Authors: Gerard Brennan
Smooth,
Jim thought.
Maybe this is going to be all right.
Tony cleared a path in the crowd. As he closed the door behind them he asked the crowd to wait until they were called in. Everyone obeyed Tony with very little complaint. They wouldn't have done that for Jim.
Inside the hall rows of folding chairs filled the floor. They faced a stage. Mike sat behind the Argos desk on the stage. Jim's task for the evening had been to find a good strong desk. His ma was always going on about how sturdy his sister's flat-pack desk was. He hoped to get it back before anyone noticed.
On stage, Mike wrote in his little notebook. Jim waited for Tony to take the lead. Tony didn't move and Cathy stood with them in silence. Thirty seconds later Mike stopped writing and looked up.
"Tony, Jim. Who's your friend?"
"She's a friend of Jim's family. Big into different kinds of religion," Tony said.
Hearing it aloud for the second time, Jim's cover story for Cathy sounded too flimsy. Mike would never buy it.
"Excellent!" Mike said.
Mike got out from behind the desk and hopped off the stage. He landed with more grace than should be possible for such a big man, and weaved through the chairs to greet Cathy. He gave her a smile and held out his hand. She reached out and grasped it and he raised hers to his mouth to brush it lightly with his lips. Jim's jealousy stung less in the knowledge that Tony had just been well blown out.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss…?" Mike said.
"Maguire," Cathy said, "my name is Cathy Maguire."
"And I'm Mike Rocks."
Jim cleared his throat to let Cathy know Mike wasn't the only person in the world. She didn't take the hint. Mike looked totally at ease with her attention. They'd already become friends. More than friends. They'd become possibilities.
Well, at least it wasn't Tony
, Jim thought.
Cathy shook her head, swishing that long, dark hair of hers. Jim watched Mike watch Cathy. Mike didn't fidget or squirm. He just paid attention. To everything. Mike's eyes scanned Cathy from her face to her toes and back again. Cathy spoke first.
"So what exactly are you hoping to achieve, Mr Rocks?"
"Call me Mike. Everyone does."
"Okay, Mike, what do you hope to achieve?"
"I'm just building a following for the big guy down under. All I hope to do is establish the religion in Ireland and from there, who knows?"
"Are you making any money out of this?"
"No. I don't accept contributions and there is no membership charge. I am blessed with enough money to pay for everything I need."
"Should the religious leader of a satanic cult use words like blessed?"
"Well I can hardly call having enough to get by a curse, Cathy. May I call you Cathy?"
"Yes of course you can. Mike, are you the Anti-Christ?"
"Are you a journalist or something? I've been asked less questions in Castlereagh Police Station."
"No, I'm just fascinated by what you're doing here. So are you the Anti-Christ?"
"No, I've never claimed to be the son of the Devil. That's just a Chinese whisper. Mostly Jim's fault, I think. He's not that gifted in the brains department."
Tony sniggered and Jim punched him on the arm. Mike looked at Jim and smiled.
"Sorry, Jim. I don't mean to take the piss. You're very talented in other areas."
Jim nodded.
An example or two would have been nice,
he thought.
Cathy got back on track. "So if you're not the Anti-Christ, what drives you to do what you do?"
"Lucifer asked me to. He's not the kind of guy you can say no to."
"The Devil came to see you?"
"Actually, I was in Hell at the time."
"Aha, so you're a lunatic then."
Jim glanced at Tony. Tony scrunched his face as if expecting an explosion.
Mike chuckled.
"I don't think I'm insane, but that's usually a bad sign, isn't it? I tell you what. Stick around for the ceremony. I have a fantastic finale planned and I might be able to convince you that this whole business is worth taking seriously. What do you say?"
"Oh, I wouldn't come all this way and miss the most entertaining part. Of course I'll stay."
"Excellent. Now if you could excuse us, I need to talk privately to Tony and Jim for a few minutes. I don't mean to be rude, but we have a lot to prepare for."
Tony led Cathy to the door. She turned and waved at Mike before she stepped out into the expectant crowd. Invisible Jim didn't get a look in.
Tony closed the door, blocking out the peepers. The three of them stood in silence for a few seconds.
"Why didn't you introduce me to your friend before now, Jim?" Mike asked.
And that was okay. Even when Tony whooped and smacked his lips together to make Primary School kissy sounds, Jim felt okay.
***
The crowd, which seemed to have doubled in size since she'd been inside, were quite disappointed when she closed the door behind her. They wanted something to happen. But there was also a strange vibe in the air. Excitement on edge. Almost as if they were in two minds about sticking around. Cathy reasoned that most of them had been raised in a country where religion forms a large part of a person's identity.
They were just about to go against everything that had been hammered into them from their very first visit to mass or Sunday school.
Cathy found a seat on a nice low wall a little away from the crowd. It amused her to watch how the teenagers interacted. The majority wore baseball caps or hoodies. The Goth kids were outnumbered more than two-to-one at a rough estimate. They were probably used to that though. In fact, most of these black-clad teens revelled in the fact that they were practically a minority. It was a badge of individuality, she supposed. Some of the Hoods watched the Goth kids as if they were animals at a zoo. They seemed to be fascinated by the variety of hairstyles and the fuck off attitude they exuded so easily. Conversely, Cathy noticed that although the Goths gave the impression of aloofness, there were plenty of telltale signs of nerves. Their eyes darted every time a group of Hoods laughed out loud. Every so often Cathy would spot a Goth checking his pockets or her handbag to make sure all their valuables were still present.
It was a great way to pass the time. When the doors to the hall opened and the crowd filtered in, Cathy was almost disappointed.
The Hoods and Goths swarmed the seated area and sat fidgeting. The red velvet curtains concealed the stage in front of them. Jim and Tony stood at either end and held the ropes that drew the curtains. Cathy took a seat at the back.
