Finding London (Flawed Heart #1) (23 page)

Thankfully, London is patient. I don’t share my struggles with her, but I think she knows anyway. She’s like Cooper in that way. She just gets me. It doesn’t matter what I need—time, patience, reassurance, love. She gives it to me without me having to ask. Thank God because I would never ask.

Slowly, I’m changing into the man I want to be—one who can love London, truly love her, the way she deserves. I know I’ll get there.

“Dude”—Cooper comes barreling into my room—“Maggie and I are thinking about going paddleboarding. Want to come?”

A smile comes to my face as I imagine London standing on a paddleboard. I wonder if she could balance for an entire minute.

“Oh, I would, man. I’d love to see London paddleboard. She’s hilarious when she tries to do stuff like that, but we have plans already. I’m taking her to Lake Michigan for a ‘relaxing’ beach day.” I do the air quotes with my fingers, and I can hear London’s cute little whine in my mind.

“So, she hasn’t found your love for outdoor activities yet?”

“Hardly,” I say with a laugh. “She’s more of an indoor type of girl.”

“Right—so, like, completely opposite of you.”

I shrug. “You know what they say…opposites attract or some shit.”

“She does know that Loïc Berkeley doesn’t just lie at the beach and sunbathe while eating bonbons, right?”

“She will,” I answer smugly.

“You packing the boogie boards?”

“Already loaded,” I say with a grin. I throw a few towels into my bag and zip it up.

“I kinda wish we were going with you two. I like London. Plus, Maggie still needs to meet her.”

“You’re welcome to come,” I offer as I head toward the bedroom door.

“Nah, not today, but thanks. Maggie has plans with some friends this afternoon.”

“Next time.”

“For sure. Have fun, man. Have a nice
relaxing
time,” Cooper calls after me.

“Don’t I always?” I exclaim over my shoulder.

I hear his laughter as I exit the house.

“Oh, I love the beach,” London says as I grab the cooler and supplies from the truck. “I mean, a beach in Florida or Hawaii would be better, but I’m sure this will be fine.”

“Have you ever been to Lake Michigan?” I ask as I throw the boogie boards under my arm.

“No.”

“Well, don’t knock it until you try it. First, the sand in this area is the softest sand you’ll ever find. The water isn’t salty, so it won’t sting your eyes, and it’s really warm right now.” It’s almost August, which is the best time for Lake Michigan, in my opinion. “You’ve been living in Michigan for four years, and you’ve never come here?”

“Nope. I usually travel with my family during the summer months, so I’ve never been here.”

“You’re going to love it.” I walk around the back of the truck to meet her.

“Um, what are those?” Her eyes dart to the boards beneath my arm.

“Boogie boards,” I answer simply as I start walking toward the water.

“Why do you have two of them?” London calls out from behind me, the soft sand obviously slowing her down.

I stop walking to let her catch up. “Because there are two of us,” I answer when she’s next to me.

“I thought this was going to be a beach day. You do know what a beach day is, right? I’m talking about lying on a soft towel with a drink in hand, baking in the sun all day with an occasional short dip in the water. There are no surfboards allowed in this scenario.”

I give her a quick kiss on her pouty lips. “Good thing I didn’t bring my surfboards then.”

“Loïc!” she says in a huff.

I continue my descent to the beach. I can’t help the huge smile on my face. “Oh, chill, little spoiled one. You’ll have fun,” I call back to her.

The wind has picked up near the water, but I’m pretty sure I heard London let out a growl.

I find an empty spot located in a small dip of a large sand dune. It’s perfect because the walls of the dune will keep out some of the wind and prevent our crap from blowing all over the beach. Plus, it’s fairly close to the water.

I situate our large multicolored blanket, the beach umbrella, and cooler. “You ready to get in the water?” I ask London.

She has taken off her shorts and shirt, and she is facing me in her string bikini. I have no idea how she maintains such a smoking body when she enjoys physical activity less than anyone I know. She must come from good genes.

“You’re exhausting,” she says with a sulk, which elicits laughter from me.

I reach out my hand to take hers.

She wistfully looks down at the blanket. “Why did you bring the beach blanket? I have a feeling we’re not going to be spending a lot of time lounging today.” She sulks.

“I’m sure we’ll need it at some point.” I bend down and kiss her cheek.

I leave the boards by our blanket for now. She just grunts as we walk to the water.

“You know, for being so worldly, London, you’re pretty sheltered.”

“I am not. I’ve done lots of things. Just because my pastimes are different from yours doesn’t mean they’re wrong.”

“You’re right.”

We walk through the waves where the water meets the sand. Michigan doesn’t have brilliant waves like California does, but for a freshwater lake, they’re pretty decent, especially on a windy day like today. It’s a perfect day for boogie-boarding.

When we get out to where the water hits my chest, London wraps her arms around my neck so that our faces are level, and then her legs go around my waist.

“So, tell me what boogie-boarding is. Do I have to stand on the board?” she asks hesitantly.

“No, it’s really easy and fun. You’ll like it.”

“Easy and fun to you maybe.”

I expel a laugh. “I promise, you’ll like it. We’ll swim out to about there.” I point to where the waves peak before they roll onto the shore. “See those waves? We’ll be there. You can lie on your belly on the board. I like to go in on my knees.”

She glares at me.

