Fool for Love (2 page)

All the lingering doubts from the last
thirteen years came roaring back to remind her that there had been plenty of
warning signs, and she'd ignored every one of them.

Like when he'd discouraged her from going
to vet school. The loans will kill us, he'd said. Only one of them should go to
medical school, he'd argued, because island practices won't generate enough
income to pay off all those loans with enough left over to support them and the
four kids they'd planned to have.

Like the fool she was, she'd gone along
with him, settling for a job as a technician at the island vet's office when
she'd had the undergraduate grades to get into a top veterinary school. Six
years of cleaning up dog poop and grooming poodles, killing time until the day
she'd be the wife of the island's only doctor and could stay home to raise
their children: David Jr., Anna, Henry and Ella. They'd named them when they
were just seventeen.

A sob erupted from her throat. All her
dreams crushed to dust in one unbelievable moment.

Tuning into her misery, Joe unbuckled her
seat belt and drew her over to rest her head on his shoulder.

For reasons they'd never discussed or
acknowledged, he was probably the very last person she should've called.
However, with her brother, parents and closest friends all on the island and
her other three brothers out of state, there hadn't been much choice. Resting
her head on his strong, dependable shoulder, Janey knew she could count on his
discretion, even if she was putting him in the difficult position of serving as
her knight in shining armor.

"I'm sure it doesn't seem possible
right now, but you'll get through this, Janey. I know you will."

"I wish I was so sure."

"You deserve so much better than
someone who leaves you alone for years and then cheats on you."

His gently spoken words reduced her once again
to tears. Just when she thought there couldn't possibly be more, there were.

"I'm sorry," he said, sounding
mad with himself. "I shouldn't have said that."

"S'okay," she said between sobs.
"It's nothing I haven't already told myself."

He ran a comforting hand up and down her
arm, and Janey sank into the warmth of his embrace.

"Hang in there. We're almost
home."

Where was home now that David was no
longer a part of her life? What would she do? Where would she live? Who would
she lean on and make love with and laugh with? They'd had so many plans… Her
head ached and her eyes burned, but still the tears continued to cascade down
her cheeks.

The best part was that he didn't even know
she'd seen him. He had no idea their life together was over. Would he even care
when he found out? Did he still love her? If so, how could he sleep with
someone else? How could he do that to her? To
them?

Janey had never before wished so strongly
for a switch she could flip to shut off her tired brain. Her eyes burned closed,
and she didn't try to fight the darkness. In fact, she welcomed it.

Joe gnawed on his bottom lip until the taste of blood caught his attention.
Tension coiled in his neck and back as he held her close to him. He suspected
Janey had fallen asleep, which was just as well. She needed a respite from the
pain, and he hoped she'd find it in dreamless sleep.

Twenty minutes later, he pulled into his
driveway just as the moon was rising over Shelter Harbor. He sat there for a
long time pondering the implications. Bringing her here was a huge mistake. A
mistake, in fact, of epic proportions. Just being around her was sheer torture,
and now she'd be under his roof for who knew how long. Heartbroken and
shattered and unaware of all he felt for her.

He gritted his teeth and accepted the
inevitable. He'd offered her a place to stay, and he couldn't undo the
invitation. Besides, even if he could, he wouldn't. Perhaps he was some sort of
masochist after all. Having Janey, even in her current condition, was better
than not having Janey. A tiny spark of hope glimmered just beneath the surface
of his current quandary, reminding him that he was the worst kind of fool—a man
who'd spent a large chunk of his life in love with a woman he couldn't have.

But she was here now—in his truck, in his
arms and in his house. Maybe this was all he'd ever have of her. As he lifted
her gingerly from the truck and carried her inside, he told himself it was
enough.

Joe settled her into his bed, drew the covers up over
her, and sat on the edge of the mattress. Her blonde hair fanned out on his
pillow, and her pink lips formed a perfect pucker. She was so beautiful, even
with red splotches on her cheeks and a runny, wet nose. Her breathing continued
to hitch with sobs, each one of them a spike to Joe's over-involved heart.

There was nothing he wouldn't do, nothing
he wouldn't give to lessen her pain. He brushed the hair back from her
forehead, and even though he knew it wasn't wise, he trailed a finger over her
soft cheek.

She murmured in her sleep.

As if he'd touched something hot, Joe
pulled back his hand and got up to leave the room while he still could. In the
hallway, he leaned his forehead against the wall. The longer he stood there,
the more ridiculous the situation became. Her scent would cling to his sheets
and pillows. Anytime he glanced at that bed in the future, he'd see her there.
He banged his head against the wall. Only when the pain started to register did
he stop.

Rubbing the sore spot on his forehead, Joe
went to the kitchen to clean up the remnants of the dinner he hadn't gotten to
eat. Normally, he'd be starving by now, but he was so churned up that the
thought of eating made him sick.

Even though he'd promised he wouldn't call
her brother, Joe took his cell phone and a beer with him to the back deck. He
cracked open the beer and scrolled through the numbers on his phone until he
found Mac's.

"Hey, buddy," Mac said.
Happiness all but radiated from his friend since he fell for Maddie Chester,
and Joe couldn't be happier for both of them.

"How's it going?"

"Busy. Wedding craziness and the
marina is cranking."

"The big day will be here before you
know it."

"Maddie's mother is due home in a few
days, and then we'll be down to the seven-day countdown."

"Have you ever met her?" Joe
asked, stalling. "The mother? I've heard she's a piece of work."

