Flirting With Chaos (32 page)

“I won’t be arguing either. I just missed you and needed to be near you.”

“We’ve only been away from each other for barely six hours.”

“That’s too fucking long for me.” He grabbed one of the towels and gestured to the walls. “Where’s the blood?”

I tensed. “Everywhere.”

“T-Bone said you made him get a bottle of bleach.”

I leaned back on the closed door and watched him as he poured some cleaner into the towel and wiped the blood off of the desk.

“He got it for me,” I said, “and bitched about it the whole time.”

Jude wiped the wall in front of him. “You think I should raise his salary?”

“Definitely. He damn sure deserves it. Who else would deal with us?”

“No one.” He tossed another towel to me. “Are you going to help me clean this or just stand there and watch?”

I caught it and worked on that river of blood that flowed out of the closet. The good thing was that it began lowering right as I touched it. The white towel turned to pink right before my eyes and became so heavy that I dropped it.

“There’s a lot over there, huh?” He balanced his weight on the desk. “You may need to take off that shower curtain and bend over to get it all up.”

“Really? Is this strictly an honest opinion from cleaner to cleaner, or are you trying to get me naked?”

“Both.”

I gathered up more of the blood, using towel after towel and slinging them in the corner with all the other wet and bloody ones. The metallic-scented odor transformed to bleach. It was a strong smell, but I would take that over blood any day. Every now and then, I’d check on Jude and spot him mopping up drops or washing off crimson lines. He moved fast. It must’ve only taken us an hour. Surprisingly, the last bit of cleaner I had was enough. Jude added water to the bottles, explaining that I only ever need a few drops in a large tub of water to make the blood go away.

He was right.

“Is there any more left?” His voice came from behind me.

I scanned the room, walking in a big circle. “It’s clean.”

“Good.” He dropped the bottle and took off his jacket. “When’s the last time you ate?”

“I don’t know.”

“You didn’t eat on the bus or at the club. Did you eat with…Maestro?”

“No.”

“So, you probably haven’t eaten in over twenty-four hours.” He raised the right side of his lip up and sneered a little, before catching himself and forming his mouth back to a straight line. “I’m going to order us something to eat. Is that okay?”

“Yes.”

“Do me a favor.” He headed to the phone.

“What?”

“Take off the shower curtain, start up a nice bath for us, and get inside. I’d like to talk to you.”

I shook my head. “No. The last time we talked in the bath tub, you decided you didn’t want to have sex with me and needed space. If you have something deep to say, just say it now.”

“I don’t want space from you. I’m hoping for the opposite. Now, fill up the tub with bubbles and get in there so we can talk, please.”

“Fine.” I stalked off down the suite.

It took him a while to finally get in the bath tub. He’d gone back and forth with the front desk receptionist about why the cleaner delivery was none of their damn business. Next, he’d explained who he was and how he’d tweet and post on Facebook that the hotel sucked. They had changed up their tone in seconds. Our food was now free.

By the time he finished on the phone and arrived in the bathroom, hot water surrounded my body, and peach-scented bubbles tickled my chin.

“It smells good in here.” He kicked off his shoes and undressed. “How did you get the fruity smelling shampoo? My room’s bathroom doesn’t have it.”

“I asked T-Bone to get me some bubble stuff too.”

“Hmm.” He unbuckled his jeans and let them drop to the floor. His cock flipped out and dangled between his thighs.

“Why don’t you wear underwear?”

“It gets in the way of quickies. I just like to open my jeans, stick it in, pull out when I’m done, and be on my way.”

I groaned and leaned my head back on the edge of the tub. “I can’t believe I’m even in love with you. Out of all the things that are wrong with me, that has to be the worst.”

“You’re in love with me?”

“You’re a manwhore.”

The water wavered as he stepped in. “Don’t say that so many things are wrong with you.”

“Why not?”

“There’s nothing wrong with you that a good therapist can’t fix. And loving me is one of the best parts of you.”

“A good therapist?”

“Which brings us to why we’re in this bathtub.”

Not this again.

It had been a while since Jude had preached to me about getting some help. I groaned again and sank all the way down into the tub, until the hot water rose over my head and enveloped me. Tiny bubbles skittered past my skin as pressure filled my chest. I rose and sat up while water streamed down my face, and my hair stuck to my cheeks and back. I sniffed the air. Marijuana smoke drifted around me.

He must have lit a joint.

“You shouldn’t be smoking.” I wiped my face and opened my eyes right as he inhaled some of the tiny joint.

“Well, I’m enjoying my last day before I become a sober, boring Jude.”

“Sober? You’re thinking about quitting?” I pulled my hand out of the water and dried it off on the towel hanging next to me. “Let me have some.”

He handed the joint to me. “Yep. I’m considering a no drug future. I’ve been thinking for a while that I should probably change parts of my lifestyle. Last night was a wake-up call.”

“Why now, all of a sudden?” I inhaled some of it.

“You mean, besides the fact that I beat up someone who was a decent associate of mine for two years, and I did it simply because he kissed you? Or maybe it’s because I’ve been high since I was fourteen?”

“Fourteen? I guessed sixteen.”

“Nope. Dad couldn’t wait to teach me about drugs.” He coughed and took the joint back. “And speaking of Dad…after you ran off the bus, I called him. I just needed someone to talk to about the whole situation.”

“What did he say?”

“He thought what I did was funny. That he was proud of me.”

I blew out smoke.

