Flirting With Magick (21 page)

His reply was surprising. “I’ve got a confession to make as well.” He looked at me sheepishly. “My recent break up is a bit more recent than I’ve let on, after you started at Avalon actually, not before.” He
rubbed his face with both hands. “Thing is, Abby, I really think we hav
e a connection and... well, if you would let me, I’d like to help you get over this guy.” He sat down next to me and took the cup from my hand, brushing my hair away from my face. “Can we give it a go?”

“Sean, I...” He placed a gentle kiss on my lips.

KATE WAS BUSTLING
about tidying her flat, adamant that I wasn’t
to help and was to just sit and wait patiently for my cup of tea.

“
You’re going all out to impress, aren’t you?” I lifted one eyebro
w in a joking manner.

She stuffed some half folded towels into a bursting cupboard and
pushed the protesting door shut. “You can’t talk.” She frowned pointedly
at the recent highlights in my hair and new, shoulder-length cut. “Be
careful they don’t notice at work that you’ve changed your hair. That
’s got ‘new boyfriend’ written all over it.”

“Oh, they’ve asked,” I told her. “I don’t think any of them have even imagined that it’s Sean.” Even Rachel seemed to have come to a
conclusion that my new boyfriend was outside of work, probably Jos
h,
and had dropped all hints of a set up between Sean and me. If only
she knew.

We heard a key in the door, and Nathan casually walked in as though
he owned the place. So he had a key; Kate was cleaning; this certainly
was getting serious.

“Abby!” He practically lunged for me after kissing Kate hello. “I
am soooo sorry about the other night at PeaSeas. I hope I didn’t cause
any problems.”

“No, it’s fine," I assured him. “It’s completely understandable, and
we weren’t really going out...then.”

“Trust you to open your fat trap.” Kate punched him playfully in
the stomach.

“You said Josh has a beard.” He whined at her. “Abby’s new guy has a beard. It’s an easy mistake to make.”

I laughed. “It’s fine, really.” Then I asked a somewhat painful questi
on, not sure I wanted to know the answer. “So are Scott and Tanya...?“

“What?” Nathan ‘s face turned to horror
—
good sign. “You’ve gott
a be kidding me.”

Then a strange look passed between him and Kate, a kind of knowing
,
about something that I was obviously better off not knowing. I frow
ned
at Kate as Nathan went into the bedroom and came out wearing a different
T-shirt. "I'd better get to rehearsals," he said, pinching an apple from the unusually well-stocked fruit bowl.

"Will you be home for dinner?" Kate asked him, reaching for the kettle that had just boiled.

"Yep, I'll see you soon." He kissed Kate and winked my way as h
e exited the flat.

Kate finally sat down and placed a cup of tea in front of me.

"
How is Scott going, anyway?" I asked, still fixated on the strang
e look that passed between her and Nathan when I mentioned him.

"Oh,um." She appeared surprised, then shrugged. "I wish I could tell you."

I wasn't expecting that. "How come?"

"I never see him anymore. He's been leaving straight after the
performances lately. Luke said he's been going out a lot."

I noticed Kate wouldn't look me in the eye and seemed to be
deciding whether to continue.

"There's more, isn't there? Honestly, it's fine. I'm with Sean now. You can tell me."

She
took
a breath and
pressed her lips
together. “This is just
speculation
, okay? No one knows anything for sure."

"No one knows what for sure?"

"He told Luke he's been writing at the studio, and Luke doesn't
believe him. He always does his writing at home. So Luke thinks..." Sh
e gave me a pained look.

"Kate, really it's okay." My heart was beating faster, reminding
me that I wasn't sure it was okay at all.
He's a womaniser
, I reminded myself.
It's better this way.

"Luke thinks he might be seeing someone."

"Oh." I tried to keep my voice neutral.

"He thinks he's covering up because she's married, or famous or
something."

 "A guy's gotta have sex, I guess." My own response surprised me.
It wasn’t a problem. I was with Sean now. I needed to keep telling
myself that.

"Yeah." Kate took a sip of her drink. "How about you?"

"No." I got up and rinsed my cup in the sink. "I think I need to take
it slowly this time." Sean and I had been taking it very slowly over the
last few weeks, getting to know each other before jumping into bed. After the lustful intensity of the nocturnal activities I had with Scott, it was nice to wait and be the subject of an old-fashioned courtship.. "
Oh crap." Thinking of Sean suddenly reminded me, and I looked around
. "I think I left my phone at home; I'd better go."

Sitting on my dresser, my phone showed two messages had been left while I was out: “Hi Abby. It’s Sean. Sorry, something’s come up. I won’t be able to come over tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Damn. I sighed and moved on to the next message, hoping it wa
s
him again, letting me know his plans had changed. No such luck. It was
from Josh, who must have been calling from a separate phone as I ha
d kept his number so I knew not to answer.

“Hi Abby. It’s me again. Listen, I’m not going to give up on you.
I’m going to keep calling you until you agree to see me. So if you wa
nt
me to stop, it might just be easier if you pick up the phone and talk to me."

Yeah, that or I call the police, I thought, feeling more annoyed at Sean’s absence tonight than Josh’s infuriating phone calls, first to my landline and now to my mobile.

I didn’t let my annoyance show at work the following morning.
An email was the first thing to greet me as I sat down at my desk. “Sorry
about last night. Can I make it up to you tomorrow? I have all day. Can you come over in the morning?”

Sean’s idea of making it up to me involved a romantic movie follow
ed
by a picnic in a beautiful garden park. I was impressed, “How long have
you had this planned?”

