Flame Thrower (9 page)

Her body stiffened immediately. “Where were you?” she pleaded. “You promised to protect me!” Tillian released a heartbreaking sob and babbled through her tears that fell from her closed eyes. “You left me alone with them and didn’t come back! That wasn’t the agreement, so where were you?”

When she spoke this accusation, Ryan suddenly understood her disbelief when he himself said he wouldn’t leave. Her distrust was rooted from experience, not emotional instability.

Ryan tightened his hold on her and whispered into her ear. “They were cleverer than I and outwitted me. Where did they take you, sister?”

In a tortured whisper, “I don’t know.” Tillian quickly became hysterical and it broke Ryan’s heart to hear the despair in each sound she uttered. “We rode on horseback a very long time. I was blindfolded and turned around, so I couldn’t figure out which way we rode. From there it was days and days of travel in a carriage. I think they drove us around in circles to confuse me. It worked. They never let me see outside.” Tillian allowed her tears to spill down her cheeks to form a wet spot on Ryan’s chest where her face rested.

He resisted offering any comfort by touching her face, afraid it would wake her up. He desperately wanted her to finish this dream, but he hated her being this distraught. It bordered on cruel and he would only allow it up to the point he learned all there was to know. This was the information that would cement his decision not to return her to Irfan. He already knew he wasn’t going to do that anyway, but he needed proof.

“Shhhh. You’re safe now, Tillian. I found you.” Ryan chanced a kiss against the top of her head, causing her to sigh. “They can’t get you now.”

“Where were you?” she whimpered again. “You left me alone with them, and they hurt me, Gareth. You were supposed to make sure they didn’t hurt me.”

Ryan’s blood boiled. Gareth knew and Gareth allowed her to come to harm? “I’m so sorry about that. Can you tell me what they did to you?” Ryan cringed in preparation for this answer.

She didn’t respond at first, so he thought she had slipped back into sleep when her quiet voice startled him. “They tied me naked so my arms were behind me. All three of them took turns, Gareth, they used me...often...and laughed while they did it. There were even times all three used me at the same time.” A pause. “Where were you?” Again she sobbed. “It wasn’t the agreement to be left alone with them, but you did! How could you do that to me?”

Ryan now had a name to attach to his hunt. He’d find a way and would give Gareth equal punishment for the agony he was hearing in Tillian’s voice. Not only that, Ryan had a sister. He couldn’t envision ever doing something like this to her. Sisters were to be cherished, not pawned off as whores. “Shhh.”

“This wasn’t what Father meant, was it? Am I to become a whore now?”

He felt her shudder again, fanning his fury. Irfan allowed this to happen? That bastard of a king was responsible.

“Tillian, I only left you alone for a moment because it seemed safe; they weren’t meant to hurt you,” Ryan added, to try and calm her down.

“They did.” She sobbed again and a new wet spot appeared on his shirt where her face shifted in her movements. “They ruined me, Gareth. Father too. What am I to do now? I’m equal to a wench and my innocence stolen. I’ll never find a husband and so what is left for me? Is this what Father wanted? Is it?” She choked on her tears and that sound broke the eerie stillness of the room.

“I want to avenge you but I can’t recall their names. Tell me again who took you.” Ryan attempted to get her to divulge this critical information. He was desperate to add to the list of people who would feel his wrath.

“I’ll not ever utter their names. I vowed to never say them from my lips ever again.” She sneered in anger.

“Shhh, it’s all right.” He rocked her gently and stroked her head with his free hand. “ Did they give you those lashes?” he whispered close to her ear. He knew her brother would not be holding her like this, but he couldn’t resist touching her in comfort. He hoped her mind had not connected that she was being held intimately instead of just having a conversation with Gareth.

“You shouldn’t have to ask me that, Gareth. You were there when Father delivered each one when I refused to be his whore for coin to help the crown. Remember? You defended me so valiantly and cared for my wounds later.” Tillian’s voice drifted, indicating she was about to slip back into deep sleep. Ryan chanced another question before it was too late.

