First Love: A Superbundle Boxed Set of Seven New Adult Romances (156 page)

“Typical girl. Sucked in and distracted by something shiny.” He arches an amused eyebrow as he watches me pour in heaps of sugar and cream.

I stick my tongue out at him. “At least it’s cheaper than jewelry.”
 

“Jewelry lasts longer. And holds its value.” He plucks a glass from the overhead rack and retrieves his powdery shake mix.

I suddenly feel like we’re balancing on a tightrope between serious and banter and one wrong word will tumble us into uncharted territory without the benefit of a safety net.

“Oh, this thing is holding all kinds of value. It’s like having a personal barista.”

“So if I decide to keep you around forever, I should bring you coffee instead of a ring?”

Yup, definitely need that safety net. I’m ready to jump overboard and bail out of this conversation, but I hold my ground and try to keep my voice light even as my insides are quivering. “I never say no to coffee.”

“I’ll remember that,” Arion says, his eyes dancing. “Whenever you’re done overdosing on caffeine, let me know, and we can head out.”

“Out?” I hadn’t realized we were going anywhere today. I’d honestly expected him to be pretty busy with the bar.

“More shopping.” He flashes me a grin that I know he hoped would appear innocent, but all he manages is to look like a grinning hyena.
 

I can’t help laughing at his expression. “Oh, I do need conditioner. But no more clothes!”

“I am absolutely okay with shopping naked,” he says, deadpan. “Strip.” He juts his hip to the side with his opposite hand resting lazily across it as he scans the length of my body. His hazel eyes are hungry, and my heart falters.

“That’s not what I meant.” I strike out, trying to think of a comeback, and I swear I think my ears are burning off as I concentrate on my coffee as if it has suddenly grown wings.

He stirs powder into a glass of water, the spoon whirring as it scrapes the glass. “Fine, no clothes—today. But actually that wasn’t what I had in mind, anyway. I need to get you a new phone, and a laptop if you want one.”

The word phone echoes in my ear and I feel myself wobble, but it’s almost like I’m removed from it, observing. My muscles won’t obey, and it’s all I can manage to do to grip the edge of the counter. Fire is building in my chest, burning away my breath, and I’m sure I’m about to suffocate and die.
 

Not again. Not again.

Pinpricks of light are stabbing at my eyes, determined to blind me. The panic is so sudden, so all-consuming, all I can do is ride the tumultuous wave, praying it will wash me back onto the beach of sanity.

Arion’s hand is gripping me beneath my elbow to stabilize me even as the memory of Nick’s words shatters me.

“But I need a phone, Nick! What about classes and work and my mom?”

There’s no sympathy in his eyes, no compassion. Nothing of the man who first asked me out for dinner and dancing. He’s ripped the pretty packaging away, revealing the lion underneath. “Then I guess you shouldn’t have been phone-fucking another guy.”

Shame heats my cheeks, not because I feel guilty at his accusation but because I never thought I’d be this girl, knowing everything in her life has just taken a dangerous turn without knowing how to set it right. “I wasn’t phone-fucking anyone. Yes, we flirted before you, and we’re good friends. But we haven’t done anything like that since you and I got together.”

“He called you Angel. Sounds like a pet name to me.”

“That’s just my character name; it doesn’t mean what you think.”

Nick pulls my phone from his pocket, flips it open and then reads out loud from one of Arion’s old messages. “God, Angel, what U did last night blew my fkn mind.”

“That was about the game! We had an awesome win on our raid, and I was largely responsible for it.”

“You’re not talking to him anymore. I’ll get you a phone on my plan, that way I can be damn sure of who you are and aren’t talking to.”

“Give me my phone! Why are you being such an ass about this?”

Nick’s hand darts out, grabbing me by the hair. I will myself not to tremble as he drags me to the stainless steel sink. My furious reflection glares back while my hopes spiral the drain. My heart nearly leaps out of my chest as he leans to the side, tugging me off balance as he flips the switch for the garbage disposal. “Have it,” he whispers against my ear.

My fingers close around my phone as he thrusts it into my clammy palm. For a brief moment I wonder if I can manage to speed dial help, but I don’t think anyone would get to me in time. I need to just pacify him for now, let this blow over while I think and try to figure out a plan.

