Finding Love (7 page)

He was funny and handsome, but there was a lot more to Clay than met the eye. He had an old soul, but Addison never could figure out what kept him from finding love for himself. Now in his 30’s, she would’ve bet that he’d have been married with kids by now, but here he was captaining a small ferry boat with one passenger. Seemed like a waste.

They climbed aboard the ferry and Clay took his spot at the helm. “Hey, you want to steer this thing?” he asked.

“Me? I’m not even a good driver of cars, and you want me to steer the ferry? You must not hold this vessel in high regard, Captain.” She pulled her sweater tighter around her and tied it with the belt to avoid if blowing open in the ocean breeze.

“I trust you,” was all he said. Her stomach felt like it had butterflies flying around inside of it. Why did that keep happening to her? She decided it was hunger. Yes, pregnant women were hungry, and that must be what was going on.

“Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you,” she said as she walked up to the large steering wheel. The ferry was old, no doubt about it. It didn’t have the technological advances newer boats would have, but it had history. And Clay seemed to be big on history and tradition.

“You’ve got to come closer,” he said, pulling her in front of him and reaching his arms around her body as he placed her hands on the steering wheel. All of the sudden, she was very aware of his presence. No longer did he feel like “brother Clay”, but like a man. A warm, handsome, kind-hearted man that had her in his arms. Or at least had his arms around her. She could feel the strength of his chest pressed against her back, a strong, steady force holding her up. She could feel the warmth of his skin seeping through his shirt, and every part of her suddenly wanted to turn around and put her head on his chest. Weird.

Maybe she was reading too much into the moment, but it felt good. And that made her feel bad. She wasn’t the right woman for Clay. Her baggage was too heavy to carry, and she wasn’t going to involve someone like him. He deserved the best, and she wasn’t it anymore.

“You know what? Why don’t you drive so I can sight see?” she said, ducking under his left arm and smiling.

“You grew up here, Addy. What kind of sight seeing do you need to do?” he asked, his face serious. He knew she had moved away for a reason. “Look, I hope I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable. I was just trying to show you…”

“No, of course not! I just don’t want to drive this heap of metal, that’s all,” she said, waving her hands at him and trying valiantly to make a joke. There was a reason she wasn’t a comedian.

The rest of the trip was almost silent. Clay drove and she sat and stared off into the distance. The last thing she needed right now was more feelings. She already had plenty of feelings about Jim and her marriage and her baby and her career… She didn’t need feelings for Clay.

And yet there they were.

The next morning, Addison awoke with renewed hope. She’d made the decision to keep the baby, and that had taken a weight off her shoulders, at least somewhat. But today something else was on her mind and had kept her awake for much of the night.

The bed and breakfast.

Just the mention of it made her very soul feel giddy. She hadn’t known that the thought of running a B&B would excite her, and maybe it was more the decorating of the old place that excited her. Even though the idea was completely out of reach financially, she loved dreaming about it. Overnight, she’d decided that she would approach whoever bought it and see if they might let her submit a bid for decorating it.

Maybe things would fall into place. She’d get her divorce, have her baby and start her life over completely. It wouldn’t be easy, but it’d be worth it.

As she rolled out of bed, she could feel the difference in her body immediately. The baby was starting to move more, and she could finally feel the flutters of activity in there. Her stomach was tightening over the growing baby bump, and she knew her time hiding it was limited.

“Good morning, baby,” she whispered for the first time. She hadn’t dared talk to the baby yet for fear she’d grow attached to it and not be able to let it go. But now that fear was gone, and she wanted to bond with that precious life growing inside of her as early as possible. She thought for a moment about the baby’s father, Eric, and wondered how he could not care about his child. She had greatly overestimated his character.

When she thought about her own father and what he’d missed out on raising his kids, it was hard to imagine a father willingly giving that relationship up. But she knew that fathers - and mothers - made that choice everyday all across the world. Still, it was a sad choice to make.

“I’m your momma,” she continued whispering to the baby as she sat on the side of her bed. “We’re going to have lots of fun together. I want you to know I’m going to do my best to be a good mother and teach you everything you need to know in this world. I had a big family, and you’re going to have lots of cool uncles who want to take care of you and protect you. And maybe one day you’ll even have a brother or sister.”

