Fledge (39 page)

"Oh," I manage to say after a few seconds of pause. "I had no idea."

"No, why would you, they've done nothing but try and keep us apart since you got here. I was lucky Lucan was so mad that day I found you in the conference room, otherwise he'd never have let me talk to you."

"Do you hate it here, Esta? Would you rather be on Earth?"

She pauses for a moment. "No."

"But?"

"But I have no say in anything, they just make all these decisions about me and that's the end of it. I have no say. I might as well be back in the Utopia, at least there they made me do something that I actually enjoyed, even if it was all bullshit brainwashing."

Wow, Esta and I have something in common. "So, if you could choose, you'd choose what, then?"

She thinks about it for a moment, her eyes looking out towards the preparations in the arena beyond the windows. "I just want to learn things, continue my life the way it was going on Earth. I just want to be allowed to read the avian books and stuff, I'm not asking that much." She looks up, her posture in a desperate plea for me to believe it's a small request. I do agree, the girl wants to read and study for fuck's sake. How hard could it be to let her do that?

She takes a deep breath and continues, "If I had a choice, I'd join Sefer Cluster. The scribes who study and preserve the mythology."

I laugh. "Really? Shit, I can't stand those stories myself. I'm so tired of all that bullshit."

She laughs with me. "We are so different." And then she stares into my face, seeing me. "I don't feel important, I feel like all they care about is you."

"Esta, I'm not even the one who can save them, you are! If I bring back the others, then it's all about you guys. I'll be a distant memory." Shit, why am I even having this conversation, there's not going to be any trip to Earth. I stand up and wait for her to stand as well. "I really wish I could stay and talk more, but I need to go find Ashur or Lucan. I'll put in a word for you, OK?"

She nods, her head still bowed. "Thanks for talking to me, Junco. I know it must be difficult after Isec's death to even look at me–"

I put my hand up to stop her. "Esta, I killed him, not you. Me. I cut off his head in the Seventh Battle – so stop, OK? It had nothing to do with you."

She looks into my eyes for truth and I look into hers for judgment. And then we both look away.

"OK," she says. "I know whatever happened, it must have been hard. It's hard, Junco. To live by their customs and rules when so much of it goes against our human nature. And even though I'm not technically human, you don't spend your whole life in a culture and not become one of them."

I nod and walk out in the hallway with her. Hard? That word doesn't even come close. Underneath I twist her words to fit my own life. I spent my whole life immersed in a culture that embraced me as a killer. And she's right. I'm one of them, now and forever.

I get in line for food in the cafeteria and take a look around as it moves forward slowly. Kush is on the far left side eating near some people I don't know. Sometimes I forget that he's from here and has a past complete with friends and history.

The 039 is on the far right with the 399. They take up three tables between them. I get to the food and start choosing things I've had before. I fill up a good portion of the tray and then thumb the biometrics at the end to charge it to whoever pay the bills for me when I do that.

After paying I stand there as people push past me for a minute. Both Kush and Ashur are looking at me, waiting to see where I sit. It feels like cadet school. I choose my team, obviously, then walk towards the guys and slip in next to Monk on the bench to create a buffer between myself and the 039.

"Junco, hey, uh, sorry we all barged in on you this morning." Monk shrugs. "We'll know better next time." He smiles and elbows me in the ribs.

"Doesn't bother me, Monk. You guys were the ones all freaked out about it." My eyes follow Ashur as he makes his way over towards us. He stops behind the guy sitting next to me, who takes the hint and gets up to leave. The rest of the table is suddenly on the move as well and within a few seconds, Ashur and I are alone.

I turn and look at him. "What?" The look in his eyes makes me turn away.

He sits down on the bench with his back to the table. "Why, Junco? You don't even like the guy."

I look down at my tray, my appetite gone. "That's not entirely true, Ashur. I like him well enough."

I can feel him shaking his head at me. "Enough to sleep with him? After seeing Tier last night?"

I let out a little laugh. "Obviously, the answer to that is yes." I look up at him to make sure this point sinks in. "Else I wouldn't have done it. The best thing about Kush is he's not a complicated guy. He's not my captain or the guy I'm trying to save from death. He's just a friend who's been there for me when I needed him. And last night I needed him and he was there."

Ashur leans his elbows back on the table and stretches out his legs, silent. I straddle the bench so I can see him better, then wait for him to look over at me again. "Sometimes, Ashur, you gotta just take what you want and stop thinking about it. That's what he did. And to be brutally honest, I'm glad, because if ever there was a night where I needed someone to want me like that, it was last night."

He nods his head and looks away. "I call that taking advantage of someone who's not really thinking clearly, but hey, you can tell yourself anything you want, Junco. You're the one who fucking fell for it."

I get up and grab my tray, dump it in the trash and head outside to find a place to smoke.

It's a small alcove built into the side of the building. I hide there and puff as I lean up against a pillar. Lucan appears, dressed in his overly formal suit, as per usual.

I look up at him. "What?"

He smiles. "I don't care who you sleep with, Junco. But you need to make a choice if you want to stay in the 039."

I just want him to go away and leave me alone, that's what I want. "I don't," I say quickly, "want to stay, I mean. I'll stay with Rache."

I look up to see how this hits him, but he's still smiling. "Probably a good idea."

It hurts, it really does.

"Great." I stomp out my cigar and walk off back to the Deliverance floor to find Kadian.

