Follow Me Down (13 page)

I wanted to scream, but bit down on my lip. The pair of them were either too drunk – or stubborn – to respond to logic. I have no idea what Orla did to piss them off, but she’d been shunned like the Amish girl who’d been caught with the flat irons.

‘
Now
he is.’ Molly shook her head. ‘But Dominic Sim says that there are photos of him up at Eton and he was
really
ugly when he was our age.’

‘No way!’ Scarlett looked appalled.

‘Yeah. He was lanky and his nose was too big for his face. He’s definitely grown into his looks.’ Molly nodded when we stared at her. ‘He must be
loving
the attention he’s getting now. He could have any girl at Crofton he wanted. Abbey Ascot found out his mobile number and has been texting him pictures of her breasts.’

‘Yes. Well,’ Scarlett said with a shake of her head before she finished her drink. ‘He’s gorgeous
now
and there’s no way he’d risk losing his job here for someone like Orla Roberts.’

I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t help it. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘I’m just saying, Adamma,’ Scarlett said, sighing and waving her empty cup. ‘Orla was fifteen last year. Even if he could prove consent, it’s still Statutory Rape. He’d never work again. There’s no way he’d risk it. His family isn’t like ours. His father’s a mechanic, or something. He went to Eton on a scholarship. If he lost this job, he’d be back to living with his parents on a council estate in Sheffield.’

‘A council estate?’ Molly asked and when Scarlett nodded, she said, ‘Ew.’

‘He wouldn’t risk that for someone like Orla Roberts.’

I held my hands up and stepped back. ‘I have to go.’

I’d heard enough. Scarlett had said nothing to convince me that Orla was lying, but had said more than enough to convince me that she wasn’t who I’d thought she was. I tried not to look at her, but I couldn’t help it, I was so disappointed.

I guess she knew that, because she stared at me, her cheeks flushed. ‘What? We’re not saying anything that isn’t true, Adamma.’

‘Exactly,’ Molly added. ‘Everyone knows that Orla’s a lying bitch, Adamma.’

I shot a look at her. ‘Don’t call her that.’

Molly stared at me, her lips parted, and I could hear my heart in my ears again as Scarlett took a step towards me. But I wasn’t scared this time, I was livid. ‘Sorry, Adamma. Did we say something about your new best friend?’

It was so juvenile, I almost laughed. But I didn’t want to dignify it with a response, so I just shook my head as Sam swaggered over.

‘Everything OK, ladies?’ he asked with a smile so smug that, if he was a cat, he would have had feathers poking out of the corners of his mouth.

‘Fine,’ we said in unison.

He chuckled, then reached between us for a bottle of beer, but before he swaggered away again, he reached for Scarlett’s hand and squeezed it. I don’t think they knew I saw, but I did, and I would have dismissed it because it was Sam, but he squeezed her hand, not her hip or her ass, but her
hand
and finally –
finally
– I put two and two together and got, OH GOD. I’M GOING TO BE SICK.

Scarlett was seeing Sam.

That explained why she said all of that about Orla. But that made it worse, somehow. If she’d said it because she actually
believed
it, I’d understand, but the fact that she’d said it out of jealousy made it more despicable, especially as, if the photo I’d seen on Dominic’s camera was anything to go by, she’d been seeing him, as well.

I couldn’t look at her, scared that I would say something I couldn’t take back, so I turned and walked away, my heels sinking into the damp forest floor as I wove between the trees towards the road. After a few minutes, the sound of the music began to fade and I stopped to suck in a long breath that seemed to make each of my bones rattle. I sighed it back out again and in the moment of quiet that followed, I heard it, a twig snapping – then another and another and another – and suddenly my breathing was hysterical again as I looked around frantically.

I’d held my breath during the walk to Savernake Forest with Molly, my heart jumping up in my chest like a startled cat each time I heard something or saw a shadow between the trees. I guess I was so angry when I stormed away from Scarlett and Molly that I’d forgotten about the threat, about what had happened to Orla, but I was suddenly achingly aware of it: a voice in my head roaring at me to run. But before I could tug my heel out of the earth, someone emerged from between the trees and I put a hand to my chest.

‘Jesus, Dominic,’ I gasped, my heart still thundering.

‘Where are you going?’

‘I’m getting the hell out of Dodge,’ I told him, turning and continuing to walk towards the road. It hadn’t felt this far when I’d come with Molly earlier.

‘What was that about?’ he asked, walking alongside me.

I eyed him carefully. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’

‘You’re shit out of luck if you think I’m letting you walk back to Burnham by yourself.’

‘I’ll be fine.’

‘Really?’ He nodded in the opposite direction. ‘The road’s that way.’