“Put it down the drain. Show me I’m the only one who matters to you.”

He can’t be serious, I think. Then his grip tightens on the back of my head, and I know he is. Tears are fighting to free themselves from my eyes as I open my fingers, letting my phone fall into the sink. If he sees them, he’ll think it is me crying over the loss of contact with Arion, and I know this will only get worse so I try my best to hold them in.
 

A stubborn tear slips out as the disposal crunches my phone and fear crunches my heart.

Nineteen

Arion

This is what it feels like to know you are completely helpless. Angel is shivering in my arms, her eyes are glassed over, and I don’t have a damn clue what to do. I’m so not ready to deal with shit like this, but what choice do I have? I can’t just leave her to struggle through this crap alone.

I realized what I said wrong the moment the words were out of my mouth, but by then it was too late. She just told me last night about him destroying her phone and buying her one on his plan as a way to control her. Then what do I do? Offer to do the same damn thing. Not my brightest moment.
 

She’s shivering so hard, I’m tempted to scoop her up and put her in front of the fireplace and turn it on, but I don’t actually think she’s cold so I just hold her firmly against my chest. Normally she seems small, but right now she feels almost tiny and frail. I know without a doubt she holds worlds of strength within her, I just wish I knew how to bring it out.
 

“I’m here. You’re safe,” I whisper into her hair, over and over, more to make myself feel better than anything. I don’t think she actually hears me, but I have to say or do
something.

I thought the shivers were bad, but then she goes still. Like statue, unmovable-stone still. It’s creepy as shit. When I lean back to look at her, I see her eyes are open, but they are glassed over, seeing nothing. I don’t know where she is, but it isn’t here with me. What horrors have I just made her relive?

I’ve dealt with Chelsea after bad breakups, waitresses on the rag, waitresses who are late for something far more important than work, and all kinds of emotional girl crap. Not a bit of it compares to this. Maybe I should call Chelsea, see if she knows what to do ’cause I sure as hell don’t.
 

A sudden impulse strikes, and at this point I figure I don’t have much to lose. Before I can chicken out, I lean down, brushing my lips against Angel’s. Softly at first, just letting our lips press together, hoping to give her some of my warmth. I’m waiting for any indication she feels me or knows I’m here. Anything.

She still isn’t moving, so I lightly nibble at her bottom lip, trying to nudge it open. I want so much to take the kiss further, to press onward and reassure myself that everything is going to be all right somehow, but Angel lets out a tiny gasp so I pull back.
 

Her eyes blink several times in fast succession, and then she peers up at me. “I’m so sorry,” our voices chime in unison.

“Hey, I told you, you don’t ever have to be sorry. And I’m the idiot who stuck his foot in his mouth.” I want to pull her back to me, but something in her eyes is telling me to keep away. Tension is hanging in the air, almost palpable between us, and I can’t help thinking she’s trying to sort herself out or get her bearings or something, so I give her space.

“You were trying to be nice.” Her hand comes up, touching her lips as if she can still feel my kiss there.

“Eh, they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions.” And right about now I truly think they might be right.

“It would be nice to call my mom and let her know I’m safe. A phone would be… I just don’t want to take any chances, and I don’t want to feel even more obligated to you.” Her eyes are achingly guarded and wary.

“It doesn’t make you obligated to me, Angel. Nothing else will either. I don’t want to take your free will or your control away from you. That’s actually why I wanted to get you a phone and a laptop. I want to give you back everything he stole from you, but the rest of what he took—I can’t buy that in a store.” It’s definitely easier to start with the stuff I can fix with money, but I won’t ever give up on trying to fix the rest of her that hurts, too.
 

I can see her wavering. “Do you want to borrow my phone to call your mom?”

She shakes her head vehemently. “No, I don’t want to call her from any number that can be traced to here or to me… or you.”

“A pay phone then?” I honestly think this is going a bit far; Nick would have to have some serious resources to trace things like phone numbers, but I’m not going to argue with her. If I need to go overboard to make her feel safe, I’ll do it in a heartbeat.

