Fit To Be Dead (An Aggie Mundeen Mystery Book 1) (22 page)

Thirty-Eight

Sam got in the car and slammed the door. “Agatha, you could have gotten yourself killed. You skipped out of your house, deceived poor Stanish, made that dog practically rip his pants off and raced off to the health club to confront a killer. Are you crazy?”

I resented that. I was curious and imaginative, but I was definitely not crazy and he knew it. I had to defend myself.

“Look. I knew Sheldon, Ned, Mickey, and Pete better than you did. They all hated me. Well, Pete just disliked me. I thought he had pushed me down the stairs. Now I know it was Linda.”

He shook his head and started the car.

“Anyway, I knew if I could make the men angry enough, the killer, whoever he was, would try again. I wasn’t sure about Harry. It was hard to imagine him killing the child he’d helped raise, no matter how badly she’d hurt him. Anyway, the men were all suspects, even if Linda, Patricia, Mindy, and Knobs had easier access to the women’s locker room.”

“Who are Patricia, Mindy, and Knobs?”

I ignored his question. “I was pretty sure that whoever killed Holly also tried to kill me. So I tormented Sheldon. Then I infuriated Ned. I gave Mickey the opportunity to do me in after Cardio Boot Camp. Mickey probably bragged to everybody at camp we were meeting at the pool, which might have alerted another suspect I hadn’t even considered.”

He looked over with an “I told you so” look and shook his head again.

“Linda knew I was going swimming with Mickey. When she went to the locker room, every woman there probably heard her tease me about it. I thought if I could be sure the equipment room housing the electrical panel stayed open, the person who tried to fry Holly in the water would be tempted to try again.”

“Well, you were right about that.” He drove so slowly, I was surprised people didn’t honk. His hair had plopped so low on his brow, it almost touched his glasses. I guess he hadn’t had time to get a haircut.

“Sometimes, Agatha, you wear me out.”

“You want to know the whole story, don’t you? I realized Sheldon was too self-absorbed to expend the effort to kill anybody. Poor Ned really loved Holly, even though she could never be as dedicated or as mature as he was. But he could never kill anyone. So that left Mickey, Pete, Harry, Sarah (who was actually Linda), Patricia, Mindy, and Knobs.”

“Who are...?”

“None of the women liked me, but I didn’t think they knew me well enough to want to kill me.”

He sighed as he turned up Burr Road. I was pretty tired myself.

He stopped his car in front of my house, looked directly at me and grabbed my hand. “I care about you, Aggie.”

I closed my eyes, gave thanks, and opened them. “I know. I care about you, too. I always have.”

“We need to have dinner—a nice, relaxed dinner somewhere.”

I gazed down at Grace’s clothes. I didn’t want to go on my first real date with Sam looking like a bag lady. I wanted to be sparkling clean, fresh and beautiful. And I needed to hide Lee’s bracelet in a more secure niche. I already felt younger.

“I can’t tell Grace yet,” I said.

“No. I’m afraid there’s more to it.”

I withdrew my hand. “More?”

“Remember my telling you that Grace’s first husband, Charlie Livermore, went after young girls when he got drunk?”

“Of course.”

“Anna, the neighbor, told us she thought Charlie went after Linda, too.”

“His own daughter?”

“I’m afraid so. Linda confided in Martha, Anna’s granddaughter. That’s probably what started all this. Charlie Livermore molested Linda. She couldn’t tell her mother, Grace. She thought her only option was to kill Charlie.”

“I thought he died in his car from the fire, after he’d passed out from alcohol.”

“He did. Kim told us he didn’t really want to go out that night. Linda talked him into putting on his wool and silk jacket and taking her to dinner.”

“Wait. As for the jacket, wasn’t it Kim and not Linda, who studied textiles?”

“Yes. That’s why it was significant when we found Linda’s prints all over that chapter of Kim’s book, the chapter describing deadly fumes produced by burning wool and silk.”

“Didn’t you tell me that foam and plastic in burning car seats produce cyanide gas?”

