Fixer-Upper (Spinning Hills Romance 3) (23 page)

But as great as life seemed, Johnny now knew something was missing. No matter how hard and how endlessly he worked on anything he could put his mind to or get his hands on, he couldn’t fill the new hole in his life. The sense of a deeper connection to another soul had felt as if it had been within his grasp, but it never really had been and he had to accept that. It was like grieving, in a way. The toughest part was accepting there was nothing he could do to reverse the loss.

M
arissa covered her mouth with one hand. She read the message over, and over, and over again, as if reading it one more time would change the words and stop the nightmare that was slowly engulfing her.

Her breaths came out in short bursts. Finally, she set her phone down and looked across the dinner table at Brian, who was also reading over his messages. “Brian?” she said in a small voice.

He looked up.

“We can’t stay. I can’t stay. We have to leave. Now.” She took her napkin from her lap, placed it on the table, got up, and waited for Brian outside, pacing.

A few minutes later, Brian joined her. “Babe, what’s wrong? Why’d you leave like that? What happened?” He fired away the questions, concern lining his features.

“The grant. The eight-thousand-dollar grant we were counting on for the trip. It’s been revoked.” She started pacing again. “I don’t get it. Don said that once they’re approved by the committee, they’re signed off on by the CEO. Always.”

“Okay. Calm down, Marissa. We’ll figure this out. I thought someone had died or something.”

Marissa stopped short and turned to face him. “Calm down! Don’t you know what this means? Without that money, we can’t go! The kids can’t go.” Panic began to clutch at her chest, and she did her best to keep it together.

Brian took a quick look around, as if to make sure no one had heard her outburst, and Marissa began walking away.

“Marissa, stop. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. I was just relieved it wasn’t a real tragedy, that’s all,” Brian said when he caught up to her. He turned her around and hugged her to him. “But of course this is a big deal. I get it. And I’ll help you figure it out.”

“Just take me home.”

Brian led her to the valet and Marissa suddenly felt glaringly out of place. It was as if her two realities collided at that moment, and they didn’t fit. It was a great restaurant with great food she truly enjoyed. The chef was an artist, and the music and atmosphere were relaxing. It was a treat—but a treat she’d enjoy more if she ate there less often.

Most of the time, she’d rather be eating a sandwich at a noisy table, with noisy kids or a meddlesome family nearby. It was a silly thought on the surface, but there was a hint of more profound things she couldn’t deal with at the moment.

She climbed into the car, placed her face between her knees, and put her mind to work. She’d call local television stations and newspapers first thing tomorrow and try to get them to run the kids’ story and tell of their new plight. Then she’d set up an online funding campaign for the trip and e-mail everyone she’d ever known or met and beg for help. This was her fault. She’d tried to foresee everything . . . but
this
. This she’d been sure about. How stupid could she be?

And how callous were the people over at the Marconi and McNeely Foundation! To encourage them so enthusiastically, only to deny them two weeks before the trip! She’d let them know what she thought of their behavior, as soon as she was done trying to pick up the pieces.

“You’re not going to puke, are you?” Brian reached over to pat her head. His voice was filled with concern and she looked up.

“No. I’m only thinking.” But she started when she saw they weren’t heading home. “Where are we going? We’re headed to Cincinnati. You need to turn around. I need to go home. I need to call Amy and Johnny and Mrs. Simmons . . .”

Brian stared at her with wide eyes. “I booked a hotel for us tonight! Don’t you remember? That was the plan. We haven’t been alone together in ages. I’ll help you brainstorm ideas, and you can call everyone from the hotel to help you. You’ll need to relax after all this. Let me spoil you.”

Marissa swallowed hard and tried to look at it from Brian’s perspective. They hadn’t been together in ages. But she couldn’t, she just couldn’t. She looked over at him, suddenly feeling nauseous over things that had nothing to do with the trip. She knew beyond a doubt he wouldn’t be there for her the way she needed him to be there for her tonight. It wasn’t about them, but at some point, somehow, he’d try to make it about them. It was exactly what she’d always loved about him. He would never let her get lost in other people’s problems and other people’s lives.

