Flesh: Part Fifteen (The Flesh Series Book 15) (2 page)

CHAPTER TWO

I spend the night in
Lucian's company. After having sex, we don't really move. We just lie
there and he strokes my back absentmindedly until we both pass out.

I wake up the next
morning with a smile on my face. I've dreamed about having Lucian
stay the night at my apartment for a while, and though the
circumstances weren't great, the experience was still more than I had
hoped for. We patched up our relationship, and now everything will be
alright.

At least I think
that until I roll over and find his spot empty. My smile instantly
turns upside down as I quickly pull my clothes on to see if he's in
the living room watching television. The thought that Lucian and
Janice may have crossed paths without me being around makes me
uncomfortable. I know that I shouldn't be jealous, but I just can't
help it.

The living room is
bare of his presence as well. His shoes are gone, and after checking
the bathroom just to make sure I didn't miss him, I realize that he
is too. He must have sneaked out this morning.

A bit disappointed,
I trudge back to my room to grab my cell phone. There are no new
messages, so I tap one out to Lucian to check on him. “You are
stealthy like a ninja. Just wanted to make sure you made it home
alright this morning.”

I sit on my bed and
wait for him to respond. After about ten minutes, I decide that he's
probably busy and will text me back whenever he gets time.

The day starts off
pretty boring, though I'm still floating on a high from being with
Lucian. I'm sad that he couldn't stay with me today. Lord knows what
he's doing. Hopefully, he's not working at Flesh.

I don't want to
think about that. It ruins things. And for now, I just want to
pretend that everything will be alright. For a while, it will be.
Until I start marinating on the fact that I'm still sharing him with
other women. That can be brought back up when the dust settles
though. I'll work on him, break him down like I've slowly been doing.

Surely, we can come
up with some compromise without me having to be his submissive. I do
enjoy the kink play that we do, I just don't want to be his slave.
And while I understand that submissive and slave aren't the same
thing, it sure felt that way when I read his extensive list of rules.

Not wanting to waste
my day in thought, I decide to go shopping at the mall. One of the
first stores I walk into is Frederick's of Hollywood. I spend a good
thirty minutes looking at sexy lingerie, wanting to find something
that will knock Lucian's socks off.

Even though I'm
alone, shopping is so much fun. In my giddiness, I splurge, walking
away with three new pieces of lingerie, garters, hose, and
accessories to match.

When I get home, I
try on all of the lingerie, modeling in front of my closet mirror and
prancing around gleefully. It's odd to think it, but I actually feel
sexy. Lucian makes me feel sexy. He seduced me when I was wearing
boring work clothes. He tells me I'm beautiful all the time. I love
his compliments. And though it took me a long time to come out of my
shell, I'm proud that I finally feel confident enough to want to wear
this kind of stuff around him.

But then I think
about the clauses in his contract that included diet and exercise,
and the happy little cloud I've been parading under all day darkens a
bit. I wrap my arms around myself, covering my stomach, the corners
of my lips dipping. I could stand to eat healthier and maybe to get
some kind of exercise in. Will I really be able to keep a man like
him if I don't shape up? According to that submissive contract, it's
highly unlikely.

But again, that's
something that I can do on my own. I don't need him standing over me,
forcing me to eat right and hit the gym. If I put my mind to it, I
can be a healthier person.

I nod to myself in
the mirror, deciding that I'll start my diet tomorrow. The apartment
complex has a gym, so maybe I can use it a few days a week, start out
slow. It would be good for me. I certainly can't deny that. Once I'm
in better shape, it will improve my self-confidence. Maybe I'll even
start to feel worthy of Lucian's God-like physique.

When I'm done
playing dress up, I put away the things that I bought and go into the
living room to watch television for the rest of the night. With a
soft smile on my face, I flip to the History Channel, then I go back
to my room to retrieve the pillow that Lucian used, hugging it as I
watch a documentary on some African tribe.

I just want to feel
close to him. But for as cute as the notion is, I quickly get bored
and flip to a sitcom. Having the pillow with me is good enough. I can
bury my face in it and inhale Lucian's scent and daydream about when
we'll be together again. And beyond that to when we'll be together in
the way that I want us to be.

***

The next day, I call
Derrick to see if he wants to hang out. Thankfully he's free, so we
decide to go to the movies and then out to a late lunch. Picking a
movie that we both agree on is easier said than done. I want to watch
this new live-action Disney movie that just came out, and he wants to
see a spy thriller. Eventually, we end up agreeing on a comedy though
neither of us ends up liking it.

“
Good
God, we should have known better,” Derrick groans over a piece
of bread.

I stare at it like a
ravenous dog, thinking about how I'm not supposed to be having any
carbohydrates today. Perhaps I should have considered that before
agreeing to come to an Italian restaurant. My resolve dips even
further as I watch Derrick slather his bread with butter. Then I give
up and reach across the table for my own piece. I'll start my diet
tomorrow.

