Authors: Patrick Carman
Tags: #Humorous Stories, #Action & Adventure, #Juvenile Fiction, #Fantasy & Magic, #General, #Mysteries & Detective Stories
“I look forward to concluding our business, Mr. Frescobaldi,” said the guest, but Bernard was already gone, down the stairs until he had summoned every single guest to the lobby. He had sent Leo ahead to find his father, and the two maintenance men waited at the bottom of the wide staircase as Merganzer D. Whippet, fully disguised as Bernard Frescobaldi, strode down the steps.
Ms. Sparks saw him first.
“Who on earth is
that
?” she said, one eye on the mysterious man in the long gray coat and one on the front door. She seemed to be pondering whether or not to run, though it was hard to say why. There was something about this man she recognized.
Merganzer reached the bottom of the stairs as the guests started arriving, some by the main elevator, some by the stairs, all of them curious.
“I’ll have you know that mornings are my best writing hours,” said Theodore Bump. “You may have just cost me five thousand words. This better be important.”
Captain Rickenbacker was not a morning person, and he arrived with his red cape tucked into his trousers. “Has anyone made coffee?” was all he said.
The Yanceys huddled together in their matching black silk pajamas, completely confused.
LillyAnn Pompadore set Hiney on the floor, where he promptly peed.
“Pilar!” Ms. Sparks yelled, and it was only after she heard her own voice that she remembered she’d fired the maid the night before. She looked around the room and her eyes landed on Leo. “You, clean that up.”
“Yes, ma’am,” said Leo, who always carried a can of carpet-cleaning foam and rags in his tool bag, just in case.
“Is someone going to tell us why we’re here?” asked Mr. Yancey. “If not, I believe I’ll go back to my room. I’d like to make sure nothing gets stolen.”
It was a jab Leo didn’t like to hear, especially from a paying customer at the hotel he now owned.
Merganzer had remained quiet, seated in the darkest corner of the lobby, but now he snapped his fingers. His best friend in all the world came down the stairs.
“George Powell?” said Ms. Sparks. “What are you doing here?”
Ms. Sparks was alarmed, because Mr. Powell
never
came to the hotel. She’d only ever seen him in his private legal office seven blocks away, and even then very rarely.
“Who’s George Powell? You mean him?” asked LillyAnn Pompadore, pointing at the short man arriving
at the bottom of the stairs. “That’s Milton, not George.”
Ms. Sparks smelled a rat, looking at the door once more, and came out from behind the check-in counter.
“What’s the meaning of this, George?” Ms. Sparks demanded.
“I believe I’ll let him tell you,” George said, pointing to Merganzer. When he did, Merganzer threw off the disguise and everyone gasped, for they all knew who it was in an instant.
“My apologies for gathering you all so early, but I’m afraid it was unavoidable,” Merganzer began without the slightest hesitation. Ms. Sparks was utterly speechless as George Powell unlocked the hotel door and Mr. Phipps came in, back to looking every bit the gardener.
“I’m only here for a moment and then I must go, this time for good,” said Merganzer. “Just a few loose ends to tie up, then I’m off.”
“But you’re not Mr. Whippet,” said LillyAnn Pompadore. “You’re Bernard Frescobaldi. And he’s Milton, your driver.”
“I’m afraid not,” said Merganzer, looking at all the long-term guests. He walked over to Theodore Bump, who had been with the hotel for two years running. As Bernard Frescobaldi, Merganzer had called Mr. Bump
on several occasions, offering money for causing chaos at the hotel. Each time, Theodore Bump had refused.
“Keep writing those books,” said Merganzer. “I’m a very fast reader, you know. I do hope you’ll stay on after I’m gone.”
“Keep Blop out of my room, and you’ve got a deal.”
Merganzer glanced at Leo, who nodded.
“Done,” said Mr. Whippet.
Leo had finished cleaning up after Hiney by then, and stood next to his dad, wondering where this was going.
“And you,” said Merganzer, stopping in front of Captain Rickenbacker. “What will the Whippet do if you don’t protect us from MR. M., hmmm?”
