Authors: Jill Shalvis
As it was, they couldn't do much more than glance at each other, because between the multitude of calls, they still had the maintaining and keeping up of the station and vehicles, not to mention their required physical training.
But he did glance at her.
Plenty.
And she glanced back. She appeared to hold up under pressure extremely well; even when everyone else looked hot, sweaty and irritated, she never did. Look sweaty and irritated, that is.
Hot? That she most definitely looked.
It'd been a long time since he'd flirted so slowly with a woman like this, over days, mostly without words. A very long time, and he'd forgotten how arousing it could be. He figured if they had to pass each other one more time without taking it to the next stepâand he had plenty of ideas on what that next step should be, all involving touching and stripping and nakedness, lots of nakednessâthey'd both go up in flames.
One late afternoon a week and a half into Brooke's employment, he headed toward her to see about that whole thing, but of course, the bell rang.
It was a kitchen fire, with a man down. Zach and Aidan were first on scene, with Dustin and Brooke pulling in right behind them in front of a small house that sat on a high bluff overlooking the ocean. By the time they got inside, the fire had been extinguished by the supposedly downed man himself, who was breathing like a lunatic and looked to be in the throes of a panic attack. Zach and Aidan checked to make sure the doused fire couldn't flare up and then began mop-up while Dustin tried to get the guy to sit, but he wasn't having it.
“No.” Chest heaving, covered in soot, he pointed at Brooke. “I want her. The chick paramedic.”
Everyone looked at Brooke. For some reason, she looked at Zach. He wanted to think it was because they'd been looking at each other silently for days, building an odd sense of anticipation forâ¦something, but probably it was simply that he'd been the first person she'd met here.
“I'm an EMT,” she told the victim. “Not a paramedic.”
“I don't care.” The guy was gasping for air, clutching at his chest. “It's you or nothing.”
Â
H
ER OR NOTHING
. Brooke could honestly say that she'd never heard that sentence before, at least directed at her. She looked at the crew around her, all of whom were looking at her, perfectly willing and accepting of her taking over.
And in that moment, she knew. They might tease her and call her New Hire, but the truth was, they treated her as a part of their team, a capable, smart part of their team, and she appreciated that. “What's your name?”
“Carl.”
“Okay, Carl. Let's sit.”
“I'm better standing. Listen, I was just cooking eggs, but then the pan caught fire.”
“It's okay,” Brooke assured him. “The fire's out now. Let's worry about you.”
“I have a problem.”
Yes, he did. He was pale, clammy and sweating profusely. “Let's work on that problem.”
“It's, uh, a big one. It won't go away.” Still breathing heavy, the guy looked down at his fly. “If you know what I mean.”
Everyone stopped working on the kitchen mop-up and looked at the guy's zipper, and Brooke did the same.
He was erect.
She glanced at the guys. Dustin pushed up his glasses. Aidan busied himself with the cleanup. Zach rubbed his jaw and met Brooke's gaze, his own saying that he'd seen it all, but not this.
Carl shoved his fingers through his hair, still trying to catch his breath. “See, I was supposed to have this hot date last night, but Mr. Winky wasn't working. So I took a vitamin V.”
“Vitamin V?” Brooke pulled out a chair and firmly but gently pressed him into it. “What's vitamin V?”
“Viagra.”
Brooke processed that information while Carl stared down at his lap with a mixture of pride and bafflement. “It worked, too. A little too well.”
“Okay.” Brooke opened her bag and began to check his vitals, carefully not looking at the guy's zipper again.
“Soâ¦can you fix this? I've never had a twelve-hour case of blue balls before. Could itâ¦kill me?”
“No one's dying today.” Behind her, Dustin was checking in with the hospital, as was protocol. From the victim she took the basics: name, age, weight, etc. Dustin set down his radio and turned to her. “We have a few questions.”
“Not you,” Carl said, shaking his head.
“Her.”
“Right.” Dustin wrote something down and pushed the piece of paper toward Brooke. It was the questions the E.R. doctor wanted answered. She paused, tucking a nonexistent stray piece of hair behind her ear while she tried to figure out how to do this and keep Carl's dignity, not to mention her own. “Carl? How many Viagras did you take?”
“Oh. Um.” He looked away, catching Aidan's and Zach's eye. “Just the one.”
Brooke gave him a long look. She was not a pushover, not even close. “One?”
“Okay, two.”
“Are you sure?”
