Finding North (22 page)

John looked at him out of
the corner of his eye and gave an almost imperceptible nod of his
head.

“
You remember?” Jack
asked.

“
Flashes,” John
said.

“
Then Rita, God love her,
takes you to England,” Jack said. “I know how fierce Rita can be,
but she couldn’t have been much of a mum to you.”

“
What are we talking
about?” John asked.

“
I’m trying to say that I
understand,” Jack said. “Now, you have all of this — some given,
some worked for — and, last year, you came near to losing it
all.”

John grunted and started
putting the meat on the grill.

“
I came near to losing
everything, too,” Jack said.

John looked at his
brother-in-law for a moment before returning his attention to the
grill.

“
Got anything wet?” Jack
asked.

John nodded to the
cabinet.

“
I spent some time with
that Alex of yours,” Jack said. “On the way back to the States, in
Afghanistan. I’ll tell you, she’s spectacular.”

John grunted. Jack took a
bottle of Red Breast Irish Whiskey.

“
Pricey Catholic whiskey,”
Jack said.

“
MI-6 gives Alex a couple
cases a year,” John said.

“
Why?” Jack poured an inch
of whiskey into two tumblers.

“
I don’t ask,” John
said.

Jack laughed and held out
a tumbler. John looked at the glass for a moment before taking
it.

“
Cheers,” Jack said and
clanked John’s glass.

John nodded and took a
sip. Jack downed his. John looked at him. Jack was Cian’s best
friend Eoin’s older brother. He had been a fixture in John’s rotten
life in Belfast.

“
For courage,” Jack said,
and he poured another inch of whiskey into his glass. “I need to
speak with you about private things.”

“
If you think it will make
a difference, I assure you it will not,” John said. “Your wife
killed my mother as sure as she beat her to death herself. She may
as well have stabbed Alex, given Max that heart attack, and hit Raz
in the head.”

“
She poisoned Troy and
tricked Wyatt,” Jack said. “Yes, I know.”

Jack nodded.

“
But?” John
asked.

“
No buts,” Jack said.
“You’re stating facts.”

“
Then why are you out here
in the cold?” John asked.

“
It is bloody cold, isn’t
it?” Jack asked.

“
There’s a warm
jacket . . .”John nodded to the cabinet.

“
It’s a magic chest,” Jack
said. He closed the doors and said, “A pot of gold.”

He yanked open the doors
expectantly, and John laughed. Jack took out the jacket and put it
on.

“
You must have known I was
coming,” Jack said.

“
It’s big,” John said.
“Belongs to those bodybuilders who hang around Alex. They like to
come over here and play spy.”

John pointed to an
Ethernet jack on the side of the house.

“
Like I
said . . .” Jack stretched his arms out.

“
The lamb’s almost done,”
John said. “They cook fast, so you’d better lay it on me. Because I
don’t know what I’ll do if I see Neev again.”

“
You know that your da was
a monster,” Jack said.

“
I do,” John
said.

“
He used Neev,” Jack said.
“Viciously. She joined the convent to get away from him. He’d show
up at the convent — drunk and expecting. The sisters would fight
him off — best they could, anyway. He beat more than one nun trying
to get to her . . .”

John looked at Jack when
he fell silent.

“
Called her his
‘property,’” Jack said.

John winced at the clear
picture of his father, Ronan.

“
I didn’t know any of this
until this year,” Jack said. “Neev’s been in treatment
since . . . Well, you paid for a lot of it, so you
know.”

“
Doesn’t mean I want her
here,” John said.

“
I know,” Jack said. “She
told your da about Brigid because she was angry with
Brigid.”

John’s eyes flicked to
look at Jack and then turned his attention to the lamb.

“
For not protecting her,”
Jack said. “She believed that if Brigid had been a better wife to
Ronan, her father wouldn’t . . . That’s what he told
her. ’Course it was all horseshit.”

Jack nodded.

“
She didn’t know that
Ronan would . . . I mean — how could
you?”

John’s eyes flicked to
look at Jack.

“
I would have,” John
said.

“
That’s because you were
there,” Jack said. “You weren’t there before Ronan went to the Long
Kesh. They were happy. I remember that time. They were
happy
.”

“
Except for when Ronan was
raping Neev?” John asked.

“
Good point,” Jack said.
“It’s new to me, so I haven’t worked it all through.”

They fell silent for a
moment. John moved the meat to a cooler part of the
grill.

“
You have to understand,”
Jack said. “Neev . . . She seems so tough, so put
together, but she’s not. She like the rest of you Kellys. Hell, all
of us. Got a giant hole inside.”

John shrugged and drank
his whiskey.

“
Some bastard last year
used that hole to manipulate her,” Jack said. “I can tell you,
Johnny, the last thing in the world my Neev wanted to do was leave
Ireland. She bloody hated leaving the borough. She wanted to be
home, every day. I’d suggest going to France for the summer or
Spain in the winter. She’d say she wanted to sleep in her own bed.
She wouldn’t even go back home to see your brothers and sisters —
or mine, for that matter.”

Jack’s face was scored
with pain and sadness.

“
Last year, someone used
her, maimed her . . .” Jack said. “It’s
like . . .”

“
Mental rape,” John said.
“That’s what Wyatt calls it.”

“
They left her with
something inside her that she didn’t ask for, doesn’t want, and
can’t change,” Jack said. “Our kids came . . . to
treatment, you know. They cried their eyes out. Even the boys. They
couldn’t imagine their mother doing anything like this. Our
youngest is sure it’s all a lie. But Neev, she refuses to be the
victim or tell her side. She knows the pain she’s
caused.”

Jack nodded. He looked so
sad that John touched the big man’s forearm.

“
She did it to protect
me.” Jack looked up into John’s face. “And she believed she could
protect you.”