“I did. Linda undoubtedly knew it, too. She augmented her chances of killing Charlie with the combination of his burning jacket, the car seats, alcohol, and cigarettes.”

“You apparently obtained the girls’ textbooks after Elmore Moseley weaseled them away from Grace.” I huffed and looked out the window.

“Yes. Including Linda’s books on chemistry, pharmacy, and toxicology, and her computer ear-marking her favorite toxicology sites. The full name of the school where Linda applied is the University of Texas School of Pharmacy and Toxicology.”

“Toxicology. The study of drugs and poisons.”

“And how they contribute to a person’s aberrant behavior and death. Once we matched prints from Linda’s California office with prints on the girls’ books to make sure it was the same woman, we traced her whereabouts from California to San Antonio and went through Fit and Firm’s employee records. We got more prints from Sarah Savoy’s club locker. Just as we thought, they matched Linda Livermore’s prints.”

“How could you ever prove Linda murdered Charlie Livermore, given the combination of alcohol, fire and cyanide gas produced by burning seats?”

“We couldn’t. That’s why the ME deemed Charlie’s death accidental, even after an autopsy.”

“Would the ME find anything different now if he exhumed Charlie’s body?”

“No.”

“So there’s really no reason to tell Grace.”

“I guess there’s no reason.”

“I heard you accuse Linda Livermore of killing George Ball when he reneged on his and Grace’s plan to adopt Martha’s baby. Were you just fishing?”

“Not really. I think Linda did kill George Ball. I think she switched his pills after he nixed the adoption. I know he was excited about going hunting, but he wasn’t stupid. From what I learned about George, he would have carefully packed his pillbox. When he stayed up too late and drank too much, he got careless and didn’t check his pills. So Linda got her revenge.”

“She really is sick. How can I tell Grace her daughter is a serial poisoner?”

“You can’t. We can’t prove that Charlie Livermore’s or George Ball’s death were homicides. But we have a good chance of pinning Holly Holmgreen’s death on Linda. I think we can also prove Linda attempted to poison club members. SAPD is searching her San Antonio apartment and LA office. I’m sure they’ll find a trace of crushed mothballs and other poisonous substances marked with her fingerprints. They should also find physical evidence to tie her car to the one that hit Holly.”

“That’s bad enough. Poor Grace. We’ll keep it to ourselves? That Linda killed Grace’s two husbands?”

“We’ll keep it to ourselves. But you have to admit SAPD was right to be suspicious of the way Grace’s husbands kept dying.”

I looked at my lap and nodded.

“You know, Elmore Moseley is the best person Grace could have to comfort her,” he said.

“Why?”

“He’s worked in this business a long time. He understands, as much as anybody can, why some people feel compelled to commit murder. He’s comforted scores of victims’ families. He’ll know the best way to help Grace.”

“Grace is bound to find out he’s a veteran detective. The part about his snooping through the girls’ things and suspecting Grace—maybe we could keep that to ourselves too.”

“I think we can do that. I know Elmore will prefer to keep it quiet. He’s awfully fond of Grace.” He sighed. “I’ll try my best to comfort Harry Thorne.”

He gathered me in a hug. My emotions bounced from grieving for Grace and her daughter Kim to despising and pitying Linda Livermore; from feeling sorry for Holly and Ned and poor Harry, to loving Sam. I felt more wretched than a World War II refugee. I put my arms around his neck.

Had I really changed from the haphazard girl of eighteen he used to know? Steady and honorable, he deserved more than a girl like that. I was playful and curious, but I was pretty sure I’d managed to grow up. At least I recognized the differences in men. I’d learned to value qualities that mattered and to pray for guidance. I lifted my face to his and he kissed me.

People made mistakes. They suffered. They grew. Sam was just now learning to understand the pain women felt when they lost children, whatever the circumstances. For now, maybe that was enough.

He kissed me again before he eased me away.

“I have to go to headquarters. I need to make reports and question Linda about how she mashed and mixed mothballs to poison you and Holly. I have to make sure she didn’t concoct an additional little scheme, like stashing her brew all over the club. Why don’t I pick you up at seven?”

