Finding My Way (37 page)

“You totally just got
hit on, didn’t you?”  Julia asks me with a small smile playing on her
lips.

“Um, yes I guess I
did.”  I giggle a little gobsmacked at the thought.  “Does that kind
of thing happen often at these lunches?”

“Not to me it
doesn’t.”  She laughs, shaking her head, as we cross the street back to
her car.

We get back into the
car and buckle up, but before Julia starts it, she turns to me with a smile.

“So now we go back to
the office and put the contract through on the email.  I’ll let you handle
that.  As soon as they fax back a signed copy, you will need to give the
print department the go ahead.”

“Okay,” I say
confidently, knowing I can do that part.

“See it wasn’t so bad
was it?”

“No not at
all.”  I reply.

“Look at you, beaming
away.  What did Tom say to you exactly?”

“Um he just gave me
his card and asked me to call him… he suggested we go to dinner.”

“So are you going to
call him?”

“What? 
No!  I don’t think so.”

“No?  Not your
type?  I thought he was a bit of alright.”  She says with a chuckle
as she starts the car.

I don’t reply, as I
have no idea what to say to that.  She’s right, he was good looking, quite
charming; he seemed like a nice guy.  Still, I can’t believe that
happened!  I look down at Tom’s business card, noticing his mobile number
before I tuck it away in my bag.  Wow.  Just a short time ago I was
pining after Josh, and now I have Seth, Nick
and
Tom to wonder about.  What the hell?

I won’t be calling
Tom, though.  Two guys are more than enough to handle.  But, wow,
talk about a confidence boost!

***

When we get back to
the office I relieve Sophie from reception and assure her that we have
interviews lined up for Monday as well as a temp hired for tomorrow because I’m
taking the day off.  She doesn’t seem fazed at all, but I know that I
would be pissed if I continually had to fill in for someone instead of getting
on with my own job.  I guess she’s just more easy-going than I am.

As soon as she leaves
my desk, the phones go crazy and in between fielding calls and getting the
paperwork organised for our new clients, I don’t have a moment to spare before
I realise that it is already past five and Seth is standing at my desk.

“Hey
you!”
  Emma beams up at me from her desk.

“I’m guessing that
the meeting went well then?”  I ask her, relieved that she is not tense
anymore.

“Yes it did.”

“More than well,”
Julia adds coming from her office.  “Emma impressed them so much she
scored a phone number and a dinner invitation from the younger more handsome of
the pair.”

What?
  I
divert my eyes from Julia back to Emma just in time to see her cringe. 
Her face goes bright red.  I’m sure that she did not want me to hear
that.  And I sure as hell wish that I hadn’t!

“Um yes…
well…” she stutters with a look of horror on her face.

“I know, not your
type,” Julia intervenes.  “Anyway, I’m off.  Have a great long
weekend Emma.  I hope your friend’s wedding goes well.”

“Thanks Julia. 
See you Monday,” Emma replies glancing at me quickly.

“See you Seth.”

“Bye,” I reply to
Julia as I watch her walk over to the elevator, looking anywhere but at Emma as
I try to calm down.  When I feel the tension in my jaw ease a little, I
stop avoiding Emma’s gaze and look back at her.

“Seth-”

“So you got hit on
huh?”  I laugh but don’t really feel it.  “So you
gonna
see this guy?”

“No.”

“Oh that’s right, not
your type,” I reply a little more snarkier than I intended.  Emma walks
around her desk until she’s standing in front of me.  “Am I your
type?”  I ask hopefully and pathetically, and immediately wish I could
take it back. 
How pitiful do I sound?

“Yes Seth you
are,” she says shakily as she puts a hand cautiously on my arm.  I
can see that she’s nervous.  But just her small touch is enough to calm
me.

“Sorry.  I
didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, Emma.  I just really like you and I
can see this turning into something,” I say as I put my arms around her. 
“Please tell me you can too.”

“I can.”  She
swallows but moves out of my grasp, looking around the empty office.

“Sorry, I forgot
where we were.”