“Do you want to come home, Tillian? To our Father?” Ryan anxiously awaited her response.

“No. I would miss you though, but if there was a way to be away from his control, I would take it. He cares not for me other than I’m a vessel for his friends’ enjoyment and making extra coin for gambling.” She gulped a sob back. “I know I must be strong, but Gareth...”

“Shhh, it’s okay to be weak every once in awhile. I’m here to take care of you, so you don’t need to be strong right now. Let go,” he urged her subconscious and watched when her mind descended back into the depths of sleep and pulled with it her voice.

Ryan was beyond furious. He felt heat from his uncontrolled magic when it instantly appeared, but he focused that magic into the hearth and it caused the dying fire to erupt. If he wasn’t careful, he’d burn Tillian. Taking a deep breath, he tried to regain control in order to work through this without burning this place to cinders.

Her own family put her into this position. Her own Father! That bastard deserved a thousand years of torment for all his crimes, but this one, this one was personal. All for what? Guilty pleasures. He used his daughter like a tool and it made Ryan’s skin itch with violent fury.

Feeling her warmth stretched out against the length of his body felt right, so he hugged her tight and knew she’d never leave his side-ever. No, he would find a way to deny Irfan his daughter that he so callously abused. She was not common bred. Tillian wasn’t going back to Folkyn and if it meant starting a war over it, then so be it.

He waited until he was convinced she was asleep and shifted a bit to get a little more comfortable on the bed. It allowed him to tuck his arm behind his head because he was wide awake now. He used this time to think, to plan. Wallace wanted him to make a decision, well, he had. Tillian still snuggled against him on her side using his chest as a pillow. When he shifted, the motion disturbed her and caused her to shift her arm that was draped across his stomach. She moved it just above his throbbing groin and Ryan froze. She moved her hand again, almost in a caress that grazed his erection.

“Tillian?” he quietly called.

“Mmm?” she mumbled in response.

Ryan tried to look down at her but it was now dark in the cabin and he couldn’t see if her eyes were open or not. “Are you awake?”

“Mmm.” Then he felt her tense. “Who’s there?” she quickly asked.

“It’s just me, Ryan.” He still had not moved for fear of breaking the moment. He rather enjoyed having her draped over his chest like this.

“Ryan,” she sighed. “That’s right...I’m safe...safe...” she whispered as her mind again drifted off to sleep. Very quietly under her breath, she began to mumble but the words were too quiet for him to make them out. He deduced she once again fell into a dream, but this one more relaxed.

Her mind wasn’t relaxed, for she was launched into a dream regarding the handsome blond man who saved her from her hell. Her hand began to roam over his lower abdomen and caressed his rippled stomach muscles like she was smoothing a sheet.

The caress was so delicate and tender that it awoke the most primal urges deep within and he became very aroused. Each sweep of her fingers across his flesh sent his muscles twitching and caused his pulse to increase. It didn’t take long until his breathing became labored. He bit his tongue in an effort to not cry out, for she was tormenting him.

Ryan groaned when Tillian’s hand grazed his erection. Whatever dream she currently saw in her head made him jealous, for this was not an innocent touch. It was the touch of a woman who stroked the man she loved. He tried to control an urge to flip her over and kiss her soundly because he wanted that man to be him. He illogically convinced himself it was, since he was the last person she thought of before she fell back asleep.

“Tillian.” He nudged her. If he didn’t wake her up, he’d do something he regretted by inadvertently forcing his attentions on her. That was not his aim, but her attentions sparked a fire that he feared he wouldn’t be able to put out.

“Tillian, wake up,” he said more urgently.

“Wh-what?” her groggy voice answered him. She realized what she’d been doing and her body tensed when she froze motionless. “I’m so sorry, Ryan.” Tillian removed her hand and rolled off his chest to lie on her back, staring at the ceiling. Her mind whirled with conflicting thoughts of desire and disgrace, very grateful for the darkness so he couldn’t see. She couldn’t believe she’d done this. She’d been having the most erotic dream of being intimate with him and she woke to find she’d been acting it out! It was humiliating to say the least.