‘I knew that,’ I told him with a scowl and began stomping the other way.

‘OK, Miss Okomma.’

We walked in silence, him watching and offering his hand every now and then as I navigated over the cluttered forest floor in my heels. I refused it each time, so was grateful when the trees parted and the road finally came into sight. It wasn’t lit, but the break in the foliage let the moonlight in so I could see the long line of the tarmac and the chewed-stone pillars further up. He turned to hold out his hand as he stepped onto it, but I didn’t take it, too concerned for my heels as I heaved my feet out of the mud. You’d think I’d have learned my lesson after the day of the hockey match.

‘So what’s up with you and Scarlett?’ he asked when I joined him on the road, but I ignored him and he chuckled. ‘I told you so.’

I crossed my arms. ‘Told me what?’

‘That if you want to be friends with Scarlett you’d better get used to that.’ He nodded back down the road towards the party.

‘That
what
?’

‘Whatever you were arguing about. Sam, I assume.’

I thought of Sam, reaching for Scarlett’s hand, and almost missed a step.

‘You know?’

He wouldn’t look at me. ‘I don’t know anything,’ he said, pausing to chew on the corner of his mouth. ‘Sam says nothing’s going on, so I guess nothing’s going on.’

‘Do you believe him?’

‘He’s my cousin.’

‘That isn’t a yes, by the way.’

I turned my cheek towards him, but when he wouldn’t look at me, his forehead creased as he stared at the stone pillars at the top of the road. I suddenly felt so sorry for him. It must be awful to be in love with someone like Scarlett, to hope that she takes you with her the next time she runs. To hope you’ll love her more than the next guy promises to. And the next guy. And the next guy. And the next guy.

‘We weren’t arguing about—’ I started to say, then jumped, my hand flying to my chest as I heard a twig snap somewhere between the trees next to me. But before I could look to see what it was, Dominic took me by the arm and tugged me back so that I was behind him.

‘I thought the Chloe Poole thing was bullshit?’ I breathed, and I had to suck in a breath before I did, my heart hammering as he peered at the black tangle of trees.

‘It’s nothing. Just a bird,’ he muttered, letting go of my arm, but he sounded almost robotic, like an automated message.
Press 0 to connect to the Operator
.

When my breathing had settled and we began walking in step again, I turned to look at him. ‘I spoke to her, by the way.’

‘To who?’ he asked, glancing at the trees again.

‘Chloe Poole.’

He looked at me then and the skin between his eyebrows creased. ‘When?’

‘The day you told me.’

‘What did she say?’

‘It’s a long story, but let’s just say you got the wrong hockey player.’

It was suddenly so quiet, I could hear him breathing and it made me uneasy. Perhaps he was processing it, but there was something about his gait, about the way his chin was up and his hands were in his pockets, that seemed a little too relaxed.

‘You don’t seem surprised, Dominic.’

‘Nothing at this school surprises me any more,’ he said, but I knew.

‘Scarlett told you.’

He sighed and shook his head. ‘Don’t be mad at her.’

‘I’m already mad at her.’

‘She was worried.’

I almost choked on a laugh, too angry to respond as I crossed my arms and recalled what she’d just said about Orla.

‘What did the police say?’

She’d told him that, too? So much for crossing her heart.

‘They can’t do anything unless she reports it.’

He stopped. I did, too, and when I eventually lifted my chin to look up at him, I was so surprised to find him looking sad, that my arms dropped to my sides.

‘I hope she’s OK,’ he said, softly. ‘Do you think she’ll be OK?’

‘She will be.’

He nodded, looking at me from under his dark eyelashes, and I don’t know if I reached for his hand or if he reached for mine, I just remember thinking that I had to do something a second before I felt his fingers between mine. But before our palms touched, I heard someone say, ‘Well, this is becoming quite a habit, isn’t it?’ and we sprang apart to find Scarlett watching us.

When I caught my breath, I held my hands up. ‘Scarlett,
please
. I’m cold and tired and my feet hurt. I can’t argue with you any more tonight.’

‘I came to apologise, actually,’ she said, her arms crossed, and I know it was an effort for her to say something like that. I guess Dominic did, too, because he told me that he’d wait for me by the pillars and started walking up the road.

When he was far enough away, she took a step towards me, her arms still crossed. ‘You drive me nuts, Adamma, you know that, right?’

I stared at her. I know it was as close as Scarlett Chiltern got to an apology, but I still wasn’t going to let her get away with it.

‘I know you’ve never done this before, Scarlett, but you should know: telling someone you’re trying to apologise to that they drive you nuts? Not an apology.’

