Finding Willow (Hers) (17 page)

I will myself back to sleep, and don't wake again until I feel him move under me and I realize someone’s phone is vibrating within the room.

It's Not Goodbye

“I'm good,” he says into the phone. His words are clipped. He’s to the point in whatever cryptic conversion he’s having with the stranger on the other end of the line. I don't pry or listen in. It’s not my business, and I always hate when nosy fuckers butt into my shit.

I climb out from under the covers, still naked from the night before, and make my way to the bathroom. I kick on the shower, waiting for it to warm up while he does whatever he needs to do.

Minutes later, the water is finally warm enough to jump in for a quick shower. The hot water runs down my body and feels fucking wonderful. I’ve always thought the hotter the better when it comes to a good shower. Growing up, I rarely got a hot shower, so now I take advantage of it as much as I possibly can. Call me selfish, I don't care.

I hear the door crack open, and I wait for my goodbye. What I don't expect on the other side of the curtain is a tall, naked man ready to join me in the mini sauna I have created.

“Mind if I join you, babe?”
What am I supposed to say to that? No?

“Of course not. I could use someone to wash my back,” I tease as I flirt with him. He steps inside the tub and his sheer size makes the entire bathroom feel really fucking small. I’m sure he has this effect most places he goes. I want to laugh, but I don't when I feel his hands start to caress my shoulders. His big hands massage over my warm, red skin. He steps under the spray of the water and jumps.

“Holy fuck, that is hot! What the hell?” I guess I’m going to be forced to turn the heat down just a little bit. “I didn't even know the old pipes in this building could churn out water that hot!”

His comment spurs my interest.

“Why would you be worried about the pipes of the motel?”

He shrugs.

“My parents bought it right before they died. Left it to me, River, and our other brother, Zane, who seems to be missing in action these days.” Another brother, huh?

“Enough about all that. I just want to enjoy the last little bit of time I have with my girl.”

“Your girl, huh?” I laugh and squirt some shampoo into my hands. I lather it through my short hair but his fingers take over.

He lowers his mouth down to my ear before he answers me.

“Of course you are my girl now, Star. You can't get rid of me that easily.” I turn toward him. The water washes the suds out of my hair as his lips crash down on mine. The kiss is full of possession. He is marking his territory. I am his, and only his. I don't mind it at all.

My lips match his hunger, and my hands slip and slide all over his soaking wet body. He sucks the flesh of my neck in between his lips, roughly marking me for the world to see in his absence. This turns me on like nothing ever has before. The cave man in him rears its ugly head, and I am a goner. I want possessive Chrome more than anything.

He lifts my body and I wrap my legs around his slippery body. Just as I feel the tip of his dick pressing against my cunt, I stop him.

“Fuck. You need a condom. Hurry up.”

I slide down his body as he places me on my feet in the tub. He’s back in a flash, condom already sheathed around his big dick and ready to pound into my cunt.

He steps into the tub and we’re back in the same position in seconds. His body presses me up against the wall, as his hand guides his dick right inside me. With one hard thrust he is deep within my aching pussy. I missed the feeling of having him inside me. I could never get tired of his piercing rubbing all the right places inside me. My mouth finds his and my lips part letting his tongue explore the inside of my mouth. He moans and I can't help but moan right back as he pumps in and out of me. It feels so damn good.

His hand slides up my stomach, across my tits, and stops once it is firmly wrapped around my throat. A little pain with my pleasure, and I am instantly in fucking heaven. Chrome continues fucking me like a madman as his grip around my throat tightens. The lightheaded feeling slowly creeps up on me. It’s been so long since someone pushed this hot button of mine, and I can't do anything but enjoy the moment as my body climbs to orgasm.

“Oh fuck, you are so good. You like that, Star? You like how I fuck you? Like you are mine to keep?”

I can't hold back anymore. I try, but once those words leave Chrome’s mouth, I’m done for. His grip tightens around my neck ever so slightly more. I gasp for air as the most intense orgasm I’ve had in years floods through my body. My nails dig into his muscular back, drawing blood while I cry out his name over and over again.

“Fuck, Chrome! Fuck! I love your hands around my neck. Oh, baby,” I cheer him on, relishing the pleasure. No one has ever choked me outside of filming and it feels so fucking amazing. I know I’m a freak, but I am glad Chrome is the one bringing the freak out of me.

“That's my girl,” he says as his pace quickens. My back slams against the wall again, and he presses deep inside me until his dick has no place else to go. His body quakes, and I feel him finding his own release. It’s moments like this that I hate condoms. I would do just about anything to feel him flooding my cunt. Marking his territory before he hits the road. Knowing I am completely his for the taking. I can only hope that he’s mine.

His grip on me loosens and he gently brings me to my feet in the tub. We stare at each other for a few minutes before I return to my washing routine. He disposes of the condom and begins his own washing. We finish the shower in silence, despite my need to ask questions. Like where is he going? What is he going to be doing while he’s on the road? I’m pretty sure I don't want the answers. But I am curious.

