Finding My Way (4 page)

When Josie and her class start rolling their mats up a huge sigh washes over me. After staring at her in spandex for the last forty-five minutes, I’m ready to see her, to touch her. I look at the clock and count off the seconds until the bell rings. It will take me approximately a minute and a half to get across campus to her locker, piece of cake.

I’m up and out of my seat before the sound of the bell echoes through the school, realizing then that I never took my textbook out of my backpack. It’s Monday, right? School is very overrated in my opinion anyway.

When I come around the corner I see Katelyn and Mason with Josie. This instantly brings a smile to my face. They’re my family and the only ones who truly understand me. Josie is leaning against her locker, her face pensive.

“Wait until Liam sees this,” I overhear Mason say as I approach them.

“Sees, what?” I ask as I bend down to kiss my girl before turning to Mason. “What’s this?” Mason hands me a piece of paper. It’s folded into fours like the notes girls would pass to us in class back in middle school. I open it and read it, wishing my eyes were deceiving me, but they’re not. I take a deep breath and look at Josie. “What’s this, Josie?”

“I don’t know. Katelyn brought it to me. I don’t even know what it says.”

I look at Katelyn who shrugs as if this is no big deal when in reality it’s huge. I’m going to kick someone’s ass, someone who deserves to have a freaking beat down for even looking at my girl.

“He gave it to me in history class,” Katelyn says as Mason wraps his arms around her. I know he knows what I’m thinking but if he thinks I’m going to take it out on Katelyn, he’s nuts. She’s like a sister to me.

As pissed off as I am I can’t help but find the humor. Does this asshole really think a love letter to my girl is going to win him any brownie points? I look at the paper and try to contain my laughter.

“It says,” I start. “
Dear Josephine, Do you realize how beautiful you are? I see you in the halls and wish I had the courage to talk to you, but I don’t. I wouldn’t know what to say. I would like to get to know you better. Call me. Yours, Nicholas Ashford
.”

Mason and I bust out laughing as soon as I’m done reading it. Josie rolls her eyes and walks away from us. I look at the letter one more time before folding it back up and slipping it into my pocket. I’m keeping this shit for later and after my fist is done reminding Ashford that Josie is mine, he can have his letter back.

I run to catch up with Josie before she enters her class. I don’t say anything to her as I guide her out the double doors and toward the football field. No one will come out here, especially if they saw us heading this way.

I spin her around and push her up against the concrete wall of the concession stand. I know she’s angry with me for being a Neanderthal, but I can’t help it when it comes to her. She’s mine and I don’t share well. My hands cup her ass, her legs wrapping around my hips instantly. I move my hand to her face, cupping her cheek as my mouth captures hers. “Do you want to call Ashford?” I ask as my other hand moves under her skirt.

Josie shakes her head and that’s enough for me. I know my girl is faithful. She’s never given me a reason to be jealous, but I know I am of Ashford.

“He’s jealous of me, baby. He wants everything I have. Please don’t give it to him.”

“I won’t, I promise.”

In my heart I know she won’t, but right now that’s not good enough. I need more. I work the buttons on my jeans and release myself, plugging right into her. It’s stupid having sex without a condom, but right now I need this from her.

The moment her mouth drops open, I take advantage with my tongue. Her nails are digging into my neck, encouraging me. I’m trying to be gentle and not slam her against the wall but she feels too good and I’m having a hard time controlling myself. I pull back a little and slam into her again. She whimpers into my mouth before biting my lower lip. Our eyes are open and focused on each other. I love this girl with everything that I am.

I thrust a few times before saying the words that are going to piss her off. “I need to pull out.”

“What, why?” she asks, moving her body in rhythm with mine making it hard for her to keep control.

“No condom,” I say as I pull out. I have to set her down quickly and move away from her so I can finish myself off. It only takes a few seconds, which is not a good sign. I wipe my hands on my jeans and right myself before going back to her and pulling her into my arms. “I love you, Jojo.”

She leans her head on my shoulder with her arms around my waist. “We can’t be stupid like that, Liam. A baby would totally mess up your future.”

