Fire with Fire (Demonblood Series #2) (13 page)

Before I can take a step I plop back down on the bed, dizzy. I shake my head. This is weird…
different
. This isn’t how I usually feel when I wake up after one of Lucky’s benders. Yeah, I still feel like crap, but it’s more of a drugged feeling…like I’d taken some really strong valium or something.

After taking several deep breaths, I make my way out to the kitchen, carefully avoiding the piles of clothes scattered all over the floor. “Tattie? What happened to my room? It looks like the Dominatrix Depot exploded in there…”

My voice trails off. I’m so accustomed to awaking to the smells of freshly baked bread, sizzling bacon, and coffee brewing, the empty and aroma-free kitchen is a disappointment…and a bit alarming. I can’t remember a morning when Tatiana hasn’t greeted me.

“Tat? Tattie, where are you?”

Her bedroom door is closed, and I tap lightly before letting myself in. The room is dark and quiet, but the sight on the far side sends a shot of fear through my heart. Tatiana is lying motionless on her bed, her arms clasped on her stomach as if laid out in a casket.

For a split second I stand there, overwhelmed with fear. But only for a second. I cross the room in two quick strides and grab her hands. They’re still warm.

“Tattie…Tattie, are you okay? Can you hear me?” I whisper in her ear, shaking her gently. I stare carefully at her, looking for any movement…any sign of life. She’s so still, I can’t tell if she’s even breathing. “Tattie…open your eyes, Tattie…please,” I plead, louder now. I shake her harder as the tears start to form.

Maybe my eyes are playing tricks on me, but I think I make out a faint rise and fall. I rest my ear to her chest, hold my breath, and pray for a heartbeat.

There’s a sudden movement, and I lift my head to meet Tatiana’s disoriented gaze. She gives a small cough and struggles to sit up.

“Liora, dear, what are you doing?” she asks in a raspy voice.

“Oh, Tat, you scared me! Don’t ever do that again!” I exclaim, throwing my arms around her neck and pulling her close. The tears roll down my cheeks, but I smile widely and squeeze her tight.

“Have you lost your mind, dear child? What has gotten into you?”

I pull back and appraise her. “You weren’t in the kitchen when I woke up. And when I came to find you, you looked so…
still
.” I bite my lip and frown.

“Hmmm. I must have overslept. I’m sorry breakfast wasn’t ready for you—”

“Oh, Tat, I don’t care about that!” I playfully tap her dainty shoulder and smooth down her frayed silver mane. “I was just concerned for a minute, ‘cause I can’t remember a time you haven’t been up before me. And come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you actually
sleep
before.” I let out a relieved laugh and stand up to leave.

“Had you thought I died?” she asks with veiled amusement.

I pause and turn around. “Well, no…
I don’t know
. You were just lying there, so still, not moving. I couldn’t even tell if you were breathing. So yeah, it kinda freaked me out for a moment. Don’t
ever
do that again.”

I’m almost to the door when I hear her reply. “I will one day, you know.”

My heart beats heavily in my chest. “Will what?” I ask quietly.

