Finding YOU Finding ME (You & Me Trilogy Book 2) (11 page)

“Of
course, Sam. That was the plan when I bought this building.” His beautiful blue
eyes burned into mine. “I wanted everything perfect for you. I want to take
care of you, make sure you have everything.” He inhaled a deep breath. “I don’t
want you to feel any anxiety or fear. I want your first time with me perfect.”

“Collins…”
He was so sweet and thoughtful, and I’ve never felt so much care and love from
anyone before. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do it last time. I rushed home…to find
you. I was worried about you especially the way after we left off last night…”

Collins’
eyes widened with surprised. “You’re worried about that?”

I
searched his face, looking for any signs of Daggers, but it seemed Collins
spending an hour or two with Gail in therapy earlier today had him back on his
feet again.

“Well,
we couldn’t get to your Next Step, and…”

“Baby,”
Collins said, kissing me, “I’ll wait. I’ll wait for when you’re ready. I don’t
want to pressure you. If you don’t want to have anything to do with it, I won’t
push you. We have all the time in the world.”

“But…”
I slid down his body, and led him into the Production Room. “Look, Collins. I
can do this. I can walk right on in and not feel nervous or scared.”

“You’re
not even the slightest bit uncomfortable here?” Collins asked, his icy blue
eyes assessing me with concern. “Last time you were here, you almost bolted out
the apartment. You had me so worried that I offended you that much.”

“I
didn’t know what this was all about,” I said. “I pictured something else
entirely, but it’s not so bad. This is all new to me, Collins. I’ve never seen
or experience this kind of set up before, so it took me by surprise. That’s all
it was, Collins. I was surprised.”

Suddenly
Collins’ eyes gleamed with excitement as he took my hand and led me to the bed.
“I want to show you everything in here, let you experience everything in here,
Sam,” he said excitedly like a kid who couldn’t wait to show off his new toys. 

“This
bed, it’s a replica of a bed once used by Casanova and his lover Henrietta,
whom he described as the perfect woman. Out of God knows how many women
Casanova had sex with, Henrietta was his best and greatest love.” Collins’
voice dropped as he said, “I thought of you when I had this bed commissioned while
I was in Europe.”

“Collins,
this is magnificent,” I said, admiring the craftsmanship of the carvings.

“It’s
ancient, but modern at the same time,” Collins said. He gave me a mysterious
smirk and I couldn’t help smiling back at his youthful enthusiasm.

“Look
at the panels built into this bed,” he pointed out a hidden panel in the bed
with buttons. “This one dims the light. This one brings out music, and this one
tilts the bed at different angles.”

My
goodness, this was something I didn’t expect. But it wasn’t outrageous to the
point I felt uncomfortable. My mind began imagining different uses for all of
these buttons, and when I made eye contact with Collins, I could tell he was
thinking the same thing.

“Let’s
forget the tour and I’ll just demonstrate the bed’s uses instead?” Collins
whispered into my ears.

“But
there’s still so much to see,” I joked, wanting just as much to jump into bed
with Collins. “Show me the Control Room and how that leads to my bedroom. I
want to see how that works.”

Collins
pretended to acted disappointed, but the gleam in his eyes were evident, as he
was eager for me to see the rest of the Production Room’s design.

“Come
with me, then, up these stairs to the back of the room.”

We
walked to the back where there was a black door hidden along the black wall. He
opened it, and we walked into a modern day Control Room, like the kind you see
in a studio. There were monitors, buttons, recording and taping machines, sound
decks, tapes. Even a small refrigerator. He opened another door, a half door,
the size of an attic door, and showed me where it led. It opened up into my
bedroom’s closet, where the designer gowns Collins had given me for graduation
were hanging. So that’s how Collins was able to get from one end of the house
to another so quickly.

“Wow,”
I said for lack of a better word. “You’ve impressed me with this design,
Collins. All this for this room. Why?”

“It’s
all for you, Baby,” Collins said. “Who knows when the mood will hit, and we
want access to this room quick, and Barbara is busy tidying up our bedroom?” He
almost winked. “Besides, I’m in the entertainment industry, Sam. I own multiple
companies in all aspects of entertainment. Don’t you think I’ll like to have
the best of them in here, in the home I share with my girlfriend?”