She hoped that was true. That some man out there would love her and she’d love him, and he could be trusted with her heart. And that he’d have such a big heart that he could love someone else’s child and protect them with his life. Maybe it was a fairy tale, but she was still holding out hope that men like that existed out there. Somewhere.

She was broken out of her conversation with the baby by her ringing cell phone. It was early in the morning for anyone who really knew her to call, so she ran across the room to grab it before it woke anyone else in the house up.

“Hello?”

“Addison? It’s Helen,” she heard her attorney say. The woman was as old as dirt with wrinkles that seemed so deep they might show her bones underneath soon. She smoked like a freight train, and her gravelly voice was impossible to miss.

“Oh, hi, Helen. Something wrong?” Addison asked, her stomach already knotting up.

“You might wanna sit down for this one,” she said, stopping mid sentence for a cough and then what sounded like a drag of her cigarette. Addison was starting to regret investing what little money she had into this woman. Hasty decisions end up making situations like this worse.

Addison sat down in the chair beside her dresser. “Okay, I’m sitting.”

“I’ll just cut right to the chase. Jim’s attorneys have drawn up papers where Jim gets everything. The house. The bank accounts. The cars.”

“How is that possible?” Addison said.

“Well, he’s claiming you didn’t deny your infidelity and there’s nothing proving he was ever unfaithful to you. You got any text messages or emails or anything showing his affair?”

“No. We always talked in person… or argued, rather. Sometimes we had phone conversations, but Jim hates to text and he never emailed me. He was careful, Helen. He’s a freaking attorney. No offense.”

“None taken. And I agree. He’s a rat bastard. But he’s a rat bastard with a lot of power around here, and he’s throwing it around something fierce right now.”

“Shouldn’t I automatically get half of everything?”

“No. Georgia isn’t a community property state. We have something called equitable distribution. That means anything bought or earned during the marriage is supposed to be distributed equitably. But, here’s the issue. Jim knows you have limited funds right now, and he knows you don’t want to spend your whole pregnancy fighting. He’s going to use that to either drag this out or force your hand.”

“This isn’t fair…”

“No, it’s not. But his plan, from what I’ve heard through the grapevine, is reveal your infidelity, your pregnancy, the whole thing. Ruin your career and reputation. So, sweetie, in the end you might get your used car back and a few thousand bucks that he hasn’t hid yet, but you’ll be screwed as far as your career and reputation.”

Addison couldn’t catch her breath. She leaned over, as far as she could anyway, and stuck her head between her knees. She could hear Helen calling her name, but honestly she blacked out for a few moments as her whole life flashed before her eyes. How could she ever start over with nothing? It wasn’t fair! She’d contributed a lot to their home and finances, and now she was just supposed to walk away with nothing at all?

“Addison? You there?” Helen called once more. Addison regained her senses for a moment.

“Yeah. Sorry…”

“I’ve also put together some information on adoption like you asked…”

“No need, Helen. I’m not giving my baby up for adoption. I’m going to raise my baby.” A shocked gasp came from somewhere else in the room, and she turned to see her mother standing in the doorway with her hand over her mouth and stifling a huge smile. She gave Addison a thumbs up.

Addison said her goodbyes to Helen and hung up her phone. Adele walked silently across the room and hugged her daughter tight.

“It’s going to be okay. You made the right decision, Addy,” she whispered into Addison’s thick brown hair.

“I sure hope so, because I’m starting over with nothing. Literally. This whole divorce thing couldn’t be worse,” she said. She explained the whole phone call, and Adele’s face showed the anger brewing underneath. She didn’t want to cause her mother’s blood pressure to go up, so she tried to act nonchalant about it.

“Sweetie, you’re strong. You’re going to get through this and be better than ever. The Parker women always come out on top, you hear me?” her mother said, grabbing her by the shoulders and looking her in the eyes.

“I hear you,” Addison said smiling. “And maybe one day soon I’ll believe you.”

***

After excusing herself and telling her mother she needed some exercise, Addison found herself walking around the downtown January Cove area before going to work at Jolt. Memories of her formative years flooded her mind as she walked the streets.

