Authors: Cynthia Wright
"Star Dreamer," Kills Hungry Bear murmured in a satisfied tone. He smoked a bit, smiling, then repeated, "Star Dreamer! It is a fine name. Tomorrow we will feast and dance to celebrate the new beginning for Star Dreamer and the end of the worries you have been carrying."
"Wait." Fox held up his hand as Kills Hungry Bear tried to pass him the pipe. "There is more. I must tell you a secret. I only hope that when you hear it, you will not kill me."
"Never!" his friend scoffed.
"I..." Fox took a deep, burning breath and started again. "On the day when the Lakota and Cheyenne fought Long Hair and his bluecoats on the banks of the Greasy Grass River..."
Kills Hungry Bear scowled. "Yes? What about it?"
"I was there, too. I rode with Custer!"
Chapter 20
August 9, 1876
"You are making a jest!" Kills Hungry Bear shouted, then lowered his voice when his woman stirred and opened her eyes. "I must tell you that I do not laugh about this."
"It's not a joke; it's the truth." Fox suddenly felt incredibly tired.
"Do you forget that I was there as well?" the other man hissed angrily. "If you were with Long Hair, you would not need to worry that I would kill you tonight because you would have died with Long Hair. The bluecoats shamed themselves, begging for mercy, but we killed every man! We made
certain
they were dead."
The flat tone of Kills Hungry Bear's voice sent a shiver down Fox's spine. The hideous tales of mutilations performed by the Indians on the dead soldiers rose up unbidden in his memory. His mouth was dry when he spoke again. "That day has been the main reason for the shadow in my heart. I should explain... that I was only riding with the Seventh Cavalry because President Grant—the Great White Father—asked me to go, to watch Long Hair, because he didn't trust him. I went because I thought I might be able to talk sense to Custer..." Fox flicked up a brow as he spoke. "Well, I was idealistic and stupid. My discussions with him led only to arguments. You can't imagine how I felt when it became clear that Custer was going to go ahead and lead the cavalry into battle against your people."
Kills Hungry Bear continued to scowl. "I am listening. Be quick."
"When Custer and I quarreled for the last time, not long before the attack began, he became so angry at me that he ordered me to leave
.
I was a constant source of aggravation to him. And I admit that, in spite of my opinion of the situation, riding away made me feel awful." Fox had been speaking in a harsh, almost angry tone, but now his voice was choked with emotion. "I had been a hero in America's war to free the Negro slaves—a warrior for
my
people—so to ride away that day before a battle was hard. I felt uneasy. I traveled to Deadwood, weeks passed, and then I heard that every single one of those men who followed Custer had been
killed.
The guilt began to eat me alive. I blamed myself for not finding the right words to convince Custer not to attack." Fox paused. "I have never agreed with any of my country's policies regarding the Indians, and I felt even more so about that battle. I'd met Crazy Horse. I knew there might be friends of mine fighting beside him... and I thought that your cause was just..."He rubbed his eyes again. "I'm exhausted. Talking in circles."
Slowly the furrow relaxed in Kills Hungry Bear's brow. He sighed. "It took great courage for you to tell me this story, Star Dreamer."
"I had to," Fox said plainly.
"Yes. I understand now. You have truly been torn apart in spirit, but now the mending is begun. I thank you for leaving the bluecoats that day." A grim smile flickered over his lips. "I would have been very sorry to kill you."
"I would have been sorry to die... but the guilt has almost been worse. If only I could go back and change the words I spoke to Custer. I should not have allowed myself to become so angry—"
"But you cannot go back; none of us can! My friend, you did what you could to change the outcome," Kills Hungry Bear argued. "Isn't that what your dream taught you—that a true human being charts his own course rather than follow a misguided flock? You whites have no war council, where all the warriors can speak about the coming battle. Long Hair listened to no one, and his men had no choice but to obey. There is no
wouncage,
no tribal consciousness, for the bluecoats. I pity them!" He waved a hand as if to indicate that enough time had been wasted on this conversation. "I do not think that anything you could have said would have changed Long Hair's mind, do you? And if you had not ridden away from the Greasy Grass River, but joined the bluecoats in battle instead, the story would be the same—except that one more white would be dead. You!"
