For a moment he thought about trying to comfort her, but no words came, and he turned away and blew out the candle on his side of the bed and lay in the dark, not sleeping and filled with a deadening sense of despair.
Chapter 19
The honeymoon was over in less than a week and when the newly married couple returned to Dublin Arthur was riding on top of the carriage with the driver, while Kitty sat alone in the cab. Gerald immediately offered to accommodate his brother and his bride. The following morning Arthur booked passage on a ship leaving for Bristol the same afternoon, and then made arragements for Gerald to escort his wife from Dublin once she had settled her affairs in Ireland. With his travelling chest packed Arthur sent for a cab and made ready to leave. Gerald and Kitty were sitting in the front parlour when Arthur joined them, his coat and gloves already on.
‘My goodness,’ said Gerald. ‘You don’t waste any time!’
‘Alas, I have none to waste,’ Arthur replied briskly. ‘Duty calls me back to London. I have to support Richard in Parliament, and there is a brigade to command. Not only that,’ he turned to Kitty and forced a smile, ‘I have to find a home worthy of my bride.’
Kitty smiled back and it pained him to see how easily she could be pleased. As easily as she could be hurt, he realised. Arthur felt shamed by his duplicity. In truth he was burdened by the dreadful knowledge that he had made the mistake of his life in marrying Kitty. That had become clear enough in the long days of the honeymoon as they travelled in frequent silence, the gulf between them merely becoming even more starkly apparent when they did start to talk. While Arthur had voyaged to India, fought battles, commanded armies and become the ruler of the kingdom of Mysore in all but title, it was as if Kitty had sat on the shelf gathering dust. Conversation was awkward. There was much he wanted to tell her, to discuss. Yet Kitty’s world had been utterly different from his own these eleven years and they struggled to find common ground on many issues. Their talk was stumbling and broken and the silences filled with self-consciousness. The only comfort was that their lovemaking at least had improved as Kitty’s initial apprehension about the act dissolved. Even so, after five days Arthur found her company stifling and was desperate to return to London, where he could busy himself and not dwell on the mistake he had made.
‘When are you going?’ she asked.
‘As soon as the footman finds a cab.’
Kitty’s expression crumpled momentarily, then she swallowed and recovered her composure. ‘I will come to the dock with you.’
‘There’s really no need. It’s cold out and, in any case, the cab won’t afford you much space.’
‘Nevertheless, I wish to come with you and say goodbye.’
Arthur was silent for a moment, and then nodded. ‘Oh, very well, then.’
By the time Kitty had got her coat, bonnet and gloves the cab had arrived.The driver loaded Arthur’s chest on to the rack on the roof and then held the door open. Arthur shook hands with Gerald and hurried down the steps. He turned and saw Kitty standing in the hall adjusting her bonnet, and his foot tapped impatiently as he waited. Having satisfied herself about her appearance, Kitty emerged and exchanged a chaste kiss with Gerald before stepping lightly down the steps and into the street. Arthur handed Kitty up into the cab and quickly climbed in after her, squeezing on to the seat beside his wife. An instant later the cab lurched into motion and turned out of the street and down towards the forest of masts and furled sails of the ships thronging the Liffey.
They did not speak for a while, and then Kitty asked,‘Will you look for a house immediately, Arthur?’
‘Yes, of course.’
‘Good. I could not bear to be apart from you a day longer than necessary.’
‘I know, my dear. It is the same for me. But we must be patient so that I can find something suitable.’
‘I understand. But really, Arthur, there’s no need for me to wait here in Dublin while you hunt for a house. I am sure that I could live with Olivia Sparrow in the meantime. And if I was there in London, I could help you look for a house.’ She glanced at him and smiled weakly. ‘Would that be entertaining?’
Arthur nodded. ‘I imagine so.’
‘Then I will make arrangements with Olivia to join you there as soon as possible.’ Kitty took his hand tentatively and gave it a squeeze. ‘I will be a good wife to you, I swear it.’
‘Of course,’ said Arthur. ‘And I will be a good husband, as far as my duties permit.’
The cab rattled out of a side street and on to the broader thoroughfare that ran alongside the wharves. Moored ships clustered as far as the eye could see and the driver flipped down a small hatch and called through. ‘Which vessel, sir?’
‘The
Ardent
, about two hundred yards further on.’
The hatch clacked shut as the driver slowed his horse and began to look for the names of each vessel as they passed.A short distance further on he drew up and stopped. Opening the door, he indicated a sturdy-looking merchant vessel moored a few paces away.
‘Here you are, sir.’
Arthur climbed out and offered his hand to Kitty as she stepped down on to the cobbles. Her nose wrinkled at the smell: salt, fish and tarred cordage.
‘Wait here,’ Arthur told the driver. ‘The lady will be taken back to my brother’s house shortly.’
‘As you like, sir.’
Arthur summoned a porter to carry his chest aboard and then walked with Kitty to the end of the gangway. ‘Well, here we are, my dear. Now we must say our farewells. Just for the present,’ he added quickly.
Kitty stared at him with wide eyes and her lips trembled as she responded. ‘Can I not stay and see the ship off ?’
