First Impressions: A Tale of Less Pride & Prejudice (Tales of Less Pride and Prejudice) (12 page)

Having managed to piece together who exactly Miss Elizabeth was believed to be attached to over breakfast, Mr. Collins found himself deeply conflicted. He consulted Mary and it was she who convinced him to request a conference with Mr. Darcy before sending a hasty and potentially unwelcome supplication to Lady Catherine, as had been his initial inclination.

The men were shown into Mr. Bennet’s library, that gentleman being busy on the grounds. “Mr. Darcy, let me begin by thanking you for the uncommon condescension you have shown in providing me with these moments of what, I am sure, is your invaluable time.” Mr. Darcy clenched his teeth. “The gesture reflects the thorough gentility of your character, as one would expect in a person of such illustrious lineage and as I have often had the privileged of observing in my honored patroness, your aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh.”

“
How can I assist you Mr. Collins?” Darcy cut in, hoping to hurry the man along. He was impatient to visit with Elizabeth, having brought a collection of new poetry to share, only just arrived from London, which he was certain she would enjoy.

Mr. Collins teetered from one foot to the other, apparently trying to find his tongue. Finally he croaked out the following, surprisingly straightforward declaration: “It has come to my attention sir, that there is an uncommon degree of intimacy perceived between yourself and my cousin, Miss Elizabeth Bennet.”

“
And?” Mr. Darcy demanded, indignantly wondering what gave the man the presumption to question his affairs.

Mr. Collins regained his fluency, “Please do not misunderstand me sir! It is not my intention to incur your displeasure, not a man of your status, but I am in such wretched conflict about what to do under the current circumstances! Furthermore, I have the utmost confidence that a gentleman of your caliber need offer only the briefest of explanations and my conscience will be thoroughly put at ease!”

Silently, for he was in high dudgeon, Darcy indicated that Mr. Collins should continue.

“
Having had the honor of being received frequently at Rosings, I have often heard Lady Catherine comment on your engagement to her daughter, Miss Anne de Bourgh,” Mr. Collins now spoke in an unusually quiet and subdued tone, fearful of how Mr. Darcy would respond. Ironically, that same fear allowed him to quickly recover something of his usual manner and continue before Mr. Darcy could say a word, “Please believe me sir that I have no wish to pry into your personal affairs, though I have often observed that it is the unique province of the clergyman, alone in society, to do just that. I am torn between loyalty to my patroness and my family, but have every confidence that you will provide a perfectly satisfactory account for what must be a mere misunderstanding, probably on my part, and will assure me most promptly that my concern has been misapplied.”

Darcy knew not what to think. Rather than anger with the obviously terrified man before him, he felt mostly pity, well deserved too, for his predicament. How dare Lady Catherine speak of an engagement publicly! It was well past time, regardless of any current matrimonial considerations he may have, that Darcy put an end to his aunt’s belief in those that would certainly never materialize. He would start by setting straight her rector, “I assure you, Mr. Collins, that my aunt misspoke regarding this matter. Neither my cousin Anne nor I desire such a match.” His words brought home that his complacency in this matter, having always avoided a verbal confrontation with his aunt and allowed her to continue in her false hopes, was not unlike the indolent policy Mr. Bennet pursued in the management of his family. A new wave of empathy for the man overcame Mr. Darcy. Like Mr. Bennet, he would strive to rectify his mistakes. This lazy approach had been nothing more than a disservice to all involved, most particularly his aunt.

As Darcy struggled with his emotions, Mr. Collins was tackling a bevy of his own conflicting conceptions, most prominently, “How could Lady Catherine, the great lady who displayed such unquestionable good sense in her promotion of me, be mistaken?” But Mr. Collins’ complex mind was able to willingly accept this astonishing possibility when he reflected that if Darcy were not engaged to Miss Anne de Bourgh, although why anyone would reject such a lady he could not fathom, it would be extraordinarily fortuitous if he married instead the sister of Mr. Collins’ very own, soon-to-be wife! Yet that idea too intimidated him, for who was to inform Lady Catherine of her mistake? Certainly not he! To be the bearer of such news! The mere idea turned his skin a sickly pallor.