“It’s okay,” she says
returning to the other side of her desk.  “I… I just need us to take this
slow.”

“I know. 
Sorry.”  I rub my hands over my face.  “Anyway… you’ve got tomorrow
off huh?  Lots of wedding stuff to do?”

“Yeah...  I
guess so.”

“Are you ready to
leave?  Can I walk you to the station?”

“Yes I’m just about
finished,” she says turning off her computer, grabbing her mug, and
walking back around to the front of the desk.  “But you don’t have to walk
me.”

“I know I don’t have
to, but I
want
to,” I say and when she smiles at me brightly, all the
tension leaves my body.

I wait at the front
desk while she goes to the kitchen to wash her mug and then to the
bathroom.  I patiently wait while she packs up her things and picks up her
bag.  But while we wait for the elevator my patience starts to wear
thin.  I just want out of here so I can stop pretending that we are just
work colleagues.  I know we have to take things slow and I’m good with
that.  At the same time I just want to touch her in some small way.

When the doors close
on us and we have the elevator to ourselves, the electricity between us returns
and my hand automatically takes hers.  I watch in the reflection of those
doors again, as a smile breaks over her face.  And I finally let out a
breath I didn’t know I was holding.

“See you next
week!”  Seth smiles at me but the smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes as I
wave back at him and step onto the train.  I wave again as the train
leaves the station.

I breathe a sigh of
relief as I slump back in the chair.  What a day!  I am so glad to
have the next three days off.  From everything, not just work.  I
like Seth, a lot.  I’m not sure if I’m ready for what he is asking of me
though.  After the awkward situation with Julia unknowingly putting her
foot in it about Tom, I realised just how strongly Seth feels.  Up until
that point, I don’t think it was all that clear to me.  I mean, I knew he
liked me and he told me that he wanted everyone at work to know about us, but
it didn’t really sink in until that moment.  Until I saw the hurt in his
eyes when he thought I might be going out with someone else.

If only he knew how I
felt about Nick!  He has no need to be worried about Tom, but Nick on the
other hand… I don’t want to hurt Seth, but what he is asking for… it just seems
too fast.

We had another
electricity charged elevator ride this afternoon and with Seth’s hand entwined
with mine I found it hard not to jump him.  I just don’t know anymore, if
it’s that I am so sexually deprived at the moment or if it’s more than that. 
We seem perfect for each other, in so many ways, but at the same time I am so
attracted to Nick that I find it hard not to think about him also, especially
as he still hasn’t contacted me yet today and I am extremely nervous that he
may be waiting at the train station or at my apartment when I get there.

But Seth’s right, I
can see a future with him. 
ARGH!  I’m just so confused!
 
Seth’s passion filled kiss as he said goodbye to me at the station didn’t help
any.

The anticipation of
what tonight might bring has been building all day.  I haven’t heard from
Em
at all, but then I haven’t texted her like she asked
that rainy morning either.  I’ve thought about it but I rather get the
feeling that she would cancel on me if I was to contact her, so I don’t give
her the
chance to.  I decide that I will just turn up
at her apartment.  If I’m in front of her that shyness of hers is likely
to kick in and I don’t think she will be able to close the door on me, she’s
just too polite.

After work I headed
over to the gym for a workout and then called into Dan’s work for a bit. 
He has been so busy with Jo that I haven’t seen or heard of him much
lately.  He was just as lovesick as ever and barely recognisable as my
former best friend.  Suffice to say, I didn’t stay long.

I phone an order of
pizza through to my favourite local pizza place and then have a shower. 
Wiping the condensation from the mirror in my parents’ small bathroom, I catch
my reflection and realise I’m actually grinning.  What is it about this girl
that has me so excited to see her?  I get out my shaver and set to work on
making myself presentable.  I’m so caught up in my daydream of
Em
in her soaking wet glory from that morning that I manage
to cut myself with the shaver, something I never do.  I tear a small piece
of tissue and place it on my spot in the old-fashioned way that my older
brother George taught me years back when I first began to shave.

