Folktales from Bengal (11 page)

Barely covering his
shriek of surprise and fear, he ran out in the balcony, and slipped
on the cow dung, landing on his face on the floor.

Cut, singed, burned, and
covered in cow dung, the thief rubbed his feet on the grass to
clean it before he ran. Needless to say, he stepped on the blade,
and finally, cried out so loudly, that he woke up the
neighbourhood.

Everyone in the vicinity
came out of their houses and surrounded the thief, and who would
lose such a golden opportunity to beat a thief up? The thief got
beaten up so bad, that he could not walk for days.

And the old lady? The
neighbours were so happy that she had helped catch the thief; they
made sure she would never have to beg or go hungry
again.

And the king? He went on
with his daily wonderings about life, death, sickness, health, and
of all others philosophical doodads there are. Although sometimes,
he had a strange craving for pantabhaat, which he never found out
the recipe for.

Once there used to be an
old lady, who had a big louse problem. Her hair was filled with
lice, and whenever she cooked, the lice fell on the rice. This used
to make her husband very mad. One day, when she was serving his
food, a lot of lice fell on the rice, as usual. So, the husband got
really angry, and slapped her. She got really angry now, and
slammed the rice pot on the ground into many pieces, then left
home.

She was walking by the
river, when a crane saw her. He asked,

“
Hey, old
woman. Where are you going?”

The louse lady
replied,

“
My husband
got angry and slapped me,

I am leaving home now,
let me be.”

The crane asked, “Why did
your husband hit you?”

She said,

“
All my head
is full of lice,

Some of it fell into the
rice.”

The crane said, “Lice?
Wonderful. They taste just like ants. How about you live in my
place, and you can cook for me.”

The old woman agreed.
Every day, the crane brought back fish from the river, and the
louse lady used to cook. When he served, the louse fell on the
crane’s rice, and the crane loved it as extra
flavouring.

One day, the crane
brought back a large Hilsha fish. The old woman was cooking the
fish, when she fainted, and fell into the fire.

When the crane got home
and saw this, he was so heartbroken, that he did not eat for seven
days.

The river saw this, and
said, “My oh my, the crane has not eaten for seven days. Hey crane,
what happened?”

The crane said, “Mind
your own business.”

The river said, “Come on,
please tell me.”

The crane said, “Okay.
But if I tell you, your water is going to turn to foam.”

The river agreed, and the
crane said,

“
The louse
lady burnt to death, and so the crane sat fasting.” And
immediately, all the water of the river, turned to foam.

An elephant used to come
to the river to drink water every day. He saw the strange
phenomenon, and asked the river. “What happened?”

The river said, “If I
tell you, your tail will fall off.”

The elephant said, “So be
it.”

The river
said,

“
The louse
lady burnt to death,

And the crane fasted for
seven days,

I asked him then what was
wrong,

He told me, and now I am
foam.”

And immediately, the
elephant’s tail fell off.

The elephant was walking
under a tree, and the tree asked him, “Wow. What happened to your
tail?”

The elephant said, “If I
tell you, your leaves will fall off.”

The tree said, “So be
it.”

The elephant
said,

“
The louse
lady burnt to death,

And the crane fasted for
seven days,

The river’s water turned
to foam,

And left without a tail I
roam.”

Just as he finished, all
the leaves of the tree fell off.

A dove used to live on
the tree. When he got back to his nest, he saw the tree all bald
and bare. He asked,” What happened here? How long was I
gone?”

The tree said, “If I tell
you, your eyes will go blind.”

The dove said, “So be
it.”

The tree said,

“
The louse
lady burnt to death,

The crane fasted for
seven days,

The river’s water turned
to foam,

Without a tail the
elephant roams,

I had to ask him what had
got him,

And now all my leaves
have fallen.”

Immediately, the dove
turned blind.

The blind dove flew to a
field, where a cow herder asked him, “Hey dove, how did your eyes
get blind?”

The dove said, “If I tell
you, your stick is going to get stuck to your hand.

The cow herder said, “So
be it.”

The dove said,

“
The louse
lady burnt to death,

The crane fasted for
seven days,

The river’s water turned
to foam,

Without a tail the
elephant roams,

He told the tree and its
leaves fell,

The tree told me, and now
my eyes aren’t well.”

And of course, the cow
herder’s stick got stuck to his hand. No matter how he shook his
hand, it would not fall.

He went to the king’s
barn, twisting and pulling the stick. The maid was taking out the
trash with a dusting pan, saw him, and asked, “What’s wrong with
you?”

The cow herder said, “If
I tell you, your pan will be stuck to your hand.”

The maid said, “So be
it.”

The cow herder
said,

“
The louse
lady burnt to death,

The crane fasted for
seven days,

The river’s water turned
to foam,

Without a tail the
elephant roams,

He told the tree and its
leaves shrivelled,

The dove went blind
before it drivelled

To me, and I asked him
about his bad luck,

And now, to my hand, this
stick is stuck.”

And the pan got stuck to
the maid’s hand.

When the maid went to the
queen’s home, she still had the pan on her hand.