‘There’s really no point. She won’t be leaving Dublin for some hours yet. Best if you didn’t, Kitty.You’ll only get cold and might catch a chill. Come, be brave. Give me a kiss and hold me.’
He opened his arms and Kitty stepped into his embrace, pressing her face against his chest so that he would not see her tears, but he could feel her thin frame shudder all the same. At length she drew back slightly, dabbing at her eyes with a lace handkerchief, which she hurriedly stuffed down her sleeve. Arthur cupped her cheek in his hand and tilted her face towards him and kissed her on the lips. It was not a passionate kiss, merely perfunctory, and he drew his head back quickly and smiled.
‘There! Now you must get back into the cab and go, Kitty.’
‘I don’t want to go just yet. Please don’t make me.’
Arthur looked at her in silence. Inside he was struggling to contain a growing sense of irritation. At the same time he did not want to hurt her and the tension between the two impulses only made the situation even more intolerable. He took her hand and guided her gently but firmly back towards the cab, where she climbed in and took her seat with a show of reluctance. Arthur closed the door on her and stepped back.
‘Goodbye, Kitty. I will see you in London, my love.’
‘Goodbye, dear Arthur.’ She raised a hand and waved it weakly.
Before she could speak again Arthur nodded to the driver. ‘Take her straight back to my brother’s house.’
‘Yes, sir.’
At a crack of his whip the horse broke into a trot and the cab began to move away. Kitty’s face appeared at the window and she waved her hand as the cab drew off. Once she was no longer visible Arthur drew a deep breath and puffed his cheeks in relief, but he had the good grace to wait until the cab turned up a street and disappeared, with one last frantic wave from the occupant, before he turned to climb the gangway on to the deck of the
Ardent
. A fresh breeze was blowing up the river Liffey and Arthur paused to fill his lungs and relish the sense of freedom.
Five days later he was back in London. Arthur quickly hired some rooms for himself and arranged to meet his brothers to discuss their strategy for dealing with the accusations being made against Richard, and by extension the rest of the family. Richard was still claiming to be ill, but his scandalous disregard for the opinion of his social peers meant that he openly consorted with courtesans, with little regard for the effect this had on his wife, Hyacinthe, and their children: a state of affairs that was prejudicing more and more of the non-committed amongst the members of Parliament, not to mention provoking the wrath of those who owned the newspapers that seemed to fill every coffee shop and club in the city. But try as he might Arthur could not shift his brother from his course and matters came to a head one Sunday towards the end of April when Arthur paid a visit to Richard’s home in Chelsea.
The servant showed him into the drawing room, and Arthur picked his way over the toys and dolls that lay scattered about the floor. He took a seat by the window that overlooked the street and waited. After quarter of an hour had passed the door clicked open and Richard entered. He had not shaved for some days and his thin jaw was dark with stubble. His hair was roughly tied back with a ribbon and he wore a silk gown of the type favoured by Indian nabobs. He greeted his guest with a tired smile and stepped over the obstacles to join him at the window.
‘You look terrible,’ Arthur began.
‘I thank you. So kind of you to say so. How is married life, brother? Not that you can have enjoyed much of it as yet. I heard from William that you left Kitty in Dublin when you returned.’
‘She will be joining me soon enough.’
Richard looked at him with a sharp expression.‘Too soon, from your tone.’
‘I’m here to discuss
your
problems.’
‘Rather than your own?’ Richard sat back in his chair and winced. ‘Ahhh. Sorry, too much drink last night. I can’t cope with the consequences as well as I used to. Anyway, you mentioned problems.’
‘Richard, I have the seat for Rye, as you know, and will be taking my place in Parliament tomorrow. Naturally I will speak up for you.’ Arthur paused to ensure his next point was given its full impact. ‘The thing is, Richard, that your behaviour is not helping our cause.’
‘My behaviour?’
‘This flagrant cavorting around the capital with your latest mistress on your arm. Have you no sense of decorum?’
‘Decorum is for asses and hypocrites,’ Richard sneered. ‘I love the woman, and I don’t care who knows it. We are exceedingly happy together. How many men of our class can say that?’
‘That’s all very well, but you cannot ignore the impression it is creating on other people. They regard it as a scandal, Richard. And as long as they do, there is no hope of your achieving the high office you deserve, and no hope of Britain’s benefiting from your talents.’
Richard chuckled. ‘Quite the patriot, aren’t you, brother? Perhaps I am not quite so public-spirited as you think.’
‘I know you, Richard. I know that you gave several years of your life to promoting the fortunes of our country in India.And I know that you feel aggrieved over the scant recognition of your achievements that has been accorded to you by the people here in Britain. It is most unjust, I grant you that. But squatting here in your self-pity and indulging yourself in outraging public morals is a self-defeating form of revenge, I’d say. Richard, you cannot continue like this, for all our sakes.’
Arthur fell silent and stared at his brother earnestly for any sign that his words had had their intended effect. Richard sighed and stared out of the window. At length he shrugged, then coughed to clear his throat and winced at a sudden pain in his head.