Finding Their Balance (5 page)

The couch cushion itched. Or the tag in her dress was the culprit. Easing prickly emotions had never been her strong suit. She always fumbled the words.

Jay laid the cookie tray aside. “Your husband did a good job. Henry’s amazing at figuring out what we need when we need it.” Bouncing against her in his casual puppy sprawl, he matter-of-factly waded into the emotional whirlpool. “Too bad Master William doesn’t get to use his training as often. I met his wife once. She hated me, and I wasn’t even trying to get in her husband’s pants.”

Sugar-rush filled, he launched to his feet. He gestured wildly, hunching his shoulders and raising his voice to a shrill, nasal tone as he imitated Santa’s wife ranting over dinner while Henry tried to converse with his friend.

Laughter pinked Emma’s cheeks.

“—commented on her unusual placement choice for the floral arrangement. He was extra-polite.” Dropping to the sofa, Jay jostled her seat. “I got to pick flower petals out of his hair when we got home.”

Alice mimed plucking petals from his hair. “Beautifully done,” she whispered. “He’ll be so proud of you.”

With his honesty, Jay had made excellent inroads with the other subs, and Emma had professed certainty word would spread. And easing Emma’s loneliness? No way she could’ve managed, not like Henry’s joyful comedian.

“Is this a closed party, or is anyone welcome?”

Henry.

She whipped around as Jay hopped to his feet. Trained until desire became instinct, flowers opening to the sun or hounds running to his whistle. Jay danced in place, waiting for a command.

“Henry.” Standing with substantially more calm, Emma beckoned him in. “You’re always welcome.”

He greeted Emma with a light kiss on her cheek and a half-embrace.

For the first time, shadows of inadequacy left Alice undisturbed. She didn’t have to compete for Henry’s affection.

“I’ve come to collect my lovelies.” Stepping back, Henry glanced at the two of them.

She idly wished he’d turn. With his dress shirt tucked in, missing the tailored drape of his slacks over his ass constituted a crime.

“Be proud, Henry. They did well.” Emma cast a broad smile at Jay, but he only had eyes for Henry. “Though I’m sure they’ll be happy to get home. They’ve had a big day.”

Henry smiled and Alice chortled, recalling Jay’s preferred definition of a big day. Henry’s cock definitely qualified.

“I wish I’d been having a big day,” Jay teased under his breath.

“Come here, my dear boy.”

Jay plastered himself to Henry and burrowed against his neck.

Wrapping him up, Henry whispered something that made Jay squirm. He stretched out his other arm. “Alice, did you enjoy the tea?”

“I think it was a success.” The mental inventory scrolled. They had so many things to tell him.

Tucking her by his side, he kissed her with unhurried tenderness.

“But I’ll take your kisses over tea any day.”

Six fifty-five on Friday night. Lounging with Jay on the couch, she studied the clock with annoying regularity. What were theoretical physicists doing if not developing ways to control time? She’d build the damn mechanism herself—six fifty-six—if they’d tell her what materials would make haste possible.

“Nervous?”

“He kicked us out of the bedroom.” Half an hour ago. No subs in the bedroom until Henry commanded them. He’d disappeared inside, and now it was four—no, three—minutes to seven. “What do you think he’s doing in there?”

Jay shrugged and reached for her feet.

She yanked her legs back from the tickling threat.

He launched from the other end of the couch and sprawled atop her. Heavy and warm, in his thin T-shirt and soft sweats, he exuded the woodsy freshness of his post-work shower. “Something that’ll make us very happy?”

“An excellent guess.” As the clock hit seven, Henry emerged from the hall. “Certainly one in line with my intent.”

Jay scrambled off her, and the two of them sat in near-synchronicity. Backs straight. Shoulders squared. Postures begging Henry to look and not find them wanting as he ran through their safeword ritual. Paradox, how the simple exchange persuaded waves of calm and excitement to coexist. Calming nerves, exciting arousal. Their nights created the safest, most thrilling space in her life.

“Alice, do you recall the night you first wore the Velcro cuffs?”

“Of course.” As if she’d forget.

“Seeing how they worked beforehand helped, did it not?” A stern and forbidding master standing over them, he raised a single eyebrow. “Not only for your sense of safety, but for your curiosity—your desire to understand the how and why of the physical mechanism.”