‘You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?’ Her gaze narrowed and when I returned the favour, she threw her arms out. ‘Fine.
I’m sorry
.’

I continued staring at her for a moment or two, then gave in with a huff.

‘See?’ I arched an eyebrow at her. ‘That wasn’t so bad, was it?’

‘It actually physically hurt, Adamma,’ she said with a theatrical sigh.

When she pouted, I had to fight a smile, and I kind of hate that, how the line between wanting to slap her and hug her is usually only a sentence. But she knows that, too, I think. She knows that line better than I do, it’s her catwalk.

‘But don’t you feel better?’

‘No. I still don’t like Orla.’

I could feel myself losing my temper again. ‘All of this for a boy? You said all of those nasty things about Orla because of a boy? Really, Scarlett,’ I snapped, and I didn’t realise that I was looking over her shoulder at Dominic until I told myself to stop.

‘A boy?’ She blinked at me, then threw her head back and laughed.

I didn’t know what was so funny until she nudged me with her hip and
God help me
, I want to kill her sometimes, but then she does something like that.

‘I’ve missed you too,’ I told her, nudging her back and she grinned.

We hugged wildly, giggling and grinning like a couple reunited after the war, and when we turned to walk back up the road towards Dominic, she said, ‘You have to do me a favour, though, Adamma, you have to stop being so bloody perfect all the time. I can’t decide if I love or hate that about you. You make me feel like shit.’

I elbowed her in the side. ‘I’m not trying to.’

‘Well, stop.’ She elbowed me back. ‘You’re making me look bad.’

‘Sorry.’

‘I have a reputation to maintain, Adamma –’ she paused to flick her hair – ‘and here I am, apologising and trying to be a better person. Olivia will be thrilled.’

‘I won’t tell her, I promise.’

‘Don’t tell her what I said about Orla, either. She’ll beat me to death with Mum’s copy of
The Female Eunuch
.’

We walked the rest of the way, chuckling, but just before we got to the stone pillars where Dominic was waiting, she looked at me. ‘I don’t mean everything I say, you know,’ she said with a shrug, and I almost laughed.

That’s the trouble.

2 DAYS AFTER

MAY

I’ve never lied to my parents before. I mean, I have, of course. I’ve told white lies,
I got it half off
lies and
I promise there won’t be any boys there, Papa
lies, but I’ve never lied like that. I’ve never been unable to look them in the eye when I told them.

Mercifully, my father was too pissed at DS Hanlon to notice and after giving me another thorough telling-off about talking to the police without telling him, he and my mother told me that they didn’t want me to miss any more classes and headed back to London. As soon as they did, I got my other cellphone out of my tuck box and called him. It went straight to voicemail, which it always does now, so I left a message telling him to meet me in the prop room at the end of the day. I went back to my room to check my phone at lunch, but when he hadn’t replied, I felt a slow curl of dread and instead of heading to the prop room at 3 o’clock, I went to the car park and, sure enough, I saw him getting into his car.

I had to run, otherwise I would have missed him. He must have heard me, feet splashing in the gravel, because he looked up. When he saw that it was me, his face hardened and there was a moment – I saw it, I’m sure – when his gaze flicked to the door of his car as he wondered if he could get in before I got to him.

‘Adamma,’ he hissed, one hand still on the car door. ‘What are you doing?’

‘I’ve been calling and calling,’ I said, breathless.

‘I left our phone at home.’

‘You never leave it at home.’

‘I know,’ he said lowering his voice as his gaze darted around the car park. ‘But everyone’s been on high alert since the appeal this morning; I was worried someone would see it.’

That made sense, but it still didn’t make me feel better.

‘But aren’t you going out of your mind? Don’t you want to know what happened at the police station earlier?’

‘Of course, but not here.
Please
.’

As if on cue, a car rolled past and I humoured him, taking a book out of my bag and handing it to him.

‘Let’s go somewhere,’ I pleaded when he took it, nodding at his car.

‘Now? School’s kicking out and you want to go somewhere
now
?’

‘Please. I need to speak to you.’

I was so dizzy with panic I could barely get the words out and I think he was too, because when he opened the book and pretended to leaf through it, his hands were shaking. ‘Not here,’ he said, so quietly I almost didn’t hear him. ‘We need to be careful.’

‘But what about Paris this weekend? We’re still going, right?’

He looked up from the book. ‘What?
Now?
We can’t. Are you mad?’

‘But—’ I started to say, taking a step towards him, but before I could finish, I heard someone say his name. He looked over, giving them a nod and a smile, then muttered something about Thomas Hardy at me before giving the book back.

‘I’ll call you,’ he said through his teeth, turning to get in his car.