"That's a good point," Fox said dryly. "And, of course, I wouldn't really change my decision that day. That's what I healed tonight when I understood that I could not change what the army did." He leaned forward. "What I am doing now is releasing the secret. Has it changed your respect for me?"
Kills Hungry Bear shrugged and rolled his eyes. "No... but I do not think you should 'release the secret' too freely in this village. There are angry warriors here who would not care for the idea of sheltering a survivor from the battle with Long Hair here in Crazy Horse's own camp!"
They shared a smile over the irony of the situation. "You speak wisdom as usual, my friend," Fox said. "I thank you for your care, your words, the beads, and my splendid new name. But now... I find that I am so, so tired..."
Kills Hungry Bear watched with affection as Star Dreamer yawned and put his head back to rest. He mumbled some words about leaving, then slumber overtook him and he began to snore.
* * *
Fox was still slightly blinded by the midday sunshine as he headed toward the place where the stream wound nearest the village. There, in the shade of the cottonwoods and enjoying a fine cushion of grass, the women did the work that occupied them most of their waking hours. Later, when the sun blazed hotter and the women and children had taken baths in the stream, the village would rest. Not yet, though.
Fox stood a short distance from the busy scene and looked for Maddie's distinctive gown. Most of the Lakota women were refining hides that had already been scraped clean by rubbing them with sandstones to make them softer, and softer still. Another group filled pale skins with fresh water from the stream, wading in partway. Finally Fox's eyes fell on a circle that included a few women and many children. In the middle was a big carved bowl full of strawberries. A young boy was pouring what appeared to be sugar from a coarse bag over the berries. Squeals of pleasure nearly drowned out the voices of all the women, who conversed contentedly as they worked.
"Star Dreamer."
Fox pivoted in surprise and saw the girl who was Kills Hungry Bear's companion in the absence of his wife. What was she called? He realized he didn't know. How had she learned of this new name of his, a name that was only a few hours old? Fox felt uncertain, so he merely smiled and greeted her deferentially.
"You do not know me," she said, her nostrils flaring a bit. "I am called Runs Away. Are you looking for your woman, the one with the fire hair?"
"I am glad to know you, Runs Away," Fox replied as he tried to decide if she liked him, and if not, why.
"I will take you to Fireblossom, but first I hope that you will tell me... why you say to Kills Hungry Bear that he should not marry me."
Taken aback, he blinked. "I have not said this to him, Runs Away." Fox saw by the way she set her mouth that she didn't believe him so he added softly, "I give you my word. But you know that Kills Hungry Bear already has a wife, don't you? You know that his family waits for him at the agency?"
Her eyes flashed like a midnight storm. "There is room in his tipi for more than one wife. I am not afraid of fighting!"
Fox glanced over her and reflected, in the detached yet carnal way of males, that Runs Away was undoubtedly a wildcat in bed. She wasn't kind or gentle, but no doubt she offered Kills Hungry Bear something that his beloved Little Dove did not. The only problem was that Runs Away wouldn't be happy about being scorned. Fox said, "I can assure you that Kills Hungry Bear has not sought my advice about this."
"He would listen to you," she said pointedly.
Squinting as a ray of sun emerged between the leaves overhead, Fox replied with a touch of impatience, "I would not interfere. I am sorry. Now, if you will take me to Fireblossom..."
"She's over there," Runs Away snapped, then stalked off in the opposite direction, toward the village.