He laughed though. “I’m not complaining, but I was afraid I’d do something in response that you may not appreciate. Because of that, I needed to wake you.” He rolled onto his side to better see into her face.

Tillian’s head turned when he did. “What would you have done?”

Ryan smiled in the darkness, but decided to take a chance. “I would have kissed you.” He then waited for her response which spanned a long painful silence.

“Do you still want to kiss me?” she inquired tentatively. She felt a moment of panic at the suggestion of intimacy. She then recalled that Ryan wasn’t one of the men and Ryan wasn’t here to harm her.

“Yes, I do. I’m going to leave this bed now. If I don’t, I may fall to my weakness and do just that. You are quite beautiful, Tillian, and I find it harder and harder to resist your charms.” Ryan decided honesty was the best course to take if he was going to get Tillian to trust him enough to heal.

She listened to his answer but couldn’t reply. She lay there with fearful thoughts running through her head. Her gaze sought to trace his features in the darkness and could only make out his blond hair that seemed to glow in the fading firelight. Her thoughts were not around his kiss any longer. At the mention of him leaving this bed, it raised such panic that Tillian couldn’t even speak. Finally she rolled towards him and tentatively touched his face with shaking fingers, her mind decided. “Stay.”

Ryan growled and pulled her close, pressing his now painful erection into her thigh to show her the effect she had on his body. “This is not very smart. I’m attracted to you to a level I have no words for. If I stay...” He dipped his head in the darkness and she felt the motion because her hand still cupped his cheek. “If I stay, I’ll be tempted to do more than just a kiss.” When he leaned back, he added, “I need to leave.”

“Stay,” she said again and moved to push up on her elbow, closer to his lips. “Please,” she begged.

He made a tortured sound in the back of his throat and he moved in a flash. His lips found hers unerringly and he pushed her back onto the mattress with his insistent caress. Tillian yelped at the suddenness of his attention, but quickly relaxed against his gentle lips and allowed Ryan to show her what he’d been holding back.

Ryan felt he was going to explode the moment his lips touched hers. Then again when she allowed his probing tongue into her depths and he tasted the perfection she had to offer. He rolled on top of her, now pressing the length of his body against hers and passionately kissed her with such force that he practically sucked the air from her lungs. In the back of his mind, he marveled that she returned the same level of passion after all she’d been through.

While they were tangled in the kiss, Tillian’s hand wove into his hair, grasping in a painful grip while the other wound around his neck. They were closely connected in their embrace that it was hard to discern, like a knot. He only ceased when he felt her hand move to his chest and push up a little, indicating he needed to stop.

“I need air,” she laughed but her hand continued to rub along his neck and shoulder.

Ryan rested his forehead on hers, and sighed. “I’m sorry. I knew once I started it was going to take an army to stop me.” His voice shook and his passion winded him. He felt his entire body shaking from his need to have her, but he resisted. A part of him felt no better than the men who raped her, but he couldn’t help himself. Now he feared she’d reject him and send him away.

“I just need air, Ryan,” Tillian confirmed and pulled him close again to touch her lips tentatively on his. This turned into another deep kiss that had them both panting until they broke apart a little later. Upon feeling her lips, Ryan ground his hips against her seductively. It left no question as to what he wanted. When she returned the caress, he released a primitive growl that vibrated into her mouth in response. It was too much. He broke the kiss and leaned back to look into her desire filled eyes.

“Tillian, I can’t do this with you now. I need to get up to start that fire and separate from your warm body for a moment,” he said in between trying to catch his breath.

She chuckled softly but relaxed into the pillows to run her fingers through her hair and stretch. Ryan watched transfixed. His gaze drank in her body when it lengthened into that stretch and felt his own twitch in response. His need soared to a new level and he quickly rolled away from her. In one smooth motion, he exited the bed and trembled before the hearth. He didn’t move until his breathing once more was under control and it felt like eternity.