“Yes, Henry.” Restraints on the menu? Rolling her wrist against the couch cushion, she replayed the sense memory of soft interior padding and the frisson of excitement from the exterior scratching the sheets.

Beside her, his posture stiff, Jay rubbed his pinky and ring fingers against his pant leg. His confidence needed rebuilding, and restraints could trigger a setback. His reaction—

Henry cleared his throat.

His time. He’d take Jay’s needs into account without her overanalyzing.

“It’s less distracting when you comprehend the purpose and the mechanics, isn’t that right? Less time spent categorizing the how and more spent enjoying the act.”

True. She loved him for shutting off her mind, suspending her in a moment without making her anxious or somehow lesser for needing the freedom he provided.

He pierced her with his sincere green gaze. “I’ve been deficient in my approach to anal sex with you, Alice, and for that I apologize.”

Wrong. Beyond patient, he’d waited months for her to request more than the barest touch. And then he’d been tender and understanding of her failure.

“I’ve focused on encouraging your curiosity, engaging your adventurous and competitive desires. But your difficulty last week showed me my error.”

Henry, make a mistake. She scoffed in silence. A dominant partner who apologized and admitted his errors without hesitation had to be uncommon if not rare. Logic insisted others enjoyed similar relationships, but emotion declared only Henry—and emotion beat in time with her heart.

These moments quelled her doubts and wondering over how the hell she’d ended up granting a man so much control. He never assumed his every action was correct because he’d been the one to do it. Following his own ethical code, he listened to her and to Jay, and he made things right when he believed he’d missed a step.

“I haven’t let you see enough.” Lifting her hands, he delivered a comforting squeeze. “Your observable data is limited to a single successful example, one in which your role was minimal.”

Valentine’s Day. Until then, her window on her lovers’ relationship had offered a view confined to how she fit into it. And in the month since the club disaster, since she’d moved in, Henry had restricted his games with Jay to hands and mouths. No intercourse.

Of course. He’d orchestrated distance for Jay. Granting him time to expel the pain and anger at the source, in the room where he’d been assaulted, had opened him to greater acceptance of himself and Henry’s love.

“We’ll correct the oversight tonight. For that, we’ll need an experienced volunteer to demonstrate.” With one incremental turn she hastily copied, he put a sunny smile on Jay’s face. “You’ll receive the lion’s share of attention tonight, my boy.” Henry all but purred his promise. “Do you feel up to the challenge?”

“Yes, Henry. Thank you.” Control lay beyond Jay, his voice vibrating as he bobbed his agreement. “I’ll be a good boy for you and Alice.”

For her. Not merely for Henry. Jay wanted her approval, to be her beloved pet and sit at her feet as he’d done after tea. His easy acceptance allowed their roles to shift fluidly. Henry held absolute control, but her power, and Jay’s, depended on intuition. In sensing each other’s needs, they stepped forward or fell back to maintain harmonic balance.

“I’m certain you will. No intestinal issues that might interfere with playtime?” Even-toned, Henry made the question routine. Only he could turn
you won’t shit the bed, will you?
into a loving, tender inquiry.

One she worried about. Unlikely, but not impossible—and God, what a humiliating nightmare. The possibility clenched her ass shut.

Smirking, Jay shook his head. “Clean as a whistle. No fullness, no discomfort, and you know I showered when I got home, so no bike sweat, either.”

She’d have to learn his lack of embarrassment if she intended to be as open and naturally submissive. Nothing Henry asked meant to humiliate them, only to benefit them. And they’d given him a perfect right to the answers.

“Come along to the bedroom, then, my dears.” He pulled her to her feet as Jay bounced to his. “We have a full agenda.”

* * * *

A vast expanse of emptiness, the bed lay bare down to the fitted sheet. The velvet wall bench stood near the foot, pressed into service as a sideboard. The appetizers—toys small and large, metal and glass, in shapes way more complex than her all-but-retired bullet vibe—sure as hell looked filling. A half-dozen, lined up to Henry’s exacting standards, shared space with condoms, lube, and the assorted contents of his nightstand.

“Did you set this up like a lab space to”—mmm, Henry’d stripped Jay while she’d taken inventory—“make me more comfortable?”

“Certainly.” He patted Jay’s ass. “Up on the bed.”

Jay scrambled up, all long limbs and tanned skin. One sexy fucking addition to her design kit. With his sweet smile and toned muscles, he’d distract her from her what-the-hell-am-I-doing nerves.

