Finding Olivia (Trace + Olivia #1) (7 page)

“
Okay
,” his brows drew together. “Like a bucket list?”

“No,” I whispered, “I call it my Live List. It has nothing to do with dying.”

“Okay,” he repeated, “what’s on it?”

Slowly, I unfurled the folded pieces.

I stared down at the list in my hand. No one but me had ever seen these words, and now, I was about to hand it to someone who was practically a stranger. I couldn’t explain what drew me to Trace and what made me trust him. Frankly, I didn’t care.

I had written my Live List
the day before I left for college. Growing up in the household that I did, I was expected to be perfect. There were so many things that I wasn’t allowed to do. I vowed to live my life once I wasn’t stuck under my father’s roof. This list was the only form of rebellion I had. I never thought I would do any of the things on the list, even though I wanted to. I only made it for fun.

I read through it again before I handed it to him.

My Live List

1.
Get drunk

2.
Fly in a hot air balloon

3.
      
Go to the carnival

4.
     
Go to a concert (even if it’s someone I’ve never heard of)

5.
      
Go to a party

6.
      
Lose my virginity

7.
      
Dance in the rain

8.
     
Go roller skating

9.
      
See the ocean

10.
   
Learn to paint

11.
    
Get a dog…or a cat…or a rabbit. Any pet will do.

12.
   
Sing in front of real people. Avery doesn’t count.

13.
   
Make more friends

14.
  
Shoot a gun

15.
   
Smoke

16.
   
Get a tattoo

17.
   
Learn to pole dance

18.
  
Go skinny dipping

19.
   
Pierce my belly button

20.
  
Fall in love

“Here’s my list,” I handed it to Trace. “Feel free to laugh,” I sighed
, even though I hoped he didn’t. Those things had seemed so important when I made this list and now they seemed so silly.

Trace’s eyes scanned over the wrinkled piece of paper. “You’ve never been to a carnival? Or a concert?” His
piercing green eyes met mine.

“No,” I shook my head. “My dad wouldn’t allow it.”

“Not even roller skating?” He asked in disbelief.

“No,” I laughed. “I might have fallen and ended up with my legs in the air and my dad says that’s not a respectable position for a lady.”

Trace snorted. “Well,” he said, “you’ve got four things crossed off. The first three are…well…”

I blushed, knowing exactly what those three things were. “Yeah,” I groaned. “I kind of crossed
those three off in one night.”

“Really?” He raised a brow.

“Yeah,” I laughed. “Avery dragged me to a party my first week here. There was beer, so naturally I had to try it, which led me to get drunk and thinking having sex with a stranger was a good idea. It was in the bathroom and it only lasted like two minutes. It wasn’t really pleasant. I don’t know why people seem to like sex so much.”

“Olivia,” he tilted my chin up, the green of his eyes searing my very soul. “I can assure you th
at sex can be very, very, good…when it’s with the right person,” his thumb brushed my bottom lip, sending a shiver down my spine. “And,” he leaned forward, his lips brushing my ear, the stubble on his cheeks grazing my sensitive skin, “I also know with firsthand experience, that it can last a lot longer than two minutes.”

He pulled away and grinned knowingly at me.

Butterflies fluttered in my stomach and I looked away from Trace, trying not to think about performing the horizontal tango with him and wondering exactly how long it would last. I bet sex with Trace would be amazing.

Olivia
! Stop! He’s your friend!
I scolded myself.
Or not really your friend, but still! Stop it!

“So,” Trace
began, “you got your belly button pierced?” He waggled his eyebrows, staring at my shirt.

“Yep,” I rolled my eyes.
Boys.

“Show me,” he grinned cockily.

I knew Trace didn’t think I would, so that’s exactly why I pulled my shirt up, making sure the bottom edge of my bra showed.

“Damn,” Trace
whistled, and he definitely wasn’t looking at the piercing in my belly button.

“Are you staring at my boobs?” I asked with a smile and laugh
in my voice, hoping he didn’t notice the blush spreading up my chest, to my neck, and cheeks.

I knew he was
, but I wanted to hear him say it.

Trace ducked his head, his eyes landing on my stomach
, before flicking away. “Sorry about that.”

Boldly, I said, “I’m not.”

Whoa girl! Where did that come from?

I had never said or done anything like that in my life…which was pretty sad, because that was tame compared to what most people did.

Trace grinned and went back to inspecting my list. “So, you want to learn to pole dance?”

