Finding Valor (21 page)

Josh couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t speak, or think, or move, or even swallow. His chest burned with the effort of keeping his heart-bond inside, but the thought of what would happen to Channie if she sensed it and tried to run to him gave him the strength he needed to hold on.
 

She was even more beautiful in person. A breeze tugged at her waist-length, pale blonde hair, lifting it off her shoulders. She shaded her eyes with a delicate hand. “Hunter?”

He stepped out of the shadows and waved. “I got a surprise for ya but you gotta promise to stay on the porch.”

“What’s my surprise? Did you bring me something to eat? I’m getting awful tired of eggs.”

“Nope, sorry, it ain’t food.” Shep gave Josh a gentle push.
 

He stumbled forward, into the sunlight.

Channie gasped then reached for him with one hand as she clung to the support beam with the other. “Josh!”

Shep gave him another push. "She's not known for patience. If she leaves the porch, it'll kill her."

Josh took one step then another as tears streamed down Channie’s face. He bounded up the steps, but froze when he reached the porch. He swallowed hard then tried to lick his lips with a completely dry tongue. “Hey.”

Channie flung herself into his arms and buried her tear-stained face against the base of his throat.

Flashbacks overwhelmed Josh as he breathed in her clean, lavender scent.
Channie balances an ancient book on his knee. He breathes in a tantalizing aroma of citrus, flowers and herbs. It’s coming from the book. “It smells really good.” Channie smiles at him. “It smells like us.”
 

The flashback ended. Josh blinked his eyes open. He remembered everything. And he still smelled the book. Was he hallucinating? He sucked in another breath. The lemon and woodsy aromas faded, but the flowers and herbs remained constant. Was Channie wearing perfume? No. It was her. Just her. “You smell good.”

Channie’s body shook against his as she fisted her hands in his shirt. She inhaled deeply.

Josh cringed. He’d just hiked through the woods after spending eighteen hours in a car. He clamped his arms against his sides, hoping like hell his deodorant was still working.

Channie moved her hands to his chest and shoved.

Josh’s cheeks burned. He didn’t blame her, but her reaction more than embarrassed him. It wounded him. He shrugged. “I’m sorry. I should have used a cleansing spell, but I—”

“I gave up
everything
to protect you.” She shoved him again. “Go home, Josh.”

Pain and humiliation shifted to anger. “I may not remember how it went down, but I know that wiping my memory was not my idea. And I never would have agreed to let you bind yourself to your mother with a death curse. I’m not going anywhere without you.”

“If you know about the death pledge then you know I can’t leave.”

Josh turned and gripped the pine log railing in front of him. The rough bark bit into his palms. He studied Channie out of the corners of his eyes. “Hunter said the only way to free you from the curse is to kill your mother before she kills you.”

Channie swiped her cheeks with her fingertips and sniffed. “He’s right.”

“Are you okay with that?” Josh was afraid that Channie would never forgive him if he killed her mother.

She swiped at her cheeks again, but tears continued to pour from her eyes faster than she could wipe them away. “I’m not
okay
with any of this! I didn’t want you to lose your memory. I didn’t want to leave with Momma. And I sure as hell didn’t want to bind myself to her with a death pledge. But I didn’t see any other way to save your life.”

“What about your life?” Josh shifted his weight. The creak of rotten wood beneath his feet reminded him to tread carefully. “Hunter said your mother isn’t going to wait until winter solstice.”

Channie sucked in a noisy breath then exhaled slowly. Her body seemed to shrink in on itself, like a balloon with a slow leak. “She believes summer solstice will work.”

“And you expect me to just walk away? To go home and live my life as if we’d never met, knowing each time the sun sets you’re one day closer to death?”

“I expect you to protect yourself so you can live long enough to defeat Dominance. There’s more at stake here than just us. You need to focus on what’s important. You need to prepare for the biggest challenge of your life.”

“Cutting out my heart and stomping on it isn’t helping.”
 

Channie gasped.

Josh cringed. He hadn’t meant to remind Channie of the gruesome way her mother planned to kill her. “That was just an expression…”

“I know. I don’t want to fight with you.”