“Anything worth doing is worth doing properly, is it not? Your education is worth doing.” Strong and unyielding, Henry uncovered her inch by inch. “And our delightful demonstration model—”

Sprawled on his side, Jay waved in a quasi-salute.

“—is worth more than simply doing.”

“Worth loving.” Naked, she stood in the circle of Henry’s arms.

“That he is.” He blessed her lips with a kiss. “Go and join him, please. We’ll want him on his back for your first lesson.” With her hands clasped between his, he kissed the tips. “Map your model.”

Wriggly and glowing, Jay rubbed the sheets. “Yeah, come check me out. I’m mappable.”

She crawled up the bed and nudged him onto his back. Kneeling over him on all fours, she traced the peaceful, rounded slopes of his shoulders and masculine, blunt-cornered planes of his chest.

Heat bumped her thigh. In lifting his hips—ah, at some silent request from Henry, who slipped a towel beneath—he rubbed his cock against her. Bare skin flashed in the gap between them. Nude Henry.

She feathered Jay with kisses from his forehead to his jaw. “Thank you, sweetheart.” Submitting to her fumbling went above and beyond. “I’ll do my best to learn fast.”

Lips clamped, he muffled a chortle.

“What’s—”

Henry swept in around her waist and reeled her backward. “You’ll do your best to learn
slow
.”

She bounced on her ass, in an awkward pile in his lap. Christ, her heart drummed through her chest. With one playful, commanding, unexpected move, Henry had her begging for him.

“You and Jay are familiar enough with fast.” Chuckling, he nestled her between his thighs. “So eager to explore new places.” His cock needled her back as he settled her how he wanted her. “To conquer new challenges.”

He tapped Jay’s knees, and their lover bent his legs. Pushing inward, Henry took her along for the ride. “You’ve a lovely mind for mechanics, Alice.”

They formed a narrow V, legs outstretched, with Jay snuggling his feet under their calves. Reinforced cross braces, they’d cushion his squirming, god-that’s-fucking-fantastic tension.

“Let’s put it to use.” Henry massaged her fingers from base to tip. “We’ll begin with these.”

Toes curling, Jay wiggled his hips.

From the bench behind them, Henry produced the lube bottle, a condom, and cotton balls. The cotton went inside the unrolled condom. If this lesson included an art project, the grading had better be pass/fail. Folding her fingers, Henry left only the middle extended and promptly sheathed her in latex.

What the hell? Condoms as a birth control backup, sure, hopefully not for much longer, but not for this, not when Henry didn’t. Jay might believe she didn’t want to touch him.

“I’m not squeamish.” She deserved to be an equal, dammit. She shared the same intimate connection with Jay. “I want—”

“It’s not about what you want, Alice.” Holding her motionless, Henry deepened his voice to a professorial growl. “You’ll obey me, or you won’t play this game.” The lube bottle hung suspended in his other hand, ready to coat her jury-rigged raincoat. “Choose.”

The fire in her blood cooled. No rushing. No forcing. Not a competition. When Henry slapped a dominant card on the table, his reasons never involved denying her or Jay intimacy or bonding. Swallowing her objections, she flexed her finger. “I’ll obey, Henry.”

“Good girl.” He nuzzled her cheek. “Thank you.”

Despite Henry’s care, stray drops fell to the towel and his fingers grew shiny as he slicked lube over her condom and Jay’s curves. When he guided her between Jay’s cheeks, she alone stayed dry and disconnected.

Shivering, Jay wriggled farther under her calves.

Henry brushed her face with his knuckles. “Play.” With faint grazes and slow circles, he made her breath stutter. “Like this.”

Slipping and skipping, the condom gave her no feedback from Jay. Her clumsy hand blocked her view. Jesus Christ, she didn’t come close to copying Henry’s fluttering. She’d never shift Jay’s encouraging smile into overwhelming pleasure.

Henry, drawing his knuckles up her cheekbone and teasing her ear, managed to give her tingling joy with no trouble. “How do you feel?”

“Like I’m inching down icy back-roads during a blizzard in a rear-wheel drive coupe.” Fuck. She owed Jay a massive apology. Henry might as well banish her from the damned bedroom.

Thundering like an avalanche, Jay unleashed a torrent of chuckles. “Sorry,” he gasped between fits, clutching his stomach. “Sorry, Henry.” He snorted. “I’ve always wanted to shoot snowflakes.”