Mr. Vitamin V caved. “Four. Okay? I took four. I really wanted to do this.” Still breathing unsteadily, he put his hand on his heart. “Am I going to have a heart attack? Because I feel like I'm having a heart attack.”
Brooke was waiting on Dustin, who was talking to the E.R. about the four pills. “Just hang tight for a second.”
“Hanging tight. Or at least my boys are.” He smiled feebly at his joke. “Do I have to go to the hospital?”
“Finding that out now.” She did her best not to squirm, extremely aware of all the eyes on her, especially Zach's, as Dustin gave her another piece of paper, which she read.
Oh, boy.
“Carl, when did you last have sex?”
Carl blinked. “When did I last have sex? Are you kidding me? That's why I took the pills in the first place!”
Again Brooke accidentally met Zach's gaze. He was cool, calm, and not showing a thing, but she felt her own face heat. If she had to answer this question, she'd have to admit that she couldn't even remember. “We need to know when you last ejaculated.”
“Oh.” Carl let out a long breath. “Jesus. Yesterday. In the shower.”
Nodding, she made the note.
“Twice.”
Brooke dropped her pen.
“That's normal, right?” He looked at Aidan, Dustin and then Zach for affirmation. “Back me up here, guys. It's just what we do, right?”
Aidan got really busy, fast.
Dustin scribbled on his notepad.
Zach just raised a brow.
“Damn it!” Carl slapped his hands on the table. “Don't you guys leave me out here hanging alone! Tell her.”
Dustin sighed, then after a hesitation, nodded.
Aidan, too.
Brooke looked at Zach, who met her gaze evenly, not looking away, neither embarrassed nor self-conscious as he nodded, as well.
Carl was waiting for her next question, but she couldn't stop staring at Zach, couldn't stop picturing himâ
Oh, perfect. And here came the blush.
Dustin nudged her and she jumped, jerking her gaze off Zach.
“Really, it's what guys do,” Carl was still saying.
It was what guys did.
Drive her crazy.
They made the decision to transport, and while loading the patient in the small kitchen, Brooke bumped into Zach. She looked into his face, feeling hers heat, watching him smile as if he knew what she was thinking.
It's what guys doâ¦
She moved past him but their arms touched, and damn if she didn't feel her stomach quiver. Because their arms touched. How ridiculous was that? If he ever touched her in a sexual way, she'd probably come before he even got her clothes off.
“You okay?” he murmured. “You're looking at me funny.”
“Me?” Her voice was as high as Mickey Mouse. “No. Not at all.”
I was looking at you like I wanted to gobble you up for my next meal, that's all.
He cocked his head and studied her a moment. “Sure?”
“Sure.” Liar, liarâ¦
“H
EY
, N
EW
H
IRE
S
EVEN
,” Cristina said several days later, the next time she saw Brooke. “Any more Viagra calls?”
Brooke looked over as Firefighter Barbie entered the fire station living room grinning from ear to ear. “Brooke. My name is Brooke.”
“So. You ever have a patient with a perma-boner before?”
“No. That was a new one,” Brooke admitted.
“At least you didn't have to climb a tree to get to him, huh?”
“At least he was human.”
Cristina laughed and walked past Blake, who was on the computer, and affectionately rumpled his hair. “You get the message that your sister called?”
“Yep, thanks.”
“Kenzie sounds good. I saw her on
Entertainment Tonight
last night, she was being interviewed about being nominated for a daytime Emmy for her soap.”
“I taped it.”
“We still all having dinner tonight, right?”
“Yep.”
Brooke knew that they did that a lot, got together. All of them. They'd asked her to join them weeks ago, on her first night, but she had been anxious to get started packing up her grandma's house. Now that she'd been doing that for two weeks, she'd love to be included, but didn't know how to ask.
A lifelong problemânot knowing how to belong. But for the first time in her life, she wanted to. She didn't know if it was her grandmother's house with all that family history, or the way she yearned and burned for Zach at night, or just wanting more for herself from life, but she wanted to be a part of this team. A part of their family. At least for the month she had left. Then, when she did go, she'd have these memories. She'd have her own history to look back on and remember.
Cristina leaned over Blake's shoulder. “Got anything good today, Eeyore?”
Blake pulled open a drawer and held out a candy bar. “Careful,” he warned. “I rigged it. The person who eats that is going to turn sweet.”
“Not a chance.”
With a sigh, Blake went back to the computer.
