Fool for Love (High Rise) (5 page)

“Really?” Alex's eyes grew wide. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.” Judging by the flabbergasted look on her face, this was not the reply Alex had expected. Maddie could hardly blame her for that.

“And I didn’t mean to shock you.” Maddie sighed. “Anyway, it’s over now. It had no future. She was never going to pick me.”

ALEX

Disappointment rushed over Alex. Maddie was really starting to grow on her, so much so that she was beginning to think she could overlook the fact she was a banker, but this, this was so much worse. She could never overlook cheating.

“She was with someone?” She leaned back in her chair, wanting to put physical distance between her and Maddie.

The thin lines bracketing Maddie’s mouth deepened as she drew her lips into a pained pout. “Still is. Married to a man. A fight I can never win.”

“How long did it go on for?” Alex might as well extract as much information as possible. She couldn’t hide the disapproval on her face though. She never could.

“About six months, on and off. Look, we don’t—”

“And she never told him?” The poor sod is just like me, she thought. Betrayed by banker bitches. Alex never used the b-word lightly, not even in her thoughts.

“You know what it’s like for Chinese women. The pressure from the family is immense. I know you’re out, but for most of them, it’s just not an option.”

“Oh, I know exactly what it’s like. Just as I know exactly what it feels like to have someone you trust completely, someone you trust with your life, cheat on you.”

Alex felt all the pent-up rage well up. Maybe Maddie didn’t deserve an outburst like that, but, again, as far as she could tell, she was just like Rita. She appropriated things—people—that didn’t belong to her. Alex could never see past that. She threw her napkin on the table and delved in her bag for some money.

“I’m sorry.” She flung two hundred dollar bills on the table, which was surely too much but she didn’t want to owe Maddie anything. “This was clearly a mistake.”

She cast one more glance at Maddie’s startled face and headed towards the stairs. She needed to be alone, away from someone like that. Tears stung her eyes as she exited the restaurant.

She’d allowed herself to entertain the notion of the two of them… the two of them what? As if she hadn’t seen Maddie gawk at her in the steam room. As if that hadn’t been the reason Alex had invited her.

Instead of gliding up slowly on the escalator, Alex took the stairs to her building, eager to burn off her frustration. She hoped Nat’s toy girl would have left. At least Nat was always honest about her intentions. She didn’t pretend to be something she wasn’t. She didn’t make someone believe she loved them—for six full years—and then stab them in the heart.

As soon as Alex arrived home she sank down in the couch and cried. She cried for Rita. And for Maddie. For herself. She realised she was feeling mighty sorry for herself. But was honesty really so much to ask for?

“Hey,” Nat came storming out of her office. “What happened?” She squatted next to Alex and placed her hands on Alex's trembling knees.

One look was enough to convey to Nat that she shouldn’t ask too many questions. She’d know anyway. She made a living out of describing people’s behaviour and she knew what people were like. If anyone, Nat would understand.

“They’re all just a bunch of cold-hearted bitches. Cheating and betraying their way through life. It disgusts me, Nat. I can’t help it, but I find it all so revolting.”

Nat stood up and took a seat next to Alex. She put her arm around her shoulder and drew her towards her. “Come here.” She patted Alex's hair. “I’m sorry for pushing you, Pizza. I know you better by now.”

“It’s hardly your fault,” Alex sobbed. “I really liked her.”

“Gosh, I would never have guessed.” This was why Alex loved Nat so much. She was an expert at relieving tension with silly remarks. She was starting to feel a bit ridiculous, crying over a woman she barely knew. She’d spilled enough tears on Rita—she wasn’t wasting any more on her.

“I can’t believe I stormed out of there.” Alex buried her face in her hands. “She must think I’m one of the crazy ones.”

“Trust me. No one will ever accuse you of being crazy. You are the most grounded, sane person I know. If only we all had a bit of Pozzato in us, the world would be better for it.” Nat coaxed Alex's fingers away from her wet face. “Now, tell me what happened. I was just lacking some inspiration and there’s nothing like a good dose of lesbian drama to get me going again.”

Alex told Nat about the discovery of Maddie’s flaws and her own—admittedly—somewhat disproportionate reaction to them. She collapsed back into the couch while uttering a big sigh.

