Fire (53 page)

Sitting here, she feels so exposed. But turning the light off would be even worse. Ida nervously twists a strand of Minoo’s hair, so different from her own. Thicker, curlier and somehow rougher.

She wishes she could go to the stables, but has already phoned them to say that she’s got flu. It seems that animals can sense when something isn’t right and she doesn’t want to risk alarming Troja. Any of the girls in his fan club will be only too willing to ride him.

Ida lifts the glass. And puts it down again when she hears footsteps in the garden. They’re coming closer.

She gets up and tiptoes into the hall.

Most likely, it’s Minoo’s father who’s decided to come home early tonight after all, she tells herself.

But he drives a car, her panicky mind points out instantly.

If only her powers were functioning she might be able to sense who’s outside, but now she is as helpless as any non-magic person anywhere.

Feet are climbing the steps. And Ida remembers Minoo’s stories about the anonymous phone calls. And the broken windows at the
Engelsfors Herald
’s office. The threatening letters that Minoo’s father thinks she hasn’t found out about.

Someone rings the doorbell. Ida jumps.

Whoever it is carries on ringing the bell while she stands pressed against the wall. She doesn’t dare to move until she hears the steps walk away again.

She needs to make sure that the visitor really does leave
and doesn’t sneak about looking for another way to get in. The house has too many windows. She
hates
it.

Ida hurries silently into the living room and peeps out from behind one of the curtains.

She instantly recognises the figure just stepping out into the street. His upright posture. The cap and quilted jacket he wore last year as well.

G.

She runs out into the hall and throws the front door open. The chilly evening air flows in.

‘Wait!’ she calls.

Gustaf turns round.

‘Hi,’ he says as he starts walking back towards the house. ‘I’m sorry if I disturbed you. Were you asleep or something?’

‘Yup,’ Ida says.

Gustaf’s expression is so different from anything she has ever seen.

‘May I come in?’ he asks.

The penny drops. Gustaf is
nervous
.

‘Of course you can.’

She moves out of the way.

Gustaf hangs up his jacket in a way that somehow shows he has been here before. The old jealousy starts gnawing at Ida’s insides.

‘Is your Dad at home?’ he asks.

‘No, he’s working.’

‘And your mum’s in Stockholm now, right?’

‘Yes.’

They just stand there. Their eyes meet. Both of them look away simultaneously.

‘Would you like to have a cup of tea or something?’ she asks.

‘No, thanks, I’m fine. I just wanted to talk. If it’s all right by you.’

‘Of course it’s all right,’ Ida says a little too quickly.

‘Sure. But … well, you know,’ G says.

No, she doesn’t know. The only thing which comes to mind is that she hasn’t seen Gustaf and Minoo in each other’s company for a long time. It would’ve been helpful if Minoo had included some info about her and G in her long list.

‘Yup,’ she says again.

She ushers Gustaf into the living room and they sit down on the sofa, side by side. She can feel Minoo’s ears go bright red the way they always do, giving away how she feels.

She is sitting on a sofa.

Alone with G.

Despite all the time she’s spent observing him, she has never before noticed the attractive
colour
of his lips.

Is this it? Will it happen now? Will it come soon, the moment when he kisses her?

Better not, she reminds herself grudgingly. She doesn’t want it to happen now. As far as he’s concerned, she isn’t Ida, she’s Minoo. And she mustn’t forget it.

‘I feel so ashamed that I can’t think where to start,’ Gustaf says. ‘I understand if you’re angry with me. I had a feeling you wouldn’t answer if I phoned. That’s why I came here instead.’

Ida just nods. She must leave this to Gustaf, let him talk. Sooner or later, hopefully she’ll work out what he’s on about.

‘You were right all along about Positive Engelsfors,’ he says. ‘PE is a cult.’

He looks at her, as if to watch her reaction. It is instantaneous. Her ears go several hundred degrees hotter.

‘I’ve felt lost ever since Rebecka died. But only now am I beginning to understand quite
how
lost I’ve been,’ he continues. ‘I so wanted to believe that PE could help make me whole again. Because you made me doubt them, I was angry
with you. I want you to know that I have been very unhappy about the way I treated you. You used to be my best friend. The only one who really understood. And then I dumped you for … Rickard, of all people.’

