Flyy Girl (40 page)

His response made Tracy think about race and college. “Yeah, my father told me how hard it was for him to graduate from college in the seventies. He said he nearly hated white people. But he said he had to learn how to get along with them eventually.”

“I know. I've already gone through that phase. I had to beat a few white boys down in high school. Most of them were afraid of me though.”

“Did you play high-school football?”

“Yup, for all four years.”

“You got older brothers and sisters?”

“Nope.”

“Am I asking you too many questions?”

“No, but I'll let you know,” Carl said with a chuckle.

“So you get a lot of homework in college?”

“Yeah, but if you keep to a tight schedule, you can do it. You know what though, Tracy?”

“What?” she quizzed, excitedly.

“No, forget it,” he said, toying with her curiosity.

“What? Tell me.”

“No. It's not that important.”

“Yes it is. Tell me. Please, Carl.”

“Well, I just wanted to tell you that you have some very attractive eyes. They remind me of my grandmother's. And I used to sit on her lap as a kid and listen to her while she told me stories. That's all.”

Tracy beamed. “Oh, you so sweet, Carl.”

“Yeah, I just thought I'd tell you that,” he responded confidently, believing that the story was romantic.

“Well, thank you,” Tracy told him.

Carl smiled and said, “So Tracy, when are we gonna go out and get some ice cream?”

“How you know I like ice cream?”

“I didn't know. But
I
like ice cream though.”

Things were rolling along
too
smoothly. Tracy needed to know that it was
real.
She challenged him and said, “You know what, Carl? I don't believe a word you say anymore. I bet you just like my girlfriends said guys in college are. And you're just trying to get some young ass.”

“What!” Carl snapped at her. He then calmed himself and told her what he was about. “Girl, do you know that I could do more to you with words, without ever having to touch you. Just being with a gorgeous black woman makes
me
happy. But you don't know me yet, so why would you pass judgments on the things that I say to you? Let me tell you something, Tracy. You have a lot of potential, but you have to stop that kid stuff if you want to be with me. So you call me back when you're a little more mature.”

“Why are you hanging up?” she asked. She was curious to see what else he had to say.

“Because I have some work to finish up,” Carl told her. “But I don't want to end this conversation on a bad note, Tracy, so I just want you to know that I like you. Okay? I like you a lot.”

Tracy smiled. “Okay.” She thought about telling Carl that she liked him as well, but she decided not to. She would tell him at another time, and possibly she would show him that she liked him. His muscular body was too tempting for her to ignore.
And I'm not a virgin anymore,
so what's the difference if you really like a guy?
she asked herself. Yet she had not made up her mind on the matter.

One college weekend had helped distort Tracy's already negative attitude about high school. High-school classes that week were more boring than the last, and Tracy was beginning to look past her Germantown High days.

“Ay, what's up, Tracy?” a mere high-school boy asked at her locker.

“Hi, John,” Tracy greeted him.

“Umm, does Jantel have a boyfriend?” John asked. He seemed very timid about it, as if he was afraid to ask.

“No, but she needs one.
Bad,
” Tracy told him with a grin.

“For real? Why do you say that?”

“Because, she's jealous of these freshman girls,” Tracy informed him. She felt that she was too mature to be jealous of new meat.

John asked, walking alongside her, “Do you think that I can get with her?” He was well aware that Jantel was a city-wide track sensation.

Tracy readjusted her earring, which was tangled inside her hair. “It's worth a try. She's free,” she told him.

“Well, tell her that I want to talk to her.”

Tracy frowned at the idea. “Look, John, if you really want to talk to her like you say you do, then go tell her. And if she turns you down, just stay on her back until she gives in.”

“You really think that'll work?”

“Well, if it don't, then at least you know that you didn't go to lunch on your opportunity.”

“Dig, that's right. Thanks a lot, ‘Tray,' ” he responded, energized by his chat with her.

“What I tell you about callin' me that?” she snapped.

John shouted, bouncing down the hallway, “Come on now, ‘Tray,' we too cool for that!”

Tracy smiled and walked into the lunch room expecting to tell Jantel who liked her. It was noisy as usual, and Jantel was nowhere in sight. Tracy then sat by herself, happy that she was able to give John good advice. She began to picture herself as a mentor.
I have been through
enough to advise people,
she thought.

“So Tracy, how was school today?” Patti asked.

“The same as always,” Tracy answered. She sat watching
Sanford &
Son
with a long face.

Patti said, “You haven't been excitable these last couple of days as you usually are. Is something bothering you?”

“Yup, mom. Life is long and boring sometimes,” Tracy answered, falling back into the couch with a long sigh. “Sometimes I just wish that I was older already.”

“Well, don't let a couple of rotten days spoil your weeks, because it's always a better day coming,” her mother perked.

That's easy for you to say. You got my dad back,
Tracy thought. “What if dad didn't come back?” she asked with a nervous smile.

Patti stared at her. “Then we'd be living in Chestnut Hill somewhere,” she revealed.

Tracy was shocked. “For real, mom? You would have moved us out?”

Patti didn't blink. “That's right. One monkey don't stop no show.”

Tracy laughed. “Are you calling dad a monkey?”

Her mother smiled and said, “If the shoe fits . . .”

“But I like this house,” Tracy told her.

“You think I don't? But it was time for your father to either do right, or do wrong somewhere the hell else,” she fumed. “And I should have made up my mind about that years ago. But you know what they say, ‘If I would have known then what I know now, I woulda', coulda', shoulda'.

“All of my little girlfriends told me that I could never keep your father anyway,” Patti alluded. “They all thought that he would have chosen ‘an educated college girl.' But he didn't.”

