Finding the Center Within: The Healing Way of Mindfulness Meditation. (13 page)

You can work with
equanimity
in the following way: “Breathing in, I feel
peaceful
. Breathing out, I feel
centered
.” Cultivate an open, nonreactive attitude. Alternatively, dwell with each of these words quietly, as in the contemplative prayer tradition described earlier in this chapter (“Dwell with a Word or a Phrase”).

If you have trouble touching the reality of the brahma-viharas and experiencing them vividly, there are two things to do: work more imaginatively, and examine the resistance. If you have trouble feeling joy, for example, focus on the good things in your life right now. For example,

“Breathing in, I am aware I have a healthy body. Breathing out, I smile to my body.” Or, “Breathing in, I am grateful for the love of my partner. Breathing out, I smile to this love.” Or, “Breathing in, I am glad I have good food to eat. Breathing out, I smile to my food.” In this way, some quiet feelings of joy may begin to emerge. If you have trouble experiencing compassion or lovingkindness, summon whatever memories you can of when you were the recipient of these—even in small ways. Or to vivify your experience of equanimity, remember a time when you felt something like that—perhaps looking at the ocean, or camping in the mountains, or noticing a beautiful tree in the park that gave you a feeling of calm.

When you encounter resistance to the cultivation of these attitudes, simply note the nature of it, breathe with the resistance, and then let it go. Remember that resistance is natural. Its surfacing shows that your practice is beginning to have an effect and to loosen some of your conditioned patterns. Neither deny it nor struggle against it. This practice is like cultivating a garden. If you have a vegetable or flower garden, you want to encourage your flowers and vegetables to grow. You want them to be well fed and watered, and not strangled by weeds. So you weed, fertilize, and water to help your flowers and vegetables thrive. Meditating with the brahma-viharas is watering and fertilizing the love, joy, and peace that is in you. For while there will always be weeds—as any gardener knows—that is not so bad as long as you have taken good care of your plants so that they can survive. Cultivating love, compassion, joy, and equanimity will help you survive many difficulties. When you bring this into your daily life, the power of this practice is very great.

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Sometimes you might enjoy moving from sound to silence within a period of meditation. Begin with full phrases and sentences, such as in the gathas and mantras noted above. For example, “All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well,” or, “The Lord is my light.” Then as you begin to calm down, just dwell on a word, such as
well
or
light
. At first, as you move into the single-word phase of your meditation, you can time it with the breath by saying the word to yourself on the out-breath. Then, as you go a little deeper, just let the single word sit on the edge of your mind without connecting it to the breath, saying it to yourself whenever your focus gets fuzzy. Then finally, if you reach a deep enough level, let go of words completely, and open yourself to silence. Go from Motion to Stillness

A Jewish style of prayer called
davening
involves rocking slightly back and forth as you pray. This can be very calming and soothing, like being rocked by your mother when you were an infant. If you are agitated, try rocking back and forth for a while, and then gradually bring the rocking to a halt. The movement from motion to stillness can help you feel still inside.

Inner Light Meditation

In the Quaker tradition, one meditates on the inner light. Similarly, some Buddhist traditions talk about a “clear light.” You can picture this as a white radiance at the center of your chest. This area is known as the heart chakra—a powerful center of spiritual energy. Inner light meditation can seem quite different at first from mindfulness meditation that focuses on direct experiences, such as the breath or a flower. But it will appeal to people who resonate with religious symbols and imagery. If this appeals to you, you might enjoy this form of meditation. Any practice that calms the mind can prepare you to be more awake and enlightened.

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Take a Break

It is okay to take very short breaks when you sit, especially if you are working on extending your meditation period. Simply allow your mind to blank out for a moment or two. You might stretch your legs out a bit, or just allow yourself to look out the window and let your mind go into neutral for a few moments. Try to do this mindfully and intentionally, rather than just being pulled out of your meditation. That is, decide to take a short break instead of being pulled out of your practice by thoughts or distractions. Then decide to return. Notice where your mind goes as you gently come back to your breathing or other focus.

Practice Walking Meditation

Many Zen teachers consider this an essential meditation practice. Learning to meditate while walking is also a good bridge to sitting meditation for active people. In most Zen centers, walking meditation is interspersed between periods of sitting. This is in part to stretch the legs, wake up, and promote circulation. But it is more than that. Walking meditation connects sitting meditation with the rest of your life. The basic instruction for walking meditation is to become deeply aware of the act of walking. If you are in a private setting, you can walk very slowly. As you take the first step, breathe in and say the word
in
to yourself. Then you take another step, saying the word
out
to yourself. The words are not there to be mechanical, but to encourage you to focus on your breath and on the sensations of walking. The words give your active mind something to do with itself besides run in the wellworn channels of your worries, fears, and regrets. Let them gently pull you into the present. Feel your feet as they touch the ground. Get in touch with how wonderful it is to simply move on the earth in this way, making peaceful steps.

In some forms of walking meditation, you focus on the process of walking by saying the word
lift
to yourself as you lift your foot,
move
as you swing it forward, and then
place
as you set it down. You might like to experiment with this, as long as it doesn’t become mechanical and interfere with a sense of enjoyment of walking. If you are walking in public view, you probably want to walk at a 03 BIEN.qxd 8/18/03 12:25 PM Page 73

Take Refuge

Buddhists take refuge daily in the three jewels of Buddha, the dharma, and the sangha. There are powerful lessons in this for non-Buddhists as well.