I
noticed the tapes that I had watched of Collins, on the table in piles. They
were the ones I had personally watched, the ones he gave me the key to the
deposit box for…his most private moments.

“Are
you…” I asked, indicating his tapes.

“Watching
them?” he asked. “Yes, and I’m digitalizing them so I can destroy these.”

“Oh,
for a moment there, I thought you said you were going to destroy them.”

“I
was, because they’re of my past,” Collins said. “But, I don’t need to be
watching that. I need to move on with my present and future.”

“You’re
keeping them still?” I asked, thinking about what I’ve seen on them. If any of
that ever leaked out…

Collins
smiled wickedly. “Don’t worry, when I made those videos, I made sure no one can
see the other participant. They can only see me. I’ll be the one who gets all
the blame if any tapes ever get into the wrong hands.”

Collins
saw the worry in my face, and came up to me to cup my face in his hands. “Those
women in those tapes…they’re my past. I don’t keep and watch those tapes for
that. You’re my here and now, Sam. I want to create a new feature just for us,
about us.”

He
pressed a few buttons on the control panel, and the bed rotated to the center,
the lights dimmed, and soft pulsing music played with a sultry woman’s voice singing
about love. I can see the monitors in the room power up, and the bed clearly in
focus. Collins had trained three cameras to the bed, from different angles. One
from the front, the other from the side, and one from the top, which gave the
most amazing view.

Despite
my original trepidation of being taped while having sex with Collins, I was
fascinated. Intrigued. It wasn’t any ordinary homemade movie, sex tape,
whatsoever. Whatever it was, with Collins’ touch and taste, it would be
beautiful.

Don’t
you even think of doing it.
My brain warned.

But
my body was saying,
What are you afraid of? Why are you always living in
fear?
This is Collins, the man you love. It isn’t with a stranger, it’s
with Collins/Daggers…who you want to help. Remember, he needs you to help him
get through abusive women. He needs you to prove to him he can have a
satisfying relationship, especially a sexual one with a woman who can love him.

“Collins,”
I was overcome with emotions. He did all this for me. I rested my hands on his
bare chest, while I tiptoe up to kiss his soft warm lips. As soon as our lips
touched, we were on fire.

Chapter
14

           
C
ollins lifted me up and sat me down on the
control room table so that my legs straddled his waist, as he deepened our kiss
with his tongue. My hands ran up and down his chiseled chest, his rippling abs,
and tight butt. The Casanova bed was magnificent, but I’d rather be on top of
Collins than the bed anyday.

            Being
in this room made me bold, reckless, and brought out a different side to me.

            Collins
could sense it. “Do you want to try where we left off last time?”

            I
nodded, unable to take my hands off of Collins, pressing closer to him. “I want
to get closer to you Collins. You let me in to see a tiny bit of your world
when you talked to me as Daggers, and I didn’t know what to expect at first,
but now…I think I can do this. I’ll try, as long as I don’t get hurt.”

            Collins
kissed me tenderly. “I would never hurt you, Sam. That’s the furthest thing I
want. All I want from this room is to be able to bring you the most pleasurable
loving experience you’ve ever had, to love you, to satisfy you, to take away
all the pain you’ve ever felt and just focus on me loving you the best I can.”

            “But
what if I want to be spanked? What if I enjoy it so much that I’m asking for
you to hurt me?”

            “You
control it,” Collins said. “I’m only here to please you, Sam. That’s what I
desire to do.”

            “Why?”
I asked, the idea foreign to me. The only time someone had tried to be intimate
with me was when Billy tried to rape me. My body shuddered again with the
thought of Billy.

            Billy.
Oh crap. Billy…he’s still out there, and he’s threatened me again after all
these years.

            Collins
gripped my shoulders, “Hey, are you okay?” He pulled me to him and enveloped me
in his large warm arms. “Sam, talk to me, are you alright? What happened?”

            I
pushed all thoughts of Billy out of my head and let the room, the lights, the
music, and Collins’ arms engulf me. No wonder why Collins built a room like
this…this fortress of fuck, and all that. Pure sensation, pure getaway, pure
obsession. Nothing but pleasure.