Brooke headed into the garage to restock their rig as end-of-shift protocol dictated. And then, blessedly, she was off the clock. Stepping outside, she was immediately hit by a sucker punch to the low belly areaânot by the hot, salty summer air, but by good old-fashioned lust.
Zach stood on the bumper of the truck, hose in hand, leaning over his rig, squirting down the windows. Stripped to the waist, his skin glistened with a light sweat. She broke into a sweat, too, just from looking at him.
His back was sleek, smooth and sinewy, and improving the already fantastic view was the fact that his pants had slid low enough to once again reveal a strip of BVDs, blue today. His every muscle bunched and unbunched as he moved, hypnotizing her, fusing her to the spot. She didn't mean to keep staring, she really didn't, but was unable to help herself as she eyed his sun-streaked hair, his rock-solid and ready-for-action body, all corded bulk honed to a fine edge, topped with so much testosterone she could hardly breathe. He looked like the perennial surfer boy all grown upâand it hit her.
This might be more than a crush.
“If you come help, you can get a better view.”
Oh, for God's sake. She jerked her gaze off him and pretended to search her purse for her keys while silently berating herself. “I'm sorry, Iâ”
“Are you kidding? A pretty woman looks at me, and she's sorry?”
“I wasn't lookingâ”
Tossing aside his hose, he lithely hopped down from the rig and came closer, letting out that damn slow, sexy smile of his. “Anal, uptight
and
a liar?”
“Okay, so I was looking.” She crossed her arms and tried not to look at his chest but it was right in front of her, drawing her eyes. “But I didn't
want
to be looking.”
With a soft laugh, he turned the tables, letting his gaze slowly run over her, from her hair to her toes and then back up again, stopping at a few spots that happily leaped to hopeful attention.
“Stop it.” God, was that her voice, all cartoony-light and breathless? “What are you doing?”
“Looking,” he murmured, mocking her. “And I wanted to.”
“Okay, you know what? You need a damn shirt. And I'm going now.”
Leaning back against the rig, he smiled, and damn if it didn't short-circuit her wires. “Have anything special planned for your days off?” he asked. “Visiting friends, family?”
No. Fantasizing about youâ¦
Unacceptable answer. She'd be working on the house. The house that she was beginning to wish was hers in more than name, because being there reminded her of exactly how rootlessly she'd lived her life, and how much she'd like to change that. Going through decades of family history had brought it home for her. It was exhausting, almost gut-wrenching, but also exhilarating.
And honestly? Flirting with Zach was the same.
But no matter what the house represented to her, no matter what someone like Zach could represent to her, she still didn't know how to get there.
How to belong. “I don't have either friends or family here.”
“Everyone back East?”
She hated this part. Telling people about herself, getting unwanted sympathy. “My mother's in Ohio. I'm an only child. And I haven't made any friends here yet.”
He didn't dwell or give her any sympathy. “I thought we were friends.”
She gave him a look.
“Aren't we?”
“I don't know.”
“Let's do something, then, and you can decide.”
“I can't. I'm closing up my grandmother's house before it sells, and I've only got a month left in town.”
“You think you'll be able to leave Santa Rey without falling in love with it? Or the people?”
She looked into his eyes, wishing for a witty response. But the truth was, she fell a little bit more for her grandma's house every single night she slept there. “I don't know.”
“Do you know how you feel about surfing?”
“I'm pretty uncoordinated.”
“I'm a good teacher.”
Uh-huh. She bet he was.
“Come on, say yes. I'm betting you don't take enough downtime.”
“I take lots.”
He arched a brow, and she let out a breath. “Okay, so I don't.”
“Is that because you like to be so busy your head spins, or because you don't know how to relax?”
“Is there an option number three?”
“You work a stressful job.”
“So?”
“So⦔ He smiled. “Maybe you should let that hair down and just be wild and free once in a while.”
“Wild and free. Is that what you do?”
“When I can.”
She hadn't expected him to admit it, and she ran out of words, especially because he was still standing there with no shirt on.
“Not your thing, I take it,” he said. “Letting loose.”
“I've never thought about it.” Okay, she'd thought about it. “I'm not sure how toâ¦let loose,” she admitted, going to tuck her hair behind her ears. But he shifted closer and caught her fingers in his.
That electric current hummed between them. He looked at their joined hands and then into her eyes. “Maybe it's time to think about it,” he said silkily and stroked a finger over the tip of her ear, causing a long set of shivers to race down her spine. Then, with a look that singed her skin, he walked off.