I blushed at one of the more daring ventures I had scribbled down. “I’ve heard it’s great exercise.”

Trace flashed me his cocky grin, “And it’s great viewing pleasure for men.”

I pushed his shoulder and he laughed, but
from the expression on his face, I knew he was imagining me shimming up and down a pole. Hopefully, I was doing a good job in his mind, because I knew that if I did cross that one off my list, I’d probably bruise my butt in the process.

“These are definitely doable,” he scanned over the list once more.

I was relieved that Trace hadn’t laughed at me and took my list seriously.

“I want you to
help me cross all of these off,” the words tumbled out of my mouth. “I know you don’t know me that well, but I’ve been too scared to do them on my own. I don’t want to be scared anymore, Trace,” I bit my lip to stop the floodgate of words I was spewing.

“Of course I’ll help you,” he responded immediately, not even giving it a second thought. It had become obvious to me that he was just that kind of guy, always willing to help.
He kept reading over my list, and I swallowed, wanting to snatch the piece of paper from his hands so he would stop scrutinizing it.

“Can I keep this?” He asked.

No!
I wanted to scream. But instead, the word that left my lips, was, “Sure.”

“Thanks,” he grinned, tucking it into his left breast pocket.

I looked down at the half eaten dinner sitting in my lap, looking pitiful in its container. I really hoped he couldn’t see how badly I was freaking out.

Now, not only had I told him about my father and my list, but I was letting him keep it? Had my common sense taken a hike? This was only the
fifth time I had seen Trace and I was telling him things that even Avery didn’t know!

“It’s getting late,” Trace commented.

I looked up and realized night had descended upon us.

The sky was clear, thousands of stars gazing dow
n upon us. They were so magical with the way they sparkled in the sky. When I was little, I always thought it looked like they were winking at me.

I found myself setting the food aside
, and leaning back on the table, my legs dangling.

Trace did the same, cupping the back of his head with one hand.

“They’re so pretty,” I whispered, reaching a hand up like I could capture one of those white shimmering dots in my hand. “It amazes me that the stars we’re looking at right now, could actually be dead, but because it takes so long for their light to reach the Earth they’re still shining for us.”

“It’s an amazing world we live in,” he murmured, his free arm brushing mine.

My heart thundered in my chest.

Keep it cool, Olivia!
I scolded myself.

I gasped when I saw a shooting star. “Oh my God! I’ve never seen a shooting star before!”

“Make a wish then,” he whispered, turning on his side to face me, propping his elbow on the table, and his head in his hand.

I closed my eyes
and wished for everything, anything, and nothing at all.

c h a p t e r

Six

It had been two weeks since I had seen Trace in person, but
we were constantly texting.

Every time a text from him popped up on my phone, I
smiled goofily, or at least that’s what Avery told me. I wasn’t sure if she could be trusted though, because she was miffed that she hadn’t heard from Luca.

“Seriously,” she whined for the thousandth time today, “why hasn’t he called or text me?”

“Avery,” I laughed, spinning around in my chair to face her, where she sat on her bed. “I have never seen you so worked up over a guy before.”

“He was amazing, Olivia! I’ve never kissed anyone like that before! Excuse me if I want to see what else he has to offer!”

I snickered quietly. “I’m seeing Trace tomorrow. I can ask him about Luca, if you want me to.”

“You are? And you would do that for me?” Her eyes sparkled to life.

I hid my giggle. Normally, Avery would have told me that asking a guy’s best friend about him was breaking the dating code, but obviously she was getting desperate.

“Yep,” I replied to her first question. I had no idea what we’d be doing though. All Trace had told me was that we’d be crossing something off my list. Unfortunately, that sounded ominous to me, because he could have picked any of the sixteen things left. “And of course I would do that for you. That’s what best friend
s are for.”

She nibbled o
n her fingernail. “I’m not sure. I don’t want to seem desperate.”

I hated to inform her, but she had passed
desperate
a long time ago.

“You w
on’t seem desperate,” I replied, because that was the nice, best-friend thing to say.

“No, no,” she shook her head, a grin spreading across her face. “I have a better idea.”

“Oh Lord,” I muttered, turning back to my computer, and the homework that wasn’t going to do itself. “With that smile, I’m a bit worried for Luca’s wellbeing.”

“Don’t worry, he’ll be fine,” she giggled behind me. “
After all, I need all his parts in tact and in perfect working order for what I want to do. I just need to find a really short skirt and some ‘fuck me’ heels. No guy can resist that.”

