Finding Love in Forgotten Cove (Island County Series Book 1) (25 page)

I glanced at Mason as he quietly installed the countertops. He said little when he arrived this morning. He brought in his equipment and got immediately to work. I mean what was there to say? After all, I was the one who pretty much shattered our relationship and any prospect at friendship.

I was mad at myself on so many levels. Mostly for letting it get this far. I’d led him on. I’d led myself on. I agreed to go to a family barbeque. I opened up to him in ways I’d never done before. I let myself be “me” around him, and he liked it, which only complicated things. He was kind, loving, sexy, and someone I could picture spending—

No. That was the problem. I was getting ahead of myself. I was imagining outcomes that didn’t make sense. I lived in New York. He lived in Washington. And the truth of the matter was that I was all kinds of screwed up. Hence my decision to break it off before it even started.

I was one big ball of mess and it wasn’t fair to force him along for the ride. He came from stability and didn’t need to go crashing into uncertainty and that was what I offered at the moment.

I didn’t come with baggage, I came with a storage unit and making him unpack it would be the worst punishment of all, even if there was some truth to Lily’s question.

Not to mention, being in the center of the Rhodes family in all their joyous moments and playful bantering created something inside of me that I never for a moment expected, jealousy.

And I was ashamed of it.

Logically, I would have assumed being with a giant, happy family would lift my spirits. I never once guessed it would do the opposite. Maybe, if I’d come from a family who hadn’t experienced that kind of love, it would merely be a fun family to be a part of, but that wasn’t what happened, and now, I’d hurt someone I truly cared about.

And there was nothing I could do about it because what he wanted, I couldn’t give.

If my sister was alive, she’d smack me upside the head and tell me to get over it. I even spent last night telling myself the very same thing. But it was too late. The damage had been done. I was the damage.

But being this sad took work—took real effort—and somehow it seemed my happiness was found in being miserable. I didn’t think I was born that way, and it certainly didn’t feel like that was how it was meant to be when I was with Mason, but it was the only logical explanation for what I did last night.

I heard him unzip his bag and turned around to see him. Watching his calculated movements and his expressionless face made my body ache.

“There’s sliced turkey and bread in the fridge,” I told him as I slid my book bag over my shoulder.

“I’m good. Brought my lunch.”

“Okay. Well, if you need anything, you know where to—”

“I’ll be fine, Victoria.”

A million little stabs entered my heart and I blinked back tears.

“I’ll be out of here before you get home from school,” Mason said. “I didn’t expect you to still be here this morning.”

“It was a grading day,” I said, my voice catching in my throat. “Late start.”

Mason nodded and turned around to continue drawing the template for the counters. I wanted to dump my bag and slide against the wall, crying and telling him what a mistake I’d made, but I knew with him I only had one chance and I used it up. That was how normal people operated. They didn’t stick around for the drama. They figured out the solution and moved on. They didn’t allow themselves to get pulled into a dizzying circus of emotions and what-ifs, and for some reason since I’d returned that was the category I fell into.

Prior to Fireweed, I was sensible and tended to be a problem-solver. If my fiancé cheated, I moved on. If I needed to tend to my father’s estate, I did what needed to be done. Now, however, I was merely a confused individual, and it showed with just about everything and everyone I touched.

I looked at the clock and realized if I didn’t want to be late for the staff meeting I needed to leave this second, but I couldn’t bear to be surrounded by a room full of smiling teachers. I slid my cell out of my bag as I walked out the door and called Rosa. I left a short message explaining to her I wouldn’t be making the meeting.

I dumped my bag at the top of the trail and made my way down to Forgotten Cove. I had no crazy plans. I wasn’t going to go jumping into the water. I wanted some quiet since peace was nowhere to be found.

The trail was dry and easy to navigate since it hadn’t rained for several days. My mind raced with images of Mason and I walking down the trail for the first time and my chest tightened. He was only a few hundred yards away and I missed him, missed him terribly. I no longer felt isolated on this island, I felt desperately alone in the world because of a choice I made.

