Fool for Love (Believe #2) (28 page)

“What are you doing to me, waif?” I whisper so softly that I won’t risk waking her. “In what universe would I ever be allowed to have you in my life?”

Sighing, I shift on the bed and try to find some rest.

But it won’t come, and I lie awake all night, pondering my next move.

A
SOFT KISS ON
my forehead wakes me up. A warm hand caresses my cheek, and I hold my breath as the arm I’m resting on slides free from underneath me. The bed sinks, and even though I keep my eyes closed, I feel it the instant that Garrett leaves my side. A sense of loss fills me as I hear his footsteps walk away, and I sigh softly.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that he won’t stay with me, but it still stings a bit.

Strangely enough, I don’t feel any pounding in my head, just a dull throbbing from my excessive drinking last night. Images of my sorry sob story about life with my parents and the look of Garrett’s gaze when I told him about my dad slapping my cheek flitter through my mind. I roll to my back, an arm resting over my eyes.

“Suzy,” Garrett’s voice calls to me. When I hear the softness instead of the usual demanding roughness that I’ve come to expect, my eyes pop open, and I look down the length of the bed until my eyes find him. His hands are in his pockets, and while his stance seems to be relaxed, I can’t help but notice that his jaw is clenched.

“Good morning,” I yawn and stretch languidly. I blink the sleep away from the corners of my eyes and focus on him.

“How are you feeling?” he asks me as he sits down, one foot on the floor, his body turned sideways towards me.

“Fine,” I squeak and clear my throat. “I mean, I’m very embarrassed about blurting everything out like that, and I know it must have been tedious, and seemed like no big deal, and –” I babble like a lunatic.

“Stop,” he orders, but his voice is still gentle. The corners of his eyes crinkle, and warmth fills his eyes.

I could get lost in those eyes.

“There’s no need to be embarrassed, and it wasn’t tedious at all,” he reassures me, and then looks down in his lap.

“Growing up, I…” he stops, and I bite my lip, waiting with bated breath for him to continue. I have a feeling he’s about to reveal more of himself, to let his mask slip a little bit further. I’m eager for more of him.

“Well, I never doubted the affection of my parents,” he starts, and stops again. “Our home was always filled with noise and laughter. Not to say that we never argued. We did; but we couldn’t hold grudges, not back then.” His voice trails off, and he scrubs a hand over his beard before meeting my eyes again. The vulnerability I see in them takes my breath away, and I long to wrap my arms around him. But he wouldn’t like that, so instead, I sit up and cross my legs, eager to hear more.

“Go on, please,” I whisper, afraid that if I raise my voice the moment will be lost and he’ll shut down on me.

He surprises me by shifting closer towards me, so he sits cross-legged opposite me.

“My dad, Robert, was, and still is a successful lawyer. He practices criminal law – and while he usually worked late, he would always come in and say goodnight to me and my brothers when he got home. He would listen to our troubles, or just smile as we relayed our days. And he would try to keep his weekends clear so we could go to the park and play baseball. My mama, Sophia, didn’t work – she said she had enough on her plate with running the household and making sure us rascals didn’t tear down the house.”

He grins, and I can’t help but laugh a little with the images he paints me of his past.

“How many brothers do you have?” I ask him.

The grin disappears rapidly, and he scowls, tension overtaking his features.

“Only one left.”

“What?”

He stands abruptly. “Let it go, Suzy,” he grunts and then walks away from me. He whistles at Rufus who, I now notice, is lying on the couch. The dog jumps down and trots closer to Garrett.

Disappointment mingled with sadness tears through my heart, and I scramble off the bed.

“Garrett, I’m sorry…”

“Just – just let it go, alright?” He pulls on a hooded sweatshirt, his movements quick and to the point. Rufus starts jumping around when Garrett takes the leash from the peg behind the door, but he sits down, body vibrating with eagerness when Garrett bends to put it on him.

“I’m going running,” he mutters.

I take a step further towards him.

“Garrett, please…”

“Don’t!” he snaps. I flinch at the harshness in his voice. He’s breathing hard, and his jaw is clenched so tight I can almost hear him grinding his teeth.

“I’ll be back later,” he whispers, before he walks away, Rufus trotting happily beside him.

My heart is heavy, and suppressed tears fill my eyes. The lump in my throat grows bigger as I watch his retreating back; pain pierces my heart when the door slams shut.

Why? Why, Garrett? Let me in…

My feelings are all over the place. How can even the simplest questions exert such a transformation in him? I’m confused and hurt; but most of all, I’m enraged.