She managed, barely, not to let her knees give and sit right there on the ground. He wanted her to relax? Ha! So not likely, and not just because he wound her up in ways she hadn't anticipated. Relaxing, getting wild and free, those were all alien concepts for her. No matter what her secret desires were, she had responsibilities, always had. She didn't have time for letting loose.
But, as he'd suggested, she thought about it. Thought about it as she drove homeâyes, she'd begun to think of her grandmother's house as homeâand she thought about it as she finished the attic. She thought about it, dreamed about it, fantasized about itâ¦
Ironically enough, in the pictures that chronicled her grandma's life, she saw plenty of evidence that her grandma had known how to relax, and be wild and free.
How was it her grandmother had never insisted on getting to see her only grandchild?
It made her sad. It made her feel alone. She had missed out on something, something she needed badly.
Affection.
A sense of belonging.
Love
.
Damn, enough with the self-pity. Having finished the attic, she moved down a floor to box up her grandmother's bedroom. There she made an even bigger find than picturesâher grandmother's diaries. Brooke stared down at one dated ten years back, the year she'd graduated from high school.
I tried calling my daughter today but she's changed her number. Probably long gone again on another of her moves. Of course she didn't think to let me know the new number, or where she's going.
She's still mad at me.
I really thought I was doing the right thing, telling her what I thought of her bohemian lifestyle and the shocking way she drags that child across the world for her own pleasure. I thought she needed to hear my opinion.
For years I thought that.
Now I know different. I know it's her life to live as she wants, and if I'd only arrived at this wisdom sooner, I wouldn't be alone now, with no one to belong to and no one to belong to me.
Brooke remembered that year. Her mother had gone after some guy to Alaska, and she'd entered junior college in Florida, feeling extremelyâ¦alone. Hugging the diary to her chest, she stared blindly out the window, wondering how different her life might have been if stubbornness hadn't been the number one trait in her grandmother's personalityâ¦
Or her mother's.
Or hersâ¦
Â
I
F ANYONE
had asked, Zach would have said he spent his days off surfing with Eddie and Sam, and replacing the brakes and transmission on his truck.
What he wouldn't have mentioned was how much time he spent thinking about Brooke. They most definitely had some sort of an attraction going on, one he wanted to explore. He wished she'd taken him up on spending some of their days off together. His weekend might have turned out differently if she had.
But with too much time to think, he'd gone over and over the Hill Street fire, the one he was so sure had been arson.
Tommy wouldn't give him any info. He and Tommy went way back to when Tommy had sat on the hiring board that had plucked Zach out of the academy, but the inspector wasn't playing favorites. Sharp as hell and a first-rate investigator, he was as overworked as the rest of them and frustrated at Zach's pressing the issue. All week his response had remained the same: “I'm working on it.”
Still, Zach found himself driving to the site, where he'd gotten an unhappy shock. Back on the night of the fire he'd only had three minutes before the chief had ordered everyone out, just long enough for him to catch sight of
two
points of origin. One in the kitchen beneath the sink, the other in the kid's bedroom inside a wire-mesh trash can.
But now the kid's bedroom had been cleaned, and there was no sight of the wire-mesh trash can or flash point marring the wall.
And no sign of an ongoing fire investigation.
What
didn't
shock Zach was finding Tommy waiting for him at the start of his next shift.
Tommy was a five-foot-three Latin man with a God complex compounded by short-man syndrome. Added to this, ever since his doctor had made him give up caffeine, he'd been wearing a permanent surly frown; now was no exception as he stalked up to Zach as he got out of his truck. “We need to talk.”
Zach shut his door without locking it. No one ever locked their doors in Santa Rey. “Still off caffeine, huh?”
“The Hill Street fire.”
Zach sighed. “What about it?”
“I just left the scene.”
“Okay.” Zach nodded and grabbed his gear bag out of the back of his truck. “So maybe you can tell me what happened to the second point of origin, the one I saw in the kid's bedroom the night of the fire.”
Tommy's jaw bunched. “The fire is out. Your job is done.”
Zach turned to look at him, and it was Tommy's turn to sigh. “We found the point of origin in the kitchen. Beneath the sink. There were rags near the cleaning chemicals, which ignited. The fire alarm was faulty and didn't go off. It wasn't called in by anyone in the house, but by an anonymous tip reporting smoke.”