"No, but I've gotten the
high-maintenance impression from Maddie. Of course the whole prison thing
paints a certain picture…"

Despite the tension that gripped him, Joe
laughed. "Imagine writing enough bad checks to get thrown in the
can."

"I can't. The whole thing is so
embarrassing to Maddie."

"I'm sure. So, um, listen…"

"What's going on, Joe? You sound
kinda funny."

Joe closed his eyes, sucked in a deep
breath and took the plunge. "Janey's here."

"What do you mean? She's with
David."

"No, she isn't. She's here. At my
house."

"What the hell?"

"Something happened with him. She's
not hurt, at least not physically, but she's pretty shook up."

"Wait a minute," Mac said, his
tone tight with frustration. "Start at the beginning."

"I know this'll piss you off, but
you'll have to hear it from her. She didn't even want me to call you, but I
thought you should know where she is." In the back of Joe's mind was a bit
of self-preservation, too. If Mac entrusted his sister's care to Joe, there was
no way he would allow his own emotions into the equation. As crazy as it
sounded—even to him—Joe saw this call as an emotional insurance policy of
sorts.

"How did she end up with you?"

"Her car broke down, and she called
me."

Mac was silent for a long time.

"What?" Joe finally asked.
"Just say it, will you?"

"You really think you're the right
person to nurse her through a crisis with David?" Joe had expected the question.
After all, Mac was the only other person on earth who knew how Joe felt about
her. Mac had kept the secret for almost as long as Joe had.

"I'm the one she called, Mac. What
was I supposed to do?"

"Exactly what you did, I suppose.
I'll be over in the morning to get her."

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. She needs some time to
get herself together before she has to face everyone on the island. It's what
she needs right now."

"And you're suddenly an expert on
what she needs?"

"Don't push me on this. One of us
will call you in a few days. Until then, butt out."

"I swear to God—"

"Save it, Mac! If you can't trust me
to take care of her, who
can
you trust?"

Apparently, his oldest and best friend had
nothing to say to that.

"I don't want to see you hurt,
either," Mac said quietly.

At that, some of the wind left Joe's
sails. "I'm dealing with it."

"Be careful, man. You don't want to
end up worse off after the dust settles."

"How could I be worse off?" Joe
asked with a sarcastic chuckle. "Can you tell me that?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I wish
you'd tell me what he did."

"Use your imagination. Go to
worst-case scenario and take it from there."

"Son of a bitch," Mac muttered.

"Exactly."

"Since you're taking care of her,
maybe I'll go take care of him."

Joe expected nothing less from Janey's
doting older brother. "I know it's hard for you to sit there and do
nothing, but you have to wait and take your cues from her on this one."

Mac released a rattling deep breath, and
Joe had no doubt his friend was calling upon every ounce of self-control he
possessed to keep from renting a plane and flying to Boston that very minute.
It was a good thing for David Lawrence that Mac McCarthy was stuck on an island
right then. For that matter, it was a good thing for David Lawrence that Joe
Cantrell was more concerned with caring for Janey than he was with killing her
wayward fiancé.

"I'm going to hurt him," Mac
vowed.

"When the time is right, I'll help
you."

After retrieving her bag from the truck, Joe checked on Janey and found her
sleeping soundly, which was a relief. He couldn't deal with any more of her
suffering just then, not when he was managing a good bit of his own. Leaving
her bag next to the bed where she could find it if she woke up in the night, he
took a pillow and a light blanket from the closet.

In the living room, he stripped down to
boxers and stretched out on the sofa. Off in the distance, the moon silvered
the harbor, but all Joe could see was Janey, hunched over the wheel of her car,
devastated and alone. His hands rolled into fists. Oh, how he'd love five
minutes alone with David Lawrence! However, while one part of him wanted to
pound the cheating dog into the ground, another part wanted to send him an
engraved thank-you note.

Maybe now… Maybe after she recovered from
the blow and got back on her feet… Maybe there'd be a chance for them. He let
the idea run around in his mind for a good five minutes, the fantasies coming
to vivid life before reality came crashing back to remind him it was hopeless.
Who did he think he was kidding? She saw him as an extra older brother, no
different than the four others her parents had provided. Never would she see
him as anything other than what he'd always been—a close friend of Mac's and,
by extension, a friend of hers, too. Despondency crept over him like a heavy,
wet blanket.

Damn it! Why'd she have to call
him
of all people? Why couldn't he have gone on with his evening, none the wiser to
the drama unfolding in Boston? Of course he would have found out eventually, but
he wouldn't have had to witness her devastation firsthand.

Most of the time, he dealt just fine with
his unrequited love for her. Sure, there were times—like earlier today as she'd
boarded the ferry on her way to surprise David—when it was agonizing to love a
woman who loved someone else. But most of the time, it was something that was
just
there
, as much a part of him as the birthmark on his thigh or the
funky pinky toe on his left foot that curled inward.

He'd long ago accepted that she was a part
of his DNA. She owned his heart, even if she didn't know it. That didn't mean
his life was meaningless. Quite the opposite. He had great friends, owned a
thriving, successful business that he loved and had no shortage of women
willing to warm his bed on cold New England nights.

No, loving Janey McCarthy hadn't ruined
his life. At least not yet. But now… Now that she'd been here, in the house
he'd built with his own hands… Joe rested an arm over his eyes, wishing he
could hide from the myriad emotions storming around inside him. Everything he'd
ever wanted was asleep in his bed. And he was out here, one room away but light
years from what he most desired.