I get dressed in my
favourite pair of jeans and a light blue long sleeve top, grab my keys, phone
and wallet and bounce out the door with a quick shout out to my mum.  I
pick up the pizza on the way and walk with an extra bounce in my step to
Em’s
apartment.

It’s almost 7:30 and
still no word from Nick.  I’m starting to wonder if he’s had a better
offer.  But this morning when I rushed past him he did say that he would
see me tonight, didn’t he?  Did I hear him wrong?  He could just be
coming over as my friend, to hang out, if he’s coming at all.  Am I reading
Nick right?  I mean, is he even interested in me?  Maybe I’m wrong
about him.  Maybe he won’t have sex with
just anyone
.  Maybe
he’s not attracted to me in the slightest and really does want to be friends
with me because he could never see himself doing anything physical with me
anyway.  Maybe he even finds me repulsive. 

I hear a knock at the
door so I guess I’m about to find out.

Maybe I can just
pretend that I’m not home.

Another
knock, this one louder.
 I somehow manage to pull myself up from
the couch.  I take a deep breath and make my way to the door. 
I
can do this! 
When I open it Nick is there, looking sexier than
ever.  He looks like he has come fresh from a shower, his hair is still
damp and he smells divine.  Breathing in his cologne or body wash or
whatever, I feel a little lightheaded, like his appeal is even stronger because
of it, he completely overwhelms me.

“Hey
there.”
 
He smiles a genuine and
breathtaking smile.  I literally feel like I’m about to feint.  My
heart races and I feel a little shaky.  “Are you okay?”  I realise
that I’ve been staring and I’m not exactly sure how long we have been standing
here.

“
Mhmm
, aha, yep, all good.
  Come in,” I manage
to stutter out as I pull the door open wider and move aside.

“Have you eaten dinner?”

“Um
no.”
  I had decided to skip dinner tonight, as I don’t have much of
an appetite when I am this nervous.

“I was hoping you
would say that.  I have pizza,” he says lifting his arm that is
holding the square box that I hadn’t even noticed.  He smiles cheekily at
me and it makes me relax, well just a tiny bit anyway.  The smell of the
pizza hits my nose and I realise that I may just be hungry after all.  “I
hope you like BBQ
Meatlovers
.”

“Sure.  It
smells delicious.  Do you want a Coke with that?”  I ask making my
legs take me to the fridge, it requires great effort.

“Sure,
but no fries.”
  He laughs at his own joke, but I’m too nervous to
respond.  He places the pizza box on the table and then walks back to
me. 
“Plates?”

I motion to the
cupboard on his left and he helps himself.  He’s always so casual and
relaxed, which only adds to his appeal.  We
both take
a seat at the table at the same time and I watch silently as he opens the box
and puts a slice of pizza on a plate then passes it to me.

“Thanks.”

“You’re
welcome.”  I shift uncomfortably when he looks at me then, but I try to
hide it with a weak smile.  I watch his mouth as he takes a bite of pizza.

“Dig in, before it
goes cold,” he says breaking my concentration on his lips.

“Right,” I say as I
pick up my slice and take a bite.  I’m too distracted to realise until the
second bite, that it is really very good pizza.  I moan my appreciation
without even meaning to.

“Not
bad huh?”
  Nick says between mouthfuls, giving me a nudge with his
elbow.  I only nod my agreement, slightly dazed at his beautiful face and
the tingling that his small touch has left behind.  “So what’s got you so
red-faced today?  You seem a little on edge
Em
,” he
says with a hint of humour in his voice. 
Is he making fun of me? 
Do I really look that nervous?

“I’m fine,” I
reply unconvincingly.

“Is it only getting
all wet that makes you confident?” he asks with a sexy smirk that does
make me wet a little.  I almost choke on my pizza.  I’m not sure if
he is expecting a response to that, but I don’t give him one because I have no
idea how to answer him.  Obviously he is referring to the foolish way I
invited him over here the other day.
 
He
is obviously laughing at my expense yet again.  I feel my face heat. 
“I love that I make you blush so easily.”