“It hit me as he was congratulating me that I was going to end up being just like him.” He grabbed the joint back from me. “I don’t think he’s happy. I don’t want that.”

“Me either.”

“I don’t want to be an old man in my forties, sharing girls with my kid and being in the newspapers for disorderly behavior and shit.”

“You won’t.”

“I know I won’t, because I’m going to do every damn thing I can to avoid it. I’ve been researching rehab clinics. There’s a few that have regular psychiatric wards there too. Not the crazy stuff, but the ones for rich people, with suites, room service—”

“You think you need a psych ward?”

“No.” His face transformed from relaxed to serious. “I would like you to come with me and stay at the psych ward.”

“No.”

“Rainy—”

“You’re the one that beat up somebody, and you’re the one that’s running around sticking your dick in everybody like the world is going to end the next day.” I jumped up, rushed out of the tub, and almost slipped as I stomped away. “Get out of my room.”

“Just listen to me.” He hurried after me. I had no idea where he’d thrown the joint, probably in the bathtub.

“I’m not listening to you.” I searched for a clean towel among the bloody ones and was relieved to see that every towel on the floor was clean.

Thank God.

I grabbed the closest one and wrapped it around my body. “I was going to pretend like we could move on from last night, but now I don’t think so.”

He seized my arm and pulled me to him. “So, what are you thinking?”

“I don’t think we should have sex or be friends or anything—”

Jude tossed me a wicked smile. “Well, you don’t get to make that decision for us anymore. You lost that right last night.”

“How?”

“By walking by me and holding another’s man hand and causing me to realize I didn’t like seeing that shit. By making me realize that two fucking hot women in a stall couldn’t drown out the feel of your skin, or hide your bloody peach scent, or get the sound of your moans out of my head. That’s how!”

“Don’t yell at me.” I shoved at him.

He drew me in tighter. “I’m sorry about messing with those groupies. I wish I could take it back. I wish I could’ve not taken them in the bathroom. I wasn’t even horny. I did it because I could, like a fat kid with his mouth smeared in chocolate, grabbing for that last donut. I did it because they were there, and every damn man in the club was staring at you like they were hungry, and I didn’t know how to deal with it—”

“Don’t make this about me.” I poked my finger at his chest.

“But it is about you.” He lifted me up and carried me to the bed.

I didn’t even fight him. I’d learned by now that he would just ignore it and take me wherever he wanted.

He laid me down and hovered over me. His face was a foot from mine. “Why did you try to correct me when I told Maestro you were mine?”

“This isn’t about that. Don’t try to blame me for you having an orgy.”

“Why did you correct him?”

“Because I wasn’t yours.”

“That changes right now.” He tore away the towel. “We’re together, Rainy. No more friends that fuck, or friends that hang around each other wishing they could fuck, or friends with stupid limits that get blurred or stepped on. We’re together like normal people.”

“Do we even know what normal is?”

“That’s what we’re going to these clinics to find out.”

Air brushed against my bare body. I covered my breasts with my arms. He moved them away and kissed the nipple on the right and then the left. They woke up under his lips’ touch and hardened. I struggled to hold in the moan that lodged in my throat.

He traced his tongue along one stiff nipple and sucked. “What’s on your mind?”

“Why ask, when you’re going to make all the decisions for us anyway?”

He leaned his head to the side. “You don’t like me being your man?”

“No. I have a feeling you’ll be a shitty one.”

“Too bad. We’re together.” He returned to sucking on my breasts and lapping at my nipples with his tongue.

This time I couldn’t keep in my whimpers.

He grunted and slipped his hand between my thighs. “This is only the beginning for us, Rainy. We were just so fucked up in the head that we never realized how great we were together until that night in the Bahamas.”

“We’re not—”

All words left when his finger entered me.

“We’re not what?” He growled, slipping his finger in and out of me while his thumb rubbed sensual circles on my swollen clit. “We’re everything. Every possible good thing about this world you can imagine is what we are. You can’t walk away from that or me, because I’ll follow you, and when I trap you, there’s no getting free.”

I whined as he pulled his finger out and licked it, as if my arousal was the sweetest thing he’d ever sampled.

“Put it back. Please,” I begged.

“Are we together?”

I sighed. “Can we talk about this later?”

“Later?” His gaze traveled down my squirming body. “What do you want to do in the meantime?”

“Fuck.”

He chuckled. “God, you’re so naughty, but I’m not starting anything until we’re on the same page.”

I spread my legs out and placed my hands between my wet folds. “Please.”

His cock grew stiff next to my thigh.

I yearned to touch the head and outline it with my hungry fingers. “You’re getting hard.”

“I never said I didn’t want you too. I said we need to agree.”

I groaned and stopped touching myself. “Agree on what?”

“The first thing we need to agree on is that we’re together.”

“Fine. If you think you can keep your dick out of another female for a whole week, I just might consider giving you my heart.”

“I already have your heart. And I’ll be faithful. The clinics I found have sexual addiction counselors too. I figure why not get the whole buffet of psych shit in one big swoop of time.”

I rubbed my face with shaking fingers, not liking where this conversation was going. “You think you’re addicted to sex and drugs?”

“Maybe.” He shrugged. “I just don’t care for being someone that hurts you. I see how my dad’s treated women all my life. Now he’s sitting around at forty-one, all alone and hanging with women that are in love with his music and not him. I deserve more. I doubt I deserve you, but I can try to earn your love.”

My eyes watered, and I didn’t understand why I felt like crying. I turned my face away. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”

“Yes. There is. You just don’t want to admit it.”