“But let’s do stomachs for now.” I smile. “So, you’re there, lying on the board, and the wave will carry you onto shore. It feels like a mini roller coaster ride. Kids do it. It’s easy. It doesn’t require a lot of skill. Just wait, you’ll have fun.”

“Define
a lot
.”

I laugh. “Okay, it doesn’t take any skill.”

“That sounds more my speed.” She giggles. “I like roller coasters.”

“See? Perfect.” I squeeze my arms around her, pulling her soft body into mine.

“Someday, are you going to get sick of me and my lack of outdoor knowledge? You might do better with dating a lumberjack or a professional outdoor person.”

“An outdoor person?”

“You know what I mean.” She grins wide.

“Do you know any female lumberjacks? Are they as hot as you?” I ask seriously.

“Not funny.” She playfully hits my chest.

“Listen, London, I adore you just the way you are. I love that you haven’t done a lot of the things that I like to do. It’s fun to experience them with you for the first time.”

“You have a thing about firsts, don’t you?”

“With you, I do.” My eyes capture hers, conveying all the things I want to say.

She places her lips against mine. I kiss her back, slow and worshipful at first, savoring the way she feels. I have an acute awareness of her, an inexplicable pull toward her, and I feel it all—the way her fingers caress the hair at the nape of my neck, her body wrapped around mine, and the sweet sighs that escape her mouth. All of it, all of London, makes me insane with need.

She is so different from me in every sense, but she couldn’t be more perfect. Everything about her fills me with a sense of calm. With each kiss, each giggle, each pout, she is teaching my cold heart how to live again. Her presence alone is filling me up with the capacity to love.

I take the kiss deeper. I kiss her hard, my tongue licking greedily. Her taste is addictive. She whimpers into my mouth as her fingers pull through my hair, drawing me closer.

She pulls her mouth from mine, her lips swollen and red, sexy. “I’m clean, and I’m on the pill.”

It takes me a second to realize what she’s referring to, but when I do, I almost groan at the implication. “I’m clean, too.” My words come out hoarse, my voice saturated in desire.

“Have you ever had sex in a lake before, Loïc?”

I shake my head.

“Me neither.” Her voice is low and seductive.

With just a few words, London has the ability to make me crazy with desire. She is exceptionally skilled at it.

I look around to find us alone in the lake—at least, this far out. A few people are up on this section of the beach, but I know only our shoulders and heads are visible from above the water. We’re far enough out that they would only be able to tell that we’re out here, but they wouldn’t be able to make out our actions.

My breaths come out ragged. London’s eyes gleam in a silent dare.

“You know I have a thing for firsts.” Using one of my hands, I slide my board shorts down until they are floating beneath the water around my ankles. I tightly hold London against me with one arm as my free hand pulls her bikini bottoms to the side, and two of my fingers enter her.

She bites her lip at the intrusion, and a small moan comes from her lips, but she doesn’t look away. Our lusty gazes stay connected.

“Do you like that?” I ask as my fingers move deeper.

London closes her eyes and drops her face to my shoulder. “God, yes.”

“Does that make you feel good, baby?” My thumb is moving in circles around her most sensitive area.

“Yes,” she whimpers quietly against my neck. Her fingers grab at the skin of my back.

I pull out my fingers, and pulling the small fabric of her suit further to the side, I enter her. Every sensation of this experience is incredibly intense. The feeling of being out in the open and together in this way is hot as fuck. The warm water hitting my wet skin adds a different element and is highly enjoyable. And the way she feels without a barrier between us is incredible. More than that, the trust she has in me to allow me to feel her in this way puts me over the edge.

She continues to moan into my neck as my palms grasp her ass and push her onto me over and over again. I tilt my knees and bend my pelvis up, so I make sure that I’m hitting the exact spot that she needs. I can tell by the forceful way in which her hands grasp my back with her jagged breaths against my skin and the almost painful-sounding moans that leave her mouth that she is so close. My arms burn as I continue to move her onto me, increasing my speed with each thrust as I chase my own release.

Finally, we’re both there, and as her body shatters around me, I let go. I capture her cries in my mouth as I kiss her hard. This is the single most satisfying moment in my life to date.

The two of us stay connected as we both come down from our moment of ecstasy. My mouth captures London’s, the kisses slow and languid now. My lips and tongue cherish her with every soft movement.

Eventually, I pull my lips from hers. Our faces are still a mere breath away as we stare into each other’s eyes.

I want to tell her that I love her because I don’t know what else this feeling deep within my chest could be, if not for that. But I don’t. Perhaps I’m a coward in that way. But I hope she sees it and feels it in me because it has to be exploding from my every pore. It’s the most powerful emotion I’ve ever felt. It’s not the type of love I felt for my parents or even Sarah. It’s something more. It’s raw, intense, and a little desperate. More than anything, it’s terrifying because this feeling has the power to devastate me, to annihilate me.

London’s eyes radiate with what I’m assuming mine do. Her expression is pensive, content, and a little fearful. But she doesn’t say anything either.

Aren’t we a perfect match?
Yeah, I guess we are.

London’s the first one to break the silence. “Well, I think I might be turning into an outdoor person,” she says airily.

I can’t help but laugh. “Is that so?”

“It’s up for debate, but the outlook is good—especially if we can experience some more firsts together.” She winks.

“I’m all over that,” I say seriously, which makes her laugh.

Yeah, I’d risk complete annihilation to experience even one more first with London. And just maybe, if I’m really lucky, she’ll get all the rest of mine.