“Is it really that hard to keep a guy that you really like?” Tracy decided to ask. She had yet to experience pressures over losing any of her boyfriends. Outside of her fling with Victor,
she
had been the elusive one. She refused to count Charles.
I let him go so he could do
what he wanted to do,
she told herself.
Charles would have stayed with
me if I told him to.

Patti gave some deep thought to the question. “You know, everyone wishes that they could just fall in love with the right person and remain happy, but it just doesn't work that way. Things change, people change, and some of us just get plain bored and aggravated by the stress in relationships.”

Patti tried to sum everything up, but she couldn't find the right words. “Oh, I don't know, girl. Everything is confusing in this world anyway. I'm just glad that your father and I have been able to work things out, for the time being.”

Tracy grimaced. “Are y'all still having problems?”

Patti shrugged. “Well, you never know, Tracy. I mean, it's only been a few months now.” She then returned to the kitchen to cook dinner.

Tracy thought that her mother liked to cook. Patti would cook a different meal nearly every night. Cooking had, in fact, become a hobby for Patti during the years of Dave's absence. She could practically run her own restaurant with all of the different recipes she had experimented with. She had even made platters for her friends and co-workers from many of their leftovers. “That Patti sure can cook, girl,” they had all agreed.

Overwhelmed with boredom, Tracy went back to her room to stretch out, napping for three hours. She had low energy and was in need of a rest.

Once nighttime had fallen, she decided to sit out on the patio and watch the stars. It didn't matter that she had no male companion. The stars, the moon and nature seemed company enough. Tracy felt at peace with the night. It had soothed her anxiety. She smiled, sitting there on her steps and thinking about how relaxed she felt. The elements of the night seemed to tell her not to worry. Tracy then decided to call Carl and start things anew, like a new day, after the nighttime had passed by.

“Hello, is this Carl?” she asked, pulling the living-room phone outside with her.

“Yes,” he answered.

“You didn't think I would call you back?”

“I was hoping that you would.”

“Oh, so you couldn't call me, hunh?” she quizzed him.

“Well, I mean, you were the one who started up the argument.”

Yeah, he's right,
she reflected. Tracy then asked him slowly, as if teasing him, “You don't wanna talk to me anymore?”

“Why are you putting words in my mouth? I didn't tell you that.”

“Well, do you?”

Carl smiled and said, “Nope. I just want to take you out to the movies.”

“And what we gonna do after that?” Tracy quizzed him again.

“Say good-bye,” Carl responded to her with a chuckle.

Tracy sighed as a slight wind blew through her thick dyed hair. “That's a shame. And I thought you said you liked me.”

“I do, but you're too complicated, so we'll just remain friends from now on.”

Tracy wanted to snap on him, but the peace of the night directed her to be calm. There would be another day.

“All right then. When do you wanna go?” she asked.

Carl was surprised by her mellowness. “Are you serious?”

Tracy answered, beaming, “Yup, I'm serious.”

“Oh, well, we can go out this Friday, then.”

Tracy agreed and hung up just as her father headed up the walkway, coming home from work.

“Nice night out, hunh?” he asked her pleasantly. He looked beat, and Tracy wasn't sure if it was work or the strain of coming back to the family and being a live-in father again.

“Are you all right, dad?” she asked, concerned about his happiness. She followed him back into the house with the phone in hand.

“Yeah, I'm just tired, as usual.”

“Does the pharmacy take that much out of you?”

“No, not really. I just have to work a lot of crazy different shifts. But why do you ask?”

“Well, I guess I'm just not used to seeing you so tired, that's all.”

Dave smiled and had a seat on the couch. “You remember when you were a little girl and you used to fall asleep right here on my chest?” he asked, pointing to the spot.

Tracy nodded. “Yeah, I remember.”

He chuckled to himself, remembering the times.
Things aren't so
bad here. This is a good family,
he told himself. “Where's your mother?” he asked his daughter.

“In her room.”

“And your brother's asleep?”

“Yup.”

He nodded his head. “Good. That little guy's been trying to stay up too late.”

Tracy was tempted to ask her father a few questions on his perspective on love, marriage and relationships. Yet she was unsure if she wanted to draw attention to herself. She was still hesitant about his views on dating.
Naw, I'll save that discussion for later,
she thought to herself.
Maybe I'll ask Carl a few more questions first.

Friday afternoon, Tracy decided to wear a Kente outfit that Patti had bought for her at the Black Family Reunion Day celebration. Tracy had always thought that it was cute, but she never thought she would actually wear it anytime soon, especially not to school. Nevertheless, she felt that it was safe to wear it on her date with Carl.

She got out her brown sandals and some wooden earrings, waiting for Carl to pick her up, her first date since Charles.

Carl arrived on time, rang the bell and introduced himself to Patti and Jason. He was very respectful to Patti, and she was proud to have a college boy dating her growing daughter. She couldn't wait for Dave to meet him. Tracy had finally decided to move in the right direction.

“Well, are you going in or what?” Carl asked after the date. They sat outside of her house in his dark green Chevy Nova.

Tracy refused to leave the car. “Yeah, but only if you promise me something first,” she said, smiling from the passenger's seat.

“And what's that?”

“Promise me you'll do it, first.”

“No, you're gonna tell me what it is, first.”

Tracy frowned. “Dag, you must don't trust me at all. Do you?”

“It's not about trust, Tracy. I just don't make blind promises.”

“I only wanted you to come over tomorrow to meet my father. Dag. You act like I was gonna ask you to kill yourself.”

Carl smiled and said, “Oh, I'm sorry.”

“What did you think I wanted you to do?” she quizzed.

“I don't know, pretty. You could've said anything.”

Tracy grinned at him. “You a trip.”

Carl grinned back at her and said, “Yes, I know this. So what time do you want me to come over?”

“I'll call you in the morning and let you know. Sometimes my father works late, and sometimes he doesn't.”