I knew the
re was no point in scolding her or trying to talk her out of whatever her plan was.

“Have fun plotting,” I muttered. “I need to finish this,” I pointed to my computer.

“Mhmm,” she mumbled, already scheming poor Luca’s demise. He didn’t stand a chance against whatever Avery was coming up with. When she set her sights on a guy, she didn’t give up, which is why I found it odd that she had waited this long for
him
to take action. Maybe she really did like him.

I looked over my shoulder at her as she typed away on her laptop; her long hair fell around her like a curtain and her red lips were pursed.

This was definitely an interesting development.

★★★

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” I begged, peering out the windshield of Trace’s car.

“No,” he snorted, “if I’m going to help you cross these things off, we do it on my terms, which means you’ll never know which one we’re doing.”

I swallowed thickly, starting to regret that I told him about my list. I didn’t like the idea of not knowing what thing I would be doing. He could’ve picked anything. There were some I could easily eliminate though. Like riding in a hot air balloon…or skinny-dipping…or falling in love. But that still left too many possibilities for my liking.

I rang my fingers together, nibbling on my bottom lip nervously.

I knew I shouldn’t be nervous, it wasn’t like he was making me do anything that I didn’t want to do. I mean, I’m the one that made the stupid list!

“You look really pale,” he commented.

“I do?” I squeaked, looking over at him.

“Don’t worry, I’m taking it easy on you. We’re doing one of the simpler things,” he explained, but I still didn’t feel any better. “It’s okay, Olivia,” he added
, comfortingly.

“I just don’t like
not
knowing which one I’m doing,” I whispered, picking at my chipped blue nail polish.

“Hey,” he said softly
, tugging on the beanie he was wearing, with one hand, “you made the list. You said that every single one is something that you want to do. It’ll be fine.”

“You’re right,” I swallowed, “I’m freaking out over nothing.”

Trace exited off of the Interstate and onto Route 7.

His change of direction still didn’t give me a clue as to where we were headed.

I was tempted to sit on my hands so I would stop fidgeting. I didn’t like feeling this antsy.

Trace came to a
stoplight, turning on his left blinker.

I bit down on my lip so that I did
n’t ask him where we were going
again
.

“Hey,” he grabbed one of my hands, steadying the dance it had been doing across my leg. “Th
is is an easy one, no strip poles, or skinny dipping is about to go down. Relax.”

Sadly, I still wasn’t
relaxed.

“Olivia,” he glanced at me
, out of the corner of his eye, and released my hand, “you trusted me with your list and you can trust me now.”

He had a point.

I nodded. “Okay. You’re right,” I conceded, but my nerves didn’t ease.

The stoplight turned green and he drove a short ways, passing a strip mall
, and Dodge dealership on the left.

He turned suddenly
onto an unmarked dirt road. I gripped the side of the car, holding on, and he chuckled at me.

I glared across the car at the side of his face. “You could’ve warned me!”

“And where’s the fun in that?” He peered at me through his aviator sunglasses, his cheeks and chin covered in stubble.

I grumbled something unintelligible, only serving to entertain him further.

We came to a stop in front of a large rectangular building. My eyes lit upon the words, skating rink, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Trace removed his sunglasses, beanie, and leather jacket.

Underneath his jacket, he wore a light blue plaid shirt, buttoned about halfway up his chest, and a white wife-beater underneath. I was beginning to think all he owned were plaid shirts. I had yet to see him in anything else.

“What?” He asked, looking down
at his shirt. “Is there something on it? I swear, I got it out of the clean clothes pile,” he grumbled, picking at the bottom edge of the shirt, looking for a stain.

“Nothing’s on it,” I promised, “I was just thinking about how you only wear plaid shirts.”

He grinned, letting his shirt fall back in place. “I like plaid.”

“I can tell,” I laughed.

“I also,” he leaned close to me, which wasn’t hard in his car, and his breath skimmed across my bare collarbone, “
really
like these shoes you keep wearing.” His fingers grazed over my knee and I held my breath so I didn’t start hyperventilating.

“They’re Avery’s,” I squeaked, “but she gave them to me.”

“You’ll have to thank her for me,” he whispered, brushing my hair off my shoulder, and my pulse accelerated.

“Mhmm, I can do that,” my eyes followed his fingers as they skimmed down my neck.

He leaned even closer, and I thought this was it, he’s going to kiss me.