“And yours,” I say.

“I could handle it. You don’t need the stress. You’re so close to achieving all your dreams,” she says in between the kisses she’s placing on my neck. This isn’t the answer I’m looking for. She’s supposed to be angry with me and she’s not. She’s too freaking worried about my goals and dreams and not her own. She should have her own damn dreams for the future and not brushing off that we just had sex without a condom.

I step away from her and make sure her hair isn’t messy and her clothes are straight before we walk hand in hand back to school. We ditched class and she’ll probably get a call home even though I know that I won’t. That’s how this school works. The
golden boy
can do no wrong. Maybe I need to use that fact to my advantage more often.

Chapter 7

T
he calls from scouts are starting to come in and it pisses me off that my dad is fielding them. He bought me a cell phone for this exact reason, yet coach still gives out my home number. Sterling will not choose my college for me. I refuse to allow that to happen. This isn’t an opportunity for him to relive his life through me. I will not live in a state that I don’t like or that is too far from Josie. She’s far too important for me to be away from her.

Another evaluation period is coming up and knowing this has me on edge. These coaches and scouts are snooping around my life and there isn’t shit I can do about it. They talk to teachers, coaches and whoever else they want so they can find out what type of kid I am. “
A rich, snobby one who gets away with everything because of what he’s done for his school
” needs to be the answer they give, but they won’t. I’m sure their responses are all scripted to suit each recruiter that comes through town. If this were a recruiting week, they’d all be waiting by my truck when I get out of practice. That will be a nice week.

We’re sitting pretty at number one in the standings. Four wins with one of them being too close for my liking. Winning by three is not how I like to end my games. We played well, but they played better. I’m just thankful that there were no scouts out that night. Not only am I worried about myself, but I’m also worried about my teammates. Everyone wants to play at the next level and that falls onto me. If I perform well, they do too. We’re a team, a family.

I take my helmet off when coach blows the last whistle of the day and head toward the locker room. The mood of the team is somber. It always is after a close game. As their captain it’s my job to reassure them, and I do. We won’t have another close game like that. Not on my watch.

When I get to the parking lot, my girl is lying on the top of my truck. She’s wearing those sassy little cut-offs with her hair in braids, a plaid shirt and cowboy boots. And she’s the farthest thing from a cowgirl. But she is sexy as hell. I have to stop and stare at her for a minute, just to get the full effect. That girl right there is mine and she’s waiting for me. I smile and cock my head.

“Whatcha doing, Jojo?” I feign innocence as I step up to her. She winks at me as she slides off my truck and into my arms.

“You know the only thing you’re missing is a hat.”

Her eyes raise and a cute little grin appears. She’s up to something. Josie leans forward and nuzzles my neck making me thankful that I took a shower after practice.

“I have dinner for you.”

Yes, my girl knows what I like to eat. “Are your parents’ home?”

Josie leans back and slaps me across the chest causing me to laugh. “What?”

“Really, Liam, is that all you think about?”

“Since I popped your cherry, yes. I’m a guy and I have a hot fucking girlfriend who I happen to love and thoroughly enjoy being with, and she also happens to be standing here in a pair of shorts that are tempting me. They’re so short and I can easily slide my fingers up your legs to where I know you want me. Forgive me if my mind is in the gutter.”

Josie kisses me hard, running her hands through my still damp hair. “I made you dinner,” she tells me again, pulling away too soon. She rests her forehead against mine briefly. “There’s a picnic basket in the back, I thought we could go to the Cliffs and watch the sunset.”

“I’d like that.” She doesn’t know how much her doing this means to me. I kiss her once before throwing my football gear into the back of my truck. I open the door and let her slide in first before following her.

I rest my hand on her leg as we drive out of the school parking lot. For October, it’s still warm, an Indian summer they call it. I don’t care what the name is I love it. The weather allows me to roll the windows down and feel the wind in my hair, well what I have for hair. I love the fact that Josie doesn’t say anything about the wind messing up her hair. I feel her move closer, her hand resting on my leg and her head resting on my shoulder. I don’t know what she’s thinking, but for me, I’m thinking I don’t want this to ever end. I want to stay where we are and not have to grow up and move away from each other, but staying here doesn’t provide a future for us. I have to take one for the Westbury/Preston team, her and I, and do what I need to do to support her.

