn’t you
want to know, too?”
“You
forget, I know,” Cole says calmly. “Chris isn’t my dad, but he’s been that for
me for as long as I can remember.”
I
feel like a jerk because I know he’s right. Cole’s mom married Chris before I
moved out here. I never knew Chris wasn’t his dad until the day the real guy
showed up at their front door.
“Before
you met your real dad, didn’t you wonder about him?” I ask.
He
cocks his head to the side and thinks for second before answering. “James and
my mom were a bad fit—even he says so—but he took off and left me.
Chris didn’t have to be my dad, he didn’t have to raise me and love me as his
own, but he does. James may be the man that gave me life, but as far as I’m
concerned, Chris
is
my dad.”
“But
that’s my point, Cole. You got to meet him and make that choice for yourself.
I’m not looking to replace my parents, but now that I know a piece of me
is
out there somewhere, I have to see her for myself. You
understand, right?”
“Yeah,”
he sighs, “I really do.”
“Look,
if y’all aren’t comfortable with this, I’m not going to make you. I can totally
pick out someplace else, I just wanted to have you there with me in case I
chicken out.” I hate the idea of going alone, but I would never push them to do
something they don’t want to.
“I’ll
go,” Joey says.
“I
really think you should talk to your parents,” Bailey says. “Just give them a
heads-up.”
“I
know, you’re right,” I smile. “I don’t want to hurt them and I don’t want them
to think that I don’t love them, because I do. Yeah, I was pissed. I guess I
still am a little. They’re my mom and dad, no matter what—but I have to
do this for me.”
“Then
I’m in.” She smiles but it fades quickly. “That is, if you want me?”
Joey
looks at me to wait for my answer. He’s head over heels for Bailey, but he also
wants our approval, and it’s sad considering his advice to me about Haden.
“Bailey,”
I walk over and throw my arm over her shoulder, “I hate to tell you, but you
are one of us. Where we go—you go.”
Everyone
groans and rolls their eyes as they place their papers in the tray on his desk.
He looks entirely too smug and we’ve never mended fences after my ill-advised
verbal debate with him. I have to admit, however, he has started focusing more
on the lesson and less on his phone. As for me, I’ve learned it’s better to
keep my mouth shut.
“Ms.
Nixon,” he calls just before I leave the room. “A minute, please.”
Joey
stops to wait for me, but I wave him on and watch him hesitate before doing so.
There’s
a few people lagging behind, but Mr. Tredway doesn’t seem to care. “Your
counselor and I had a talk and it seems that your grades have put you in the
top ten percent so far this year.”
“Really?”
I ask in shock. I mean I knew I was doing well, but not that well.
“That’s
all you have to say?”
“I’m
sorry, I’m not sure I follow.”
“Have
you sent in your college applications yet?”
“No,
sir. I was planning on doing that over break.” He gives me a disapproving look
and sits on his desktop with his arms crossed over his chest. “You need to get
a move on. And you’ll be needing letters of recommendation, so if you’d like
for me to write one, I’d be happy to do that.”
It
takes everything in me to keep my jaw from dropping open. The man openly
despises me—yet here he is, offering to help me get into college. I guess
he can sense my skepticism, so he gets up and walks back to his seat.
“We
got off on the wrong foot, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you to succeed.”
“Thank
you” is all I am able to manage.
“You
need to be thinking about your essay.
Something that makes
you different or says who you are.
You’re applying to the best colleges,
I assume, and you want to stand out. Aside from your attitude, is there
anything else about you that stands out?”
I
haven’t said anything more about my adoption since I found out. I’ve talked to
the guys, Bailey, and my parents, but other than that I’ve kept it to myself.
“I
found out last month that I was adopted.” I say the words, but it’s barely a
whisper.
“That’s
nothing to be ashamed of, Ms. Nixon,” he says with sincerity.
I
find myself righting my posture before I speak. “I’m not ashamed. I have
amazing parents, and even though I’m still dealing with it, I’m not ashamed.”
“I’m
glad to hear that,” he says and clasps his hands in front of him on his
desktop. “I think you have a compelling story to tell, because you are not your
adoption, you are not your parents, and you are not who people label you as.
And if you would like for me to look it over, I’d be honored.”
“
Th
—thank you, Mr. Tredway,” I manage, though I’m not
sure he made any of that out. “I need to go, I’m about to be late to lunch.”
He
simply nods his head and I walk out in a daze toward the cafeteria. I spot the guys
across the way and meet up with them as I try to figure out what just happened.
Haden scoots over so I can sit next to him and Bailey is sitting across from me
with Joey.
“What’d
Treadmill want?” Joey says, making both Cole and Braxton laugh.
“You
wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” I shake my head at the thought.
“Try
me.” He winks.
“He
just offered to write me a letter of recommendation for my college
applications.”
“No
way,” Joey says with shock-filled eyes.
“And
he also told me that I’m in the top ten percent,” I finish.
Joey
raises his hand to high-five me and sits back down. He takes a bite out of his
burger and with a mouthful of food points to himself and says, “Top five.”
“Way
to steal her thunder, jackass.” Bailey pushes him and laughs.
You
know that moment when you feel someone looking at you and you don’t want to
acknowledge it? Yeah, well, I can feel more than
someone
looking at me, and by the looks on the guys’ faces, I’m not
the only one.
“Makes
sense. I mean, why would her mom want to keep her?” I hear someone say and my
blood runs hot.
“You’re
terrible,” another girl’s voice says. “But then again, we’re talking about
Laila. No one wants her around.”
I
turn in my seat to see Candace Richmond and Hilary Dyer, fellow classmates,
laughing and commenting about me. I look at my group of friends and all of them
shrug, letting me know that they haven’t said anything, and then I remember
that there were still people in Mr. Tredway’s class when I told him the truth.