Bernard had called Captain Rickenbacker to the gate on two occasions, asking for dastardly favors, but Captain Rickenbacker had never wavered.
“You can count on me,” said Captain Rickenbacker, saluting Merganzer enthusiastically.
Merganzer bent down and picked up Hiney.
LillyAnn Pompadore had been inching her way toward the door, but when Merganzer picked up her dog, she stopped.
“Give me my dog and I’ll be on my way,” she said.
“Ms. Pompadore, you were all too willing.”
“My husband has a lot of money, more than you, I’m sure!” she fired back. “He might just buy this hotel right out from under you!”
Merganzer handed Ms. Pompadore her dog. She held him close and looked as if she might start crying.
“Then why did you do it, Ms. Pompadore? Why did you agree to sabotage the hotel?”
“Because you said —
Bernard
said — it would drive down the price. You said we could own it together!”
“But LillyAnn,” said Merganzer, far too kindly for someone who had totally betrayed him, “you just said you could buy it out from under me.”
“No, that’s not true. I said
my husband
could buy it,” said LillyAnn, and then she began to cry, holding Hiney close to her chest. “My
ex
-
husband
, if you want the truth.”
But Merganzer already knew about that. It was why he knew LillyAnn might betray him, but he also knew the
real
reason why, and this softened his heart.
“Where will I go?” asked LillyAnn. “The Whippet is the only home I’ve got, and I’m all out of money. It’s just me and Hiney now.”
“You love the Whippet, don’t you, LillyAnn?” asked Merganzer.
“I do, and I’m sorry. I’m very, very sorry.”
Captain Rickenbacker put an arm around LillyAnn and patted her gently. He petted the dog, because the two of them were close friends.
“I could use Hiney,” said Captain Rickenbacker. “He’s a good sniffer.”
“And I see a marvelous story here,” said Theodore Bump. “It could be my biggest seller yet, but I’ll need to interview the young lady.”
LillyAnn Pompadore brightened at the sound of the word
young
and stepped a little closer to Mr. Bump. She looked at Merganzer as if he held her whole life on a delicate string.
Merganzer glanced once more at Leo, who nodded very slightly.
“Of course you can stay,” said Merganzer D. Whippet. “But you’ll have to do some work around here. No one gets by for free.”
LillyAnn beamed, but it was the last straw for Ms. Sparks, who had watched the proceedings with increasing discomfort.
“You must evict her, Mr. Whippet. She can’t be trusted!” she yelled. “None of this lot can be trusted! This hotel has become a den of liars, scoundrels, and reckless, rude children. I will not stand for it!”
Merganzer was a gentle soul, but every now and then, when duty called, he could be a lion. He walked
up to Ms. Sparks, looking down his long, elegant nose as she leaned away from him. He stood so close, the beehive pointed toward the wall behind her.
And then he spoke.
“I don’t want to alarm the guests, but you, Ms. Sparks, are fired.”
“You can’t fire me! I’m the hotel manager!” she shouted. Merganzer snuck his hand into her jacket pocket and pulled the long diamond necklace out slowly.
“My necklace!” said Nancy Yancey, snatching it away from Merganzer almost before he could get it all the way out into the open.
Everyone gasped at once, even Mr. Phipps, who was nearly unflappable.
“Mr. Fillmore, would you please escort Ms. Sparks out of the hotel,” asked Merganzer. Clarence Fillmore was the biggest man in the room by a country mile, and before Ms. Sparks knew it, he was standing at her side.
“You can’t fire me! You can’t!” cried Ms. Sparks.
“Actually, you’re right about that,” said Merganzer. “I can’t fire you.”
Ms. Sparks looked momentarily triumphant, holding her head high. She might prevail over this weakling after all.
“Leo, have you the key card and the deed?” asked Merganzer.
Leo came to the middle of the room and pulled out the rarest of the Whippet key cards — and Ms. Sparks nearly fell over backward. Mr. Fillmore knew about the card, too. They all did, and none of them could believe Leo was holding it.