“
Yeah.
That lead guy was horrible. I've never liked him in anything.”
I hold back my inner disappointment at myself as I watch the butter
melt on my perfectly warm piece of bread before taking a bite. Heaven
in my mouth.

“
Why
did we decide to see that movie, again?” He cocks an eyebrow.

“
Because
we couldn't agree on anything else,” I mumble around the bread
in my mouth.

“
Dainty,”
he teases me.

“
Hey,”
I gulp hard, “I was supposed to be dieting today. You ruined it
by wanting to come here. Let me indulge, because I'm going to start
again tomorrow.”

“
Sure
you are.” He nods slowly, obviously not believing me.

“
I
am.” I huff.

“
I've
heard that before.” He takes a sip of water.

“
We
should rent movies after this to make up for the crappy one we just
watched. Unless you're going out with your boyfriend tonight, of
course.” I hesitate, trying not to pout at the thought that he
might not be able to waste the rest of the day with me.

“
Nope.
We went out last night.” He tears his piece of bread in half
before nibbling on it.

“
How's
that going, by the way?”

“
It's
good.” His tone indicates the opposite.

“
No
sex last night?” I smirk.

“
Yeah.”
He sets his bread down and wipes his hands with his napkin.

“
Then
why don't you sound excited about it? Does it suck?” I give him
a confused look.

“
No.”
He shakes his head. “He's very good at what he does. He does
this thing with my balls—”

“
Whoa!”
I hold out my hands. “Too much information.”

“
Well,
you asked.” He rolls his eyes.

“
I
don't need the details.” I laugh.

“
Why
not? You tell me all of that nasty shit that you and Lucy Lu do.”

“
Lucy
Lu?” I nearly spit out the water I just drank.

“
How's
that going anyway?” He makes a sweeping motion with his hand as
if he's just trying to make conversation and not at all interested in
the answer.

“
It's
going better now.” I shrug. “I think you know how it is
at this point. One step forward, two steps back. We're stepping
forward right now.”

“
The
math on that is all wrong.” He frowns at me. “If you're
only taking one step forward and two steps back, then things aren't
going in the right direction.”

“
Perhaps
that was bad phrasing.” My eyes widen at my own stupidity.
“Things are going slowly.”

“
Well,
at least you're not on the verge of crying again.” He picks his
bread up and takes a bite.

I sigh. “I
wish you and Janice would get off of my back about that. My
relationship with Lucian is a work in progress. It probably will be
for a while still. I'm breaking him down though. Things will work out
in the end, I'm pretty sure of it.” I bob my head, determined
that I'm right.

“
If
you say so.” He quirks his head back.

“
I
do say so.” I glare at him.

“
Fine.”
He holds his palms up in surrender, then his attention diverts to
something behind me. “Oh thank God, the waiter is coming. I'm
absolutely starving.”

“
Me
too. I'm going to eat like there's no tomorrow.” I put down my
bread to give my menu another quick look over before folding it up.

***

After lunch, Derrick
and I stop by Redbox, pick up way more movies than we could possibly
ever watch in one afternoon, and head back to my apartment. I pour us
two glasses of the now flat wine that Lucian and I were supposed to
have drunk the night before, and we settle on the sofa for an evening
of mindless entertainment.

“
This
wine is kinda gross.” Derrick wrinkles his nose at me.

“
Just
shut up and drink it.” I smirk, wondering if it would be even
more unappetizing to him if he knew
I
had been meant to share it with Lucian
.
Information better not disclosed.

He screws his face
and takes a sip before shrugging and setting his glass on the coffee
table. Then he leans back and hooks his arm over the back of the
sofa, and I cuddle up against him.

Toward the end of
the first movie, Janice emerges from her bedroom wearing a sleek
black trench coat and some white shiny vinyl boots. Derrick and I
both turn to look at her.

“
Going
to Flesh?” I ask, trying to sound chipper about it.

“
Yup.
It's not too late for you to come.” She wiggles happily.

“
Pfft.
I'll pass.” Derrick grunts.

“
Aw,
come on. I'm sure you could learn a few things to teach to your
boyfriend,” she teases.

“
Shit,
he could probably teach those people a few things.” He rolls
his eyes.

“
So
when are we going to meet this mystery man?” Janice leans over
the sofa next to us, resting her forearms on it.

“
I
don't know.” His lips twist into a mischievous grin. “I'd
be kind of embarrassed for him to see how big of sluts you both are.”

“
Derrick!”
My mouth falls agape and I turn to smack him on the knee.

Janice laughs. “To
each his or her own. At least I don't let anyone fuck me in the
tailpipe.”

I blush madly at the
reference, thinking of what Lucian and I did together.

“
Oh
bullshit,” Derrick counters. “I bet there's not a hole in
your body that hasn't been violated.”

“
You
got me there.” She points at him. “Hopefully some of my
holes will get violated tonight. I want to do a rape scene,”
she says dreamily.

“
You,
ma'am, are a complete freak.” Derrick shakes his head at her.

“
Freaky
and proud.” She straightens herself, a smile plastered across
her face as she stretches.