I stand up and walk over to the two catty jerks and slam my palm onto the end
of their table to get their attention.
“Since
you two can’t seem to keep my name out of your mouth, why don’t I help you
out?” My voice is low and quiet, but the entire cafeteria is watching.
“Gross,
can you not touch the table?
we
don’t know where
you’ve been,” Candace says as she looks me up and down.
“We
all know where
you’ve
been,” I look
to Hilary, who I have heard talking about her
friend
on numerous occasions, “don’t we,
Hil
?”
The
two girls exchange looks of shock and anger, but hide it to maintain
solidarity. I could let it go, but they have pushed me to my limit and I’ve had
enough of their insults to last me a while.
“You
know what they say: something about friends sharing everyone—oh, I mean,
everything.” I look back to the guys and ask them, “Do y’all know that saying?”
They
laugh and shake their heads but jump to their feet when Candace stands up and
gets in my face.
“You’re
a joke, Laila. Everyone knows it, and this place would be a lot better if you never
existed,” she finishes before pushing me backward. I stumble but regain my
footing when my back hits someone who grabs my shoulders.
“Don’t
do it,” a voice I don’t recognize warns me. I whip my head around to see a tall
girl with jet-black hair and striking blue eyes looking at me. “She’s not worth
it.”
I
turn back to see Candace’s face going pale as she stares at my newest ally. I
nod my head and walk away, despite the jeers and applauding for Candace, who
really didn’t do anything. When I walk back to the table, Haden rubs my back
and kisses my cheek, checking to see that I’m okay.
“She’s
not worth it.” I repeat the words aloud, trying to convince myself of their
truth. “But it would feel damn good to shut her up for once.”
“Who
was that?” Bailey asks.
“I’ve
never seen her before,” Braxton says before questioning the rest of us. None of
us seem to know who she is, and apparently no one has seen her before. New
people usually stick out, but this is really the first I’ve seen of her.
“Yeah,
and where did she go?” I ask, trying to find the girl, but she’s nowhere to be
seen.
* * *
The
‘fight’ has been the talk of the day, and it’s laughable since it was barely
anything at all. Of course, the story has been spun to make Candace the heroine
and me the joke, but I don’t care. It’s the last day of school before Christmas
break and it can’t end soon enough.
The
last period of the day is English Lit and it’s full of my fan club. I usually
wait until the last minute to show up so I don’t have to deal with the comments
and looks. My locker is across the building, so Braxton lets me keep my stuff
in his to make it easier, but I have been standing here longer than necessary.
“Hey,
killer.” A voice startles me and causes me to turn clumsily. The girl from the
cafeteria is behind me, a smile on her face.
“Hey,”
I manage to say before recovering. “Laila. The name is Laila.”
“I’m
Perrin,” she shoves her hand out in greeting, “but back home people called me
Ree.”
“So
you
are
new here,” I state the
obvious for her.
“Yeah.
Sucks, too. Move from one school where Christmas break already started. I mean,
who insists their kid go to the one day of school left in the new school? I’m
not happy with him right now,” she says in a rush.
“Ree?”
I furrow my brow in question. “I’d love to talk and all, but I have to get to
class.” I point to the door next to the lockers and she nods.
“Cool,
see you in there,” she says as she starts to walk away.
“There
she is.”
Braxton smiles, coming to stand next to me.
“I just wanted to check that you’re okay.”
“Oh
yeah, I’m great,” I feign excitement. Ree is still standing nearby and I
remember my manners: “Brax, this is Ree—the girl who stopped me from
making a fool of myself at lunch. Ree, this is Braxton.”
“Nice
to meet you.” He smiles and turns to me. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah,
I’m good. You’re taking me home, right?”
“Of
course.” He winks before kissing my hair and jogging off to his class.
Ree
is standing at the entrance waiting for me, so I follow her to the back of the
classroom and take a seat. I have to admire a girl who comes in the very last
day and shows up to class empty-handed. She doesn’t seem to care at all, and I
doubt that Mrs. Lancaster will cover much anyway.
“Hey,”
Ree whispers over to me. “Your guy is seriously hot.”
I
stifle my laughter and shake my head. “So
not
my guy. Just one of my best friends,” I admit.
Her
eyes widen and she nods her head as she relaxes into her seat but she leans
forward again. “Is he seeing anyone?”
I
can’t stop the grin that spreads across my face, because I think she’d be
perfect for Braxton: thin build, exotic face—and obviously she can make
herself comfortable wherever she goes.
“Not
that I know of. Are you going to be around for the entire break?”
She
purses her lips and shakes her head. “I’m going skiing with my dad in
Colorado.”
“That
works out great. Here’s my number, call me when you get back and we’ll talk.” I
scribble my phone number on a ripped out piece of paper and hand it to her.
She
rips off a small corner and writes hers down and gives it back. “Seriously, how
are you not dating that?”
“Dating
who?” Haden asks when he takes the empty seat next to me.
“Haden,
this is Ree.” I point to the girl on my right. “And she wants to know why I’m
not dating Braxton.”
He
leans over, resting his arm on the back of my chair, and looks at Ree. “Nice to
meet you, Ree. I’m Haden, Laila’s boyfriend.” He smiles genuinely before
extending his hand to her.
“Oh,”
is all she manages to say. “All right, point taken.”
“So
where did you move from?” Haden asks.
“Charleston,”
she says with an overly done southern drawl. “My dad was transferred here.”
“She’s
going skiing with her dad, but when she gets back I’m going to try to set her
up with Braxton.”
Haden
shakes his head and sits back when the teacher shuts the door to start class.
“Good
luck with that,” he mutters.