But these kids were part of her life, and Brian hadn’t even met them yet. He wouldn’t get it. He’d try to help, but from the outside looking in, to keep her happy . . . because
he
needed her to be happy.

Marissa had never felt so confused and ungenerous in her entire life.

She started to cry. “I’m sorry, Brian, I really am. I know you want to help, in your own way, but I need to go
home
.”

Brian made a sudden right turn at the next exit, and soon they were heading home. Not another word was said between them. It looked as if Brian wanted to say something. It felt as if he was upset. But he drove on in silence.

Marissa was only able to get ahold of Johnny and Abuela Rosa, but they both agreed to meet her at the Gypsy Fortune Café and Bakery.

When she and Brian got there half an hour later, a war council was well under way. Marty, Melinda, Sam and Cassie, and Ruby and Sherry were there, too.

“We’ve taken your ideas . . . and made them bigger!” Ruby told them the moment they entered.

Cassie ran up to hug her, pencil and pad in hand. She let go and began rattling off the plan. “Everyone has been assigned a task. Sam will get a permit to hold the musical this Friday here at Star Springs Park, Johnny will call a contact at the news station—”

“A girl he used to date,” Melinda interrupted, and smiled flirtatiously at Johnny. A new stab of unpleasantness hit Marissa on top of the anxiety she already was trying to keep under control.

Cassie smiled, but continued to read off her list. “I’ll set up the online funding campaign. The café will sell early bird tickets, and Ruby, Sherry, and Rosa will man the ticket booth this Friday. And Marty, Sam, and Johnny can work on getting the stage we usually use for the Christmas Eve Festival set up.”

Johnny walked up to them and shook hands with Brian before looking down at Marissa. His expression was unreadable. “You, Amy, and I will get the hard part tomorrow. We’re going to have to break it to the kids, while keeping them realistically optimistic.”

“Realistically optimistic?” she repeated.

Johnny nodded and moved away to join Marty and Sam, to work out a schedule for working on the stage.

“Is there anything I can do?” Brian asked.

Marty looked up. “Keep Marissa from draining her bank account to bankroll this herself.”

Brian gave her an alarmed glance, and Marissa looked away. They’d raised only a little over two thousand dollars so far. They’d need about eight thousand more for the trip. But her own savings didn’t amount to much, because she and Brian had opened a joint account to save for a down payment on a home. A home they hadn’t even been able to agree on. They’d be leasing instead.

“And all of us can e-mail an invitation to the musical and a link to the online campaign to everyone we know in the region,” Johnny said.

“Sure thing,” Brian said, before clearing his throat. “I do suggest you keep Marconi and McNeely’s name out of this, though. If denying the grant was within their rights, and they get a bad rap over this, you could endanger future grants to other schools.”

Marissa scoffed. “We won’t mention them ’cause the creeps would probably see fit to sue us for defamation or something, but I am personally going to give them a big and nasty piece of my mind. They were within their rights, but it was a crummy thing to do!”

 

On Monday, they ran into a huge snag. The kids and their parents were devastated, but many of the parents wouldn’t allow their kids to be interviewed or seen on TV. It took Marissa only a moment to understand why, and an hour to get over feeling like an idiot. The families whose legal status in the country was questionable didn’t want to call attention to their children. Performing far away in a fair was one thing, but being interviewed and photographed by local media outlets was quite another.

“I feel like the nation’s dumbest ELL teacher,” Marissa said when the staff gathered behind closed doors. “I was picturing their inspirational story moving people into donating, but they’re right to be wary.”

Johnny scrubbed his face. “You’re not alone. But let’s try not to beat ourselves up. We leave politics at the door here, and so we forget, but there’s another world outside these walls.”

“We can still hold the musical at Star Springs Park, we’ll just need to promote it by word of mouth,” Amy said.

Friday rolled around and they had a full house. Or rather, a full park. The kids were fantastic. They’d grown not only in their language skills, but in their confidence. They received a standing ovation.

But the donations had been counted, and it still wasn’t enough. They were four thousand, six hundred dollars short. What else could she do? There was only one thing more she could think of...

Amy went on to the stage then, and the smile on her face was so big, it gave Marissa pause. “We have an announcement to make. Thanks to all your donations, and two very generous, anonymous donations, we’ve met our goal!”