I found a boulder and leaned against it, feeling the coolness of the stone come through my clothes as I watched the stillness of the trees and water. There was no breeze, dashing my hopes of hearing my mom’s voice again, only this time with advice for how to get out of the mess I’d made.

Instead, only silence greeted me. Every so often, I eyed the trail, hoping Mason would come walking down it, and I’d apologize, and he’d accept, pulling me into his arms, but that wasn’t how real life worked. Not my real life.

I hadn’t told Bethany about Mason. Last she heard I was having a great time Saturday morning, and probably expected me to tell her, “surprise, I’m staying”, but that certainly wasn’t what would be happening. What was happening had me confused.

I was actually happy ninety-eight percent of the time and had managed to carve out a blissful existence in my part of the world back in New York. I’d walk to school some days, I’d visit the farmer’s markets, I’d join in during the Autumn Carnivals. I actually loved living life. It was only when I tried on the relationship thing that problems tended to arise. And now I liked living a life less complicated. It was something I needed.

And truthfully, that might not have anything to do with the loss in my life. It might actually be me. I thought back to fifth grade and how I had a crush on a boy. I had all my friends tell him I liked him whenever they saw him. The poor kid was inundated with notes for weeks, and finally, he asked me out. I was elated. I got my wish and eagerly accepted our status. We were officially going out for two whole days before I dumped him. My reason? He got too handsy on the playground at recess.

But that was the thing, I always had a reason. I stared up at the house and sighed. What was I afraid of with Mason? That he’d cheat on me and I’d leave him? That he’d leave me? I let out a deep breath. It didn’t matter now.

What mattered was focusing on my students and getting to school where I belonged. I walked over to the water and bent down, touching my fingers to the cold liquid. My mind wandered back to the lake and Mason’s family and how much they loved one another, but I knew it was more than that. They were content where they were in life.

I walked up the trail and picked up my bag. I looked toward the house, wondering, hoping that Mason might be looking out one of the windows, but he wasn’t. And that was when I realized I almost fell right into the Delilah trap. If his interest ended, I needed to interest myself in something else.

I tossed my book bag in the car and began my drive to school. I looked at the clock. I still had almost two hours before my class started. I hadn’t done it yet and I wouldn’t do it again, but today I needed a break. I needed to see Aickens Corner and maybe see if Natalie had taken her lunch. I had no student appointments before class so I wouldn’t be missed.

I pulled onto the main street that led to the flower shop and my mind raced with radical possibilities. I returned a wave from the postman as I parked and jumped out of my car with some sort of renewed energy. I wasn’t sure how long it was going to last so I thought I’d better embrace it.

The flowers from the day before had been traded out for fresh ones on the sidewalk, and I actually got excited about reconnecting with someone tied to my past, or more so to my dad’s.

“Well, you’re back quickly.” Natalie smiled. “The flowers didn’t die, did they?”

I laughed. “Not at all. Did I miss your lunch?”

Natalie shook her head. “You didn’t miss it because I don’t take them, but I could today.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. One of the perks about being the owner of a florist shop in a small town and believe me, there aren’t many.” She smiled and tossed her rag onto the counter. She turned on her voicemail, wrote a little note, and followed me out the door, flipping the sign to closed and posting the note on the door.

“I feel so bad. I didn’t mean for you to have to close shop.”

“Oh, gosh no. I’m happy to get out. I’ve been working nonstop on a wedding order and needed a break. Nothing like getting changes to the order the day before.”

“The wedding is during the week?” I asked.

Natalie nodded. “Yep. I actually have quite a few midweek weddings. The rates around the island are a lot cheaper Monday through Thursday and it pulls in the tourists.”

“I hadn’t even thought of that.”

“Any particular place you want to go for lunch?” she asked.

I hadn’t even gotten that far.

“Anywhere works for me. I’ve only been to a few places.”

“Teriyaki sound good?” Natalie asked.

I laughed. “Sounds perfect and is one of the few places I’ve been.”

We walked to the café and placed our lunch order, taking a seat by the window.

“Here’s a question,” I began.

“Shoot.”

“How do you like living on Fireweed?”