The corner drug store, Rudy’s, was a mainstay in January Cove. The original owner, Rudy Hilliard, had long since died and the shop had stayed in the family. His grandson, Michael, now owned the place and still ran it in much the same way his forefathers did. There was still a working soda fountain inside, and the decor swept you back to the 1950s. Addison waved at Michael through the window as she walked by, being sure to secure her sweatshirt around her waistline.

Next was JCHS - January Cove High School - and she had many fond memories of that place. Too many to mention. Homecoming dances and proms. Yearbook committee and football games. She adored her years at JCHS, and she longed for those simpler times when the idea of bills and babies and divorce were foreign to her.

As she walked, she saw the ice cream parlor and the dry cleaners and the antique stores that littered the main street through town. And then she passed the old Mallory house.

Seeing it up close made her heart skip a beat. This place held memories for many grown up kids in January Cove. All those dances and cotillions and weddings. It had been a beautiful place in its time, and now it was a shell of its former self. Kind of like Addison. The irony wasn’t lost on her.

The for sale sign was still in the yard, and the place appeared empty. Addison walked slowly up to the front porch and peeked through the windows. It definitely needed some work, but the “bones” were good.

There were flyers on the porch, so she grabbed one and almost passed out when she saw the price. Even with a hefty divorce settlement, she wouldn’t come anywhere close to the purchase price. And now she wouldn’t be getting a settlement from what she could tell.

She put the flyer back in the box and sank down onto the front step. This was as close as she was ever getting to owning the Mallory house. She felt like such a failure. She was starting her life over again, but this time it was like she was a knocked up teenager with no career aspirations.

She stood and looked through the windows once more. Why was it that she could so vividly imagine herself living there, dancing around one of the four fireplaces with her child while putting up the Christmas tree? There was no way it was ever going to happen. Sometimes fairy tales just don’t come true.

“Are you trespassing, ma’am?” a voice said from behind her. It startled her so that she jumped back and fell over an empty flower pot and directly into the man’s arms. When she looked up, she realized it was Clay. “Addy, I’m sorry! Are you okay?”

She glared up at him and struggled to get her footing, being careful to pull her sweatshirt down over her belly. “Jeez, Clay! Were you trying to give me a heart attack?”

He started laughing so hard that tears were welling in his eyes. “I thought you knew it was me…”

“Why would I know it was you? I’m at an abandoned house alone and you used a deep voice…” When she realized how uptight she was being, she got tickled and started laughing too. “You jerk!” she said when she caught her breath. “You’re lucky I didn’t have my pepper spray on me.”

“Well, if you’re going to come to abandoned houses, that’s probably when you should bring your pepper spray.”

“I wasn’t planning to come here, actually. I was walking to work. And I’m late…” she said putting her hand over her mouth. “Gosh, where is my brain lately?”

“Relax. I just came from Jolt,” he said, holding up a cup of coffee. “Rebecca’s not very busy. Care to walk with me?”

She nodded and they made their way down the driveway and back out onto the street. With each passing day, January Cove was getting colder and colder. For full-time beach bums, the temperatures were hard on the regular citizens of the small town. They lived for spring and summer, as did most of the businesses. Some business owners took second jobs during the winter months just to make ends meet.

“So, no ferry riders this morning?” she asked as they passed the hardware store and then the ice cream shop.

“Not a one. I was hoping you might take a trip, but to no avail,” he said with a smile.

“Nah, not today, my friend. I’m a working girl.”

Clay started laughing. “You might not want to say that. It could be misinterpreted, ya know…”

“Haha. Very funny. You’re a regular comedian.”

She and Clay had always bantered back and forth. Even though he was older than her, she’d always been able to hold her own with him. The more he taunted and picked at her, the more sarcastic and fiery she became. She remembered him once asking if she died her hair because he was sure she was a red head underneath those curly brown locks of hers.

“Do you remember when our families went on that camping trip together?” Clay asked as they walked.

“Oh yes. I remember you pushing me in the lake very well!”

“I never pushed you in the lake!”

“Yes you did, you liar!” she said as she punched him in the arm. “We were in the canoe, and you told me to stand up. Of course, I didn’t know any better and you pushed me in!”