“But how …?” Ms. Sparks stammered.
“You are all witnesses here, each and every one of you,” said Merganzer D. Whippet. “I hereby sell the Whippet Hotel and every thing in it to Leo Fillmore for the price of …” He glanced back and forth around the room until he saw the thing Leo held in his hand. “I sell the Whippet Hotel and every thing in it to Leo Fillmore for the price of one bottle of carpet cleaner!”
It was all theatrics, but Leo handed Merganzer the bottle of carpet cleaner, which was then handed to George Powell for safekeeping. Leo held up the deed for everyone to see, and then he looked up at Ms. Sparks.
“You’re fired,” he said.
Ms. Sparks started taking things off the check-in desk, anything she could put her hands on — the appointment book, the pens, pads of paper. Mr. Fillmore took them all back, one by one, and ushered her to the door. Leo smiled from ear to ear. Could it get any better? He didn’t think so as Ms. Sparks screamed on her way out.
“This won’t be the last you see of me, Leo Fillmore!”
Merganzer D. Whippet looked at George. “How did I ever manage to hire that woman to begin with?”
“You see the best in people,” said George. “But I’ll admit, you have to look awfully hard to find anything good in that one. She can be quite deceptive.”
Merganzer leaned in close to Leo and gave him a piece of advice.
“Know thy enemy.”
Leo nodded, because he understood. Ms. Sparks would do almost anything to gain back control of the Whippet. Maybe it wasn’t really the last time he would see her.
A stillness invaded the lobby, and Merganzer ushered everyone into the Puzzle Room, where he had one more surprise before his departure.
“This one is for you, Mr. Phipps. And you, Captain Rickenbacker.”
He took a black key card out of his pocket, swiped the surface back and forth and back again with his elegantly long finger, and the puzzle pieces began rising into the air. All eight hundred thousand of them. It was like a puzzle snowstorm over the long table, and everyone laughed.
“How?” asked Mr. Phipps.
“I could tell you how each piece has its own magnet,” said Merganzer. “And I could tell you about the
complex system of magnets in the table and throughout the room. But let’s just say it’s a bit of magic, shall we?”
“Works for me,” said Captain Rickenbacker.
Merganzer swiped the black key card again and pieces started to fall into place. The room filled with the sound of snapping as thousands of puzzle pieces locked into place. Leo thought it was the most spectacular thing he’d ever seen.
When it was done, there were indeed two hundred and twenty-three ducks, including Betty and the other resident ducks, all six of them waddling toward a bright green pond. There were trees and a blue sky, the grounds with their giant topiaries, and the Whippet Hotel right in the middle of it all.
“Not bad,” said Leo. “Not bad at all.”
It had been the most magical of mornings, but Leo still had a certain emptiness inside that he could not shake. He tapped George on the shoulder, hoping for one last favor.
“I wonder if you might play the part of Milton one last time,” asked Leo. “There’s someone I need to go find.”
“I was hoping you might ask,” said George. He donned his driving cap and bowed to the new owner of the Whippet Hotel. “After you, sir.”
And they were off.
L
eo stood in front of a door that reminded him of how thankful he was to be living at the Whippet Hotel. The building in which the door found its home was not cared for the way a building should be. Leo had spied hundreds of things he would have liked to have fixed on the way up, and he was sure there were thousands more.
“If I owned this building, it would be in much better shape,” said Leo.
“That’s the spirit,” said George. “Maybe you
will
own it one day.”
Leo looked across at his companion and wondered how that would be possible.
“Better knock; time’s a-wasting,” George encouraged. And so Leo did knock, softly at first, and then louder because he was so excited.
When Pilar saw him, her eyes brightened.
“Leo! How did you …?” She seemed to let the question go as it trailed off, suddenly happy for her son. “Remilio is going to be so happy to see you. The hotel is all he talks about.”
Pilar let them in and Leo’s heart sank a little. She had done her best to fix up the one-bedroom apartment, but there’s only so much a mom could do with cracked windows, ancient appliances, and holes in the walls.