“Die. Every mortal does, eventually. And I am no different.”

~~~~~~~

Tristan steadies himself against his Jaguar and flashes me a sexy smirk. “I was wondering if you’d show.”

“I said I would, didn’t I?” When Tristan had asked me to meet him at the old Fisherman’s Wharf landing, at first I’d thought he was joking. It was almost a hundred miles away.

I press the alarm on my keychain, and my Mustang lets off two quick beeps. I smooth my hair out of my face and fall into his arms. His lips meet mine in a rapid series of soft pecks before settling in for a deeper, more passionate embrace. My arms wrapped around him, I catch him watching me while we kiss, his eyes only half-closed.

We both laugh. “You peeked,” he says, and strokes the back of my head. I still get nervous when his hand wanders too near my Mark. Even though he knows the truth about me, I don’t want him to be reminded any more than necessary.

“Yeah, well, you only know because
you
were peeking too,” I tease back, giving his hand a light squeeze. He looks down at me and grins.

“I like watching you kiss me,” he says huskily, leaning closer. “I like seeing your lips on mine.”

“I like feeling them,” I whisper back, welcoming his kiss. My blood stirs and my skin tingles as he presses my body firmly against the side of the Jag.
If I can just pretend he’s Kieron…everything will be perfect
.

But Tristan is
not
Kieron. And during my two hour drive out to the coast, I had decided that’s a
good
thing. I had to share Kieron with Lucky. Being with him was a constant reminder that I’m not a normal human being—I’m part monster. And the only person who could love me was part monster.

But Tristan is normal. A regular human boy. And he wants me.
Only
me. He doesn’t even
know
about Lucky…well, not all the dirty details anyway. And I’m not going to tell him unless I absolutely have to. Just this once I want something that belongs to me and
only
me.

Tristan presses his hips into mine, and I hook my thumbs through his belt loops. The morning sun warms our faces and sweetens our kisses. Seagulls squawk over the water, and the salty breeze is rich with the smells of marine life. Being with him is so uncomplicated. So easy. And that’s what I need right now.

Tristan pulls back and lovingly strokes my hair. I reach up to his cheek and gently trace the wicked scar with my finger. Then, without really thinking, I stand on tiptoe and plant several soft kisses on his disfigured face. I’m surprised when a quick icy tingle shoots from my lips down to my stomach…much like the first time I saw him. I pull away and start walking toward the wooden dock.

“So what’re we doing out here?” I ask.

“I have a surprise for you. Come on.” An impish grin lights his face, and he holds out his hand.

Together we head down to the water’s edge. I wait while he goes to talk to an old man wearing a fisherman’s cap. They shake hands and the man nods, then points toward a row of mid-sized boats. Tristan waves me over.

“C’mon, Liora.”

Slightly amused, I oblige. “Tristan, what’s going on?”

He drapes an arm across my shoulders and points to a charming white boat named the “Sea Angel”.

“Hope you don’t get seasick,” he says, smiling.

“We’re going on that?” I ask. “Seriously?”

“Sure, why not? You’d mentioned how you’d never been on a boat before. Here’s your chance. It belongs to a good friend of mine, and he was more than happy to lend it to us for the day. And it’s perfect weather for a sail…come on, let’s go.” He reaches for me.

“It’s not really a sail boat, though, as there are no actual
sails
anywhere,” I tease him.

He chuckles and grasps my arm. “This is very true. We’re just gonna hafta settle for an engine. Come aboard, matey.” He flashes another wide grin and helps me over the rail. The murky water sloshes beneath us, covered with moss and debris.

I look around in awe. “You really know how to drive this thing?” It must be at least thirty feet long. Low white benches covered with soft blue pillows line the bow area, and the captain’s chair sits on a raised bench behind a little cabin in the middle of the boat.

Tristan shrugs nonchalantly. “Nah, but I figure it can’t be too hard. As long as I don’t crash us into some rocks or something I think we’ll be fine. You know how to swim, right?”

I whap him on the butt, and he laughs. “Okay, just teasing. I promise you, I’m an excellent captain. Been on boats most of my life and was sailing forty-footers before I even had my driver’s license. It’s a snap. Now, first things first,” he says, sounding like an airline attendant. “Life jackets are right there—” He points to a hook holding two bright orange vests. “—and there’s two more next to the bench on the bow. Bathroom is down below deck if nature calls, along with a small kitchenette—but I don’t think anything’s in it but Diet Coke and some Fig Newtons. Now, take a seat over there and make yourself comfortable while I back ‘er outta the slip.”

