Fires of Autumn (40 page)

Before he
could reply, the door to the Oval Office opened and men began pouring out into
the hall. His private time with Casey was ended. With a lingering glance at
Casey, who was gazing back at him with enormous hostility, Scott stood up from
her guest chair and quit the office without another word.

People
moved past Casey’s desk, leaving the Oval Office, as she struggled to shake off
the conversation with Scott and finish up the President’s agenda.  She
realized, as she went back to typing, that her hands were shaking. 
She
was shaking, mostly because some of what he said had her thinking.

Damn him!

***

When Colt
emerged from his meeting with Mark Miller, the official story was that Special
Agent Harrios was taking a few days off to recover from an accident. At least,
that was what Colt had relayed to the President.  The truth of the matter was
something very different.

As Casey
sat at her desk and typed minutes from the President’s meeting with his
National Security Advisor, she was trying very hard to focus on her job.  After
her run-in with Senator Dane, she realized, to her horror, that she was
seriously starting to re-think everything.  Scott may have been hell-bent on
breaking her and Colt up, but some of what he said had made sense. Like it or
not, it had, and coupled with the run-in with Mr. Meade, suddenly, things in
her life were not so rosy.  Things were getting scary.

The result
of her fear was that she had been distant to Colt.  She barely acknowledged him
when he came out of his meeting with Mark Miller and really hadn’t spoken to
him all morning.  As the day advanced, so did her sense of disquiet. Perhaps
she really
was
in danger and putting her family in danger because she
was being foolish.  If Colt’s last girlfriend really was murdered like Scott
said, then maybe she needed to re-think her position. So many thoughts were
rolling around in her head that they were making her crazy, but she kept it
bottled up inside, not sure how to deal with it. All she knew was that she was
terrified.

As Casey
wrestled with her emotions, Colt sat in his office, watching her, increasingly
concerned with her behavior. Usually, she would look at him, wink at him, or
give him a little smile once in awhile. He lived for those moments. But this
morning, she had deliberately kept her eyes off of him.  As the clock neared
noon and the President went upstairs for lunch with his wife, Colt collected
his car keys and went to Casey’s desk.

She had
her head down, going through a file folder of paperwork.  Chris was sitting at
his desk next to hers, in a rare moment of not being on the phone, but Colt
didn’t give the man a second glance. Usually he was careful around Eckart
because the man was a gossip, but not today. He was beyond caring about that. 
He thumped quietly on Casey’s desk to get her attention.

She looked
up at him without even a hint of a smile on her lips. “What can I do for you,
Colt?”

She said
it with such defeat in her voice.  He held out his hand to her. “Come with me,”
he said softly. “Let’s get some lunch.”

“I’m not
really hungry.”

He just
held out his hand. “Please,” he begged softly. “We’ll get something fast.”

Casey
almost refused him again but she really didn’t have the energy to dispute him.
She felt so dull and sick inside.  Silently, she collected her purse and her
coat, and followed him out of the office.

They
walked out of the West Wing in silence, side by side, into the cool late
January air.  Casey pulled on her coat as he held her purse, buttoning it up
against chill. Colt eyed the coat as he handed her back her purse.

“We need
to get you a heavy coat,” he said. “You still wear those lightweight things. I
thought you would have learned your lesson by now.”

She
shrugged, her head down, watching the pavement as they walked. “I like this
coat.”

Colt
sighed heavily and came to a halt at the end of the White House driveway along
Pennsylvania Avenue.  He faced Casey seriously.

“I can’t
take this anymore,” he said quietly. “There’s obviously a lot on your mind and
I would appreciate it if we can discuss it like adults. I don’t do well in a
relationship with a lack of communication. I’m not sure what I did to deserve
the silent treatment.”

She looked
at him and, after a moment, shrugged weakly. “I… I don’t even know where to
start,” she said softly. “That whole thing a couple of days ago just really
shook me up.  I just don’t know where to start with what I’m feeling. I’m still
trying to figure it out.”

He put his
hands in his pockets. “Angel, I know you’re shook up.
I’m
shook up. But
I told you before; we’ll get through this but I really need your trust. I don’t
like it when you give me the cold shoulder, even if it’s because you’re afraid
or confused. You need to talk to me about it so we can work it out.”

She looked
at her shoes again. “I keep thinking about my family,” she murmured. “I look at
Hunter and Brody and I’m scared to death for them. Mr. Meade said he could get
me anytime, anywhere. What if he goes after my boys? And what about this baby
I’m carrying? Is it fair to bring this baby into a situation like this?”

His eyes
widened and the hands came out of his pockets. “What do you mean?”

She put
her hand on her belly, tried to speak, but ended up bursting into quiet tears. 
Colt quickly, gently, took her by the elbow and began to walk her across the
street just to get her away from the pedestrian traffic.  They continued on
into the cold, busy confines Lafayette Park so they could have some privacy.
Colt put his arm around her shoulders as he led her into a section of the park
less traveled.

“Angel,”
he said softly. “I know you’re upset and I’m very sorry that all of this has
happened. What can I do to make you feel better? What can I do to help?”

She wiped
at her eyes but the tears kept coming. “I’m just so scared, Colt,” she
whispered. “I’m scared for my boys and for Riley and for this baby.”

“You don’t
have to be.”

She looked
up at him, a flash of anger in the violet eyes. “Of course I have to be,” she
said. “By being with you, I’m putting them all in danger. If you and I break
up, they’ll be safe. I don’t want to put them in danger but I don’t want to
break up with you. What kind of mother does that make me that I would put you
before the safety of my own children?”

She was
rightfully miserable and he put his hands on her arms to pull her close, but
she slapped at his hands and pulled away. She didn’t want his comfort. Colt’s
expression was wrought with pain and disappointment as she refused to let him
console her.