I panicked, my heart racing as I reached for the door with my hand before he could get in and close it. ‘Why does Scarlett have a disposable cellphone?’

He looked at my hand, then at me. ‘What?’

‘Why does Scarlett have a disposable phone?’

‘How should I know?’

I stared at him as I waited for my heart to settle, but it wouldn’t. And I love him –
I love him
– so I should have left it, but I couldn’t.

I couldn’t.

‘It’s a bit of a coincidence, don’t you think? That we have the same phone.’

He straightened and turned to face me, the car door between us.

‘Come on, Adamma, this isn’t like you. Just say it.’

‘Fine.’ I lifted my chin and took a breath. ‘Are you seeing her as well?’

He didn’t flinch. ‘We have a history, you know we do, but no, I’m not.’

I waited for my heart to settle, for it to make me feel better. It didn’t.

I think he knew that, because he frowned. ‘Do you believe me?’

I hesitated as I looked over his shoulder to see a guy walk past carrying a cricket bag. I waited until he was out of sight, then let go of a breath.

‘Hey.’ He reached around the car door to squeeze my hand and it was nothing – not the hug I needed, the kiss – but it was enough to bring me back. I looked at him, my heart rattling for a different reason as he smiled. ‘Do you trust me?’

I arched an eyebrow. ‘I don’t trust her,’ I told him and he smiled.

I forgot that it was Tuesday and swimming practice started early, so I was late and I had to do forty lengths, which was a relief; I needed the distraction, especially when I realised that Olivia wasn’t there, her red and white spotty towel not on the hooks with the others in the changing room. But even after a two-hour practice, my brain was still jumping in all directions, like a bird flying from rooftop to rooftop, so before dinner, I asked Mrs Delaney if I could go for a run. I was already in my running gear, which, with hindsight, was a little presumptuous, but she seemed more anxious than put out. I thought she was still recovering from what had happened at the police station this morning, but when I told her that I was going to Savernake Forest and she started playing with her wedding ring, I realised that she was nervous.

‘Just to the gates and back, Miss Okomma,’ she said, zipping up my vest and giving me a look that made something in my chest feel too tight.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen Mrs Delaney scared.

As I was jogging down the path towards the Green, I met a group of Lower College girls shuffling down it towards the library. I stepped out of their way and onto the Green and when they watched me do it, bumping into one another as they did, I felt my whole body tense as I realised that it was more than the usual awe of watching an Upper College girl who is allowed to walk on the grass. They were
staring
.

I pretended not to notice, but I felt a sudden weakness in my legs as I continued across the Green. I’d hoped it would pass, but it’s been happening all day – the whispers, the stares – ever since I got back from the police station, and while being talked about at Crofton is something I’ve come to accept since I fell out with Scarlett, I don’t think it’s something I’ll ever be used to. So I ran and ran, all the way to Savernake Forest. My legs were shaking by the time I got there and I was tempted to stop when I got to the mossy stone pillars at the entrance, but I kept going.

Every morning, the forest gets greener, the skeletons of the trees filling out with new leaves so bright, they look freshly painted. Today it smelt fresher too. I know green doesn’t have a smell, but if it did, it would smell like Savernake Forest in May – sharp and crisp and new, like green apple peelings.

Last week, the ground beneath the trees erupted with thousands of bluebells until the forest floor was Monet-painting purple, just like he said it would be. They were so beautiful that I swooned the first time I saw them, their bell-shaped petals, heavy with dew. But this afternoon I didn’t look at them, I just ran and ran, up the uneven road towards the gates.
Keep going
, I told myself when finally I saw the shape of them in the distance. I don’t know why I turned my head, how I saw the flash of green between the pencil-thin trunks of the beech trees, but I did and I stopped.

I knew, before I approached it, before I saw the thick back bumper and the muddied tail light. But I had to stare at it for a few moments before it registered.

The Old Dear.

I stumbled towards it, approaching it with my hands up as though it was a rabid dog that might go for me. I hesitated before I looked inside and it took a few attempts before I was brave enough to peer through the dirty window. It was empty except for a half-empty bottle of water and an
A to Z
on the passenger seat and I let go of a breath. I don’t know what I had expected, whether I thought she’d be in there, but I could feel my heart throbbing as I took a step back and reached into my pocket for my cell.

‘Buffy,’ Bones sighed, answering on the second ring. ‘I’m sorry about this morning. Hanlon has a thing about Crofton kids,’ he babbled on while I tried to catch my breath. ‘She’s worked on too many cases that have fallen apart because
Daddy’s a QC
that I guess she just assumes the worst and—’

‘Bones!’ I didn’t mean to shout, but I had to make him stop.

‘What? What’s wrong?’

‘I’ve found her car.’