I plant one more quick kiss on his lips before heading to the front of the boat. The engine is so quiet I don’t even realize it’s on until we start moving backward. “Gotta go slow in here, but once we leave the bay and hit open water we can let ‘er rip,” Tristan calls down from his position in the captain’s seat.

It’s a calm day and the ocean is clear. Tristan expertly moves the boat through the water like it’s cutting through glass. We pick up speed, and my hair starts whipping in my eyes. Without hesitation, I twist it in a knot at the base of my neck, stealing a glance at Tristan as he scans the horizon from his perch. Our eyes connect and he gives me a secret smile.

Stretching out my legs on the cushioned bench, I inhale the fresh salty air and admire the tranquility of the calm water. How have I managed to go through my whole life without experiencing something so delightful and exhilarating?

The further we get from land, the freer I feel. Soon, the shoreline is completely out of sight, and there’s nothing but open sea. I lean back on my arms and tilt my face to catch the warm rays of the sun, completely at peace as we fly over the ocean. I haven’t felt this good in a really long time. Since Kieron left.

As much as I try not to think about him, the hurt won’t leave. There’s too much unfinished business between us. It would’ve been easier if we’d had some horrible fight, or I had any sort of closure whatsoever. But the last thing he said to me, the
very
last thing he whispered in my ear was, “
I love you
”.

And I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, he
did
love me. I felt it, down to my soul. Hearing those words as Kieron had leaned in to kiss me outside the cave lit me up in a way I never thought possible. I’d always figured I’d never find someone who loved me for what I really was. But the emotion behind his words was so powerful, so consuming. It was natural…and right.

In that moment, I’d discovered something about myself. I knew that if it ever came down to it, I would sacrifice myself to save him. If there was ever a choice between his life and mine—for whatever crazy reason—I would die for him. No doubt about it. It wouldn’t even be a choice, really. I’d rather die than live without him. Having felt what it was like to be held by the one I love more than anything in the world, I knew I couldn’t survive without him. I wouldn’t
want
to survive.

I’m still not sure how Tristan managed to sneak into my broken heart. It’s impossible for him to take Kieron’s place—
no one
can ever do that. But it’s almost as if he’s carved out his own special spot next to all the emptiness and ugliness, and filled it with something nice and comforting. When I see him, I immediately feel at ease. It’s different from the way Kieron made me feel. With Kieron, it was as if every part of me was alive and on fire all the time. With Tristan, I just feel…
nothing.
Tristan is my morphine.

Coming out of my reverie, I notice we’re no longer cutting through the glassy water but idling gently, surrounded by miles and miles of clear blue ocean. A brief chill sweeps over me as Tristan sidles up from behind and wraps his arms around my chest, burying his face in my neck. I snuggle into him, the initial chill replaced with a familiar warmth. His body and breath soothe me, and he laces his fingers through mine.

“How’re you feeling?” he whispers in my ear.

“Wonderful,” I sigh. “This is so nice. I wish we could stay out here forever and never go back.”

“You don’t mean that,” he says, undoing my bun and stroking my hair.

I sigh again and watch a seagull circle above the boat. “Why’d we stop?” I ask, angling my face back to his.

“Just wanted to rest for a few. We’re about thirty miles out. I wanted to hold you for a while if that’s all right.” He gives me a soft kiss on my temple.

“It’s more than all right,” I whisper, pulling his arms around me tighter. My gaze falls to the flash of orange on the deck.

The only life jacket I need is right here
, I think to myself. All of a sudden I realize the only thing stopping me from jumping over the side of this boat and into the eternal abyss is Tristan, his arms snugly wrapped around me.

Tears spring to my eyes, and to my mortal shame I start weeping like a baby. I try to pull away, but Tristan holds me back.

“It’s okay, Liora.” His voice is as soft as his fingertips on my cheek.

“I-I-d-don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I choke through my sobs.

He runs his fingers through my hair and rubs my shoulder. “I think you’ve been holding a lot of stuff in. Stuff that makes you feel like crap. It’s okay to let it out. You gotta let it go. Then you can start to heal and move on.”