Although he had an uneasy feeling about what had just happened, Fox's mind was overflowing with thoughts about his own life, and about Maddie. Runs Away had directed him toward the crowd that ringed the bowl of strawberries, but he still couldn't see anything except women garbed in buckskin dresses and moccasins. Then, as he drew nearer, one of the children moved just enough for him to glimpse a mane of marmalade hair. Yet this woman appeared to be Lakota. She wore a pretty dress of doeskin, fringed and beaded, and seemed to be in charge of the gathering. Even as Fox reached forward, past the excited little boys, to touch the kneeling woman's shoulder, she was speaking a lilting phrase of the Lakota language. A baby girl came toddling toward her, plump cheeks smeared with berries and sugar, one hand outstretched to receive another treat.
"Hun-hun-he!"
the woman said, laughing, as the baby toppled into her lap.
Fox realized that she hadn't noticed his touch in the midst of all the activity. He saw Maddie's friend, Strong, watching him from across the circle. She looked amused. Feeling slightly annoyed, Fox bent down and once more tapped the woman's shoulder.
Time seemed to slow her movements as she turned and looked up simultaneously. The silky, curling, dawn-colored hair swirled out to make a graceful frame for Maddie's glowing face.
Fox knew that his mouth was open, but he felt frozen. Before he could react, Maddie had jumped up, hugged him, and pirouetted with her pale arms outstretched.
"What do you think?" she exclaimed. "Isn't it lovely? I feel so much
better
now that I'm dressed properly. I mean, I know that I'm still out of place with this hair of mine, but ever since Strong gave me this beautiful dress, I've sensed a change in the way the other women treat me." She ran her hands over it admiringly, then looked straight into Fox's eyes with an irresistible grin. "Don't you think it's flattering, too? I feel so
free—
so unrestricted! Well? What do you think? Honestly, Fox, if you don't approve..."
Managing finally to close his mouth, Fox shook his head and laughed. "Madeleine Avery, you are the prettiest little Fireblossom I've ever seen! Is that better?"
Maddie pulled him by the hand until they were nearly hidden by a giant cottonwood tree, then threw her arms around his neck. "Are you certain?" she coaxed.
"Completely." Captivated, Fox lifted her off the ground in his arms, wound his fingers through her long curls, and then kissed her. Maddie's mouth was ambrosia, opening to welcome him while she squirmed happily in his embrace. At length he lifted his head and observed, "You feel damned good in that dress. I don't miss all that underwear of yours a bit."
She giggled. "Neither do I!" Then her features softened and she caressed his stubbled cheek. "I've
missed
you."
His brows flew up in disbelief. "Looks to me like you've been busy these past couple days. You've worked a lot harder to fit in here than you ever did in Deadwood, and a lot of people never would've believed you could manage this. At least in Deadwood you could get by speaking English, living in a house, wearing the gowns you brought from Philadelphia, eating the same kind of—"
"Boring," Maddie interrupted gaily. She had opened her mouth to continue when something caught her eye around the back of their cottonwood tree. Standing on tiptoe in her soft moccasins, she drew Fox's head down and whispered, "Do you remember the young woman I told you about who never bathes and rarely speaks? There she is, sitting in the grass under that far tree, watching everyone else eat strawberries. Her eyes are so sad. I want to speak to her, but I confess that I'm a little frightened."
Fox leaned around the tree and looked at the woman who sat alone a few yards away. She wasn't very old, but her appearance confirmed his guess that she was in mourning. Maddie was right: under ragged garments, matted hair, and dirt-and-ash-smeared skin, the girl was pretty. Now, as if feeling his thoughts, she lifted her chin and stared directly into his eyes. Even from a distance, her gaze was haunting.
Fox stepped back behind the tree, oddly shaken. "I—I'm sure she's in mourning. There are other widows in the village, but my guess is that this one is more visible and disturbing because she's so young." He paused, thinking. "She reminds me of a beautiful bird that was struck down unexpectedly. She's lost someone she loved deeply, and her dreams died, too."
Maddie seized this theme. "Yes! She's like a bird whose wings have been broken!"