“Wait here. Don’t move.” Nat walked to the liquor cabinet and poured a generous amount of Amaretto into a glass. She padded back and offered it to Alex. “Drink this.”

Alex didn’t protest. She brought the glass to her lips and let the sweet alcohol soothe her.

“I fully realise I often abuse it, but booze is not always bad for you.” Nat plastered a crooked smirk on her face. “What do you say we get out of here for the rest of the weekend? I’ll check with Henry if his place on Lantau is available. Just you and me, the beach, some books and some really bad movies.”

“It’s not because my taste in cinema is different from yours that it’s necessarily bad.” Alex threw a cushion in Nat’s direction, intentionally only hitting the side of her arm.

“Let’s agree to disagree on that one.”

PART TWO

MADDIE

Maddie could hardly ignore June’s existence. She was there, in the office, every day of every week, with her low-plunging necklines and well-shaped calves, and she looked good. She glowed. As if her body had suddenly decided to thrive after Maddie’s last break-up with her three weeks ago.

For Maddie, on the other hand, those weeks had been the loneliest in a long time. So lonely, in fact, she’d begun doing research on going back home. Back to Melbourne, where her sister lived with her two boys. Her parents. And Emma.

Maddie let the memory of Emma swamp her. Five years ago she’d been convinced of making the right choice: her career over love. Emma didn’t want to relocate to Singapore with her. Fine. She’d go alone. Piece of cake. Yeah right.

Expat regret, Maddie called it, when she browsed the internet for job opportunities in Melbourne. For the first time ever, after a year in Singapore, two in Shanghai and two in Hong Kong, she realised she had sacrificed too much. It’s not as if happiness was that easy to come by for anyone, and Maddie had made it especially hard on herself.

A great view over the harbour was not happiness. An after-hours fumble against her office door certainly wasn’t happiness. Going home to an empty flat was most dreadful of all.

Perhaps it was Alex who’d made her face the truth about herself. Good-hearted, wholesome Alex who needed organic food and honesty. She’d felt it with Alex—that glimmer of instant attraction. That afterthought, after first meeting, that this could be more. That it had potential. And then it had just faded out before it even started.

A knock on the door yanked Maddie out of her pensive mood.

“Come.” She straightened her posture.

June walked in and closed the door behind her. Maddie cast a quick glance at the wall clock. It was eight-thirty, well past regular office hours.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” June slanted her body against the door, like she’d done so many times before. What did she want? Was this the time for rekindling their affair? Maddie wasn’t really in the mood for that.

“Sure.” She gestured at a chair. “Please, have a seat.”

June took a deep breath and strutted towards the desk. She sank down in one of the brown leather visitor chairs and crossed her legs.

“I thought you should hear it from me before word got out.”

This peaked Maddie’s interest. She leaned forward, planting her elbows on her desk.

June gazed at her hands in her lap. Why couldn’t she look Maddie in the eye? She’d certainly never had a problem with that before.

“I’m listening.” Maddie tried to keep her voice as soft as possible. “What is it, ba—” She corrected herself before she could fully say it.
 

“I’m pregnant.”
 

Of all the things running through her brain, this was the last one Maddie had expected. She’d always, naively of course, assumed June and Mark didn’t have a sexual relationship. That it was more a marriage of convenience. That June only fucked her. A life of misconceptions, Maddie thought, that’s exactly what I’m living here.

“I suppose congratulations are in order.” Maddie’s voice broke a little. She couldn’t help it. It wasn’t so much that she’d lost June forever, she’d been half-way on the road to accepting that, it was more that she, at last, clearly saw all the mistakes she had made.
 

They spun in front of her eyes as if on display on a big wheel of fortune. Where would the wheel stop? At the bright pink ‘left long-term girlfriend in Australia’? Or maybe at the scolding harsh yellow of ‘only visited my nephews twice since they were born’? Or perhaps, more fitting for her current situation, at the devilish red of ‘fucked straight married co-worker for six months, and not once in a good old bed’.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. It was difficult for me.” June sat there, an expression of defeat on her face—sad eyes, trembling bottom lip and, now that Maddie looked closer, a hint of black circles under her eyes.