Gustaf looks at Ida. His eyes are so beautiful. She wants to take him in her arms and tell him that she can forgive him anything.

‘It’s fine,’ she says.

‘It’s not fine.’

‘Yes, honestly. I understand that you broke down after Rebecka—’

‘That’s no excuse. I should have realised that there are no short cuts to being happy. Some things are
meant
to hurt. Perhaps I’ll never quite get over what I felt for her. I can face that now. And … well, that’s how it’s got to be.’

Ida does something that, as herself, she would never have dared to do. She takes his hand and holds it tightly.

His hand is warm and smooth, just as she always imagined it. Touching him makes her vibrate.

‘Right at the beginning, I had my doubts as to what they were about,’ he says. ‘But it is part of PE’s teaching that doubt is the great enemy, exactly the thing which prevents you from being happy. So I shoved it out of my mind. Thought the answer was to work harder on myself. Then, just the other day, Rickard said something that made me wake up at last.’

He uses his free hand to rub away an angry tear.

‘He said that the reason Rebecka killed herself was that she had opened herself up to the negative energies of the universe. That’s why she was depressed. He went on to say that the same thing applied to people who die in natural disasters or in war. It happens because they’ve tuned into the wrong wavelength … bloody sick idea.’

‘Yes,’ Ida says. ‘It is.’

Rebecka is someone Ida has avoided thinking about as much as possible. Now she can’t stop herself. Last year, Ida had hated her intensely. Rebecka, who had come from nowhere and stolen Gustaf. But now, Ida realises that she has never thought about
who
she was, as a person. While she was alive, Ida had seen Rebecka simply as an obstacle to getting Gustaf. And when she was killed, it was proof that Ida herself was in deep trouble.

Now, for the first time, she understands just how deeply Gustaf loved Rebecka. Which only makes her care
even more
for him.

‘Rickard has tried for ages to persuade me to join “the innermost circle”, but I’ve always backed away. I guess I didn’t want to know what they were up to. I have no proof, but I have a suspicion that the rumour going round about Linnéa Wallin … you know, I think they might really have tried to do something to her.’

Ida wishes that she could tell him what happened, let him know about Erik, but they agreed to stick to the version Linnéa had told the police.

‘Someone did break into Linnéa’s flat that night,’ she says. ‘She told the police.’

‘I could swear the inner-circle boys are behind it. I was in the centre that evening and they were definitely plotting something. I think they’ve lost all touch with reality. They think they can do whatever comes into their heads and no one can get back at them. It’s bloody frightening.’

‘But now you’ve done the right thing? And left?’

‘No, I haven’t,’ Gustaf replies. ‘I phoned Rickard a little earlier and apologised for the way I’d reacted. And said I’d like to join the innermost circle after all.’

‘But …’

‘If I get in, I can dig up information to pass on to your dad. He might publish it. Someone has to expose these people before everything gets badly screwed up.’

‘No, don’t,’ Ida says. ‘It’s far too dangerous!’

‘I’m past caring,’ Gustaf says. ‘The PE jargon is all about helping others but somehow all the benefits go to people who are already strong and “successful”. Just look at the members who front the organisation. Like Erik and Ida.’

Ida pulls her hand away.

‘Ida isn’t even a member!’

‘She was in the centre that day.’

‘I know, but just because she’s going out with Erik, that’s all. Was going out, I mean. It’s over between them. She was never really in love with him.’

Gustaf laughs a little.

‘It sounds almost as if you’re defending her.’

‘Why shouldn’t I?’

‘Are you serious?’ he asks.

Ida swallows. This might well be her only chance of hearing the truth. Not that she’s sure she wants to.

‘What do you think is so bad about Ida, really?’

Confusion replaces Gustaf’s smile.

‘But you know as well as I do. She’s totally false. She even bitches about her best friends. I honestly don’t think Ida has any genuine feelings. Except for herself, that is.’

‘Of course she has!’ Ida says and, by now, her whole face is glowing. ‘Of course she’s got genuine feelings! Loads!’

‘In that case she’s managed to hide them pretty well,’ Gustaf says.

‘I think Ida is … different now,’ Ida says. ‘She kind of grasps that she’s been wrong. At times.’