“I don't want you to leave. I was just getting used to having you around,” I admit as we eat breakfast at Maggie's. I feel like, for once in my life, I can actually be open and honest with a man. I feel safe with him.

“I don't wanna go, either. I got my trip cut down to Wednesday, but that is still too fucking long.” He tosses a piece of bacon into his mouth.

“What are you going to be doing? What is it you
do
exactly?” Curiosity killed the cat. One of these days, my need to learn new shit really is going to catch up with me in a fucking bad way. His face becomes dark and guarded. The carefree man who spent the morning with me is slowly fading, and I could kick myself in the ass for pushing him away.

He places his fork down on the plate, picks up his cup of coffee, and takes a long sip.

“Star, there are some things I just don't want you to know. It isn't because I don't care about you. Because I really do. More than I probably should. But the life I live is dangerous. I don't want you to get involved in the wrong way. I don't want you to look at me differently.”

I want to laugh. Dangerous? Look at him differently? He’s talking to the fucking deep throat queen of the world.

“I can respect that you don't want me to know. But just know I’m not going to look at you much differently. I have been into some bad shit over the years myself. You can't really say or do much to shock me.”

I take a bite of my feta cheese omelet and wash it down with a gulp of apple juice. Which is pretty damn refreshing. I love this shit.

“What’s your real name?” His question confuses me, and I give in to his unexpected round of twenty questions.

“Starburst Bloom. You?”

He looks dumbfounded. Is he really surprised my name is actually Star? Did he think it was my nickname, or porn name? I mean, seriously, most porn stars need a porn star name; I just got lucky enough to be born and raised with one. No need for the alter ego.

“Promise you won't laugh at me?” He’s self-conscious and it is fucking cute. He doesn't want to tell me because he’s embarrassed that his parents saddled him with a shitty name, just like mine did.

“My fucking name is Starburst, like a fucking candy or a cosmic occurrence. Do you really think I am going to laugh at you?” I laugh at myself. At the situation. It feels good to genuinely feel this good.

“Atticus Holden Grant.” He doesn't make eye contact with me. He pushes some food around on his plate, then takes a bite, sneaking a peek through his dark eyelashes. I want to laugh at him because he’s acting like a kid, not because of his name.

“That's hot.” As much as it sounds like a snob name, it actually fits his level of sexy. “And stop acting like a kid.” I laugh across the table and pick up the last bit of toast on my plate, popping it into my mouth.

“What can I do to get you to stay in Woodstock?” he asks.

“I don't think there is anything you can really do. Just let me figure things out. I may stay, but if I do, I am going to do it on my own terms.” I don't want to stay here because of a guy. I want to stay in Woodstock because I can make the life I need here. I want to stay because there is a reason to keep me hanging around. It is beautiful and quiet. It is the life I need while I continue my journey into recovery. Put the bad memories behind me, and work on making good ones.

“We should leave. I want to spend some time with Scarlett before I head out. She always gets emotional when I hit the road for a couple days.” It hurts him to leave her behind. I can see it all over his face. I don't blame him, because I know the hurt of leaving a child behind. Except my pain is deeper than a couple days.

“If River needs any help while you’re gone, tell him he knows where to find me.” I would love to spend more time painting with Scarlett when she isn't in school. She really is a bright little girl. So childlike and full of life. It makes me crave the same lack of responsibilities.

“Why don't you come over to the motel?” I ask Journey. We’ve been trying to make plans together since I rolled into town days ago, but shit just keeps getting in the way. Chrome left late last night. He stopped in for a quick breakfast before he hit the road. It was absolutely adorable. I wanted him to fuck me senseless against the wall, or in the shower again, but he just didn't have time.

“What do you wanna do?” Journey asks. I’m not sure if she is going to be up for my adventure of the day, but I am sure going to give it a try. I don't really want to do it on my own anyway.

“I was going to go look at a couple places for sale.” Yes, houses for sale. In Woodstock. Even if I don't decide to stay, it will be nice to own a little piece of quiet property in the Catskills. The houses here have a certain rustic beauty about them. I know it sounds incredibly fucking stupid, and borderline cliché, but seriously, I want one. I want a place I can call my own.

“You are going to buy a house here?”

“I didn't say that. I just want to go look. Come on, get your ass over here so we can head out. There is no way in hell I am coming over to that fucking house to pick you up.” Yes, a damn house. My parents finally got their shit together and live in a home without wheels! Miracle of miracles! I don't know what sparked the decision, but my sister certainly appreciates it. I think that is why she continues to stay with them. There is finally a small level of stability.

“I'll see you in a few.” She disconnects the call, and I continue looking at the one house for sale that I truly want. It was my dream house as a little girl. I could picture a perfect Normal Rockwell Christmas scene playing out through the spacious glass windows that overlook the stream running through the backyard. I could see the deer grazing along the long driveway. It was a house that remained empty most of the time I was growing up. People would rent it as a vacation home, stay for a week or a month, and move on.