“Then that would narrow my location down, wouldn’t it?” Her wavering totters closer to agreeing. If I can just give her a tiny push in that direction I think she’ll go along with it.
 

“I tell you what. Vince and Dougie actually live over the state line in Jersey. It would be nice to go check on him, wish him well and whatnot. We can stop at a gas station before we head home and pick you up a disposable. That way you won’t be tied to me, you won’t be on my account. And it will have a different area code.” The words stick in my throat because if I’m being honest I do want to tie her to me. Now that she’s calmer, I go ahead and grab my protein shake from where I abandoned it on the counter, taking a big swallow. It isn’t exactly what I’d call good, but I’m used to it.

“Okay.”

“What about a laptop? I thought maybe while you were out at the farm you’d want to come back to the game. We could play together again, like we used to.” I hate the thought of her being at the farm instead of here with me, but I think her and I are both eager for something a little normal for us. At least I know I am.

Her eyes light up, telling me my hunch was right.
 

“I need to get a shower and change before we go,” she says.
 

I eye her and agree, only because I don’t want to have to beat the crap out of every guy who’d be checking her out. I have no idea why girls always think they don’t look good when they look relaxed, or when their hair is messy. To me her hair looked like she’d been fucked good and enjoyed herself, and that only makes me want to take her to bed more. I only wish it were from rolling between the sheets rather than from a night of crying in my arms. At least Angel doesn’t insist on wearing two hours’ worth of makeup to leave the house, so it isn’t long before we’re on our way.

Her hand feels small in mine as we stroll through the electronics department of a nearby store, but not too small. Just right, and I want it there always. Or almost always—I’ve got a few other places that I wouldn’t mind if she put it either.

I’m in the middle of paying and filling out the warranty form for her new laptop—and headset, external mouse, carrying case and surge protector—when my phone rings in my back pocket. “Can you grab that?” I ask her without turning around.

“Your phone?”

“Yes, unless you’d like to grab something else.” The cashier’s face is priceless, and I can’t see Angel’s but I’m betting it’s pretty great, too. I feel her fingers slide into my pocket, and then she’s trying to hand it to me. “Answer it,” I tell her.

“Hello?” She sounds timid, and it’s kind of cute.

“No, you’ve got it right, this is still his phone. He’s busy filling out some paperwork so he asked me to answer.”

“Who is it?” I ask, glancing back toward her.

Angel cups her hand over the receiver and mouths Chelsea’s name.

“Tell her I’ll call her back.”

“I’m sure that will be fine.” Angel’s nodding her head as if Chelsea can see her.

Wait, what will be fine? I move to grab the phone, and Angel turns her shoulder, blocking me.
 

“Is there anything else I can help you with?” The cashier asks in a clipped tone as she offers me my receipt and a contemptuous glare.
Whatever, honey,
I think. She’s exactly the type of girl I would have borrowed for a night of trying to forget Angel, and I’m positive she wouldn’t have been a hard score. But I don’t need that now. Not anymore. It bugs me that she’s looking at Angel like she’s cheap, and I can’t help myself.

“No, that’s all, thanks.” I fix her with my most charming smile and wink as I see her shoulders soften a little bit.
Too easy.

She’s eying Angel, probably deciding if she’s competition. “If you bring your car around, we can load the box for you.”

“That’ll be great,” I say, barely paying the cashier any mind. Instead, I slip my arm around Angel’s back with eyes only for her, making it clear there is no competition. I’m all hers.

Angel’s closing my phone and giving me a wary smile. “We’re supposed to pick her up in half an hour. Dougie called her and told her you were coming to visit Vince, and she wanted to know if she could snag a ride.”

I’m taking Angel
and
Chelsea into Jersey to see Vince? Thank God Dougie will be there for backup, because this is going to be interesting.

Twenty

Angel

I try not to laugh as we drive through the city toward Chelsea’s place. The way he keeps shifting around in his seat, tapping his hands against the wheel and sighing at every red light makes it look like he swallowed a can of Mexican jumping beans. He reminds me of a dog in a narrow run, bolting full speed ahead toward the gate, only to screech to a halt, jumping and panting and hoping someone will take pity and let him out.