Josh laughed, but it was prompted by the absurdity of the situation; not humor. “This isn’t how I imagined our reunion.”

Channie barreled into him and wrapped her arms around his waist. Her sobs broke his heart.

Acting on instinct, he bowed his head and kissed the top of hers. “Shh…babe. Don’t cry.”

Channie pulled back and gazed up at him. Her tears enhanced the gem-like sparkle of her emerald eyes. “You called me ‘babe.’”

He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Is that okay?”

She sucked her lower lip into her mouth and nodded. “You used to call me that all the time.”

Josh’s gaze locked onto her full, moist lips. He’d never wanted to taste anything so badly in his entire life. “I remember.”

“You do?” Her hopeful expression stabbed him with guilt. “What else do you remember?”

Josh would have given anything to have been able to tell her what she so desperately wanted to hear. “Can we go sit down somewhere, so we can talk?”

“I shouldn’t let you stay.” She bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut.

Josh could see the internal struggle play out on her face.

She opened her eyes and searched his then leaned around him and called out to Hunter. “We’re going inside for a little bit. Could you keep an eye out for Momma?”

“That’s the plan.” Hunter pushed off from the tree he’d been leaning against. “Take your time. I’ll keep watch while y’all get reacquainted.”
 

Channie tugged on Josh’s hand, leading him inside her rustic, but clean, cabin. The first thing he noticed was the hum of energy in the air. Magically enhanced potted plants hung from the rafters and occupied every corner, but there was very little furniture. Nothing but an old plank bench under the window next to the front door and an obviously homemade table and chairs next to an old-fashioned, cast-iron stove. The kitchen looked like something out of an old Clint Eastwood movie. The hand pump bolted to the counter next to the sink meant no running water and the soot-coated lanterns meant no electricity. Josh found it hard to believe that people still lived like that.
 

Channie didn’t even glance at the chairs in the kitchen. She let go of Josh’s hand and climbed a ladder into an open loft.

He felt weightless as he followed her. The first thing he saw when his head cleared the top rung, was Channie’s bare feet hanging over the edge of a rustic pine bed.
 

Her gaze travelled the length of his body as he climbed into the loft. She patted the space next to her.
 

Tendrils of gold light floated out from both their chests as a purple mist surrounded them. Love and lust. Josh’s face burned. This was it. He was going to lose his virginity…
again
.

But, Channie’d asked him point blank if he remembered her and instead of answering, he’d dodged the question. She deserved to know the truth before this went any further. “Channie, I don’t remember much…about us.”

She bit her lip then closed her eyes and nodded. “Hunter told me.”

“What did he say?”

“He said that you didn’t remember me, but that you still loved me.” Channie cupped the side of his face with her palm and stroked his cheekbone with her thumb.

Josh’s chest glowed brighter, but instead of the pain that usually accompanied it, all he felt was desire. Another whole-body tremor shook his frame. If the mere touch of her hand on his face had the ability to turn his bones to water, steal his breath and render him speechless, what would happen when they actually had sex? Spontaneous combustion? He wanted to touch her, too, but his hands were shaking. “I remember bits and pieces. I remember kissing you by the side of the road and what you gave up to break the curse.”

Channie’s lips parted as a tiny gasp escaped her mouth. She let go of his face and pressed both hands over her heart. Beams of gold light flickered between her fingers. “You shared that memory with me three days ago, through our bond.”
 

Josh smiled as he remembered. “It was the most amazing thing. I was at the Lucky Pie having dinner with Mom and Elijah and thinking about you…and that kiss.”
 

His gazed dropped to her mouth. He wanted to kiss her so badly it hurt. Who was he kidding? He wanted to do a lot more than just kiss her. The proof of that was growing more uncomfortable by the second. He stood up and walked to the window, surreptitiously adjusting himself. He picked at a piece of splintered wood on the windowsill.
 

“I was thinking about how scared you must be and wishing that I could reassure you…that I could let you know how much…” Josh ducked his chin, but his entire head, including the back of his neck, was on fire. There was no way to hide the fact that he was blushing like a girl. He wished he weren’t so insecure. Magic warmed his gut, but refused to alleviate his anxiety.
Channie’s my wife. She already knows how I feel.
Just spit it out already!