A loud, screeching
whoop
went out, and it took Marissa a moment to notice it had come from her own mouth. Everyone turned to look her way, but for once, Marissa didn’t care that all eyes were on her. Then everyone began shouting, yelling, and jumping, and Marissa ran around hugging everyone she could find, whether she knew them or not. In five days, they’d be on their way!

Johnny found her then, and he picked her up and spun her around in circles. Marissa laughed. “We did it!” he shouted. Something had shifted between her and Johnny ever since the wedding. But right now, they were happy and free.

Until a voice called to them from a distance. “Hey, put my fiancée down,” Brian shouted, his tone friendly. But Johnny immediately set her down.

“I’m sorry I’m late. I left as soon as I could. I gather you have good news?” Brian looked down at her. His eyes were shining so bright, and he looked so happy and relieved. Marissa nodded. “Will I meet the kids today?”

Marissa nodded again and led him over to where the kids were. The excited chatter stopped and they all eyed Brian, looks of intense curiosity in their eyes. “Hey, kids, this is Brian. Brian, these are the kids!” Marissa forced a smile. She felt like a game show hostess. Brian smiled and shook hands and said all the right things, but he wasn’t really interested in getting to know the kids . . . and the kids knew it. Marissa saw it all.

Her two worlds had collided, but they didn’t fit. They never would.

The introductions and pleasantries were over with, and everyone knew there was nothing much to say. Amy and her husband, Frank, greeted Brian, and they spoke for a while about this and that. Chitchat. Small talk. Brian looked over at her, said, “Well,” and Marissa knew it was over. That was usually the signal between couples, to say it was time to go. She did it, too, whenever she was with Brian’s friends and coworkers.

“This is the last time I have to drive down.” Brian kissed her head as he began leading her away. “We’ll be moving into our new home next Sunday, and I’ll always be here for you.”

“Did you like the kids?”

“Yeah, they’re great. You can tell they’re enjoying themselves.”

Marissa looked down at the ground as they walked. “You did seem really happy we met our goal.”

“Of course I am, Marissa.” He stopped and made her look up at him. There was a questioning look in his eyes. “When people truly want something, they make it happen. I never doubted you would reach your goal. You know that, right? I knew you’d find a way.” His gaze was earnest and sincere, as if he needed her to understand.

 

Johnny was searching the crowd for his brothers when he caught a charged, tender moment between Brian and Marissa. The loaded moment knocked him off guard. Feeling someone’s eyes on him, he looked up and locked gazes with Amy, who gave him a soft, sad smile that told him she knew.

His mom’s voice interrupted the moment and Johnny was grateful. He needed some tough love, and his mom dished it out better than most. “I enjoyed that very much, Johnny,” his mom said, then sighed a little sigh.

“Then why do you sound so disappointed?”

“I’m not. I’m proud. I just see how it’s going to be. This is the life you want . . .”

Johnny hooked his arm around her shoulder and smiled despite himself. “But it’s not the life you wanted for me,” he finished.

His mom adjusted his arm so it wouldn’t mess up her hair, but she didn’t remove it. “Of course not. But it helps to be able to share in, and enjoy your work. It happens once in a while with Sam, too. I wanted him to be a big-shot architect. He has it in him, you know. But he wanted to stay here and save the town, thirty-four houses at a time.” Another sigh. “When I see his houses, though, I feel more at peace with his choices.”

“So you felt at peace with my choice tonight?”

Marianne shrugged and he knew she was close to coming to terms with it. But a moment later, she frowned and said, “Here comes Marty. He and his family always take you away from me.”

Johnny laughed at that. His mom used to always say that about any family that invited him or Sam anywhere. He hadn’t heard it in a while. But he thought of the look he’d caught between Marissa and Brian again. “No one can take anyone away from you. If someone doesn’t want to be with you, it’s their choice, and you have to accept it.” His mom looked up, surprised, and Johnny realized what he’d said. He felt his own eyes widen.

He wasn’t talking about them, but the words fit. Sam and Johnny had never liked being at home because Dan didn’t feel welcome there by their mom. The three of them spent their days running all over town, getting up to fun, and sometimes, no good. But he hadn’t meant to hurt his mom’s feelings.