To take refuge in the Buddha is to take refuge in the wise person within yourself. For a Christian, this might be to take refuge in the mystical Christ, the Christ within; for the Hindu, to take refuge in Krishna or other enlightened person. But you do not need to be religious to understand that what you are doing is affirming the wisdom that is already within you and that it is possible for you to come into a more intimate relationship with that wisdom.

Dharma,
in this context, means teaching. Again, the important thing to realize is that in taking refuge in some teaching, you are ultimately taking refuge in the teaching that is within you. When you are in touch with this inner teaching, then every experience that you have teaches. The
sangha
is the community. It can be very helpful to have some kind of community of practice to provide support and encouragement. However, this is not always possible in a literal sense. You may be better off on your own than part of a practice group that is unhealthy or just not right for you—especially early in your practice. Even then, you do not have to be without a sangha. Your sangha might be, in part, a small set of books that you read and reread in the morning. Your sangha 03 BIEN.qxd 8/18/03 12:25 PM Page 74

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might be the bird outside your window as you meditate. It might be one friend or your partner or spouse if he or she meditates with you. Walk the Path of Devotion

In Hinduism, there is a way of practice called
bhakti yoga
. This is the way of devotion to a realized person or enlightened being. While yoga practices might prescribe meditation on “the lotus of the heart” or on the realization that “atman is Brahman” (God immanent is God transcendent, or the God within is the God without), many people find it difficult to simply sit and meditate on something so abstract. It is much easier to devote yourself to some enlightened person—

to imagine what it would be like to be with such a person or to even be that person.

Most of us need human examples to follow, so this practice is a natural one for many people. Perhaps that is why it is found in many religious traditions all around the world. The oldest teachings of Buddhism do not involve any form of bhakti, but emphasize one’s own direct experience (such as the breath). But later Buddhism also developed this kind of practice. One might focus on some sage or bodhisattva (one who is dedicated to saving others) or the pure land where Buddha dwells. Christianity can be conceived of as a form of bhakti yoga centered on Christ. If this approach speaks to you, or if it is a part of your spiritual heritage that you wish to preserve, it may help your meditation greatly to incorporate such elements. Herbert Benson found that the positive effects of meditation are more profound when people incorporate their own religious faith into it. So perhaps you will want to find a way to do this.

Start an Inspirational Bookshelf

A lot of books dedicated to help you live more spiritually will insist on the absolute necessity of finding a teacher. Whenever I read a book that says this, I think, “Then why do I need this book?” If the teacher will tell you what you need to know, you may only get confused with different styles if you read books, too. 03 BIEN.qxd 8/18/03 12:25 PM Page 75

We have provided you with a lot of alternative methods here. It is probably not wise to try to use them all. So you have to choose. How do you know which ones you should try? Ultimately, no one can tell you the answer to this question. This is fortunate, because you must trust your own instincts about which practices attract you, and which do not. Consider these questions. How do you decide:

•

which pair of shoes to buy?

•

which book you will buy in the bookstore?

•

which route you will take to work?

•

which person to marry?

•

which career to follow?

Ultimately, you know that nobody else can give you the answers. Others may have useful things to say about these decisions, but anything others have to say is provisional. You know that you have to make up your own mind about what feels right, try that out, and see how it goes. In China and Japan, they advise you to ask your belly concerning major decisions, meaning, look deeper than just your abstract reasoning.

However, if you feel confused by too many options, here is a place to start. Try it for a while and then modify it according to your own experience.

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PRACTICE

Basic Meditation

1. Find a comfortable, quiet place.

2. Sit in a manner that allows you to be relaxed but also alert. Sitting up straight avoids drowsiness and, according to many traditions, aligns centers of spiritual energy. Place attention on the body, letting it find its own natural straightness and stability. 3. Let yourself settle in and center down. Start with being aware of what is around you, using all sense modalities: what you see, hear, smell, touch, and taste, if applicable. Gradually tune inward by focusing on your breath, breathing gently in and out, experiencing each breath as a quiet and simple pleasure, becoming one with it, making no effort to change or alter your breathing in any way, but just experiencing it. A
slightly
greater amount of attention to the out-breath can be helpful.

4. Trust the process. Don’t try to make anything special happen, or worry whether you are doing it right. Whatever happens is right for you now. Be present with whatever happens. Meditation is nothing special—just a time to
be
.

5. Ultimately, there are no distractions. If your mind wanders to things other than the breath, then just be aware of it. When you can, return to the breath. Tell yourself: “Thinking, thinking.” Smile at your busy brain.

6. Continue for a comfortable period of time.

Enjoy Your Practice

All of us have probably known someone who “found religion” and became more difficult than ever to be around. Perhaps they pray or meditate for long periods, but it seems that instead of this opening them up and making them happy, they become all the more rigid and anxious. This is a sign that they are pushing too hard. Do not let this happen to you. Proceed down this path with joy. It is true that the first fifteen or twenty minutes are the hardest and that you often reach the best part of your meditation only after that. So there is good reason to lengthen 03 BIEN.qxd 8/18/03 12:25 PM Page 77