“
Hubris,” John
said.

“
The space between hubris
and desperation is remarkably close when someone else holds all the
cards,” Jack said. “We Irish know this better than
most.”

“
Why are you here?” John
asked.

“
Your Alex invited us, if
you can believe it,” Jack said. “She told Neev that she could help
to get back at the people who did this to her. Neev would do
anything, no matter how big or small, to help.”

“
Even delay going back to
Ireland?” John asked. “Sleeping in her own bed?”

“
That’s exactly right,”
Jack said. “There’s no greater sacrifice my Neev could make than
that.”

John nodded.

“
Alex didn’t tell you we
were coming?”

“
She did,” John said. “I
just thought she’d be . . .
home . . . or . . .”

As if to gain his balance,
John looked up at the sky. He glanced at Jack and started putting
the cooked meat onto the platter.

“
Can we take the bottle
in?” Jack asked.

“
There’s a supply inside,”
John said.

“
We need a place to stay a
while,” Jack said. “Maybe more than a year.”

“
Why so long?” John
asked.

“
She’s still in
treatment,” Jack said. “The Yanks told her that, if she didn’t get
into trouble for two years, they wouldn’t charge her. I told her it
was better to stay in the impersonal States than have our neighbors
watch her check in with the Garda every day at home. She’d rather
be home, but she’ll do this for me.”

“
We just purchased the
place next door,” John said.

“
Where Cian and his lass
live?” Jack looked at the building. “Will you show me?”

Cian’s voice came from the
house, and John scowled.

“
Why not?” John turned the
burners to low and stuck the plate inside the grill.

They went around the
duplex and across Cian and Margaret’s backyard. John opened the
back door to the empty unit.

“
It’s not big,” John said.
“Two bedrooms upstairs, an open basement downstairs, and some
storage. Garage in back. We can help you furnish it.”

“
It’s small,” Jack said.
He looked from room to room. “I bet Neev will love it. Enough space
for us and the kids when they come.”

Jack nodded.

“
The kitchen is horrible,”
Jack said. “Bath, too.”

“
We’ll replace them,” John
said. “We replaced Cian’s.”

“
We’ll stay with you until
it’s done,” Jack said.

“
You’ll stay with Max,”
John said. “But you’re going to have to work it out with
Wyatt.”

“
Did that,” Jack said.
“Neev and Wyatt spent a few hours together this
afternoon.”

“
And?” John
asked.

“
He wants a brain scan,”
Jack said. “Americans are so odd. They throw technology at every
situation.”

“
He’s a scientist,” John
said.

“
I guess,” Jack said.
“He’s very . . . manly. I’m a bit surprised he
doesn’t have X-ray vision and a cape.”

John laughed. Jack slapped
John on the back.

“
We’ll get chickens,” Jack
said.

“
Fionn has a brood in our
yard,” John said.

“
Give me something to care
for until ours come in spring,” Jack said.

John groaned.

“
We’ll have goats,” Jack
said.

“
You won’t,” John
said.

“
Why?” Jack
asked.

“
If your goats get into
the garden behind our house, you’ll raise the ire of the Irish
Republicans in the household,” John said.

“
Dangerous lot,” Jack
grinned.

“
Don’t start,” John
said.

Jack walked from room to
room while John looked at the kitchen.

“
I’m a great handyman,”
Jack said. “All these properties. I bet you could use
one.”

John scowled at
him.

“
Neev is amazing with
children,” Jack said. “Those boys are a handful, and you have
twins. The lovely Ooljee followed Neev around all afternoon. Did
you know she speaks Irish?”

“
Neev?” John’s scowl
deepened.

“
Ooljee,” Jack said. “I’d
assumed you taught her.”

John nodded.

“
You know I speak the
God’s blessed truth,” Jack said. “There’s not a thing I can’t fix.
And Neev is amazing with the babbies.”

John hesitated.

“
We’ll need a vehicle,
too,” Jack said. “Is it hard to get a driving license
here?”

John laughed. He gestured
to the back of the duplex, and they left.

“
I’ll leave it unlocked so
you can show your bride,” John said.

Jack snorted. They walked
back to the grill, and John retrieved the lamb. He did a quick pass
over the fire to warm the steaks, and they headed toward the back
door.

“
We have an agreement?”
Jack asked.

“
We do,” John
said.

“
You won’t be sorry,
Johnny,” Jack said.

Jack slapped him on the
back and went inside. Cian met John at the door.

“
You worked it out?”
Cian’s face was marked with anxiety.

“
They’ll stay with Max
until the duplex is ready for them,” John said.

“
They’re in the other
side?” Cian smiled. “I hadn’t thought of that.”

Absolutely out of
character, Cian impulsively hugged John.

“
Get off me,” Cian said in
his usual gruff manner.

He pushed John away, took
the meat, and went into the kitchen. Intent on seeing his children,
John went through the kitchen to the stairwell. He ran into Neev in
the front entryway. They stared at each other.

“
I’m sorry, John,” Neev
said. “I did something so wrong . . .
I . . .”

“
If you harm a hair on
Alex’s head, I will kill you myself,” John said.

“
If I harm Alex, or
anyone, I will kill myself,” Neev said.

A small woman, his older
sister looked up at him with such deep sorrow that his heart turned
over. Unwilling to give in too easily, John gave her a terse nod
and went up the stairs. He stopped by the twins’ room. He had
missed their evening awake time. They were sound asleep, and Quince
didn’t want to wake them. He took a quick shower and changed into
jeans. When he got downstairs, Eoin had arrived with his pregnant
wife and daughter, Maeve. A few minutes later, Jack and Neev
returned from looking at the duplex. Jack gave John a nod, and John
smiled.