We pull into the Cliffs. They’re not really a part of anything but a roadside destination created years ago. They were dubbed “the Cliffs” because of their high elevation. That scares some people, but I think they’re worth it. If you walk down the well-worn path you’ll find some open spaces that look out of the river where you can watch the sunrise or sunset on any given day.

Aside from two other cars, the place is deserted. Just the way I like it. It means Josie and I can be alone with no one bothering me about the upcoming football game or what college I’m going to choose. It means we can sit here and have some peace and quiet. Although quiet is the last thing I want.

I take her hand in mine and pick up the picnic basket from the back of my truck. Josie made sure we’d be prepared and has a blanket in her other hand. I pull her close and kiss her before guiding her down the path. She takes the lead and finds a spot for us, spreading out the blanket and taking the basket from my hand.

I walk to the edge of the cliff and look out over the rocky slope that feeds into a vast river. The water is flowing after the rainfall we had. We swim here every now and again, but most of the time we prefer Katelyn’s pool. The girls really don’t like the river anyway. They’re afraid they’re going to catch something.

Josie’s arms come around my waist. I lean into her and tighten my hands on her arms, holding her in place. She’s my peace. My calm. I just need her in my life to make everything okay.

“We should eat,” she says, whispering into my back. I nod and let go of her hands, but grab one to hold while we walk back to the blanket. It dawns on me that in four years I can be hearing those words from her all the time and yesterday that seemed like a long time, but tonight, it seems like tomorrow. I know I’m going to spend the rest of my life with her.

We sit down and eat chicken and pasta. I know her mom made it for us and she’s a damn good cook. Mr. Preston always jokes that’s why he keeps her around and that Josie better learn how to cook if she plans to keep me happy.

Once we’re done she crawls in between my legs and rests her head on my shoulder. I hold her in my arms as we watch the sunset, casting the perfect glow over the river. I could sit like this every day and not have a care in the world. Unfortunately, it will be back to reality for me as soon as I get home. The pile of college letters will be sitting there and Sterling will be looking at his calendar to schedule visits. None of which I want to go on. I want to sit here and hold my girl and watch this sunset over and over again because right now it’s my favorite time of the day.

Chapter 8

M
y father’s office light is on when I pull into our driveway. I was hoping that he wouldn’t be here when I came home. The last thing I want to do is talk to him. We have nothing civil to say to each other and we definitely don’t agree on my college career path. He wants me to play in the SEC and I want to do anything but. The schools in the SEC are fantastic, but it’s the fact that it’s what Sterling wants that makes me want to avoid every single recruiter that comes knocking, just to spite him.

I carry my football gear into the house through the garage and leave it by the basement door for my mom to wash. Drunk or not, she’s a master at getting out the grass stains. The kitchen is dark and empty with everything from dinner – if they even had dinner – put away. My mom wasn’t waiting for me to come home at all and if she was, I have no doubt that Sterling told her that I would not be eating since I didn’t go home after practice.

I have rules that I break often. My father doesn’t think I need a social life unless he approves of who it’s with. I can date any of the socialites from the country club or any of his business partners’ daughters, but he won’t acknowledge that I’m in love with Josie Preston. She’s not good enough for me and she doesn’t deserve to be on the arm of a Westbury.

Imagine being fifteen and asking a girl out for the first time only to have your father tell you she’s trash. I don’t know if it was that moment that I knew I hated my father or not. What I did know was that it didn’t matter what he said about Josie, I was going to be with her.

The television is on in the family room and I can hear ice dropping into a glass. I could stop in there and say hi to my mom, but by now she’s had so much vodka that she’s in a haze. And what’s the point? It’s not like she’s going to ask how my day was. But I want to talk to her. I want her to ask. I want her to care. I don’t think it’s too much to want at least one parent to give a shit about you, is it?