            I
can get lost in here. Forget all my worries.

            “I’m
fine,” I said, gripping Collins’ shirt and pulling it off. “Nothing I want to
think about.”

            “Then
don’t think, just feel,” Collins said, unbuttoning my pants and pulling it down
with my panties. “Aren’t you glad you didn’t wear a dress?” he asked. “Saved a
panty from being ripped off you just now.”

            “I
didn’t know you were into conservation,” I said, kissing his bottom lip.

            “Very
much so,” Collins said. “I’m into conserving your wardrobe so I have things to
tear off.”

            “You
can always get edible panties,” I smirked, my hands unbuttoning his pants, and
pulling down his zipper.

            “Believe
me, I have some of that already,” he said. “When I knew you were moving out of
your parents’ home to live on your own, I stocked up.”

            “Think
you’ll be that lucky all the time?” I teased, pulling down his pants.

            “What
do you think?” he asked, his eyes smoldering as I take in his magnificent body
from head to toe.

            Not
only was he beyond gorgeous, hot and sexy, smart, and a billionaire; he was the
most confident man I’ve met, wearing no underwear underneath his slacks. “You
weren’t going to dress like that going to your office?” I asked.

            Collins
chuckled. “If you were going to be there, I might, but no, all this, is because
I knew you’d be here.” He smirked. “Do you think I’ll get ‘lucky’ tonight?”

            “We’ll
see…” I said, wanting Collins more than I’ve ever wanted. Wanting him to erase
every thought of Billy from my mind, wanting his love for me to fill me so my
body memorize and associate sex and intimacy as something beautiful and good,
rather than something to be feared.

            Collins
slowly undressed me and lifted me up so he was kissing my breasts. My mind went
blank, immersed in the intense pleasure he was lavishing on them. When he
raised his head to focus his smoldering eyes on mine, he said, “Which bed,
Sam?” I knew he meant which room. My normal bedroom where it seems we would
have plain sex or the Casanova bed in the Production Room?

            I
looked at my bedroom…comfortable, nice, everyday. Nothing like a total
immersion.

           
Like
strong coffee, you need something to help you get over your fear of Billy.
My body and mind converged in agreement.

            “Casanova,”
I whispered, looking into Collins’ surprised, but adoring eyes.

            “Are
you sure?” he asked. “Don’t do this because you think I want it, which I do,
but because you want it, Sam. What you want matters more than what I want, Baby.”

            I
thought about my fear of trying new things. I thought about my fear of breaking
rules. For so many years, Billy had kept me in fear of messing up, of having
any decent romantic relationships. So many years, my father and the people
whose opinions he cared so much about, have kept me in fear of doing things
outside of my comfort zone, doing anything that wouldn’t be acceptable for a
Pastor’s upstanding daughter to do. It kept me from living fully as a person,
from growing up.

            “Yes,”
I said. “I’m sure, with you, Collins. Only you.”

            Collins’
eyes filled with tears. He took my hands and kissed each of my fingers. “You
don’t know how much this means to me, Sam. You can tell me to stop at any time,
and I will, Sam. You can trust me on that.”

            “I
trust you, Collins,” I said. “I love you.”

            Collins
inhaled deeply. “I love you, too, Babycakes.”

            “Babycakes?”
I asked, raising my eyebrows.

            “Yes,”
Collins said. “I’ll take you there one day…my favorite bakery. But for now, I’m
hungry, I need my daily dose of you…” he licked his lips before he crushed me
to his chest, carrying me into the Production Room and placing me on the
Casanova bed. He reached behind me, and I heard a click. “We’ll start with
something small.”

            “Small?”
I laughed. “At this point, Collins, anything you begin with will be a new
experience for me so if it’s small, it’s still something fresh.”

            Collins
lifted my hands with his, leaning into me, above my head, and handcuffed me
with soft sheepskin-lined handcuffs that came down from the bedpost. With my
arms handcuffed above my head, my breasts jutted out freely, right in front of
Collins. His eyes grew dark, as he stared at them. “You are so fucking beautiful,”
he said. He closed his eyes as though he was memorizing in his mind how I
looked naked and handcuffed hanging on his luxurious sexy bed.