Natalie’s mouth wound into a circle as she thought about my question. “You know…I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else. It’s home and it’s always been that way. I mean, I’m still single so that could prove to be an issue since there seems to be a shortage of good men on the island…”

“Not just on the island,” I laughed. “It’s a far-reaching epidemic.”

“That great out there, huh?” she laughed.

“Yep.”

“Well, I actually love it.  When I was a kid, I wanted nothing more than to get off it, but once I got older, I realized how lucky we are to have this kind of a community. When I’ve gone to the bigger cities, I realized I was one of many and got lost in the shuffle.”

“That can have its perks,” I added.

She laughed. “I suppose, but I’ve always kind of liked being the center of attention.”

Her smile brightened as the door jingled behind me.

“Speaking of men on the island,” she whispered.

I didn’t even have to turn around to know who it was. I could feel him, sense his gaze on us as he walked into the restaurant. It took all my self-control not to revert to ninth grade and shout,
I thought you brought your lunch
, but I didn’t. Instead, I kept my eyes on Natalie as her gaze followed Mason to the counter where he placed his order. Even hearing his voice made my insides squeeze.

“He will make someone so happy,” Natalie mused. “If only it were me.”

“Why not try?” I asked.

“Oh, please. You know that feeling you get when the other person is extremely nice but they have no interest?”

I did. I’d felt it myself many times, thank you very much.

But it was intriguing that it was Mason who threw it Natalie’s way. There was a bit of relief planted in that seed of knowledge.

“Well, his company bid on some repair work and he came out to handle the project,” she whispered. “He was so polite and put me out of my misery in the kindest way.”

I half-snorted at her admission and Mason glanced over. I almost caught a smile fighting his lips, but he refrained as Natalie laughed.

“You still do that?” she asked. “I would’ve thought you would’ve outgrown that.”

I shook my head. “Afraid not.” But I had managed to hide it from Mason until now.

Our chicken was delivered, and Natalie and I caught up on all life’s twists and turns. I didn’t even notice that Mason had left, and I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. I also wondered why he didn’t take me up on my turkey sandwich offer. Did he think I poisoned it or something?

As lunch wound down, I got up the nerve to ask Natalie about Aickens Corner. I thought I’d want her to come with me, but the more I got my nerve up, the more I realized it was something I should do alone.

“I should probably get back to the shop and see what other changes the lovely bride-to-be has in store for me.” Natalie grinned.

“Good luck. I need to get to my class too, but I have a little more time. I have a question. Which end of the park is Aickens Corner?”

“The far end, toward the bluff. Keep your eyes peeled for the most beautiful butterfly garden you’ve ever seen, and you’ll know you’re in the right place.”

I gave her a quick hug and we both promised to stay in touch. I watched her walk back to her shop as I prepared myself to experience another side of my dad.

The park was only a short drive away and there was a small parking lot that held about six cars. I was the second in the lot. I viewed the time and quickly climbed out of the car. Following Natalie’s directions, I pointed myself toward the bluff and began my trek.

I hadn’t expected to find what I did around the bend. It was gorgeous, almost fantastical, as the bronze butterfly sculpture rose from the center of the garden. I walked toward the sculpture, my hands grazing the yarrow and stocks, feeling softness on my fingertips until the gravel path ended.

The sculpture was taller than me and stood gloriously with wings spread, reaching for the sky. I hadn’t prepared myself for this. My father somehow created an homage to my mother and her love of all things living as new beginnings emerged. I felt the first tear trickle down my face as my hand touched the cold metal. It was beautiful. It was filled with love, but it showed he was stuck in time. He never escaped his memories.

I wiped the tears away and sniffed in as something else caught my eye near the bluff. I slowly walked over to the piece that was resting on the lawn. My heart started beating quickly as I approached the large sculpture and circled it, kneeling in front of the sculpture where a woman held her two daughters. I stared at the replica of my mother, sister, and I and knew I needed to stay. There had been something calling me back for years, but I’d refused to listen. As my cries turned to whimpers, my gaze fell to the nameplate of the piece.