“
Are you alright Mr. Collins?” Darcy inquired, upon he noticing the man’s strange hue.

“
Yes Mr. Darcy. Thank you sir; your consideration is most amiable. I am just concerned,” he coughed, “regarding what you have said, sir, that Lady Catherine will be most displeased by this account. I would not wish to cast doubt on the indubitable veracity of your word, sir, but I would be eternally sorry should your aunt be provoked unnecessarily. Please excuse me if, in my honest pursuit of clarity, I seem excessive, but you are quite certain that you have no intention of fulfilling your engagement to Miss De Bourgh?”

“
There is no engagement, Mr. Collins, but I will write to my aunt if that is your concern. In fact I shall do so forthwith. It is my responsibility to rectify the situation; I recognize my role in its creation.”

“
Oh no, Mr. Darcy, I am sure nothing you have ever done has caused the slightest discomfort to anyone,” Mr. Collins assured him, beginning to recover his color. “Your graciousness knows no bounds. I assured my dear Mary that you would have a reasonable explanation for the matter and that there was nothing to fear. Now you have proven me correct. How can I thank you enough Mr. Darcy? I shall so enjoy telling my noble patroness how excellent is her nephew, not that she would ever harbor a doubt otherwise. She has always spoken of you in the most excessively affectionate terms.”

“
You are welcome, Mr. Collins. If you will now excuse me.” Darcy hurried from the room in search of Elizabeth, anxious to escape the uncomfortable interview. Mr. Collins retreated to the music room to interrupt his betrothed’s vaunted practice with his good news. Mary would have liked to attend her music presently and thought briefly of reminding Mr. Collins what he had quoted to her regarding Lady Catherine’s belief in the importance of diligence. Instead she closed the pianoforte and entered graciously into Mr. Collins’ concerns, just as every tract she had ever read on the subject indicated a good wife should.

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While Mr. Darcy was suffering through his encounter with Mr. Collins, Mr. Bingley was happily ensconced at Jane Bennet’s side, listening to her mother babble on about wedding plans. She checked herself when Mr. Darcy entered the room, greeted him warmly but respectably, and calmly informed him that Elizabeth had not yet returned from her walk with Charlotte Lucas. Not wanting to intrude on a private conversation, he opted to wait with the Bennet family and Bingley rather than aimlessly seeking for the ladies on the grounds. It seemed an innocent decision when made but soon proved regrettable.

When he entered the room it was upon an apparent scene of peaceful domesticity, much like that he had enjoyed the evening before, but without Elizabeth’s presence to shield him the imbecility of the conversation was maddening. Never had he heard such extensive conversation about lace! Darcy marveled, for perhaps the thousandth time, at Bingley’s amiable forbearance of such nonsense. When Mr. Collins and Mary joined the gathering, the level of noise in the room grew to an unbearable crescendo. Lydia loudly demanded that Kitty give her a particular ribbon despite the fact that Mr. Collins was carrying on in his usual droning manner, as if constantly preaching a sermon. Mary smiled on him approvingly, which only encouraged the man, as he dwelt on the unfortunate brevity of his stay.

“
Believe me I feel it most acutely that I have only three days remaining to me in such felicitous company as I have discovered amongst my fair cousins, but the rector of a parish has much to occupy his time. Lady Catherine,” he paused to bow in Darcy’s direction, “is kind enough to allow me to visit with my relations, but now that I have such happy news to share, it seems clear that a week is all that I can reasonably be spared at this time. I must see to the tithes, in such a manner that both benefits me and offends not my benefactress, I must write my own sermons, and the time that remains is not too much for parish duties, the care and improvement of the parsonage. On the later score, I truly could not be excused if I did not make it as comfortable as possibly.” He turned directly towards Mary before continuing, “Lady Catherine has gone so far as to suggest many improvements. I trust you will find your future home perfectly amenable.” Again redirecting his discourse towards the entire room, so no one might be so unfortunate as to lose a detail, he proceeded to itemize all the improvements made, focusing at length on the practicality of closet shelves, but Darcy managed to block out most of this. In fact, since Mr. Collins had mentioned his time line for departure, he had heard nothing more. “Three days!” he groaned inwardly, wondering how he could continue to endure the man that long, when it occurred to him that his message to his aunt would best be delivered in person. Indeed, it ought to be dispatched immediately. If he left tomorrow, he could speak with Lady Catherine and be gone again before Mr. Collins returned to Hunsford. The time away from Longbourn would also provide an opportunity for much needed reflection.