I smiled. “We won’t go to Tofu Temptations Grill?”

“No. Not to Tofu Temptations Grill.” He leaned over and kissed me, slower. Then he cupped my face in his hands. Before he got out of the car, he kissed me like he meant it.

When we walked up the sidewalk, Grace was standing on her porch. I crammed her aunt’s hat further down on my head. When she saw us, she doubled over laughing and went inside, holding her hand over her mouth so we wouldn’t hear. Before he followed her inside, Boffo barked and wagged his tail at me.

“I guess Grace wonders why I’m dressed like this.”

Sam winked at me, and I felt young. “I’ll see you at seven. I promise we won’t go to Tofu Temptations Grill or anywhere near the health club.”

He didn’t make promises very often. But I knew for certain that he kept the ones he made.

Thirty-Nine

I had a new, pressing reason to stay young. I decided to drag out old columns to find Dear Aggie’s best advice. I flipped through my file cabinet and checked categories: brain stimulation (chasing a killer took care of that), exercise (a fat file), diet (even fatter), workout clothes, hair products, skin products and makeup.

My brain had survived poison and accidents, I exercised regularly, and my diet had drastically improved once I learned to avoid Sheldon Snodgrass and Tofu Temptations Grill.

Since I had only a few hours before Sam picked me up, I decided to concentrate on skin, hair and makeup. I opened the skin file and grabbed a recent letter:

Dear Aggie,

Once I passed forty, my skin adopted a lusterless, close-to-ill look. I tried various make-ups brands, but they produced color blotches different from my natural hue, making me appear two-toned. I’m squeamish about facials. What do you recommend?

Pasty in Pittsburg

Dear Pasty,

I’m not big on massage products, but this one seems to work: handheld, battery-operated NuvoFace: “Massaged over face and neck, NuvoFace micro-currents lift and tone within minutes, reducing lines and wrinkles and lifting neck, brows and jowls.” The ad says to add Moisturizing Mist and Conductivity Cream, but I don’t recommend it. You might get startling results.

Pink, stimulated and happy,

Aggie

I had used NuvoFace. I shoved new batteries into the gadget and ran the device up and down my face and neck. In the bathroom, I retrieved my Abundant Hair Shampoo and Abundant Conditioner. Once my face was bright pink, I concentrated on reading hair product labels.

The shampoo would strengthen my new hair and add body to my old hair. The conditioner included vitamin B6, amino acids and botanicals (which I hoped didn’t include fertilizers). These products would increase my hair growth 125% in less than a month, making frequent haircuts mandatory. That was okay. I had time to get a haircut now that I wasn’t solving a murder.

I showered, shampooed and conditioned. When I
re-checked my files for makeup tips. I found this:

Dear Aggie,

I have fairly uniform features—big eyes, straight nose—but my ribbon-thin fish lips make me look cynical and mean. This unfortunate feature scares dating prospects. Any ideas?

Frustrated in Fresno with Fish Lips

Dear FF with FL,

You’ve probably considered having plastic surgery to puff your lips. Aggie knows these things. Hold off. You’re in luck. Try LipPuff. You apply it at bedtime and awake with “plump, firm, hydrated, SEXY lips.” You’re advised not to eat, drink or talk for awhile because your lips will plump continuously for hours. (Product advertisers accept no responsibility.) You might alert your doctor in case something else swells. Allow a full day for LipPuff to work before you go out. Your date will find you more appealing if you’re able to speak.

Aggie

After writing FF with FL, I’d actually bought LipPuff and tried it. My lips puffed beautifully. I think my face also acquired a few bulges. It was hard to tell with my eyes swollen shut.

I’d had to write an alert and retraction for my Dear Aggie column. The newspaper was not happy since I took up space on a non-column day. They got a lot of reader reaction, though.

Sam was due in a couple of hours. My hair was fluffed and shining and my face was pink, either from NuvoFace or anticipation. I skipped the LipPuff. Sam had suffered enough trauma. Besides, I wanted everything to feel perfectly natural in case he decided to kiss me again.