“You stupid man!” I yell at the door even though it’s futile. I don’t expect Garrett to storm back inside, having had a change of heart all of a sudden, and to give me all the answers to his secrets. But as if I’m not in control of my own limbs, I run to the door, wrench it open and take off running after him, not caring in the least that I’m barefoot and barely dressed. He’s entering the elevator as I tear after him.

“You are one fucking arsehole!” I shout.

His head snaps up and his hand lashes out to prevent the doors from closing.

Breath heaving, I stop in front of him.

“How dare you?” I seethe, the full force of my adrenaline rush hitting me. “I mean, how fucking
dare
you to keep shutting me down like that? Last night, I revealed a part of my life that hurts me deeply, and do you think that was easy? Opening myself up to you like that?”

Tears course down my cheeks, but I wipe them away. His shuttered gaze holds mine, and I refuse to let him leave before I’ve given him a peace of my mind.

“
No!
It bloody well wasn’t, Garrett, but do you know what? For some inane reason, I trust you with everything that I am, and
that’s
why I told you.” I laugh, but there’s no joy in the sound. “I guess that makes me one hell of a fool, doesn’t it? Believing that I was finally getting somewhere with you. Ha! What a lark.”

The fight leaves my body as quickly as it took over, and I shake my head at him.

“If you’d only trust me,” I whisper, “I’d give you the world. But you won’t, will you?”

The pain screaming at me from his eyes almost makes my resolve grow weak; but as he remains silent as usual, I refuse to give in. Not this time.

“I see that silence is the only answer you are willing to give me.”

“It’s the only thing I
can
give you, waif.”

His broken whisper makes my knees buckle, and my breath hitches.

Inhaling a shaky breath, I straighten my back.

“Goodbye, Garrett.”

My heart is splintering in my chest, a thousand fragments exploding into the air.

“Wait, please,” he calls out as I turn my back on him. I only walk faster away from him.

“Goddammit, Suzy!” he yells. I can hear Rufus whining as the distance grows between us.

“My brother, Vincent, died, alright?”

Shocked to my very core, I stop in front of our apartment, and I squeeze my eyes shut. I can feel Garrett’s presence behind me, the warmth from his body pressing in on me. His breathing is rushed, hard, and I rest my forehead on the door.

“He was my twin, Suzy,” he whispers, and the agony in his voice pierces my heart. “He was my other half – the same voice, the same eyes, the same smile…but not the same person,” Garrett continues.

I feel him lean down on my left side to whisper in my ear.

“Do you know what it’s like to miss a piece of your soul, waif?”

I shake my head slowly. “You know I don’t.”

He sighs heavily, his chin resting on my shoulder and I lift my head and tilt it to the side, trying to comfort him even in some small way.

“Do you know what it feels like to hate, Suzy?” he asks me.

My breath falters.

“No.”

“I hope with all that I am that you’ll never find out.” His voice is no longer weak, and I shiver from hearing the harsh, unforgiving, and determined vow so close to my ear.

He rests an arm above my head, and I don’t know how long we remain standing like this in our own little world, oblivious to anyone who might find us. The moment is intimate, but not in a sexual way. I can sense how much Garrett longs to be comforted, but at the same time, he keeps holding back.

Stubborn man.

“What happened, Garrett?” I venture to ask and open my eyes to take in his stance beside me.

He squeezes his eyes shut and his other arm snakes its way across my right hip to my stomach as he shakes his head.

“Please tell me,” I beg. “Please let me help you…”

He plasters his front to my back, and I reach up to entwine our fingers, silently trying to tell him that I’m strong enough to hear his story.

“What is it about you that makes my walls crumble?”

I hope he doesn’t expect me to answer that.

“How can you come into my life like this, like a flame burning bright, tearing down my resolve to remain unattached?” he goes on.

My broken heart is starting to warm from hearing his words, but it will take more than sweet declarations like this to let him in completely again.

“Garrett –” I start, but he interrupts me.

“I killed him. I killed Vincent, and my fiancée, and our unborn child.”

“What?” I gasp, horrified.

“You heard me. I killed them.”

Head reeling, I try to get in control of my body that has begun to shake.

“Everyone said it was an accident,” he muses, not seeming to take in the shock that has overcome me. “The road that night might have been like ice from the snow, and the man driving the truck that came screeching towards us might have been drunk, but…I know better. I killed them.”

My breath comes out in huffs, and I feel lightheaded, as if I’m about to faint for the first time in my life.