"Thank you for coming to this significant event," Tony said. "You will learn a lot tonight."
With the full attention of the audience on the closed curtains, Tony nodded to Jim and they pulled the ropes simultaneously. The curtains swept open. A plain black cloth had been draped over the desk in the centre of the stage. Two black candles burned in simple iron wrought candlesticks. Mike stood behind the table bare-chested and wide-eyed. He held a short samurai sword in his hand. Cathy had dated a martial arts enthusiast in her youth. She knew that this particular weapon was known as a tanto. She also knew what it was traditionally used for.
"Welcome to the first black mass of the True Church of Satanism." Mike's voice boomed and carried well in the hall, even without the aid of a PA system. "Tonight will be the only mass that I perform for you. I have chosen Tony, the handsome young man standing stage right, to take on the role of high priest. As the religion grows, more priests will be elected. I have written guidelines for this procedure and entrusted them to Tony. Say hello to your flock, unholy one."
"Hello everybody. I look forward to taking up my new position." Tony's voice also travelled well.
"The other young man on the stage is Jim. He's going to be our first human sacrifice." Mike said.
An excited chatter spread through the audience. Cathy chuckled.
"He's only joking," Jim said; his voice was notably lower and less suited to public speaking than Mike and Tony's.
The hubbub calmed and Mike nodded in appreciation. He handled the attention with grace.
"Sorry folks. Just thought I'd lighten the mood. Jim will actually help Tony perform the background stuff throughout tonight's ceremony. Kind of an altar boy, I guess. So without further ado, let me introduce you to the newest and truest religion."
Tony and Jim disappeared backstage for a moment and came back with a huge pile of pamphlets in their arms. They distributed them to the audience as quickly as they could. While they did this Mike opened a bottle of Jameson's whiskey and took a mouthful from the neck. A few of the Hoods cheered him on.
"Inside the pamphlet that Tony and Jim are distributing you'll find some basic principles of the True Church of Satanism. I've also outlined the basic mass and the rules of conduct that each Satanist must abide by. This information is pretty much the religion at its most basic. Each high priest will have an element of artistic licence for how they conduct their ceremonies. However, the principles and rules must be adhered to."
Cathy received her pamphlet last. Jim gave her a leering smile as she accepted it and thanked him. She pretended to read the guidelines until Jim walked away. She had a quick look at the crowd who were pointing out blocks of text to each other and discussing the contents of the pamphlet. She grinned and shook her head. They were taking the whole thing so seriously.
She cast her attention back to the pamphlet, a simple black and white photocopy, mostly made up of bullet points. No frills. She would have a good read later. She concentrated on what Mike had to say.
"Apart from writing the pamphlet I have also scripted a ceremony that will be used for the black mass when Tony takes over as high priest. Tonight I will not be using the script. Tonight's mass will be a one and only and I do not wish it to be repeated in any shape or form. If this happens, the offending Satanist will be excommunicated and all True Satanists will be forbidden to interact with the offender ever again.
"I have very little to say and this shall be a brief ritual. Even those of you with cannabis-shortened attention spans shouldn't miss anything. It is important that you remember what I say and do next. You are about to bear witness to the defining point of this religion.
"I will be leaving you soon. I have decided to go back to Hell in order to have a meeting with our Master. I hope that he is receptive."
Mike stopped his speech for a second and unsheathed the tanto blade. He rotated his wrist and light caressed the short, curved and vicious blade. His hand blurred and the audience gasped as Mike stood with the blade resting against the side of his neck. He took a deep breath and lowered his hand to his side. Cathy made a mental note to ask Mike what that was all about.
"That should shut the little pest up. Now, where was I? Oh yes. I shall return to Hell for a while. With any luck I will return, but not in this body. I will be born again, I hope. I'm kind of winging this, as I haven't spoken to the big man himself yet. In preparation for my return I have given Tony and Jim a copy of a letter I have written in front of them. The letter contains one password each that I shared with the boys just before you filed in. I haven't had a chance to contact a third party with the information.
"In addition I will pick one of the members of this fine audience to take part in the same exercise with me. They will come on stage and write a word on a piece of paper, show it to me and seal the envelope, without sharing the word with anyone else in the room. They will be entrusted with the letter until my return. Please raise your hand if you think you can handle the responsibility."
Roughly seventy-five percent of the audience raised their hands. Cathy didn't raise hers. Tony took a tennis ball out of his pocket and threw it into the densest cluster of volunteers. A teenaged girl with purple hair and a generous application of black eyeliner caught it. Tony called her to the stage.
Cathy was sure that the girl wouldn't make it up the steps to the stage. Ribs and spine pushed through a T-shirt, more than likely bought in Mothercare, and Cathy didn't believe she had the muscle mass for such exertion. The girl made it somehow and handed the ball to Mike. He took it and set it on the altar. She introduced herself as Denise. He took a blank piece of paper from his back pocket and a pen and handed it to her. She scrawled a word onto the page, and folded the paper on the altar. Mike gave her an envelope and she sealed it shut with a slow, sensuous lick. Probably the sexiest skeleton Cathy had ever seen. Mike thanked her and the bony Goth jumped up and wrapped her arms around Mike's neck. She gave him a deep kiss. Cathy felt a surge of inexplicable jealousy. Other females in the crowd hissed, catlike. The males cheered.
Mike returned the kiss for a moment and then put his big hands under her armpits and lowered her gently to her feet. He gave her a wink and asked her to return to her seat. She obeyed, wearing a dreamy expression. Her smile exposed all of her teeth. Mike smiled too and opened his arms to the crowd.
"Denise will be present at the ceremony when I announce my return. We will open the letters then. Denise, give Tony your contact details before you go home tonight."