But instead, he grinned cockily
, and slid back to his side of the car. “We’ve got some roller skating to do.”

I squished my eyes closed and took a deep breath.

Damn him for getting me all worked up like that. It wasn’t fair.

When I opened my eyes, he was already out of the car
, and closing the door.

I scurried after him as fast as I could.

He held the door for me and I followed him to where we paid for our skates.

Luckily, I outsmarted him by cutting in front of him
, to pay for my own roller skates.

“That won’t happen again,” he whispered in my ear
as we walked away from the counter. “I’m onto you,” he narrowed his eyes as he walked backwards, passed me.

I sat down
on a bench and pulled off my shoes, then realized, I didn’t have socks. I sighed in disgust.

“I’m not wearing socks and that’s not exactly something I carry around in my purse,” I grumbled, glaring at my bare feet
, and then at the skates I knew were far from sanitary.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered,” Trace winked, sitting down beside me
, and handing me a pair of socks. “They’re clean but they’ll be a little big on you.”

“I’ll make do,” I smiled gratefully at him, taking the wadded
up ball of socks from his hand. “I hope you’re prepared to handle my suckiness.” I looked out onto the rink where a group of teenagers was skating. It was clear they knew what they were doing and that scared me further. I’d fall flat on my butt as soon as I set foot on the rink.

“That’s what the beginner’s rink is for,” he pointed to a different rink on our right.

It was full of small children and their parents.

“Great,” I rolled my eyes. “This is going to be wonderful.”

“You’re the one that wanted to do it, so stop complaining,” he bent to lace up his skates. “We’ll have fun and I won’t let you fall.”

He was probably right. I wouldn’t fall
. Why? Because I’d be crawled halfway up his body, holding on for dear life.

I had
put roller-skating on my list, because I’d always wanted to do it when I was younger. Now, looking at the four wheels on the bottom of the skates and the slippery wood floor, I didn’t think it was a good idea. I had already proven myself to be clumsy around Trace, and this would make it worse.

“Ready?” He asked me.

There was nothing I could do to stall.

“Yeah,” I mumbled reluctantly.

Trace held out a hand for me and I placed mine in it. His hand was warm and rough from hard work.

“
I won’t let you go,” he promised, guiding me across the carpeted floor.

This wasn’t so bad, but I knew the
carpet was giving me false hope.

Trace stepped onto the rink first and my heart began to race in fear.

I did
not
want to fall and bruise my butt. Not only would I embarrass myself, but I’d also be sore.

“You can trust me,” he coaxed. His green eyes were encouraging.

I placed one foot onto the hardwood rink and immediately felt myself slip. I reached out, grabbing the half-wall that separated the rink, from the carpeted area.

“Olivia,” Trace warned.

I whimpered, letting go of the wall, and latched onto his arm.

I
’m sure we looked strange, with him holding my left hand in his right, and me gripping his right forearm.

Trace made a face as my nails dug into his
skin.

“I told you, I won’t let you fall,” he looked into my eyes. “Relax,” he added, soothingly.

Unwillingly, I let go of his arm.

I instantly felt even more off balance.

Why on Earth had I ever wanted to go roller-skating? I think I’d rather be pole dancing!

I held onto Trace’s hand like…well, like it was the only thing holding me up, which it was.

“It’s okay, Olivia,” he squeezed my hand, studying my tense face. I’m sure I looked like someone who just spotted a giant ass spider, but I couldn’t wipe the look of fear off my face. I hated that Trace was seeing me freak out like this. He didn’t know me well, and I didn’t want him to think I was a scaredy cat…which I was. But my father had made me that way, by sheltering me so much. Things that seemed normal to most people were completely foreign to me.

I eased off a bit on the death grip I had on his hand.

He smiled encouragingly.

I looked at the children around us. For most of them, this was probably the first time they’d been roller-skating. If they could do this without holding onto their moms and dads, then I could do this without hanging onto Trace.

I let his hand slip from mine and began to wobble.

His large hands clasped me by the waist before I could fall.

“I’ve got you,” he hummed, his chest pressed against my back.

I smiled in relief even though he couldn’t see. “Thank you,” I whispered.

“I told you I wouldn’t let you fall and I meant it. I’m a man of my word, Olivia,” he murmured and my stomach fluttered.

I had been attracted to plenty of guys over the years. I even had a few schoolyard crushes like everyone else. But no one had ever made me feel the way Trace did. The nerves and
heart fluttering I felt around him were entirely new.