Josh lifted his gaze to the window and studied Channie’s reflection in the warped glass. It was easy to read the hope, as well as the trepidation, in her expression. He took a shuddering breath and whispered, “I wanted you to know…how much I love you.”

She joined him at the window then put a hand on his shoulder and gently turned him around. She wove her fingers through his hair and pulled him closer until her forehead pressed against his. “I love you, too.”

With his face angled towards her chest, it was impossible not to stare down her blouse. The soft curves of her breasts rose and fell with each breath. Josh slammed his eyes shut and tried to distract himself by continuing the story. “Anyway…while I was thinking about you, this bolt of gold light shot out of my chest. It’d been glowing and pulsing ever since I woke up, but this time was different. It was so intense it nearly knocked me out.”

Channie slid her soft cheek against his.
 

Josh’s eyes flew open and once again his gaze locked onto the swell of her breasts. They were married. There was nothing wrong with enjoying the sight of his wife’s body…so why did he feel like a such a perv?
 

Her hot breath tickled his ear. “Kiss me.”

The memory of their very first kiss in Heritage Park slipped past the barrier in his mind. He hadn’t even known her name but the desire to kiss her had overwhelmed him. He hadn’t been able to control himself then, and he didn’t want to now.

A growl-like groan vibrated deep inside his chest. Josh dug his fingers into Channie’s hips and yanked her body against his. He froze just before crushing his lips to hers. His whole body flushed with shame as he remembered the way he’d attacked her mouth like a wild animal. He could blame that first, wild kiss on magic. She’d used a spell to make him kiss her. But there was no excuse for his current behavior. He loosened his grip and stepped back. “I’m sorry.”

Her eyes glistened as a pink glow spread across her face. She ducked her head, hiding behind the curtain of her hair. “You must think I’m a brazen hussie.”

“What?” Josh blinked and shook his head.
Brazen hussie?
“No. Of course not. You remember me…us.” He sighed. “I’m so afraid I’m going to screw this up.”

“That’s impossible.”
 

“I had a flashback of our first kiss.”

“You already told me. Don’t you remember?” The skin between her eyebrows puckered, creating twin creases. “We just talked about it.”
 

“No, not that one…our
very
first kiss…the one in Heritage Park.”

“Oh.”

Josh rubbed the back of his neck. “You didn’t like the way I kissed you then.”

“That’s not true.” Channie peeked at him from behind lowered lashes. “I enjoyed the kiss. Until the chastity curse ruined it.”

“I thought you’d hit me with a taser.” Josh smiled.

Channie covered her face with her hands. “I was so embarrassed.”

“You were? I was afraid you were going to report me to the cops or something. I was so ashamed for coming on to you like that. And then I just ran away. I should have at least tried to apologize.”

“It wasn’t your fault.” Channie lowered her hands from her face, revealing a crimson blush. “I used a come-hither spell on you.”

“According to Hunter, magic can’t make you do something you don’t want to do. There’s no excuse for the way I tried to eat your face. I wish I could take it back. I wish our first kiss could’ve been like the one in Oklahoma…when we broke the curse.”

“That was a good kiss.” The corners of her full lips parted in a shy smile. “And we’re sort of starting over.”

Josh’s heart beat so hard, he felt it in his throat.
 

Channie’s eyelids fluttered closed as she lifted her chin.

He cupped her cheeks in his palms and sighed at the feel of her smooth, soft skin. He slid his trembling fingers into her hair and tilted her head to the side. He couldn’t believe this beautiful creature wanted him to kiss her. Blood roared behind his ears as he leaned in and brushed his lips across hers. Once, twice, then lingering on the third pass. Even with his eyes closed, he could still see the golden glow pulsing all around them, through them, flowing in and out of their bodies, mixing their energy, strengthening their bond.

He relived the memory of their epic kiss as their hands, lips and hearts recreated it in the moment. It was even more amazing than he remembered.

This flashback didn’t give him any extra energy. Or maybe it had and the real-life kiss consumed it and then some. It left him weak-kneed and dizzy. He pressed his lower back against the wall to keep from sinking to the floor.