Maddie could tell her domestic bliss might not be the thing June was searching for. That she wasn’t heterosexual by a long shot. That the fact this kid was conceived while its mother was banging the boss were hard odds to start a life with, but it wasn’t her battle to fight anymore. And she had plenty of her own.

“I understand. I wish you all the best.” Gone was every trace of desire to slam June against the wall. To spread her legs and snake her fingers up along her thigh. This changed everything.

“I suppose there’s not much more to say.” June rose from her chair and Maddie could have sworn she saw a tear dangle from an eyelash. She started for the door, her head bent and a hand across her mouth.

“Hey. Wait.” Maddie sprang up and raced around her desk. “Come here.” She held out her arms for June, who turned around and greedily surrendered herself to them.
 

“You could leave him and we could raise the baby together,” Maddie wanted to say, but it wasn’t the right time for jokes like that, even though it might not have been that much of a joke. Instead, she patted June on the head while hugging her tightly.

“It’ll be all right,” Maddie whispered in her ex-lover’s ear. “You’re going to be a mother. How amazing is that?”

June lifted her head from Maddie’s shoulder, her face blotched and her eyes puffy. “It’s absolutely wonderful. But… this is the final curtain for us.”

“I know, baby. I know.” Maddie pulled June close again and embraced her for the last time.

ALEX

“I could do with a holiday.” Alex stretched her arms over her head. The pain in her shoulder was still there. “My body is exhausted.” Alex had been doubly busy, team-teaching classes with trainee instructors at a newly opened branch in Admiralty while learning choreographies of the latest releases herself.

“Stop doing everyone else’s job.” Nat slurped from her cappuccino. “And let them fill in for you for a change.” Some froth clung to her nose. “You’re too good for this world, Pizza. And definitely too good for this city.”

“Could you tell that to my mother, please? Ever since Rita and I broke up, she thinks I’m doomed.”

Nat shook her head. “For someone who puts so much stock in honesty, I find it extremely surprising you didn’t tell her the truth about your lovely ex.”

“She worshipped Rita. I couldn’t do that to her.”

“That’s my point proven again.” Nat slapped Alex playfully on the arm. “You’re crazy. And your mom’s old enough to handle the truth, no matter how vile.”

Alex froze as she stared at the door. In walked Isabella with Maddie following in her tracks.

“It’s just two ladies. Good-looking ladies at that. Hardly meriting that expression of utter shock on your face.” Nat instantly waved them over.

“What are you doing?” Alex had time to flee. Maddie and Isabella were second in line to place their order. “I haven’t seen her in weeks.”

“Just because you had a little melt-down, doesn’t mean you can’t be friendly to your neighbour. Forget about that.”

Nat was so easy about these things. Alex guessed that’s what happened when you slept with another girl every week on an overcrowded island with too small a surface. She had no choice but to practice casualness. Alex wasn’t really one for being casual though. And why would she be? She believed in taking things seriously.

The ladies approached their table and Nat was already pulling up extra chairs.

“What a sight for sore eyes on this dreary Saturday afternoon.” She kissed them both on the cheek.

Alex exchanged a shy glance with Maddie. Ever since storming out of the pizza restaurant three weeks ago, she’d declined any offer of Nat to meet up with their neighbours. Apart from feeling mortified, she’d also doubted herself. She feared she couldn’t trust herself around Maddie and the blue-grey stare of her eyes, which, most inappropriately, kept popping up in her fantasies.

“Hello stranger.” Isabella addressed Alex. “Where the hell have you been? At a certain point, I believed you’d moved out of the building and quit your job.”

“You know what The Ivy is like. You can go weeks without running into a familiar face.” Alex had been lucky—if that was the right word—to not have bumped into Maddie for a few weeks, but she felt quite flustered to be in her company now.

Isabella nodded and took the chair next to Nat, leaving the one next to Alex free for Maddie.

“What about the gym?” Maddie turned to her, fixing those eyes on Alex. “That guy replacing you isn’t half as fun to look at as you.”

“I’ll be back next week.” The few of her regular classes Alex had taught, Maddie had not attended. “Still going strong then?”

“Can’t you tell?” Maddie flexed her bicep. “I’ve even started doing weights.”