This latter thought was lost as Elizabeth and Charlotte entered the room. “Mr. Darcy! What a pleasure it is to see you sir. I hope you have not been waiting long?” The ladies came directly to his side.

“
The pleasure is mine, Miss Elizabeth. Have no fear, for we arrived only a short while ago.” The warm smile cast in Darcy’s direction drove all thoughts of Rosings and those concerned with it from his mind, though he did manage a courteous, “Miss Lucas, good morning,” before losing himself completely in the joy of Elizabeth’s presence.

“
Good morning Mr. Darcy,” Charlotte replied, happily noting the connection between himself and her friend before turning her regard to the rest of the room. “Good morning Mr. Bingley. I only came in to ask if Kitty would care to accompany me back to the Lodge and call on my sister Maria. She has been wanting your advise on the gown she plans to trim afresh.”

“
Oh my! I entirely forgot with all that has transpired. May I Mama?”

“
Yes go child. We shall do very well without you. Lydia my dear, do come sit by me and tell us your opinion of these gowns. I think this style will suit Jane very well.” Were it not the very latest fashion plates she was called upon to survey, Lydia would quite possibly not have been so compliant.

“
I shall just be a moment.” Kitty curtsied before hastily departing. Elizabeth greeted Mr. Bingley before she and Charlotte seated themselves near Mr. Darcy, on the far side of the room from Mr. Collins. In spite of the resumed oration, they managed a quiet conversation.

“
I’m afraid such a pastime as this must have been most uninteresting to you, Mr. Darcy. Surely, you are up to date on all the latest fashions by now?” Elizabeth playfully got right to the heart of his feelings.

“
Indeed. I will be sure to share my vast expertise with my sister on her next trip to the modiste.”

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And she will undoubtedly appreciate your expert advice,” Charlotte dared to intrude on their flirtatious merriment. “As a sister, I can assure you that there is nothing less welcome than my brother’s opinion on ladies dresses.” They all laughed.

Kitty reappeared and Miss Lucas took her leave. Mrs. Bennet and Lydia were entirely engrossed in their activity, Mr. Bingley and Jane in each other. As Mr. Collins had finally taken it into his head to follow his future brother’s lead and focus his attentions on his intended, Elizabeth and Darcy were afforded some degree of privacy. Darcy summarized his conference with Mr. Collins and his plan to go to Rosings. Despite himself, he felt a bit pleased at her disappointment in his departure. In turn she recognized the compliment implied by his urgency to disabuse Lady Catherine of her faulty notions and could not prevent a flush of pleasure in the knowledge. She understood his present desire not to mention her to his aunt, trusting he knew how to correctly handle his relative. He had feared she would object to this measure and delighted in the confidence she displayed in him. If this wasn’t love, both were greatly deceived.

Chapter 15

At Netherfield a distracted Caroline Bingley paced the floors, feeling most put out by a second consecutive day of Darcy absenting himself in favor of the company at Longbourn. Occasionally she would stop to strum on the keys of the pianoforte discordantly, eventually causing her sister to flee from the room. Following one of these impromptu musical interludes, having shut the instrument with a snap of disgust, the butler interrupted her with the announcement that there was a visitor for Mr. Darcy. Upon learning he was not at home, the gentleman had insisted on waiting. The butler handed Miss Bingley a newly printed, elegant card, baring a name she did not recognize. The distraction was welcome and she ordered the man shown in. Pasting a more pleasant look upon her face, she picked up her neglected work and awaited the gentleman’s arrival.