Chapter Forty-Three

The Deliverance floor is packed with bodies – fighters, reporters, and auxiliary people who do something, I'm sure, but I have no idea what. I see Kush and walk over to him. "Hey, you do the interview yet?"

"No, he's behind, says he want to interview us together."

I scowl. "Why? I might not know him that well, but Kadian is a schemer. He has a reason, probably knows we were together last night."

Kush just shrugs. "Yeah, probably. If it bothers you, we'll just say no."

It turns out it doesn't bother me enough to say no when Kadian's staff comes to get us. We do the interview together in a small room that looks down on the stage. Below us I see twenty-one prisoners stretched out in an X pattern as their arms, wings and legs are bound up and pulled taut with wires that attach to various pillars offstage. There are ten on the left side of the stage and ten on the right. In the middle, elevated from the rest, is Tier. The twenty-first offender, the traitor.

My eyes can't pull away once I realize what's going on and Kush has to lead me over to the chair, out of sight of the crucifixion scene below, in order to snap me out of it.

"Junco, how does it feel to see Tier up there as a Deliverance offering?"

I look over at Kadian, hating him for doing this to me. Ryse was right, he's a scumbag. "More determined than ever, Kadian." I smile and the worry leaves me as I play the game.

"Determined to do what, Junco?"

"Save him. I think everyone knows by now, the only reason I'm here is to save him."

Kadian smiles and switches over to Kush. "Are you here to support Junco in her efforts? Or to win the wish?"

Kush's face remains passive, his signature expression of indifference. "Both."

Kadian waits for him to elaborate, but Kush turns his head towards the arena so he's is forced to redirect. "Are the two of you aware that the Archers have declared that no pardon wishes will be granted?"

Kush answers without even turning towards Kadian this time. "Our plans never included pardon wishes, Kadian. How naive do you think we are?"

It's true, too. My wish is not a pardon and Kush said his wish was to be captain.

"What are your wishes then, if you don't mind sharing with the arena. Everyone is anxious to see how Junco plans on saving Raubtier from his certain death sentence."

Kush doesn't even skip a beat. "You'll see our wishes when we win, not before."

Kadian smiles indulgently now. "But only one of you can win, Kush. Who will it be?"

Kush shrugs. "How the hell should I know."

Kadian has had enough of Kush and I've got a new respect for the attitude that suits him. My respect must show on my face because my first question hits the mark. "Junco, which of the many men in your life actually has your heart? There won't be much left if you keep parceling it out like this."

"Tier." It comes out automatically. "It always has been and always will be Tier."

"OK, let's switch gears, your love life is getting too complicated, Junco. Tell us why they call you the snowbird?"

I shake my head at him. "I can't tell you that, I have no idea."

"What is a snowbird? Do you have them on Earth?"

"Well, yes. Juncos are snowbirds, little winter sparrows that live in the mountains near my home. Or what was my home, after the nukes, there's nothing left, I hear. All the Rural Republic juncos are dead now."

"All except one, right?"

"Sure, right. All except one."

Apparently he's had enough of our lackluster performance because he signs off the interview. Kush and I disengage ourselves and head towards the ready room.

"Well," he lets out a breath, "that was fucking fantastic."

I have to trot to keep up with him so I grab on his arm and tug him back to slow down. "Shit, how did I ever think he was a decent guy? I mean, the nargala was fun and all, but he only took me so he could get me on camera in that designer dress."

He slows his pace and puts his hand in the middle of my back to direct me into the ready room where most of the fighters have already arrived and are reading through the rules. They flash across my vision screen and I greet my AI.
Decided to finally show yourself, eh?
She ignores me and the rules begin to scroll. I read them as Kush reads along on the giant screen at the head of the room.

No weapons.

Killing is not required, nor prohibited.

Falling below the red line denotes a forfeit.

The last man standing wins a wish.

The winner will execute the prisoners in the manner they choose.

Healing, up to the value of a hundred thousand rills, will be provided to all fighters who survive, unless they use their wish to compensate for overages.

I look up at Kush. "So basically, stay above the red line and don't let anyone kill you."

He smiles. "Got it in one, Junco."

Then we go fill out our wishes. You're allowed to have conditions for final health status in case your injuries exceed the allotted amount of health care, but I don't bother and from the speed by which Kush fills his out, he doesn't either. We press enter on the screens and they are sealed, only to be opened by Rache once the winner is determined.

The screen flashes to the filled arena. The nine Archers sit at the end opposite the stage where the prisoners are strung up, probably directly above my room. People are screaming and cheering, the odds are flashing last call on a giant board. I'm the favorite to win.

And then they call us to line up on our predetermined spots. Kush's spot is across the room from me, so he leans down and kisses my cheek. "See you at the end, snowbird."

I grin up at him. "Yeah, sure, Kush. Good luck."

Everyone takes their place and we settle into the ebb of activity that I use to predict start.

And then we are flying upward, the screams from the arena filling our ears, the hammering of stomping feet vibrating the entire structure, the lights dim and crackle as the various G-fields are activated.

Our feet come free and Deliverance begins.

Chapter Forty-Four

I have the neck of the guy next to me before he even knows what's happening. One swift twist later he's the first official forfeiter and I've set the standard for just how fucked-up this fight will be. In the end, the decision was based on logistics, not emotion. Killing is just so much easier than injuring.

I shoot up in the air after that and fly as hard as I can for the smallest and weakest of all the fighters, a girl not much bigger than me. She sees me targeting her and dives down below the red line.