Gustaf looks searchingly at her.

‘Like, I think she’s trying to become a better person.’

‘Do you mean it’s true what they say about her backing Linnéa, instead of taking sides with Erik and his mates? Did she really?’

‘Yes, she did. Honestly. So, you see, she’s not all bad. It’s just that she’s had a hard time. It’s all been, like, too much. Where to start, though?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Where should Ida start? If she wanted to change?’

‘What about stop bitching? Ask people she’s insulted to forgive her? Though she’d better hurry up if she’s going to get round to apologising to everyone before she dies.’

Gustaf laughs.

And Ida bursts into tears. It is so sudden she doesn’t have time to hold them back.

At least, it isn’t she who’s making an idiot of herself in front of Gustaf, it’s Minoo.

‘What’s the matter?’ Gustaf asks.

Ida shakes her head.

‘I’m so glad you’re here,’ she manages to say.

‘Is this how you are when you’re glad?’ he smiles.

‘I’m glad because we’re talking, even if these are such difficult, sad subjects.’

‘I know,’ he says. ‘I’m glad, too.’

Gustaf puts his arm around her and pulls her close. And even when she stops crying, he doesn’t let go but carries on holding her.

In the night sky, the moon is hanging red and heavy, but its light shimmers like polished silver on the black surface of the stream. Minoo kneels on the damp ground of the bank. She looks at the face reflected back. The rippling water changes it constantly.

Suddenly, it is completely transformed.

Reddish-blonde curls frame a pale face. The eyes are closed. For a second, Minoo thinks it is Rebecka and reaches out to the image. Just before her fingers touch the water, the shifting outlines steady and she realises who it is.

Her face flickered past them during the seance.

Matilda.

She opens her eyes and looks straight at Minoo.

You showed great courage today when you broke the magic bond.

Matilda’s lips don’t move when she speaks.

‘Oh, you mean freeing Diana? Do you know anything about the necklace?’

An amulet. It was used to control her.

‘But who by? Who controlled her?’

To use an amulet in that way requires powerful magic. Whoever managed Diana must have been blessed by the demons.

‘But who is the Blessed One? The witch whose magic Ida felt in the Positive Engelsfors Centre? Is it Helena? Or who?’

It is concealed from us.

Two black feathers come floating along. Matilda’s face shivers when the feathers cross it.

The Blessed One has committed many crimes. You will soon become aware of them.

‘How can you know that, when you don’t know who the Blessed One is?’

Matilda only looks at her and Minoo feels increasingly frustrated. She has sympathised with the young girl who was Matilda once. But the Matilda who shows herself to them now has so little in common with a human being. She has been behaving like some elevated oracle all along, handing out the odd clue now and then. Is that what you become like after centuries on your own, with only the guardians for company?

‘What should we do?’ Minoo asks.

Matilda looks gravely at her.

After the trial you must identify and then stop the Blessed One
.

In the sky, the red moon is extinguished. But the sprinkling of silver still glitters on the dark surface of the stream.

Time is running out.

Matilda’s face shivers and then vanishes.

Vanessa wakes up with panic shooting through her body. This is Saturday. The day of the trial. And she is the one who will take the stand as the defendant.

It is five o’clock in the morning, but she can’t get back to sleep.

What happens if the body exchanges don’t help? What if Anna-Karin is convicted? What will her sentence be? Will she be executed, like Simon? Or will she ‘only’ be tortured?

Vanessa twists and turns in bed while her thoughts whirl around in her head.

What will happen to her if Anna-Karin’s body dies? Will Vanessa, her true self, also die? Or return to her own body? But then, where does Linnéa go, since she is in Vanessa’s body now? And what will happen to Anna-Karin’s soul …?

And a new line of thought begins. About her mum. And Melvin.

What if she never sees them again?

If she stays in bed for just one more second she’ll never manage to get out of it. There’s only one thing she can do. Prepare herself.

Vanessa pads across the cold floor in Anna-Karin’s room and opens the door to the kitchen. The smell of cigarette smoke hits her. Anna-Karin’s mother is already awake and seated at the kitchen table, puffing away and gazing absently
at something outside the window. She doesn’t notice Vanessa, who quietly goes into the bathroom.