“I’ve wanted to do this for a while, but I had to order the food this
morning,” he admitted, placing smoked salmon on a buttered crusty
roll and bringing it to my lips. “A friend of mine has been a bit upset the
last couple of nights. I didn’t get home till early this morning. Luckily
, I’ve got a good relationship with a café up the road.”

“Is your friend alright?” I asked, feeling ashamed at my irritation towards him for not being able to see me the other night.

“Yeah,” he answered, looking thoughtfully at the ground. “Just
some relationship stuff.” He put the bread down and touched my che
ek
lightly with his finger. “I would have preferred to be with you.” He leaned
in and kissed my mouth, then discreetly pushed the strap of my sun
dress
off my shoulder before replacing it with his lips. I shivered at his to
uch, wishing he had chosen a more secluded, less family-orientated park as a young couple, chasing two small boys on scooters, ran past. The
man winked at us as I gently pushed Sean away and hooked my thu
mb under the strap to return it to its rightful place.

I grinned nervously at him while I packed up the picnic basket. “Maybe we should finish this at home?”

I didn’t mention the fact that his apartment had an abandoned
look about it as he led me to his bedroom. The curtains were drawn, and there weren’t any signs of recent activity in the kitchen.

“We certainly took our time.” I muttered as he lifted my dress
over my head.

He pulled me towards him. “I didn’t think you were ready. Besides...”
He nuzzled my cleavage as he sensuously stroked my back, eventually
undoing my bra. “Don’t you think the wait makes it so much better?”

I let him lay me down on his bed and closed my eyes as his lips
crushed against mine. Sex with Sean was the complete opposite of ou
r
respectable and wholesome dating. He made me feel like a novice again
as he flipped me around on the bed, not a woman with more than on
e
sexual partner in the past. His expertise, coupled with the sheer relief
that my celibacy was ending, ensured I didn’t have long to wait, and I
felt the primal need to be vocal. “Oh my God! Sco–! SEAN!” I bit my lip
.
Fear rushed through me straight after the sweet release. I covered my
face with my hands in what I hoped he would see as purely a resi
gned move, hoping he had not noticed that I had almost called him Scott.

“Hey, are you alright?” He asked, gently lifting my hands off my face.
He was smiling contentedly. “Wow! That was pretty fucking amazing!”

“I’m fine,” I answered, comforted he hadn’t detected my slip-up. “That was pretty amazing fucking.”

I ABSENTMINDEDLY ANSWERED
the phone while Dianne sat on my couch, chuckling over a little joke she had made.

"Hi, Abby." Familiar gravelly voice. Josh. Shit. I cursed myself for
becoming complacent, losing concentration, and not screening the call.

"Hi, Josh." I could at least be polite. "What can I do for you?" As if I didn’t know.

"Listen, Abby. Could you please meet with me just one time? H
ear me out, and then I'll leave you alone. I promise."

I sighed loudly into the receiver. There was a mixture of fear and comfort at the sound of his voice. So far I had been protected by not having to see him, knowing that he was gone the moment I hung up the phone. It would be different if I saw him. I knew that deep down, I still cared enough to need to hear him out, and was worried that if I
laid eyes on him, he would only have to say the right things and Sean
would be history. Yes, avoidance was my favourite coping mechanism
. “I don't think that would be a good idea, Josh."

I looked over at Di, knowing she had heard. "Are you okay?" she mouthed. I nodded as Josh kept talking.

"Just for a coffee. You name the time and place. Just hear me out
then you can hit me, scream at me, leave after a couple of minutes...
whatever you want to do. And if you really want me out of your life, I won't bother you anymore." He obviously wasn't going to take 'no'
for an answer. He really would keep calling me until I agreed to meet
with him. It would be easier to just get it over with.

I let out another loud sigh.

"Okay." I answered, defeated. We arranged to meet the following morning at a cafe around the corner from my flat. I hung up feeling slightly better, knowing that I was doing the right thing, and slightly afraid of how I was going to react upon seeing him.

"So you're finally going to see him? Do you want some moral support?" Di looked concernedly at me.

"No thanks." I picked up my tea and, realising I could no longer stomach it, tipped it down the sink. "Just keep your phone on in case I need to vent afterwards or have a cry."

"Do you think he wants you back?”

"I don't know. I guess it makes it easier now that I can tell him I’m seeing someone."

"Can you do me a favour when you see him?"

"What's that?"

"Give him a kick in the head for me."

I loved how Di always managed to make me laugh when something
was bothering me, and how she never judged
—
only supported me in
whatever decision I made. All I could muster right now, however, was
a small smile.

"So..." I could tell she was trying to change the subject. What a
sweetie. "Are you going to tell Sean?”

***

His familiar silhouette was in the window. Typical, just like Josh to sit where he could see me coming. As I had expected, and before I
could change my mind, he looked up and saw me, giving me a wa
ve.
I felt his eyes on me as I entered the cafe, his gaze turning to trepidation
as I approached the table. He stood up, placing an awkward kiss on my cheek, and politely offered me the other seat.

"Thanks for coming, Abs," he said shyly, now hardly looking at
me, before clearing his throat. "How are you?"

"I'm fine." I caught my voice losing the confident abruptness I’d
been practicing. I signalled to the waiter and ordered a latte
—
something
that could be finished quickly so I could get out of there. I wasn’t abo
ut to indulge in any long, friendly breakfasts with Josh.

His eyes were red rimmed with grey bags underneath, as though he hadn't had much sleep in some time. He took a deep breath, and I prepared myself for his speech.

"I'm really sorry, Abby, for leaving like that." He swallowed. "I'm
not going to expect you to take me back, but I will do anything to m
ake it up to you."

I quickly took his pause to speak. "You never told me why you left."

He looked down into his cup before meeting my eyes again. "I got
scared. And this opportunity came up, and I just took it."