The queen was holding a
plate to serve food to the king, and asked her, “Why are you
holding on to that silly thing?”

The maid said, “Your
highness. It’s a long story. If I tell you, the plate will be stuck
to your hand.”

The queen said, “Let’s
see how that happens. Tell me.

The maid said,

“
The louse
lady burnt to death,

The crane fasted for
seven days,

The river’s water turned
to foam,

Without a tail the
elephant roams,

He told the tree and its
leaves shrivelled,

The dove went blind
before it drivelled,

To the cow herd, his
stick is stuck to his hand,

I talked with him, and
now I hold the dustpan.”

And the plate got stuck
to the queen’s hand.

She had to serve food to
the king in a separate plate, and had to use her other hand to
serve the food.

The king noticed this
oddity, and asked her, “Why are you holding that plate in your
hand?”

The queen replied, “If I
tell you, you will be stuck to the mat you are sitting
on.”

The king said, “So be
it.”

So the queen
said,

“
The louse
lady burnt to death,

The crane fasted for
seven days,

The river’s water turned
to foam,

Without a tail the
elephant roams,

He told the tree and its
leaves shrivelled,

The dove went blind
before it drivelled,

To the cow herd, his
stick his finger twined,

The pan stuck to the
maid’s hand and this plate to mine.”

And instantly, the king
got stuck to the mat.

But it was time for him
to go to his courtroom. His servants lifted him with the mat, and
put him on to the throne.

All the men in the
courtroom were amazed, but nobody asked the king about his strange
condition, fearing for their lives. There was an awkward silence in
the court. Eventually, the king said,

“
I bet all of
you want to know what happened to me.”

The courtmen nodded in
unison.

The king said, “If I tell
you, all of you will be stuck to your seats.”

The courtmen agreed, and
the king said,

“
The louse
lady burnt to death,

The crane fasted for
seven days,

The river’s water turned
to foam,

Without a tail the
elephant roams,

He told the tree and its
leaves shrivelled,

The dove went blind
before it drivelled,

To the cow herd, his
stick his finger twined,

A pan stuck to the maid
and a plate to the queen.

I thought it was all
superstition,

Now I can’t move from the
mat I sat on.”

And immediately, all the
noblemen got stuck to their respective seats.

Luckily, there was a very
clever jester in the court, and he called in a carpenter, to cut
the men loose from their seats, and also the king. A little wood
that was stuck to their behinds was chiselled off.

The plate on the queen’s
hand, the maid’s pan, and the cow herder’s stick were also removed.
And everyone learned to mind their own business.

In front of the gate to
the king’s palace, there was a large cage enclosing a tiger. The
king’s tiger. Every day people stared at the tiger when passing by,
and the tiger asked them, “Brother, please open the door to my
cage.”

And the people smirked
and replied, “Yeah, we do that, and you break our neck. Not gonna
happen.”

One day, there was a big
feast at the king’s palace. So a lot of people were flooding in. A
very gullible Brahmin was also among the guests. It was early
morning, and the Brahmin had come to rest under a tree, when he
spotted the tiger. Seeing the Brahmin, the tiger fell to its knees,
and began to salute him again and again.

The Brahmin thought,
“Bah, what a nice tiger.”

The tiger said, “Please,
Mr Brahmin, I am begging you. Please open the door to my
cage.”

The Brahmin obliged, and
the tiger came out laughing, and said, “Brahmin. I am going to eat
you now.”

If it were someone else,
he would have run for it. But the Brahmin was not a good runner. He
said, “Huh? I just saved your life, and you want to eat me? Who
does something like that?”

“
Why,
everyone does it.”

The Brahmin said, “Fine.
Let’s ask three witnesses. If they agree to you, you will eat me.
If they agree to me, I go away.”

The tiger said, “Fine by
me.”

They went to a field to
find witnesses. There was a small path separating two rice fields.
The Brahmin came to the path, and said, “This path is my first
witness.”

The Brahmin asked the
path, “Path, do tell me. If I do someone good, will he do something
bad to me?”

The path replied, “Of
course he will. Look at me! I let people walk over me. I keep their
farms separated. I stop one man’s irrigation from entering
another’s. But what do they do? They cut me with their ploughs to
increase their farmlands.”

The tiger said, “See? I
was right. If someone does you good, you have to harm
them.”

The Brahmin said, “Wait.
I still have two witnesses left.”

The tiger said, “So be
it.”

They went along a little
bit far, and came across a banyan tree. The Brahmin said, “This is
my second witness.”

The tiger said, “Ask him.
See what he has to say.”

“
Oh banyan
tree,” said the Brahmin. “You are old and wise. You tell us. If I
do someone good, will he harm me?”

“
Well, people
do that all the time. Look at those people over there. They rested
under me at night. In the morning, they poked me to get my sap.
They tore my leaves to take the sap with them, and one of them
broke a branch from me for no good reason.”

The tiger said, “See?
What did I tell you?”

Now the Brahmin was in
trouble. He was worried he would not get a third witness who could
support him. Luckily, a fox was passing by. The Brahmin said, “That
is my last witness.”