“Angel,
you’re a wonderful mother,” he insisted softly. “You’re going to be a wonderful
mother for our baby. I’m so lucky that my child is going to have you as his
mother.   How can I convince you that the boys and our baby will be safe?
Nothing is going to happen to them, or to you.”

She looked
up at him with her great watery eyes. “You told me you had a girlfriend four
years ago,” she wept.  “What you didn’t tell me was that she was murdered. Why,
Colt? What happened to her?  Did you promise you’d keep her safe, too, and you
weren’t able to?”

He stared
at her, stunned.  “Who in the hell told you that?”

She could
see that he was reeling.  “It doesn’t matter,” she said. “What happened to her?
You promised that you wouldn’t keep secrets from me but you have. Tell me the
truth.”

His palms
began to sweat and his heart began to thump against his ribcage, feeling
cornered and angry.  “Well,” he said hoarsely, “I guess if you can’t be honest
and tell me who told you, I can’t be honest with you and tell you what
happened.”

He turned
away from her and started walking back towards the White House.  It was the
hardest thing he’d ever had to do but, much like her, he was dealing with
unfamiliar emotion these days.  Casey keeping a secret from him was like a stab
to the heart. He wasn’t sure how to deal with it other than to get away from
her for the moment. But he hadn’t taken five steps when he heard her calling
after him.

“Colt!”
she cried. “I’m sorry; I’m so sorry!”

He came to
a halt and turned around about the time she crashed into him. He was so glad
she had come after him because, if he was honest with himself, he really didn’t
know if he would have been able to make it another few feet without turning
around and begging for her forgiveness and understanding. Gratefully, he
wrapped his arms around her and she broke down into fresh tears.

“I’m
sorry,” she wept into his coat. “I wasn’t trying to be… I’m just so scared.
Maybe you’re used to this kind of stuff, but I’m not. I’m scared to death every
minute of every day and all I can think about is protecting my children and
saving you.  I feel like I’m going crazy.”

He shushed
her softly. “It’s okay,” he kissed her damp cheeks.  “You’re not crazy.”

“Yes, I
am. And I’m hormonal.”

He
grinned. “Okay, so you’re hormonal.”

“And...
and
crazy
!”

He laughed
softly. “Angel, you’re
not
crazy,” he insisted, wiping the moisture off
her cheeks. “but you do need to be honest with me and tell me who told you
about Katia.”

She gazed
up at him with her big, wet eyes. “Senator Dane,” she whispered. “I saw him
this morning when you were in your meeting with Mark. He just started talking
to me about stuff and next thing I know, you’re the topic of conversation and
he’s telling me that your last girlfriend was killed.”

Colt’s
features tightened. “I underestimated him,” he muttered after a moment. “I
thought he would give up when you politely rejected him, but I guess not.  The
man has done his homework on me.”

“He knew I
was dating you.”

He cocked
an eyebrow at her. “It’s not like we’ve been keeping it a secret. Word gets
around.”

She wiped
at her nose. “Did he lie, then?”

Colt wriggled
his eyebrows. “No,” he said honestly. “But what he told you was fairly
confidential information. I’d like to know how he got it.”

She was
starting to feel scared again. “You said yourself he’s a powerful senator. I’m
sure he has his ways of getting what he wants.”

“That’s
apparent,” he appeared thoughtful for a moment as he gently caressed her arms.
“Yes, she was murdered, but the case was never solved.  Given the fact that her
father was a Russian arms dealer, it’s not surprising she was killed. We’ll
never know who did it.”

She was
listening seriously.  “Did you meet her while you were in Russia?”

“Yes.”

“Did you
love her?”

His dark
eyes glimmered at her. “Yes,” he said honestly. “But it can’t measure up to to
what I feel for you.”

She smiled
at him, the first time she had done so in over a day. “I’m sorry she was
killed,” she said softly. “That must have hurt.”

“It did,
but it pales in comparison to the hurt I feel whenever we have a disagreement
or are at odds.  I just can’t handle it when we have conflict, Casey. It just
destroys me.”

“I’m
sorry,” she whispered, reaching up to caress his cheek. “I’m not handling all
of this very well. I’ll try harder.”

He kissed
her forehead and then her lips.  “You’re doing fine,” he murmured. “But no more
holding back, please. If you’re upset, I need for you to talk to me about it.
Don’t shut me out. All right?”

She
nodded, looking rather sheepish. “I guess… well, I guess my only real
experience with communication in a serious relationship was with Dennis, and he
just didn’t like to talk about anything. He would just joke his way through it
and avoid the reality of a problem, so I learned to just deal with things
myself. I’m sorry; I’m still learning with you.  It’s only right that we
communicate completely.”

He cupped
her face with his big hands and kissed her. “Tell me the truth,” he whispered.
“Did Dane come on to you?”

She shook
her head. “I would tell you if he did, but he really didn’t. He was never
suggestive. He just seemed to have a lot of information about you.”

Colt
thought on that a moment, dropping his hands from her face and taking her hand
as they headed out of the park.  “He’s done his reconnaissance,” he said. “He
knows his enemy.”

“You’re
not his enemy.”

He cocked
an eyebrow at her. “Angel, the only reason he would tell you those things is to
drive you away from me.  I am absolutely his enemy. I have what he wants.”

She put
her arm around his waist.  “Well, he’s not going to get me,” she said firmly.
“I belong to you.”

He kissed
her forehead as they neared Pennsylvania Avenue. “I’m glad to hear that,” he
murmured. “But I will admit, I have been thinking very seriously on our run-in
with Meade.  Scott Dane aside, Meade’s the real issue right now and I think I’m
going to do something very drastic to counter-punch him.”